I thought that since the last time the city was full of turmoil, I would never see Kan Tao again.

But the meeting before leaving is basically no different from goodbye.

Perhaps, between Kan Tao and me, there were originally two parallel lines to each other, in the years of youth, there has never been a brief intersection, and has always maintained an equal distance, up and down.

And the time before going abroad, I felt that Kan Tao for me, maybe, has really turned the page. When I faced him, I suddenly had nothing to say, and I could no longer remember the heartache he had caused when he had tarnished and shattered my beautiful illusions so long ago.

Although we are not very young anymore, there were children in school uniforms playing soccer in the school playground that day, and the young people running on the road were like a light sail, swaying back to many years ago.

In those years, the elegance was just right, not arrogant or impatient. Although we are all running to different sides of life, we have the same memories as a souvenir of youth.

Kan Tao was by my side, and I felt like I wanted to stop talking. I don't know exactly what he wanted to say to me. If it was before the change, I would be nervous and expectant. But now, I can't find out.

On that day, we both rowed our own boats, but we were driving to the other side of our lives. When I found out that Kan Tao was getting farther and farther away from me, I knew that even if I would go through a lot of hardships, I didn't seem to have the courage to turn back.

Youth is inherently bright and sentimental. We sometimes indulge in singing, rowing and rocking, we want to reach the temple of our own life's dreams, but in fact we forget who he is and who has his own mobility.

As far as youth is concerned, this is not the effect of sailing against the current, and if you don't advance, you will retreat.

That day and Kan Tao waved goodbye, when he was standing on the green field of the campus, he said, Cao Muxi, goodbye.

Kan Tao in the wind is the same as when I was in elementary school, wearing a school uniform, tall and sunny. The one who was blessed by heaven had all the fantasies of my youth. I didn't have a mirror at the time, but I guess I must have been smiling like a flower. I gave him a sweet smile back, and a wisp of wind blew through my forehead, and I reached out and stroked it, goodbye. Youth.

The meeting and separation with Kan Tao seemed to make my trip to Toronto more reassuring, more down-to-earth, and without regrets.

The day before I left, I went to see my mother. I wanted to bring her some gifts, and after thinking about it, I finally chose to bring a bottle of magnolia-scented balm. For so many years, on the streets of Nanjing, the balm has gradually disappeared from the public's sight. I searched all the streets and alleys of Nanjing, and finally found a place in an alley that sold this kind of old Nanjing objects.

The box still has the old feeling of many years ago, although the things spread out in the palm of my hand are a little vicissitudes, but the smell of magnolia hidden in the lid makes me fascinated.

When you open the lid, you will find a familiar smell. It was as if the smell had brought back to my mother, to the emaciated mother, wearing a black cheongsam with her hair in a bun at the back of her head. I placed the box of balm in front of my mother's tombstone. The tombstone is very clean, and someone often comes to clean it, I guess, maybe Cao Ge.

I told my mother that I was leaving, that I was going to a far away place, and I didn't know if I would be able to come back, and I didn't know if I would have any nostalgia for the past after leaving Nanjing on the front foot. My mother on the other side listened silently to me talking to myself.

I looked up and asked my mother, how are you doing? No one answered.

I leaned on the front of my mother's tombstone, looked up at the blue sky, and chatted with my mother for a long, long time. The smell of magnolia flowers lingered all the way around, and I felt like I saw my childhood mother, smearing on her wrist and smiling sweetly.

When it was getting dark, I decided to get up and leave. At the moment when I was about to turn my head, I suddenly noticed that my mother's shadow faintly appeared on the tombstone. She was still the same as I remembered, but this time it was different from before, Mother Face did not smile at me as she did in her dreams, but was infinitely serious. She just looked at me solemnly. I can see that I have some hair, a little scared.

I took two steps back to the monument.

"What's wrong?" I asked softly.

Mother shook her head.

"You're reluctant to let me go, are you?" Mother shook her head in the same way.

I smiled faintly, "Is that something?" She lowered her head. I found that she still had the same black bag in her hand. My mother unzipped it and took something out of it and handed it to me. Of course, I couldn't catch it. But I saw what it was, it was my household register.

I don't know if my mother wants to use this household registration book to tell me whether I should stay or leave? I didn't quite understand what she was trying to say to me. She was as hesitant and uneasy as ever. A gust of wind blew, and I relieved myself and smiled: "After so many years, you still haven't changed." I'm leaving. ”

Actually, when I was saying that I was gone, there was one more word at the back, Mom. It's just that I put it in my heart.

When I turned around and decided to leave, I didn't dare to look back. I am afraid to see my mother's reluctance, anxiety, anxiety, and anxiety. I'm afraid of seeing too many things. I've been telling myself in my heart that if I decide to go, I won't look back. So, I got out of there almost at a trot.

That night, Cao Ge called me. And that phone call was basically vacant the whole time. Cao Ge didn't say anything, and I didn't know whether to say goodbye to her or tell her to be at ease. Cao Ge choked up several times on the phone, and I couldn't help but tease her: "It's not life and death, I'm just going to go abroad." Despite this, Cao Ge still cried silently. Before hanging up the phone, Cao Ge stopped crying, and she told me to take care of myself and come back when I was fine. Nanjing will always be my home.

I hummed and hung up the phone in a hurry. I was afraid of hearing the advice from the other end of the phone, and I was afraid of hearing Cao Ge's voice continuing to cry. I'm afraid, she's crying and crying, and I can't move my legs.

I stood upstairs and looked down, the city, people coming and going. It seems that every inch of land in Nanjing has left some secrets of youth that I don't know, and tears of growth. I've had my down, I've been lonely, I've been at a loss. And now, I am about to say goodbye to him and embark on a new journey. I don't know what the future holds after I leave, but it's a fresh start.

Before leaving, I suddenly wanted to send a text message to Liu Zhen. But after thinking about it, I edited it for a long time, and finally gave up.

Just like that, Zhao Song and I boarded the plane to Toronto. That was the first time I left Nanjing, and the only time.

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