Yu Shan spent the whole afternoon in a state of confusion. Joth's last sentence seemed to throw a boulder into his calm mind, causing a huge wave, and then his mind diverged uncontrollably like a wild horse, and then diverged again. As a result, those fragments of memory buried deep in the mind emerged one by one, disappeared, and re-emerged.

"Do you have any regrets that you have been thinking about changing all these years, and you even think about it in your dreams?"

What a pity...... Who doesn't?

My wife once leaned on Yu Shan's arm and asked me the same question, and Yu Shan replied with a smile: "Yes, but it's all over." Defects are also a kind of beauty. ”

In retrospect, the answer was nothing short of self-defeating. Because I can't go back to the past to make up for those past shortcomings, I will deceive myself and pretend to say this in a chic way. And now, the door is there, and Yu Shan has verified the authenticity of the world on the other side of the door with his own eyes. Then his almost silent heart rippled again, and streams of blood rushed into his head, and a voice in his head seemed to be tempting to say, "Go over, open that door, and ...... Go rewrite that! ”

Squeak ......

The sharp braking of the sign 308 makes a screeching sound when the tires rub against the asphalt. Yu Shan, who was in the driver's seat, leaned forward sharply, and then leaned back on the back of the seat all of a sudden. On the zebra crossing, less than half a meter away from the front of the car, two old men who were hobbling hand in hand turned their heads indifferently to glance at Yu Shan in the driver's seat, and then walked slowly and leisurely, walking across the crosswalk with a red light.

Yu Shan broke out in a cold sweat, and he was distracted. To be exact, he had been wandering since he came out of Old Joe's video store, so much so that now that he had recovered his senses, he found himself on his way home in a car. If it weren't for his instinctive driving reaction that made him step on the brakes in the first place, I am afraid that he would have knocked the two old men who ignored traffic safety and would rather risk their lives to save 30 seconds than cause great trouble to normal vehicles.

He shook his head and took a deep breath. He knew that he couldn't indulge in it anymore, otherwise let alone rewrite the shortcomings, whether he could get home alive or not was two words.

There was an impatient horn behind him, Yu Shan hung up the first gear, released the clutch and stepped on the accelerator to start, and drove home without distractions along the way.

Yu Shan lives in the scholarly garden in the eastern suburbs, and the name of the community that has just been built for four years is very confusing. At first glance, outsiders think that this community is adjacent to the university town, but in fact, there is only 33 middle school around the famous scholarly garden, which has neither scholarly fragrance nor the appearance of a famous garden, just an ordinary community.

The reason why Yu Shan's family settled their home here at the beginning was because it was one of the few newly opened multi-storey real estate projects, and the other was because the environment was good and it was not far from the two old people.

An afternoon of cranky thinking seemed to consume Yu Shan's huge physical strength, as soon as he entered the house, Yu Shan was tired and settled on the sofa, and at the same time, his thoughts were scurrying like wild horses on the loose, and the fragments of those memories were like slides, and scenes passed through his mind.

Knowing that the doorbell rang, Yu Shan suddenly realized that it was dark unconsciously, and his wife Zhao Xiaomeng should come back.

Yu Shan got up to open the door, and as soon as the door opened, Zhao Xiaomeng angrily threw the bag over and complained: "Broken M4, I will never open it again in the future." ”

Yu Shan took the bag and threw it on the sofa, and asked absentmindedly casually, "What's wrong?" ”

"Don't mention it, I opened the trunk when I got to the unit in the morning, and then I couldn't close it. After almost half an hour, I tried to find a rope to tie it in. Zhao Xiaomeng said while changing her shoes: "Changing gears one by one, the power is still poor, and I was overtaken by others on this road." It's also an automatic transmission, which is not as easy to use as our manual 308. ”

"You're used to it."

"No matter, I'll start driving 308 tomorrow."

"Okay." Yu Shan said: "Then change it, go back and call your brother-in-law and ask him to help deal with M4." ”

"Huh?" Zhao Xiaomeng said in surprise: "I bought it back and sold it after only a week?" ”

"It's a second-hand car, and it's been 40,000 kilometers, if you don't look like it, can we buy it?"

"What are you going to do after that?"

"Let's take the bus first, let your brother-in-law deal with the M4, and see if you can find the right Jetta."

"Okay then." Zhao Xiaomeng took off her coat, suddenly sniffed, then frowned and looked at the smoke-filled living room and said, "Did you set the house on fire or what?" Why do you smoke so much? ”

Without waiting for Yu Shan to answer, she found another thing: "And I haven't cooked dinner yet." Zhao Xiaomeng, who realized it later, noticed that her husband's face was full of exhaustion. Got into something? ”

Yu Shan nodded, thought about it slightly, and hid the matter of yesterday's door, and only talked about Lao Qiao's condition.

Zhao Xiaomeng asked with concern for a long time, knowing the relationship between Yu Shan and Lao Qiao, she was relieved a few more words, and then said with palpitations: "It's really scary, it's ...... at a young age" The look of regret on her face flashed, and then she frowned and looked at Yu Shan and said, "You smoke less in the future, it's not good for your health." ”

Yu Shan didn't take a stubble, and when he heard his wife's stomach singing about the empty city plan, he got up to cook. was immediately stopped by Zhao Xiaomeng: "Forget it, I'm back." You're in a bad mood today, so take a break. I'll do this meal, green pepper shredded potatoes and tomatoes and eggs, don't pick if it's delicious or not. ”

After speaking, Zhao Xiaomeng tied an apron, washed her hands and went into the kitchen to work. Yu Shan stayed in the living room, sat on the sofa and continued to think nonsense. The more I think about it, the more I think about it, the more irritable I become. Hearing the sound of the range hood, Yu Shan couldn't wait to fight with someone now.

He felt that his current state was not suitable for him at home, so he simply got up, explained to Zhao Xiaomeng the sentence 'go out for a walk', grabbed his clothes and went out of the house.

Without a car key or a mobile phone, Yu Shan walked out of the community in a trance. When he woke up, he found that it was completely dark, and he inexplicably walked into the Guanyuan community where his parents were.

Yu Shan thought self-deprecatingly: "If you encounter something, you will find your parents, I have really lived in vain for more than 30 years." ”

With a wry smile, he sat down on a bench in the community. I fumbled for a cigarette and found that I didn't have a lighter. He stuffed the cigarette he had just held in his mouth back into the cigarette case, thinking about what to do.

Just as he was thinking, a pair of chubby paws suddenly rested on his thighs. Looking down, the golden retriever and three fat men that he bought for his father were looking at him with his mouth open and his tail wagging.

looked in the direction where the three fat men were running, and saw his father Yu Wanhong walking slowly towards this side with his hands behind his back. The old man has been retired for half a year, his eyes are not good, and it is dark, so he thought that the three fat men were selling cuteness to passers-by again, but he just shouted the names of the three fat men twice from a distance.

Yu Shan touched the head of the three fat people, stood up and walked two steps towards his father, and called, "Dad." ”

"Yu Shan?" His appearance surprised his father: "Why did you come here?" What about Xiaomeng? Have you seen your mother? ”

Yu Shan shook his head and said, "Just me, I'll come over after turning around." I don't know what's going on, but the appearance of my father made Yu Shan feel a lot more relaxed all of a sudden, and it felt like he had found his backbone. Even though my father's hair was half white, the wrinkles made my father's majestic face look more and more kind.

"The two of you quarreled?" Knowing his son Mo Ruo's father, after a glance, Yu Wanhong saw that Yu Shan was preoccupied.

"No, it was Joss who found out that there was a tumor in his head, which was malignant. The doctor said that it was only this month. ”

Yu Wanhong was stunned for a moment, and then sighed: "How can such a thing be done by such a good person...... Old Qiao's family is pitiful enough. His father's death was unknown back then, and now this kid Joss has this disease again. ”

I was worried. Yu Shan took out a cigarette, took out two, handed one to his father, and took one in his mouth, and then the father and son stared at each other. After a long time, Yu Wanhong said: "Your mother doesn't give me a dollar now, so I'm afraid that I will pick up a lighter and smoke cigarettes everywhere." ”

Yu Shan: "......" He silently stuffed the cigarette back again, while Yu Wanhong held the unlit cigarette under his nose as if he had found a treasure, sniffing it from time to time.

The fat big golden retriever and the three fat men circled around Yu Shan for a long time, until they confirmed that Yu Shan would not give it meat bones, and then they ran into the grass with their big tails to chase a little Po Mei.

"Dad, do you have any regrets in your life?" Yu Shan asked suddenly.

Lao Yu smiled: "What are you talking about?" If there are no regrets, is that still called life? ”

"Have you ever thought about making amends, I mean, if you have the chance. Like what...... The case back then. Yu Shan said cautiously. That case used to be a taboo for his father, Lao Yu.

"I don't want to now. In this life, people are bitter and sweet, no matter what. It was really depressing to retire back then, but now look at it, that's what happened. Look at your Uncle Liang, he is working hard to drill camps everywhere, and when he retires, he will be mixed up at the department level. After a few days, the central government came to fight flies and tigers together, and the matter of buying out compensation for the length of service of the Dahua factory was found out. Seeing that sixty people were imprisoned in a small black room by the discipline inspection. That is, no one cares about him, an old guy who is about to retire, and their family sold the house and plugged the hole, otherwise it is difficult to say whether they can come out. Look at your dad again, I'm not very good now, I don't have to worry about eating and drinking, and I don't lack money to spend. If your mom nagged me, she would go out and play table tennis, chess, tea, and spend an afternoon with the old guys at the community center. The calm smile on Comrade Lao Yu's face suddenly disappeared, and he said solemnly: "There is one point, everyone's grandchildren are in elementary school, why hasn't my grandson moved?" The granddaughter can do it too. ”

Yu Shan scratched his head and said perfunctorily: "It's almost there." Then he asked, "Dad, there is something I don't know whether to ask or not." ”

Comrade Lao Yu glared: "You have to ask whether you should ask or not, if you have a fart, let it go!" ”

"Eh, that...... Dad, what did you ...... about that case back then?"

Comrade Lao Yu raised his leg and was about to kick Yu Shan, so he raised his voice and said, "What is the stinky boy pondering? Although you didn't say it was clean back then, you didn't have the audacity to act to the point of lawlessness. ”

"Not clean?"

"There weren't many people in the banking system back in those days who were innocent. Either the political tasks pressed down from above, or the various relationships that came up around the corner, no one can afford to offend. You are also in your thirties, and you have been drifting in society for more than ten years, and you still can't understand this kind of thing? ”

Yu Shan breathed a sigh of relief, and then asked, "What about Qiao Si's father?" ”

"Qiao Mingyuan?" Lao Yu snorted, shook his head and said, "If you want to say that Lao Qiao is corrupt and bribe-taking, I believe it...... Collusion with robbers, how is it possible? ”

At this time, Comrade Lao Yu's mobile phone rang, answered a few times, put down the phone and said, "Your mother has cooked, has you eaten?" Your mom rolled noodles and didn't eat a bite. ”

Yu Shan thought that Zhao Xiaomeng had already cooked the meal, and estimated that he couldn't find his own person at this time, so he shook his head: "No, I'll go back and eat." Then I'll go first, Dad. ”

Yu Shan seemed to untie some knot, and strode towards the outside of the community. After a while, he trotted to catch up with Lao Yu, who was about to enter the unit door.

"Dad, do you have ten dollars? I hit it back. I came out in a hurry, and I didn't bring a wallet. ”

Lao Yu looked at Yu Shan for a long time with affection and said, "Then you should go up with me." ”