The purpose of doing favors is to get the help of the other party, people, working hard in the society is to need the help of nobles, but people who can do favors do get the help of nobles, people who don't know how to be favors, not only can not get help, but nobles will respect him instead. Let's now take a look at how the three social classes do human favors.

Forced acceptance by the grassroots society, confused, awkward at both ends, and unsustainable.

People in grassroots society have the following characteristics: "compulsory acceptance", "confusion", "awkwardness", and "unsustainable". I'll explain them one by one below.

In fact, in the final analysis, doing favors is to take advantage of each other, and high-level societies do not do any favors, because high-level societies are inherently affectionate and righteous. The grassroots society is desperate to give favors to each other, because the grassroots society is ruthless. People are like this, the more they don't have something, the more they have to show that they have it. Therefore, the grassroots society does favors, it is really a living and rigid routine, which is forced to be accepted by the family. Let me give you an example: for example, the grassroots society opened a restaurant, the high-level society and the grass-roots society know, and when they heard that the grass-roots society opened, they specially came to support him, and the result was that the grass-roots society that opened the restaurant did not charge money, so that the family "forcibly accepted", and the high-level society was very embarrassed, because as long as the people with a little social status were more concerned about reputation, people originally came to cheer, but you made people come to eat and drink, and the things that originally cost dozens of yuan had to be "confused". This made the other party feel particularly awkward from the heart. The grassroots society is actually very awkward, because after all, it is itself that suffers, and from the bottom of my heart, the grassroots society is unwilling to suffer a penny. The high-level society is also awkward after returning home, because the heart of the high-level society is unwilling to owe others a penny, which is a very happy thing, but it makes everyone uncomfortable, which is called "awkwardness at both ends". The high-level society will eventually return the favor in another way, but people will support you, and they will have to work hard to repay the favor, so the other party can't come next time. If the first time he came he didn't know that you didn't want money, then the second time he dared to come is to make it clear that others said that he was eating and drinking. Therefore, forcing others to accept it, in a sense, means breaking off relations with the other party. Favors with a coercive nature, on the contrary, cut off contact with the other party, which is called "unsustainable".

In fact, the grassroots society does this kind of favor, the real is "the gain outweighs the loss", you can give the other party preferential treatment when doing business, but you can't give him free, this is fundamentally against the economic law and the principle of communication, people only have contacts under the condition of mutual benefit. If you are really talented, then you have to find a way to let the other party understand you, but when you come up, you block the way of communication, that is, you don't give the other party a chance to understand you. Grassroots society needs to interact with high-level society, in addition to sincerity, but also to understand the rules of high-level social interaction, stay

Create a space for interaction with each other and create opportunities for continuous interaction with high-level society.

Therefore, the grassroots society will never understand a truth in their lives: human favor is not "icing on the cake", but "charcoal in the snow". The high-level society also comes from the grass-roots society, and the high-level society also has times when it is down, but when the high-level society is down, the grass-roots society judges people by their appearance, and not only does not give help, but will ridicule and ridicule. Therefore, the high-level society will not help him after success, and the high-level society also knows in their hearts that this kind of person is just a thin mud that can't support the wall, short-sighted and narrow-minded, and the higher the position of this kind of person, the more bad things he will do, and there will be immorality. Therefore, if the grassroots society wants to get the help of nobles, it is necessary to remember one sentence: we must always "be kind to others", and do less to do those rigid favors.

The interests of the middle class are clear and can be sustained.

There is a characteristic of the interaction between the middle class society and people, that is, the interests are placed on the table, that is, we often say that "ugly words are in front", there is a standard for everything, this standard is "mutual benefit", in fact, this makes both parties very happy, so this kind of interaction in the middle society can be sustained.

There is also a disadvantage of doing things in the middle class, that is, everything must put interests first, and sometimes it will be put on the table, which makes people feel very ruthless. But this is also the advantage of the middle society, because every business must be clearly stated, so that both parties will not feel that who owes anyone favors, so that both parties are very open and comfortable, which maintains the smooth flow of communication. In doing so, they not only protect their own interests, but also maintain interpersonal relationships.

Most importantly, it is an opportunity for the middle class to be promoted. In fact, the society is full of talented people, but there is no opportunity to show, and the middle society can communicate with a variety of partners for a long time, including many hidden in the city's high-level society, because there is a good communication channel, the high-level society can quickly understand those talented middle-level society, they will give the middle-level society more opportunities, either to promote and appoint, or to provide him with greater business opportunities. Why would the top society do this? Because the high-level society doesn't really care about money, the high-level society does things more to make greater value for the society, if a person is indeed talented, let him do a bigger business, or put him in a higher position, then he will make greater contributions to the society, and at the same time, he can also make the other party realize greater value of life. The so-called "give people roses, leave a lingering fragrance in your hands." "A word from the high-level society can often change a person's fate, which can not only be the beauty of adults, but also benefit the society, such a thing, of course, the high-level society must do.

The high-level society is natural, and it comes naturally.

The favor of the high-level society is neither the forced buying and selling of the grass-roots society, nor the clear distinction of interests of the middle-level society. Instead, go with the flow and offer Buddha through flowers. In fact, to achieve the highest level of favor, is to make the other party feel that they don't owe you a favor at all, everything is taken for granted, so that the favor can be done in the other party's heart.

Let me give you an example: Cao Cao's favors. During the Three Kingdoms period, Cao Cao was very good at doing favors, when the princes were divided, the princes from all walks of life only knew how to fight for territory, and the Son of Heaven was destined to die at the end of the world, Cao Cao at that time had a very political vision, Cao Cao's political strategy was to "coerce the Son of Heaven to order the princes", but how to take the Son of Heaven to his side is a big problem, how to let the Son of Heaven support him, at least not to commit suicide, not to oppose himself, is also a big problem. This requires a great favor to the Son of Heaven. Let's see how Cao Cao did it, after he saw the Son of Heaven, he not only solved the urgent need for food and clothing for the Son of Heaven, but also told the Son of Heaven that anything he offered to the Son of Heaven was originally the Son of Heaven. On the shore of the land, it is not the king's minister. Everything Cao Cao has now was given to his father by the Son of Heaven back then, and this is just to return the things that the Son of Heaven rewarded his father to the Son of Heaven. "Let the Son of Heaven feel that it is not Cao Cao who gave the Son of Heaven anything, but that the Son of Heaven has withdrawn the wealth and status that belonged to him. Cao Cao is well versed in the way of human affection, so he made the favor of the Son of Heaven very beautiful, and the ultimate favor is not only to let the other party get benefits, but also to let the world say that it is what he deserves, which is called "justifiable, unyielding." Therefore, high-level social favors often not only let the other party get benefits, but also make the other party feel comfortable.

Let me give you another example: a university professor who can be a human being. There was a university professor who saw that there were several students in his class who had great potential and decided to nurture them more in his spare time, so that they could make greater contributions to society in the future. So every time it was almost the end of the week, I said to the students, "Don't be too busy playing, help me do some work, and go to my house on Saturday and Sunday to water the flowers." "In fact, watering flowers is a small matter, after those students arrived at the professor's house, the professor gave them a lot of extra knowledge, and they got additional training. But the professor didn't say to them directly, "Come to my house, and I'll make up for you." "If you talk like that, you're not a person from the top of society. The high-level society is to ask you to help me on the surface, but in fact, I am helping you, so that everyone will thank the professor from the heart, so no matter how much achievement those students have in the future, they can't forget the professor's cultivation of them, this is the way of high-level society to do favors: always be able to do the favor in the other party's heart. Of course, we don't want to spend the belly of a gentleman with the heart of a villain, maybe the professor doesn't mean to give favors to others at all, he just does his best to cultivate a few more useful talents for the society and the country, but everyone really thanks him from the heart, so the more the high-level society does not give favors to each other, the more the other party is grateful to him from the heart, which is a realm of life for people.

(End of chapter)