There is a saying that "people are divided by groups, and things are gathered by like." "Different people make different friends. But people can't just know their circle of friends, otherwise they will never be able to know more about people and things, and they will not be able to break through their own limitations. Let's take a look at how people from all three social classes interact with their friends.

High-rise society goes with the flow.

The circle of friends in the upper society is very natural, they do not pursue external decoration, but pay attention to the communication of the heart. They can talk about the general trend of the world at the open-air stone table, they will not be troubled by who will pay in the end, they will not see each other as different because of the difference in their style of conversation, and they will not be annoyed and angry because of the other person's sharp words.

Let me give you an example: if you look at the three social classes going to a restaurant to eat, you can see that the gathering of the high-level society does not care who pays, and it is natural for anyone to pay; And the middle class society will be very troubled in order to pay, they feel that it is a very lossy thing to pay the bill, and they feel that it is very faceless if they do not pay, they do not want to lose face, and do not want to pay the bill, so the most common trick of the middle class people is to go to the bathroom when they are about to finish eating, and it will take a long time to go, and when he comes back, someone has already settled the bill, at this time, he will pretend to be generous and say: "I wanted to pay, I will treat you when I turn back." This "turnaround" is not sure whether it is the Year of the Monkey or the Moon of the Horse, so people in the middle class have to go to the bathroom first as soon as they enter the hotel, in fact, they are on the road, so as not to find the bathroom at a critical moment. But in the end, this is not such a clever trick, so that many middle-class people will use it, so when the meal is almost over, the bathroom is very crowded, and those who can't squeeze in can only pay obediently. Therefore, the hotel owner who can do business always has to set up a few more toilets, otherwise the middle society will have to pay because he can't squeeze into the toilet, and he will spill his resentment on the hotel owner, and he will definitely not come next time, and the hotel business will not have to be done; And the people in the grassroots society can't play this trick in the end, but they will be grateful to the person who pays the bill on the surface, as if they owe the other party a lot of favors, if the people who pay the bill are people from the top society, they will feel very uncomfortable, because the people in the top society don't want to owe favors to anyone, and they don't want anyone to owe favors to others, they feel that everyone can get together to be happy, and there is no need to make it as if they want to give alms.

Let's observe from the style of eating, people in the upper society can drink alcohol, I drink coffee, he drinks tea, and they talk about it, because the high society does not care about what to drink, but cares about saying something, so for the high society, eating habits are secondary, and it is important for everyone to get together and talk about the world; As long as there is one person in the middle class who drinks, everyone else must drink, otherwise he will not be given face, so if you eat with the middle class, unless you admit that you are "sick" and the doctor advises you not to drink, he will feel that he has saved his face a little. Therefore, people in the middle class get together in addition to the negotiation of interests, which is the exchange of face, and there is no in-depth topic to talk about. If they can invite someone who is a little famous, they must take a photo with him at the dinner table, and use it as a capital that they can show off in the future, but that celebrity is very awkward! As soon as they took a bite of the chicken leg and didn't swallow it, they were treated

took a photo, this kind of photo is really both degrading and detrimental to the image, so next time he won't dare to eat with this group of people anyway. Although this kind of gathering has no meaning for learning about things and enriching one's knowledge, the people of the middle class are happy with themselves, and they are secretly happy because they have taken a photo with a celebrity; If there is a person in the grassroots society who drinks, you must drink, even if you say that you are "sick", because the logic of the grassroots society is: "Friends want to stick a knife in both sides, so what is it to drink some wine!" Therefore, the gathering of the grassroots society is the gathering of the strongest people, and their gathering is sadistic in a sense, and it is a typical "harm to others and not to oneself", so you know, but anyone of a certain level will not participate in the party they hold.

There is also a difference in their conversation, people in high-level society can talk about the world, not only can talk about the general trend of the world, but also can point out the shortcomings of the other party, in fact, the reason why friends are friends is to dare to tell you the truth, so that you can realize your shortcomings, in order to correct your shortcomings and improve yourself; And people in the middle class can't point out each other's shortcomings when they get together, otherwise they will think that you don't give him face, he will hate you, and the party will break up unhappily; People in the grassroots society are even better, as long as you dare to say what shortcomings he has, he will draw his sword and immediately play with you, so the people in the grassroots society may become friends after a meal, or they may become enemies, so if you have to gather with people in the grassroots society, you should try to talk as little as possible, because their understanding is limited, and he can't understand if you reason, but he will misunderstand you and think that you are accusing him, which is called "saying too much and making mistakes", isn't it asking for trouble.

Let me tell you a story that I personally experienced: I once knew a clothing owner who once brought me a piece of clothing I wanted at a very cheap price, and I am very grateful to him. I saw that his business was very cold, and through observation I found out that he had made a mistake: he was selling cutting-edge clothes, and his lover sat at the door every day, but his lover did not fit his style of clothing regardless of age or image. So I went and told him, "Don't let your lover sit at the door every day, if you want to attract customers, hire a young and beautiful waitress to stand at the door." "He corrected his shortcomings and business improved, but he ignored me and thought I was belittling his family. And I just have a clear conscience, and I have returned his favor, since he looks at me like that, there is no need for everyone to interact anymore. I'd rather let him correct his shortcomings and return the favor than turn a blind eye to his business depression for fear that he would alienate me, which is my style of doing things. So we know that you have to be mentally prepared to deal with people in the grassroots society, unless you owe them a favor, you really don't need to care about them, because they can't interact with you on the same platform of thought.

Middle-level social interests are related.

To make friends with the middle class, you must get a good outfit, otherwise he will feel that it is very shameless to associate with you. Therefore, people in the middle class seem to be full of guests, but in fact, they probably don't have a real friend, because those are vain people, and when their friends are in trouble, they not only won't help, but they are afraid that it will be too late. So you don't have to pay too much attention to making friends with people in the middle class, because you are rooted at the critical moment

I can't count on him, but you can also avoid him when he is in danger, as long as you don't fall into the ground, you are already a friend enough for him. So we see that people in the middle class are always ups and downs, ups and downs, they don't pay their hearts to their friends, but they expect their friends to pay their hearts to him, which is really self-deception, so when he is down, not only no one will give him charcoal, but also from time to time he will fall into the well, and when he is brilliant, there are a large number of people who give him the icing on the cake. So there is a saying called "A true gentleman who sends charcoal in the snow, and the icing on the cake is a villain." From this, it can be seen that there are no friends in the circle of friends of the middle class, only interests.

It is difficult for the grassroots society to be strong.

There are two kinds of people in the circle of friends in the grassroots society, one is called "masochism" and the other is called "sadism", because the people in the grassroots society are the most difficult to love the strong, so the grassroots society will desperately pour you wine at the wine table, as long as he does it, you can't be casual, they think that only in this way can they afford each other. And this style of doing things makes people with a little bit of a level stay away from them.

If he opens a restaurant, you happen to be his friend, as long as you go to dinner, he will never take your money, no matter how you reason with him, he will not listen. But don't think it's a good thing, if you dare to eat his food for nothing, one day he will pull you to do things that violate the law and discipline, if you don't go, you will become his enemy, and if you go, your life will be over. Therefore, it is difficult for the grassroots society to love strong people, so we must stay away from them, and we can't owe them a little favor, otherwise this favor will become an excuse for them to make trouble with you in the future.

Let me give you another example: if one day you go to dinner and you happen to meet an acquaintance from a grassroots society, but you have not been in contact with him for a long time and do not want to associate with him. He's going to drag you to a drink with his group of friends and tell you, "I'll let you know my high-level friends!" Then you say to him, "My friend is also very high-level, so I will not accompany him." Then he will say to you, "If your friends are high, are my friends low?" From this incident, we can see the logic of the grassroots society: the logic of the grassroots society has always been to elevate themselves by belittling others, so they have to distinguish between high and low with others, and there is no concept of equality of personality in the logic of grassroots society. So people in the grassroots society either think that you look down on him, or he will look down on you, he will never be able to balance this relationship, so you have to be very careful when dealing with people in the grassroots society, you must not hurt your own self-esteem, but also not hurt the other party's self-esteem. If you lower your self-esteem, he'll get an inch. If you hurt his self-esteem, everyone is embarrassed. Another example: you are walking, but people in the grassroots society stop you, and if they see that you don't want to pay attention to him, they will ask you: "Is there something wrong with you?" You'll be very strange if he stopped you and asked you if you were the same, if you told him, "It's all right." Then he would say, "Then you can go." "People in the grassroots society really love face, he has to stop you, and when he sees that you don't want to pay attention to him, he feels very shameless, so he makes it seem like you are looking for him, and pretends to be smart and asks you what's the matter? People in the grassroots society often do this, and they think that they are very good at playing smart, and as a result, people are more and more respectful of him.

(End of chapter)