After the momentary and violent dizziness, Feng Ayan opened her eyes and found herself sitting upright on the edge of the kang, with a disheveled Zhao Langzhong on her knees and crying and crying, and Zhao Langzhong pressed his knife on his waist, and the scene was very chaotic.

She immediately understood that this was Feng Yan who replaced her halfway through the inspection?

Feng Ayan immediately lowered her head to look at Xiao Langzhong's back, then threw the knife to the tip of the kang, quickly tore off the hem of the clothes piled up on his shoulders, tightly covered the thin waist, and then helped him up: "Zhao Langzhong, Zhao Langzhong, calm down, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, don't be afraid......"

"Ah Yan?" Hearing the familiar girl's voice, Zhao Hanjing raised his head full of hope, but his pupils couldn't help but be frightened, he took a deep breath, and said tentatively in disbelief, "Is it Ah Yan?" ”

"Well, it's me." She held him steady with one hand, and helped him tidy up his messy collar with the other, her eyebrows and eyes were full of tenderness and indulgence, "Take a deep breath, don't be afraid, I'm here." ”

Such a look would definitely not appear on Feng Yan's face. In the next breath, Xiao Langzhong threw himself into her arms as if he had grabbed a life-saving straw, hugged her tightly, and begged incoherently: "Help me, please...... It hurts, it hurts so much, the internal organs will flow out, please help me......"

What did Feng Yan do, all of them scared people like this?! If Feng Yan and himself were not the same person, Feng Yan would have already begun to greet her eighteenth generation ancestors at this time. But appeasing Xiaolangzhong is much more important than condemning Feng Yan, she feels sorry and distressed, and she can't confess Feng Yan's motives to Zhao Hanjing, so she has to slowly pat him on the back, coax like a child, and soften her voice to coax: "Okay, okay, I'll protect you, let's not cry, okay?" ”

“…… Seriously? Xiao Langzhong's tone was still a little sobbing, but his breathing was a little steater than before, and his body was not as shaky as before, and he looked a lot calmer.

"Seriously, I don't lie to you." Feng Ayan added in her heart, I promised Mr. He, I will protect you for a lifetime, and I have decided for a lifetime, that is, for a lifetime.

Unless she dies first, no one will try to snatch her life.

She couldn't save the swallow, she couldn't save her mother, she couldn't save Mr. He...... Fortunately, now she can save a Zhao Langzhong, and she can also save a Zhao Langzhong. Her heart had always been bound by the past, and she fell heavily into the abyss, but now she suddenly relaxed.

Lost the benchmark?

Then make your own benchmark.

Lost your grip?

Then be your own.

Let the past things pass, the days to come will be long, not to mention, she still has a little lang to take care of.

And with Feng Ayan's assurance, Xiao Langzhong finally breathed a sigh of relief. His muscles shivered from overtension, and he fell limply into her arms, closing his eyes and whispering, "It's a little embarrassing, it's too embarrassing." ”

Although his bosom was nothing more than a lump of skin-wrapped bones, pale and awkward, he could not sell it for a few bucks; But maybe it's because they've been together for a few days, Feng Ayan feels that he is extremely cute and deserves to be held in the palm of his hand like a treasure. She pulled the quilt over and wrapped him properly, "Huh? What's wrong? It's a shame to be there. ”

Hugs are a great way to calm down. Xiao Lang secretly sighed, and at the same time, he realized with a little loss that Ah Yan was so good to him, but it was actually just an unconscious compensatory behavior: she regretted her memories with her mother too deeply, so that after the onset of the disease, it affected the personality of the main and secondary sides. The side side has stripped away her emotions autonomously, and will not be hurt by anything, and naturally will not fall into a desperate situation like her mother; And the main face retains all her emotions, and even deepens them, and she begins to play the role of a "mother" in her mind to those close to her.

In other words, all the tenderness he received from her was only stolen, only stained with the light of her self-compensation, and he did not really deserve her such grace - he was lucky enough to be the first person she had ever seen since the onset of her illness, nothing more.

Zhao Hanjing slowly got up, put on the quilt and moved back to the mattress, keeping a distance from Feng Ayan. He wasn't covetous of the warmth in her arms, but he felt that it was enough and enough, after all, she wasn't really his mother, and ......

And sooner or later she will be healed, if he really indulges in this, when she is cured, how should he deal with himself?

Xiao Langzhong hid his face in the quilt and explained in a muffled voice: "That's it, I'm so scared that I shiver, and I still howl like that, I don't have the courage that a man should have, it's ugly." ”

Feng Ayanxin said that I have seen many strong men who are scared of incontinence, and you are at most a milk cat fluttering, ugly bird. But Xiao Zhao Langzhong is a serious doctor, she didn't dare to say vulgar words to him, so she had to compromise: "Everyone will have what they are afraid of, they are afraid of death, who said that men can't be afraid of death?" What's there to be ashamed of here. ”

"It's not that I'm afraid of death." Zhao Langzhong let out a long sigh and looked at the roof numbly like a corpse, "I often think that if I really drowned in the Jingjiang River at the age of thirteen and was not rescued, it would be fine." ”

He had never confessed this idea to anyone, and even if he adopted his stepfather, he didn't know that his adopted son often wanted to kill himself. He disguised it well, in the eyes of his father and the neighbors, he was just not good at socializing, he was just sick for a long time, and his temperament was shy, so he couldn't do anything, and he would be fine in the future...... But Zhao Hanjing felt that he probably couldn't get better.

Maybe Feng Ayan's experience is very similar to his own, and he can't help but want to share his secret with her; Maybe after such a toss, he finally couldn't suppress the emotions that could only be expressed in dreams, but also fermented in dreams...... Zhao Hanjing seemed to see the fire that year again, dyeing the sky the color of blood.

He seemed to be calm, but in fact, his mind was empty, and there was only one thought in his mind: "If you really regret it when you are cured of double soul disease, and want to kill me, then kill it—only one thing I have to beg you, please put me down with a bowl of drugs first, and don't let me see blood...... After that, whatever you do, I have no complaints, and maybe thank you......"

From the beginning, it wasn't supposed to be him who survived.

Feng Ayan was frightened when she heard this, and couldn't help but interrupt him coldly: "It's so dignified, what nonsense are you talking about." ”

"It's not nonsense, I have a packet of arsenic in my medicine box, and I have been carrying it with me for a year." Xiao Langzhong was afraid that she wouldn't believe it, so he stumbled and explained, "When my father passed away, I was thinking, maybe I'm really a lonely star, whoever is hit by it is finished, it is better to die directly, so ......"

"! If you are really so useful, I will send you directly to Nanwei, kill Jingwei's whole family, and fight a fart battle. Feng Ayan was so angry that she stared at her, and she couldn't care about reining in the ruffian on her body, so she simply fished out his medicine box and began to turn it over, and sure enough, she was taught to dig out a packet of arsenic under the tight, "It's confiscated, don't bring it again, and don't eat it." ”

She was angry.

She's actually angry?

Zhao Hanjing hid behind the quilt and peeked at the angry face. Feng Ayan's angry appearance was similar to Feng Yan's by a few points, the corners of her lips pursed sternly, and her eyes showed a fierce light - that's right, she was not a kind face in the first place, but Feng Ayan always greeted people with a smiling face, and her apricot eyes were bent, covering most of the white in her pupils, and she was very different from Feng Yan with a cold face when she looked at it on weekdays.

But now she's angry.

He was now sure that Ah Yan had probably been an officer, and that there was an indescribable toughness in her orders, which was even more courageous than the command of the city defense department. Her anger was mixed with anxiety, not because he died and no one would treat her, but because she really felt sorry for him as a person, and really hoped that he could live well. Xiao Langzhong didn't know what to do, he could only try to calm her anger, shrunk his neck and snorted: "Actually, I don't dare to eat it, otherwise I won't take it for a year...... If you are poisoned by arsenic, your stomach will hurt, and I'm afraid it hurts, really. ”

It's true? Feng Ayan twisted the crystal powder in the paper bag, put her fingertips under her nose and sniffed, and then ruthlessly pierced his defense: "Most of the bags in this must be anesthetic, and if you send it down with a bowl of wine, the anesthetic can attack much faster than arsenic." I'm afraid of pain, right? Didn't you figure out how to overcome it? I'm stupid! ”

was seen through the trick, and Zhao Langzhong's confidence became more and more insufficient: "I'm just preparing, not necessarily really ......"

As a result, these words did not go out, but seemed to pour oil on the fire, which caused Feng Ayan to be even more angry: "Who knows when your brain will go down as soon as you twitch, where is there so much!" ”

Xiao Langzhong was silent.

He wasn't trying to prove that he didn't want to die in the first place, he wanted to prove that she didn't care that much about him. It was only out of empathy as a mother and out of human morality that Feng Ayan couldn't see a young man commit suicide - just a few perfunctory words, she was satisfied, and she didn't care what he thought anymore.

But Zhao Langzhong didn't get the result he expected. Is it that she thinks he is very good and a person worth dealing with, and she doesn't want "Zhao Hanjing" to die? Or was her illness so severe that she had aroused the she-wolf instinct and treated him as if he were her own cub? No, she's still sober, she's still sensible, so rational that there's a restraint in her behavior that he doesn't understand.

So this care is really not a distorted and pathological product, but a normal warmth between people?

Human beings are gathered creatures who need solace in communion with their fellow human beings. Zhao Hanjing almost couldn't control himself, he would rather trust Feng Ayan recklessly, and put his life in her hands along with his net worth, and indulge himself to drown in this kind of care, rather than be stripped out of the "crowd" anymore...... But he couldn't believe himself.

He didn't believe he was worthy of care.

Feng Ayan saw that Xiao Zhao Langzhong hung his head and didn't speak, as if he was frightened before, and couldn't help but secretly say "mistake". The promise he had just made was overturned, how would he be taught to trust her in the future? Hurriedly put away her anger, she softened her complexion, and coaxed people with a smile: "I'm sorry, I said before that I wouldn't kill you, I'll ......"

"I don't mean to hear you apologize." Zhao Langzhong interrupted her and asked calmly, "I want to know more than to apologize, obviously you just need me to help you cure your illness, right, why do you care about my life and death in the future?" Aren't you afraid of being killed by me? ”

He knew exactly what he was expecting to hear from her now.

But that's just a luxury.

"Forget it, you don't have to tell me." She didn't reply, but slowly folded back the paper bag containing the poison in her hand, as if thinking about something. But Zhao Hanjing had exhausted his remaining courage, he felt that he had a terrible headache, and he didn't want to think about it anymore, so he simply turned over and faced the wall, planning to sleep first.

But after a breath, Feng Ayan took one of his hands.

"I lost my heart at the age of four, became a brother at the age of twelve, watched my father be killed by thieves at the age of sixteen, and now I have abandoned my father...... Zhao Hanjing, there is nothing harder than my life. You say you're a lone star? Okay, I'll try it with you. ”