There's a saying, "A good start is half the battle." "In interpersonal communication, many times we have to attract the attention of the other party at the beginning, either for work needs or for business cooperation. But in either case, it takes a way to attract the other party, so let's take a look at how the three social classes do in this regard.

High Society

Leave it blank.

In fact, the word "blank" mostly describes calligraphy, we see that many calligraphers are very aware of blank, blank is unfinished, blank is to leave people space for reverie, and if you are good at blank in interpersonal communication, it will have the effect of getting twice the result with half the effort. Let me give you an example: Mrs. Li who refused to see the emperor.

Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty Liu Che is very womanly, although there are many beauties in the harem, but since the death of Mrs. Wang, who was very favored by Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, there has been no one who has been favored by Emperor Wu, Emperor Wu is very sad because of the death of Mrs. Wang, and he is also troubled by the fact that he cannot find a beautiful woman like Mrs. Wang, but fortunately, the court musician Li Yannian is proficient in music and rhythm, and he is quite pleasing to Emperor Wu, and Emperor Wu often takes this pastime to forget his sadness in his spare time.

Li Yannian has a younger sister who is very cute, he has long wanted to recommend his sister to Emperor Wu, but he is suffering from the lack of a suitable time, so he specially composed a song: "There are beautiful women in the north, who are left behind and independent." One look at the city, and then look at the country. Rather than know the city and the country, it is difficult to get a beautiful woman. Emperor Wu listened to it and couldn't help sighing: "How can there be the kind of beauty you sing in the world?" Princess Pingyang next to her heard the meaning of the lyrics, so she said to Emperor Wu: "Your Majesty doesn't know that Li Yannian's little sister is a peerless beauty who captivates the country and the city." When Emperor Wu heard this, he immediately summoned the Li family into the palace, and then he knew that Li Yannian's little sister was not only naturally beautiful, but also beautiful and wise. So Emperor Wu immediately accepted Li as a concubine, and soon Mrs. Li gave birth to a baby boy for Emperor Wu, and Emperor Wu has been even more fond of Mrs. Li since then.

However, there were unforeseen circumstances, and after only a few years of entering the palace, Mrs. Li became ill, and she was terminally ill until she was bedridden. Emperor Wu was very sad about this and went to see her in person. As soon as Mrs. Li saw Emperor Wu coming, she covered her face and said: "The concubine has been sick for a long time, her appearance has been ruined, and Her Majesty is not visible, I hope Your Majesty can take care of my brother after my death." Emperor Wu said, "Madame is critically ill and cannot be cured, why don't you let me see you for the last time?" Mrs. Li still refused, and Emperor Wu said: "If Madame sees me, I will give you a thousand gold, and worship your brother as an official." Mrs. Li said: "If you don't seal it in the emperor, you won't see it at the first time." Emperor Wu said that he must see her, and uncovered the quilt with his hand, Mrs. Li immediately turned around and covered her face with her hand, and let Emperor Wu call again and again, Mrs. Li just hid her face and cried alone, which made Emperor Wu very annoyed, and walked away in anger.

Mrs. Lee's sisters were surprised to see this. After Emperor Wu left, they reproached Mrs. Li: "You want to entrust your brother, it is very easy to meet Your Majesty, why do you have to do this?" Mrs. Li sighed and said, "You don't know, the reason why I didn't see the emperor was precisely to trust my brother." I was born from a humble background, and the reason why he loves me is only because I am beautiful. Whoever uses color to do things, love relaxation when color declines, and love relaxation is gracious. Today I am sick and dying, and if he sees me so haggard, he will be disgusted, but he will not be able to abandon me, how can he take care of my brother after I die? ”

Mrs. Lee died a few days later. The outcome of the matter was not what Mrs. Li expected. Mrs. Li's refusal to see Emperor Wu not only did not anger Emperor Wu, but aroused Emperor Wu's endless thoughts about Mrs. Li, who buried Mrs. Li with the Empress Rite and ordered the painter to paint her image before her death and hang it in Ganquan Palace. Emperor Wu's longing for Mrs. Li is increasing day by day.

The above case is the strategy of blank space, Emperor Wu is lustful, it is because Mrs. Li is beautiful that she loves her, once she loses her beautiful appearance, she will lose her position in Emperor Wu's heart, so instead of giving Emperor Wu a bad impression, it is better to give Emperor Wu a beautiful imagination, so after Mrs. Li died, Emperor Wu specially ordered the painter to paint her most beautiful image, whenever he saw that portrait, it evoked Emperor Wu's infinitely beautiful reverie, as the so-called: "love the house and Wu", Emperor Wu will naturally take care of Mrs. Li's relatives.

In fact, this kind of blank space strategy is ubiquitous, whenever we look up at the starry sky, we always don't pay much attention to those big and shining stars, but like to look at the twinkle stars very much, because those flickering stars are full of mystery and let us reverie to the fullest. In the same way, compared to the vast sky, the stars are just an embellishment, if the stars in the sky are so dense that they cover the sky, each of us will feel breathless, so the reason why the stars are beautiful is because they are very good at leaving blank. The same is true of the world, although the eagle strikes the sky, the fish soars to the shallow bottom, and the ten thousand kinds of frost compete for freedom, but the ten thousand types and the sky are too small compared with the vastness of the sea, but it is precisely because of their insignificance that they have become such a wonderful embellishment, which is precisely because they are good at leaving blank; On the other hand, when we see the arrival of locusts that cover the sky and the sun, we know that there is going to be a locust plague.

So we found that people who can speak will not finish speaking, but give people space to think, which is called blank space; People who can do things generally don't do things absolutely, leaving room for each other, and everyone can have space to interact in the future, which is also called blank space. For example, when we see a beautiful woman smiling at you, you think she is beautiful. But if she keeps smiling at you, she will scare you away; If a person always talks about things to the point, you feel that he is very self-contained, and you are willing to associate with him. But if he gets to the bottom every time, you think he's a very boring person, and you'll be far away from him.

Let me give an analogy: for example, when a teacher gives a lecture, no matter how rich you are, as long as you speak and students don't like to listen, you will be finished. Therefore, the most taboo thing for teachers to teach is to tell students the answers, which not only deprives students of the right to think, but also makes learning boring. Therefore, we see that many excellent teachers always speak in the middle of the speech, and the remaining half allows students to use their brains to think on their own, which can greatly mobilize the enthusiasm of learning, this practice is called blank, this education method is called "heuristic education", only this education model can make students willing to listen to their own speech, in order to educate students who draw inferences from one another, in order to cultivate creative talents, so there is such a sentence in my "Vertical and Horizontal Theory": "Although the teaching is detailed, it is difficult to cultivate talents." Although it is omitted, it is often inferred. ”

If you don't believe it, you can try, and say to your wife tonight: "Let's count these years today, how much money have you spent on me?" How much did I spend you? "She's going to divorce you tomorrow! Say to your friend, "We must make it clear today, how much debt do you owe me?" How much do I owe you? "Your friends will leave you immediately. This is the evil result of not leaving blank, the result of settling accounts between husband and wife is divorce, and the result of settling accounts between friends is to break off relations, the reason why the relationship between husband and wife can be maintained, and friends can still come and go, is because everyone knows how to leave blank, so that there is room for interaction with each other.

Middle class

Keep black.

The way the middle class attracts each other is called "keeping black", they do not have the concept of "blank", because they have always considered problems with themselves as the center, and rarely considered the feelings of others, but they are very persistent in doing their own things. Therefore, people in the middle class always try their best to do their own things perfectly, but ignore the big environment.

Therefore, people in the middle class write in the same format, whether it is on square paper, round paper or fan-shaped paper, and they will not adapt to local conditions, will not teach according to their aptitude, and will not leave appropriate blank space because of the different shapes of the paper.

Therefore, people in the middle class have a characteristic: three sentences do not leave the line. Some electricians tell you about circuits every day, even when you get home, you talk to your wife; Some people who study law talk about law every day, and they never care whether you like to listen to it or not; Those who engage in management talk to you about personnel every day, no matter how annoying you are. This is the ill of the middle class, but the funny thing is that they still think that they are very good at themselves and feel very good. In fact, anyone who is a little smarter knows that as long as a person keeps emphasizing one of his strengths, he is telling others that he is bad elsewhere. So at first glance, people in the middle class will think that he is so powerful! In fact, if you think about it carefully, you will know that he is just that specialty, as long as you take a closer look, you will find that even the specialty that he is proud of every day is actually not very professional, because there is a saying called "play to become a teacher, hard to become a general." "No matter how hard a person studies his major, he must also know some other knowledge, which is to learn with the mentality of "playing", so that he can have great achievements. Therefore, people who study mathematics must also know a little bit of Chinese, otherwise they will not even have the minimum ability to express themselves, and no matter how deep they learn mathematics, they will not be able to pass it on, at most they will be a wasted talent; Those who study philosophy must also know a little bit about sociology, otherwise they will be seriously detached from reality, and they will have to stay in the ivory tower.

It is precisely because of this that the middle class society has done a lot of nondescript things, such as many designer-designed buildings, which look beautiful, but as soon as you go in, you can't find the faucet, and you can't finally find one, and you can't put down the big teacup to catch the water; What's even better, you enter the house at night and want to turn on the light, but after opening the door, you have to run to the opposite wall to turn on the light, and when you press the light, the thief will follow. These are the masterpieces of the middle class, they never consider the practical needs of customers, but consider their own aesthetic needs, but the key is that their aesthetic standards are really not very good, so they make a lot of nondescript freaks. So I really don't understand what kind of genre this aesthetic of the middle class can be abstracted to such a degree? There are also many developers, in order to appear that they are very cultured, any rare words dare to move to the advertisement, people can only go to Xinhua Bookstore to buy a dictionary in order to check that word, but his house has not been sold, Xinhua Bookstore's dictionary has sold a lot, and I don't know if the manager of Xinhua Bookstore should thank him, so as long as you see the developer's advertisement appears in the rare words that you have not seen in eight lifetimes, you know that the manager of Xinhua Bookstore is stealing fun again.

We also see a very interesting phenomenon where a man just says to a woman, "I'm very muscular. The other person will think: this guy is probably simple-minded; One man said to others, "I do the best carpentry work." "Others know: he probably doesn't know anything but carpentry; If a person says, "I'm a professional manager!" The other party knew that he probably wouldn't be able to be president for the rest of his life. So we must not talk to the end, because when you emphasize a point, you will lose a face, which is called no blank space.

Therefore, people in the middle class just don't know how to keep blank and blindly keep black, so they often make self-defeating and make themselves very passive.

Grassroots society

Splash ink.

If people in the middle class are still a little special, then people in the grassroots society don't even pay attention to the cultivation of their specialties. But many people in the grassroots society are very talkative, so at first glance they seem to know everything, everything, but if you ask him a few words that are a little more professional, he will not be able to discuss it. Therefore, people in the grassroots society are more like "splashing ink" in calligraphy, they neither "leave blank" nor "keep black", they often make conclusions with limited knowledge, and they talk about everything without long skills. So in front of all the laymen, they are insiders, but in front of all the insiders, they are all laymen.

In fact, if you look at the salesmen in the grassroots society, you will know that many salesmen dare to say anything, and the drug seller can say that his medicine is a panacea, but if you ask the ingredients of the medicine, he can't answer; The TV seller blows his TV very clearly, but if you ask him how many pixels that TV is, he won't answer. The reason why they dare to speak so much is because they are not responsible, and if something goes wrong, they will all push it to their superiors, so the more you meet people who pretend to know everything, the more careful you must be, because there is no all-rounder in this world, people's energy is limited, if you learn too much, then you can't learn deeply; If you want to go deep into one field, you can't learn too much about other majors, unless you are a genius. That's why there is a sentence in my "Theory of Vertical and Horizontal": "Although there are many skills, they are all superficial learning." Single-mindedness, the achievement of a generation of grandmasters. ”

So at first glance, people in the grassroots society will think that they know a lot, and they seem to be very attractive, but if you really talk a few words, you will know that they are all superficial learning, so we see some people who write on the paper like rain, and the big pen is very bold, you have to stay away, otherwise he will throw the ink on you in excitement, and you will have a job to do.