(30) Cheng Zexin's questioning
Cheng Zexin's question was very sharp, leaving me no room for consideration at all. I tried my best to look her in the eye, trying to focus my mind on the question she was asking me, but no matter how hard I tried, I felt like my mind was blank and there was nothing.
In the end, I could only look at her blankly and shake my head.
"Zexin, if I say that my mind is blank now, do you believe it?"
"I believe, then let me ask the question in a different way, you tell me, have you ever felt like you were abandoned for a moment?"
"Abandonment? No, I didn't, I've never felt like this. I was just...... I just felt strange that I had the feeling that my beloved toy had been snatched away by someone else. But Fu Chengwen is not my toy, it is normal for him to fall in love, and he has the freedom to choose anyone. I don't have any reason to be angry about this, but I'm just not happy. If you ask me why, I can't tell. I don't know if I'm upset that he likes someone else, or if he's hiding something from me. Anyway...... It's a particularly contradictory feeling anyway. ”
My mind was very confused, and the feeling in my heart was so difficult to describe, so I said it with no logic at all. However, Cheng Zexin seemed to understand very well what I was going to express, looked at me seriously, and said to me:
"Do you know Xiaobai, when I knew that you appeared in Yunxiao's life, I felt like this."
I've always been an afterthought, so when Cheng Zexin just finished saying this, I didn't understand why she suddenly brought the topic to Cao Yunxiao, but I soon realized that she just didn't want to say it too bluntly, for fear that I wouldn't be able to accept it.
"No, I don't like Fu Chengwen."
Although Cheng Zexin's sentence was not a question, in fact, she really wanted to ask me this question. And I replied with such firmness that I found it a little unbelievable. Seeing this, Cheng Zexin did not give me any clear definition on this issue, and continued to say to me:
"What I want to tell you today is not only about these things, I just want to tell you that if there is a problem between two people, the best solution is to communicate more. Instead of making yourself uncomfortable by guessing here, you might as well just ask. ”
I knew that Cheng Zexin must have misunderstood my answer, but I really didn't want to explain this question anymore, so I followed her words and said to her:
"I've tried several times, but Fu Chengwen ignored me, I think he just didn't want to tell me."
"So have you ever wondered why he didn't want to talk to you about this?"
I think that Chen Zexin asked me these questions today seemed to be deliberately making things difficult for me, because I couldn't answer any of them at all. But if you think about it carefully, these questions she asked are indeed all the focus of the whole thing, and no matter how you escape it, you have to face it in the end. So I can't wait to take a pen and write down all her problems, so that when I have any problems in the future, I can turn this piece of paper out and recall the decisions I made over and over again according to the questions above.
But now I really don't want to think about the answers to these questions.
Cheng Zexin saw that I was silent for a long time, and did not answer her question, so he simply gave up this conversation between us, got up and prepared to leave.
"Some things are not as complicated as you think, Xiaobai, if you are sure that you really don't like Fu Chengwen, then you don't have to dwell on this issue anymore, besides, some people like Fu Chengwen, and some people like you, you will be separated sooner or later, what are you afraid of."
"Zexin, to be honest, what you said today, I really don't understand anything."
"It's okay if you don't understand, because sooner or later you will understand, and someone else will tell you the answers to these questions. So you don't have to worry too much, take a good rest at home for a day, and then send a message back to Cao Yunxiao. This guy didn't wait for your message all night, and he felt like crazy, and my phone was going to be blown up by him. ”
Now Cheng Zexin, when she mentions Cao Yunxiao, it really seems more and more natural every time, and I even began to wonder if everything that happened before was a story I imagined, because I couldn't see any trace of her once liking Cao Yunxiao from her tone or attitude.
This made a question pop up in my mind, which had been blank.
"Zexin, you have asked me so many questions, then I also want to ask you one, you tell me, do you really have no feelings for Cao Yunxiao now?"
"Really, I'm here to persuade you, why did the problem come back to me in the end?
For the question I raised, Cheng Zexin couldn't help but blame me. I thought she was going to reject me, but I didn't expect him to give me the answer so casually:
"I used to think that I liked Cao Yunxiao because he always brought me a lot of happiness. I needed this kind of happiness, but after he left, I thought about it for a long time, and I realized that the truth of the matter was completely different from what I had imagined. Maybe you're right, I just treat Cao Yunxiao as if it were my own item, so when you appear, I'll feel like I'm going crazy and you've snatched what originally belonged to me. I always thought it was what it was like to love someone, but alas, it wasn't at all, it was just a manifestation of my strong possessiveness. I'm glad I saw this clearly, because I still have a good neighbor like him now. ”
Cheng Zexin spoke a little harshly and esoteric when talking to me for the first time, but unfortunately I was rounded around by her like this, and I never figured out what she said in the middle, only the fact that she didn't like Cao Yunxiao. Cheng Zexin probably didn't expect me to understand, so when she just put on her shoes and turned around to open the door, she turned her back to me and continued to say to me:
"Xiaobai, I am talking to you today, I just hope you can figure out what kind of position Fu Chengwen is in your heart, you don't take habit as a kind of love, this is not good for you and Fu Chengwen. With my example in front of you, you must think clearly. After all...... In fact, there are still people who like you silently, maybe Fu Chengwen also knows that someone is liking you...... "one hundred plating" is a book, and the latest chapter of "Reading Chengwen Claw Book House" is free to read for the first time.