Late January, the 19th, my birthday.

It was already very cold and cold, and the small pond at the school was frozen. Birthdays have never been a particularly popular holiday for me, I don't take the initiative to mention it to others, I don't buy a big cake and cut it in the classroom, like some of my classmates, and give it to everyone, and I don't feel confident that someone will remember my birthday, and I won't look forward to gifts. It's just that when I got up this morning, I suddenly thought of my birthday, and then remembered what Gu Nanxing had said after attending Lin Xi's birthday party before: "On January 19th, I remembered, I don't care if you can't celebrate your birthday, anyway, I'll help you spend it in the future." ”

Then, I actually had a sense of anticipation, although I didn't want to admit it myself.

But Gu Nanxing didn't mention it, in the morning we just said hello as usual, and then memorized the English dictation for the first class, then the math class that was trembling and didn't dare to get distracted at all, and then the Chinese class, the teacher talked about the reading comprehension of the previous exam, and then, the physics class, the teacher was still like that, and the lecture was bland. The morning passed, and during the lunch break, I saw Shen Qing waving to me outside, and I immediately ran out.

Shen Qing looked at me and smiled, looking very gentle.

"What's wrong?" I guessed he was looking for me about studying, so I asked.

He smiled and took out a round bear from behind him and handed it to me. Brown, fluffy, and wearing a small blue sweater, looking cute and cute.

Seeing that I was a little stunned, he stuffed the bear into my arms and said with a smile, "Happy birthday, Aoi." ”

I was stunned for a moment, and then asked a little embarrassedly, "How do you know?" ”

His eyes sparkled and he said, "I just know." Then, before I could speak, he added, "If only you liked it." I'm going back to the classroom, bye-bye. ”

When I walked into the classroom with the bear, the corners of my mouth couldn't help but rise.

And Gu Nanxing started looking at me from the moment I walked out, and he still looked at me until I returned to the classroom and sat down next to him.

"What's wrong?" I couldn't help but ask.

Gu Nanxing frowned, looked at the fluffy little guy in my arms, and asked, "What's this?" ”

"Little bear." I pinched the bear's little paw with one hand and said with a smile.

"Shen Qing gave it?"

"Uh-huh!"

"You'll take it for you?" Gu Nanxing stared at me, looking very serious.

"Hmm......" I muttered for a moment, but didn't speak.

He continued: "Do you think that someone would give you something for nothing? You take it. ”

My mood sank suddenly, what did he say, for no reason, for no reason, what does it mean? It means that he doesn't remember what day it is, even if he said it so seriously, so seriously, so swearing, even if I waited a morning, even if I didn't ask for a gift, just a simple sentence from him to show that he remembered.

But, for no reason, he forgot.

The corners of my mouth curled up shallowly, and I said, "It's not for nothing." Then I lowered my head and began to use my homework to hide the sadness in my heart, Gu Nanxing probably looked at me and didn't want to talk anymore and didn't ask any more.

One afternoon, we fell into this awkward silence.

Even if, we are at the same table.

Even if you can touch each other as soon as you reach out.

Even if, no matter which of us speaks first, we will be reconciled.

However, when we are young, we are always stubborn, and we always feel that if we bow our heads first, we will lose face first.

After the evening self-study, I slowly stuffed things into my schoolbag, Gu Nanxing glanced at me, and finally left. Lin Chuanjin walked to my seat and sighed, "What's wrong with you?" I sniffled and didn't reply.

At the corner of the first floor of the teaching building, I saw a familiar figure.

As soon as Xiao Wen saw me, he walked over, he didn't speak, just stuffed a thin postcard to me, and then turned to leave.

Back in the dormitory, Lin Chuanjin knew that I really wanted someone to talk to now, so he followed me into my dormitory.

I looked at Xiao Wen's postcard, his words are more powerful and chic, there is a feeling of "power through the back of the paper", there are only a few words on the postcard: "Happy birthday, Luokui." "It's not his name, it's about forgetting worries.

After reading it, I only felt sour in my heart.

Lin Chuanjin also came over to take a look, and she suddenly sighed: "Sunflowers are like branches to the sun, and daylilies forget their worries day by day, it is Xiang Zixu's "Partridge Day". I was shocked, and when I heard Lin Chuanjin say this poem, I suddenly woke up, and then, I noticed that the zip code had been filled in, and I took a closer look and found that it was 131420, and my heart burned badly. But I pretended to be haphazard and put the postcard away and put it in a drawer.

"Xiao Jin, you see, even other classes, and even other grades, know about it, but he forgets it." I sighed.

Lin Chuanjin touched my head and said, "Perhaps, he was really too busy, didn't he forget it on purpose." ”

I smiled faintly and said, "You say, should I still hold on?" ”

Lin Chuanjin was silent for a long time and didn't speak, but Liu Ruixi said: "If it's a boy, it doesn't hurt to stick to it." We all looked at her curiously, and she squinted and smiled a little brightly: "Like "Mischievous Kiss"? Didn't Yuan Xiangqin also like Jiang Naoki for a long time? Later, they were finally together. ”

I smiled faintly and said, "I hope so." ”

But, I know very well that I have never had the courage and persistence of Yuan Xiangqin, when I watched it before, I always felt that she was stupid, no matter what, she could persevere, but now, I feel admiration.

Love can bring me happiness, but more importantly, it will be bound by my sensitivity and self-suspicion, I don't have the confidence to think that I am being loved by the person I love, so I often feel sad and often feel that I am hypocritical. But what I do know is that all I need is that person to show this enthusiasm from time to time, so that I can really feel that I am being cared for. But that kind of relationship, even if it is so sweet that it seems to fall into the sugar jar at times, only makes me feel more painful.

This is also the reason why many people would rather be with people who love them than with people they love.

This night, I had insomnia, I don't know how long I lay down, listening to the steady breathing of my roommate, I gently touched my watch, it happened to be 0 o'clock.

My birthday has passed.

Aoi Eroku, happy late birthday.