Cui Yu then turned to look at me, then turned around and lowered his head and pondered for a moment: "Okay, I thought that most of the facts in this world have commonalities, but I forgot that there are individual cases. Xue Hao looked up at Cui Yu, stretched out his hand and patted him, but did not speak.

Cao Ge's eyes were staring at the other side of the sofa, I didn't know what she was thinking at this time. Perhaps, it was because Cui Yu felt sympathy for the predicament in which my mother and I lived, or perhaps it was because he lamented the tragic world of the people around me that my father had infected.

In fact, not only Cao Ge felt helpless about everything now, but also for me, who was ten years old sitting at the dinner table at the time, I was also deeply tired. It's just that I was still young at that time, although I faced many misfortunes and disbelief, but I was still full of hope for the future, I hope that my future can be as I imagined, of course, the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment, this is an indisputable fact that this society has taught us.

Later, someone asked me, how many parts are there in the script of this life? I don't know. In fact, no matter what the theme of the script is, how wonderful the plot is, or what kind of tragic and innocent main structure, you desperately want to change it, change it back and forth, and the final script is your established life.

This is the powerlessness of being born.

Until now, when I recall the way Cui Yu looked back at me, I still feel that even if he knows that the existence of our mother and daughter is a special and alternative life situation in the social phenomenon created by this unethical relationship, he still will not fully understand what money means for people who have no money, especially at the bottom of the society and bearing the not gorgeous and friendly title and identity given by fate, how sad it is for me and my mother to want to live.

However, this kind of inappropriate argument based on points and generalizations, in a certain period of time after learning that his mother was seriously ill, Cui Yu can be regarded as having a new understanding of this ruthless world and ruthless human nature.

After all, real life is the best teacher for people.

After a moment of silence, Cao Qi returned. Cui Yu hurriedly got up: "Big brother! ”

"Cui Yu? When did you come back? I didn't hear your dad mention it, but I was with your dad yesterday. ”

"Hey, you're talking about business together, and I'm not going to talk about it this time, and it's not a topic. Big brother, how are you doing? I heard my dad say, you want to transfer back to Nanjing? ”

After Cao Ge heard this, he hurriedly turned his head: "You want to transfer back to Nanjing?" Are you sure? Elder brother? ”

Cao Qi walked towards the sofa, did not rush to answer Cao Ge's words, but greeted Cui Yu and Xue Hao, and after sitting down, he replied a few words plainly: "Well, there is this plan." ”

"Isn't Shanghai good? How hard did you go to transfer to Shanghai, why did you have to come back? Cao Ge asked puzzled.

"There have been too many things at home recently, and it's just a small one, this funeral is no better than anything else, if I go back to Shanghai, won't there be my mother, you, your second brother and Cancan left at home? Maybe something is going on. ”

"Isn't that time allowed to go back to school?"

"It's not the same everywhere, and a boy is a good boy. Mom is also older, no matter what, Dad is gone, and she is the closest to the older generation. Cao Qi said, lit a cigarette, leaned back, and took a puff. Cao Ge didn't speak again.

The atmosphere of the Cao family has been a little brighter recently, that is, before Cao Qi came back, which makes people feel a little more relaxed. After all, this Cao Qi is the brother of the Cao family, and he is also a character outside, Cui Yu can't be as easy as being a little and unscrupulously idle, I can see from the back that he is a little nervous, and his shoulders are a little upright.

Before I could hear the following, Wu's mother called me and said that the bath water had been put away for me. I moved up to the second floor, but the "ears" remained.

After a period of physical and mental exhaustion, the feeling of soaking in the bathtub is floating. As I was enjoying this rare moment, I suddenly heard a conversation coming from downstairs.

Grandma went downstairs.

"Auntie. That, aunt, my mother's words in the morning are inappropriate, aunt, don't take it to heart. She actually has no malicious intentions, but she is unforgiving in her mouth, and she is like that at home. Cui Yu said timidly.

"Out of the way, out of the way. Hey, how many years have I known your mom and I, who still doesn't know what it looks like? She, it's not just that she is unforgiving, your mother blames me for not marrying Cao Ge to you back then, look, divorce and go back to your parents' house! That's what she meant. ”

"Not really, not really. Aunt, my mother didn't mean that, Cao Ge had an unhappy marriage, and she was still talking at home, saying that she felt sorry for her. Cui Yu explained to her grandmother. I couldn't see it from upstairs, but when I heard the voice, it was drifting in the air, and I must have followed my grandmother and tried to defend my mother.

"Cui Yu, Cui Yu, come and sit. Don't worry about the affairs of the older generation, you can't take care of it. It was Xue Hao who spoke.

"Yes, Cui Yu, you just came back after so many years, and it was the first time you came to my house after you came back, don't be like an outsider, what was the same before. How did you go to Hangzhou for a few years, and it became strange to come to my house? In the past, your aunt Cao and your mother quarreled, and you have never made such a special trip to explain. Cao Qi laughed and teased Cui Yu.

"It's not big brother, I'm not thinking that something so big is going on at home, my mother and I really came to see my aunt, who knows, it's still like this. I'm embarrassed. ”

"Don't be embarrassed. It's okay Cui Yu, just like they said, what was it like before, don't be so restrained. This group of you who grew up from childhood to adulthood, and the only ones who can get together are the three of you, and the rest are either staying abroad and not coming back, or transferred to Beijing and Shenzhen. We are also old, those who are gone, those who are sick, and the opportunities to meet are becoming less and less. You guys, just take advantage of your youth and have fun together. Grandma sighed twice as she said this.

Yes. I still remember that when I first came to Cao's house with my mother, I thought my grandmother was only in her fifties, and she looked very young at that time. After living in the Cao family, I learned that my grandmother was not only in poor health, but there were too many worries hidden behind the glamorous Cao family. I don't know if it's because we live together every day, or if the reality is like this, but my grandmother is really an old man, an old man with real feet.

However, I didn't know much about my grandmother's life when she was younger, and I didn't hear her talk about it. I don't know if she was at the age of my mother, father, Aunt Qin, and even Cao Qi and Cao Ge, whether she was depressed about life, and if so, how did she survive those sleepless days and nights?

I once spent a week thinking about it, and I thought it was very contradictory.

If Grandma's youth had been smooth and smooth, she should have felt heartache and anxiety for these children who had suffered so much, but she did not.

If she wasted her youth in the same way, then she should empathize with the living conditions of these children, and as a result, she didn't either.

As a woman who has lived half her life, and a woman who has seen the world and can distinguish between right and wrong, she should know what irreversible and devastating disaster her connivance and indulgence have for this relatives who are inextricably related to her, but she ignores it.

She recites sutras and reiterates Buddha almost every day, is she using a popular word to face the impermanence of the world? Is it Buddha?

Perhaps. But after all, there is a decades gap between her living environment and the present, and she does not understand that the so-called Buddhist outlook on life is based on the efforts of subjective consciousness, the permission of objective factors, and the correct three views.

However, grandma's Buddhism, the prerequisites, do not have any of them.

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Sogou