When Cao Cancan said these words, his tone was flat and slow. I can tell from the slightly raised corners of her mouth that she is also immersed in the beauty of memories, although those memories are full of too much bitterness and pain along the way, and they have also experienced complex mood changes, but in the end, it leaves only beauty to people, and that is enough.

When Cao Cancan mentioned the Cao family's chaos, I suddenly asked: "I, I want to ask, if I shouldn't ask." ”

Cao Cancan looked up at me: "You ask, if there is anything you shouldn't ask now, it's already like this." The current Cao family, digging three feet into the ground, has no secrets. ”

"You've always known it, Zhang Jing.." Before I could finish my sentence, Cao Cancan moved to my bedside. She leaned against my bedside and glanced back out the window, "I know what you're asking." I've always known that, but at the beginning, I was young and didn't understand some things between men and women. Later, my mom and dad would fight a lot, and nine out of 10 times it was about her. Later, slowly, as I grew older, I naturally understood more things. In the same way, if you taste it in your heart, you will also know a rough idea. However, I never pointed the finger at Zhang Jing. You know why? When Cao Cancan said this, I thought back to the past, and it seemed to be true. No matter how hysterical or righteous indignation she was, she never seemed to directly question the people involved in some unbelievable questions.

Cao Cancan sighed softly: "My mother taught me a little bit since I was a child, she told me when I was a few years old, I can't remember clearly, but the content of the words is getting more and more solid." I listened to her all the time and did a great job. My mom told me that if you think that what you say or don't say, do or don't do, will only make the whole thing or person more complicated and won't solve anything, then learn to shut up. Just take care of yourself. To this day, I still think that what my mother told me was very true. So, I never took care of what was going on between them, not between the three of them, to be exact. I heard that I was a very obedient child until I was five years old, but when I got older, I suddenly rebelled and became intolerant of sand. When I was a teenager, once, my family was still in trouble because of this incident. Although they deliberately avoided me, I was not a fool under my nose every day. That time, I did feel the urge to take care of it, but in the end I resisted it. At that time, I told myself that after all, it was a matter of the previous life, and it was useless to talk about it. But seriously, there is really nothing between my dad and Zhang Jing, to put it bluntly, isn't it that my dad can't let her go, and Zhang Jing chose my uncle's business for money and interests, in fact, it's as simple as that. It's just that my dad is stupid, if he is smart enough, if he is kind to my mother, the entire Cao family will not be like this. My mom, it won't be without it. ”

After Cao Cancan finished speaking, he lowered his head and was silent for a long time, and I didn't know what to take. After a moment, she looked up at me, "I know what you're thinking. ”

"What do I think?"

"I guess you're wondering if I'll ever forgive my dad someday?" She chuckled softly again: "My dad is also your dad, it seems like the first time I've said this, it sounds very awkward." What kind of person he is, I think you should be able to know a little bit better. I don't really know if this thing will disappear with time, but even if one day I don't hate him anymore, I still can't live in my heart, he didn't treat my mother badly and caused my mother to choose to die. Cao Cancan said this, and sighed again: "Don't talk about me." You're leaving, and we'll have less and less time to see each other in the future. I hope that when you go to college, you will learn to control your temper in that environment. ”

I smiled, "I'm much better now. ”

"It's not enough. I'm not asking you to go back to the way you were, but to let you not live with hatred. In this world, there are too many sharp people, and too many people are trying their best to cut off the thorns that are arrogant, so when you learn to restrain yourself, you are protecting yourself. You may not understand what I say, but in fact, it is not a contradiction. You are like me, although I have hatred in my heart, but I will never live with hatred. Hate is hate, life is life, love is love, they are not the same, and they cannot coexist. So, you have to strip hatred from your life and don't get confused. Otherwise, you'll be super tired. ”

I nodded, looked at the ground in front of my eyes, and muttered quietly, "It's a little difficult." She patted me on the shoulder: "Take your time." It's better to move forward than to stand still. ”

I talked to Cao Cancan late that day, and finally, when she was about to close the door and go out, she suddenly turned around: "Your temperament has changed, is it related to your mother?" I nodded, thought for a moment, and shook my head again.

"You're trying to tell me, too, isn't it?" I raised my head to meet Cao Cancan's gaze. There was only a small gap in the door at that time, and Cao Cancan's face was already hidden behind the door, but her voice came in from outside the door: "You have to remember, it's all over, really, it's all over." ”

That night, I lay in bed, thinking about Cao Cancan's words during the day, and looked at the old plane tree outside the window. In fact, even if she didn't say that to me, I seemed to feel that after tossing and turning for thirteen times, the hatred in my heart seemed to have faded a little, and it was not as strong as before. It's like when I'm about to say goodbye to my youth, and youth has taken away a little hatred and grief with me.

I'm not sure what is the reason for the disappearance of this hatred, perhaps, because of the length of time? Or is it because of my upbringing? Or, now that I have grown up, I have seen my family members from young to old, from sharp to warm, and they have also undergone a transformation in my life throughout my youth. Perhaps, there are various reasons that make me swim against the current in the transition period of life.

I seem to have found what I was looking for in the coming autumn again, the shadow of Cao Muxi before.

It's finally time for me to say goodbye to the old sycamore tree outside the window.

I thank him for being with me for so many years,

Thank you for accompanying me through the wind and rain of these years,

Thank Him for witnessing the pains and sorrows of my youth,

Thank you for standing on the other side of my soul, looking across the sea and the court,

Thank you to him for witnessing the panic, struggle, and dazzling splendor of my youth.

Season after season, between ups and downs, he and I grew up and grew old together. He is not only like an old friend of mine, but also like another shadow of me, we have walked through this time of the Cao family together, experienced life and death, and experienced many human tests.

In every leaf he hung on the branches, there were also thoughts and secrets that I did not know. The branches of the sycamore are intricately circling, just like the feelings and grievances that I have been in the Cao family for so many years, cutting out the mess.

Suddenly, I saw Aunt Qin, Zhang Jing, Mother, Grandma, and Cao Qi on the tree. They are still the most beautiful gestures among the mediocre people in my years.

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