Preface – Words written at the front of the article

Author's own statement: a very vague memory, gray sky, the kind of dim weather without a rainbow, I looked out of the window with my eyes blankly, the sky was drizzling, the window had gradually blurred, the water vapor formed the shape of a flower on the window, I sat in a dark corner by the window, the light could only shine on the upper body, transmitted through, leaving a shadow, leaning back against the wooden pattern chair, facing the frame, I looked at it obsessively, the frame inlaid with flower patterns was very beautiful, very bright, in the dark I hesitated against it, The picture in the middle had faded, the face remained the same, and I began to meditate on her appearance, closing my eyes, and trying my best to recall everything about her, her smile, her back, but it was very pale and weak......

Biting the barrel of the pen for a while, touching my scalp with the tip of the pen for a while, but recalling just a few simple pictures, suddenly I began to cry slowly against the frame, for no reason, the crying without a sound made my body tremble, and I moved my shoulders slightly, my hand still touched her face, and my eyes began to blur, the tears condensed, bit by bit, when the crystal clear tears fell, she suddenly smiled in the frame, smiled very sweetly, rainbow-like smile, but unfortunately I didn't see the rainbow today, I looked out the window, The dust of the balcony accumulated layer after layer, my vision was blurred, just looking quietly, a little rough hands touched the photo, gradually, the photo also had tears, not hers, I sprinkled it, her face was like a blooming rose, tears slid down the lens, and finally merged in one point. That point began to magnify, but it never flowed out of the frame, it couldn't get past her shackles, and only tears were the best relief.

When I wanted to write this story, I began to wander, often walking around my small room, my eyes were glazed, like a mummy without consciousness, from time to time I looked at her in the frame, she is the person I want to love with my life, in order not to let her disappear in my memory, I want to write something to remember her, remember the innocent smile, just to be able to think of her often, this is my initial idea, but then it was not like this, there was a deviation of feelings, I began to take life seriously, From time to time, the mind flashes with a lot of strange thoughts, which are wonderful, ephemeral thoughts, which sometimes flash at the speed of light, which are ephemeral inspirations.

I began to think about how to write, what kind of title to use, and which role to design, I used to have too many obstacles to words, and I couldn't even express a very simple thing clearly, just like speaking by myself, I often got stuck, and I couldn't express my true thoughts. Elementary school essays are about old-fashioned topics, and middle schools are forced to write standardized test-taking essays with almost no personal feelings, and later the name is better, two words, innovation, in the face of quality education, change outdated ideas, and advocate innovative essays. But I don't understand any of this, and I can't innovate without reality. I just want to write plain stories, stories that happen in the depths of memory.

In order to write a good article, I meditated for many days, but I didn't have a clue, and I still didn't know what name to choose, but I only knew that this was the feeling of my heart, especially the moving from my heart, remembering what I thought, did, thought and did. Record the emotional path of growth.

When it is integrated into the novel, it has vitality, and it continues to depict landscapes that should not be forgotten, even if it is just a lonely leaf falling and the bell ringing, it is the inspiration for creation, I am constantly looking for the footprints behind it, the feeling of deep accumulation of the earth, and gradually the dusty day. It was a youthful time, often having to overcome some chaotic moods and emotional fluctuations.

There are too many temptations in reality, to be honest, reality and unreality are just a shadow, the important thing is how you look at what is happening in front of you, after thinking about it for a while, I began to reflect, began to take life seriously, see the road in front of me, think about a moment of life wonderful, a moment of gloom, a moment of melancholy, a moment of loneliness, what I mean by a moment of wonder is a moment that can be taken with a camera, that flickering light, that unchanged color, that quiet waiting, the feeling that can be remembered, It is not just the emotional problem that erupts in an instant, but the coming of pain, the beginning of entanglement. Because a moment of excitement is too short, and it can even be quickly forgotten.

I was looking for memories in the text, and when I thought of this, I suddenly remembered her, and I began to think about the temptation of wandering in life, and I wished that I had a dark and quiet corner to slowly reverie and write, facing the wall, facing the light, and facing my own shadow, slowly sorting out the messy and broken mood. Later, it was not only these that "tempted" me, people always have to experience growth, and growth always brings troubles, such troubles are everywhere, and I record such depressive emotions. To the end tempted my empty heart and knew that I should put words into words about this wonderful change.

In the past, as long as there was a quiet corner, a table, a piece of paper, a pen, a cup of tea, a lone lamp was my favorite, I liked to enjoy the inspiration brought by the darkness, I like to write my feelings in the gray dim corner, in different corners of the table, change different teas, use different sizes of paper, with different brightness of lights, I am very sensitive to light, but what remains the same is that there is still a frame of her sweet smile next to me. She still hasn't changed, and I'm starting to grow slowly, painful, lost.

Looking at her, I thought of a lot of things about love entanglements and temptations of desire, and I began to look for temptation everywhere, looking around, looking in corners, looking in my mind, looking in my body, but then I was tempted by two ordinary women.