(If you don't want to read it or new readers skip it, just delete it in a few days.) ）

It's Christmas.

I wanted to start before midnight and chose to start on a holiday, which is also my birthday.

It's a pity that when the bell rang, he was a year older, and he still didn't cheer up.

It's my fault to talk about the update a while ago and accept all the criticism.

You should not have been promised and then quietly broken off without any notice or explanation.

I should give you an explanation.

How to say, a while ago, there was actually an elderly person in the family who was sick, and I have become a squatter at home, so the main thing is that I go to the hospital to take care of it.

But frankly, it's not completely timeless.

For example, in the blank hours of sitting next to the hospital bed, before going home from a shift change.

But......

Even if you take out your phone and computer, you really can't write a word.

Maybe it's because of the oppressive atmosphere in the hospital, or maybe it's because of sadness and uneasiness.

Perhaps, I don't know how to explain to the old man to give up the iron rice bowl to choose one...... At least it's an incomprehensible job for their age.

And I haven't achieved anything to make her feel at ease, and even after working full-time, my health, income, etc. are much worse.

There is also this "new book", to be honest, it is not good, and it is far inferior to the previous one, even if it is still the story of Yan Yan and his predecessors.

Perhaps it was the fulfillment of the editor's fears at the time.

Or maybe I'm starting to write about it.

I became more and more suspicious of myself, and once I doubted myself, I couldn't write at all.

And the other day...... Anyway, the escort business is over.

I was getting more and more depressed, but I really thought about giving up and continuing to find a stable job.

But the new year is here, and the one-year period is almost halfway through, thinking about the opportunity that I fought for at the beginning, I am still unwilling.

And you guys......

I know there are still people waiting for me at the bottom of the pit, even if it's not much, but I can't bear it.

As well as Yan Yan and his predecessors, Tilt and Junting......

Their story isn't over yet.

So let's try to cheer up, and continue with the two books at hand.

Even if the probability of coming back after such a long break is actually very small, I still want to struggle hopelessly.

Even if it doesn't work out in the end, then give them a happy ending and give me an explanation of what I once bet on.

Finally, I promise that it won't disappear for no reason, and I will try to resume stable updates tomorrow.

(In fact, every time I didn't say goodbye in the past, I still had a memory.) If that happens, I'll say goodbye to you officially. ）

——On December 26, 2018, Yun Sansan wrote in the early morning.