When Chen Qiong got up to go to the toilet at night, she saw several missed calls from Zhang Xiaomao at ten o'clock, and she probably didn't answer it, so she sent WeChat, and the WeChat content was probably that the old man who took her came back tonight and was going to test her tomorrow.

Chen Qiong pressed off the screen of her mobile phone, she was no longer sleepy when she was lying on the bed, and the wind outside still had the posture of pulling out trees, and she began to feel a little homesick.

The strange thing is that compared to her father Chen Jishan, who grew up with her, she thinks more about her mother Li Chunhua, who has always stayed in Dunhuang, and who has never given her anything but life.

A heavy sigh came, and Chen Qiong's eyes were full of incomprehension.

Since she can remember, her mother Li Chunhua has been staying in Dunhuang, even her birth was in Dunhuang, and she was sent to Suzhou after the full moon, and Li Chunhua basically only returns to Suzhou once every two years, or even longer.

At the age of twenty-five, she has never experienced a complete mother's love, and she doesn't know what a mother is.

She had only her father in her life.

When I was hungry, my father ended the performance from the theater, hurried home and hurriedly cooked, when I was young, I practiced dancing until I cried, my father sang and coaxed, and the female physiological knowledge after menstruation was taught by my father, and the careful thinking with a crush was the correct guidance of my father, and my father bought her the first lipstick in her life when she was in adolescence, and she was only congratulated by her father when she was admitted to the Northern Dance.

The eldest mother said that she had just been sent back to Suzhou for a full moon, because she had no milk to drink, so she cried all day and all night, crying until she was silent, crying until her throat was bloody, and her father anxiously asked around where there was a woman who had just given birth, and begged people to give her a mouthful of milk to drink.

When she was eight years old, when she went back to the old house and saw that her cousin was loved by her mother, nagged by her mother, and knitted sweaters by her mother, she began to resist everything given by her father Chen Jishan.

They didn't understand, all she wanted was her mother's company, not a sweater that traveled thousands of miles.

But in the past 25 years, it is no surprise that only her father has accompanied her all the way to grow up, accompanied her with all her joys, sorrows, and glory valleys.

Chen Qiong closed her eyes, her breathing gradually became heavier, her heart was very astringent, her eyes were very sour, and the tails of her eyes were moist.

Because of her mother, she hated this place, and finally came to this place, or because of her mother.

Li Chunhua, who was close to the age of sixtieth, became respiratory failure due to bronchitis last year, and under the persuasion of everyone, he had to leave Dunhuang, where he had stayed for nearly 40 years, and went to Shanghai for hospitalization, including Chen Qiong, who had flown to Lanzhou City Hospital to visit and persuade him in person.

Chen Qiong found the best ward for Li Chunhua in Shanghai Renji Hospital in advance, and hired the best nurse, but in the end, Li Chunhua insisted on being discharged back to Dunhuang after being admitted to the hospital until her condition was stable, but her serious condition no longer supported her to go there, so Chen Jishan took Li Chunhua, who was unwilling to be hospitalized again, back to his hometown Suzhou to take care of him.

Chen Qiong, who was on an overseas tour, learned that it was several months later when she came back, and when she returned to Suzhou, she wanted Li Chunhua to return to Shanghai for treatment, but she got Li Chunhua's smile and words: "Little Niangyu, I heard that you were invited to perform your play "Dunhuang" at the opening ceremony of the International Silk Road Exchange Conference next year. ”

"My dad told you?" Chen Qiong also didn't have long been notified of this matter, but she would tell Chen Jishan everything as soon as possible, a habit she had developed over the years, and she always hoped to be praised by her parents when she got a little achievement when she was a child, she could only tell her father at that time, every time she called, Li Chunhua said that she didn't have time, and she didn't want to fight if she got too much "no time".

Li Chunhua pushed his glasses, put down the report he was writing in his hand, and sighed: "Your "Dunhuang" is actually not very good, I said that it is very ugly, just the shell of Dunhuang dance, there is no soul of Dunhuang in it, do you think things without soul will look good?" Dunhuang art is a strong ink on the Silk Road, laymen see the lively, insiders look at the doorway, the scholars who study Dunhuang are all university questions, you can't lose face in that kind of international exchange meeting. ”

"Or when you have time, take the time to go to Dunhuang to see for yourself, and I guarantee that you don't want to come back after seeing it." When it comes to Dunhuang, Li Chunhua can't hide his joy and affection, "My colleagues in Dunhuang can..."

Chen Qiong couldn't tell what she felt at that moment, she just felt that the mother image she had finally piled up fell to the ground again, she had been dancing desperately all these years, in addition to love, she still wanted Li Chunhua to pay more attention to her, and in the end she couldn't get the praise she wanted, and her most proud masterpiece was denied first, and there was no room for denial.

Or four years later, even the denial was so long late, and the maternal love she wanted probably would never come.

"My dad asked me to set aside time to spend more time with you, and I also want to have a deep relationship with your mother and daughter, because this is also my long-standing wish, so I took annual leave to come back after this tour." Chen Qiong said extremely calmly, just like a child waiting for candy who has waited until he doesn't like candy, afraid of tooth decay, "But you will always only have that Dunhuang in your heart, you never need me and my dad, you don't need this family." ”

The sound of slamming the door sounded suddenly, Chen Qiong never came back, the most hated place in her life was the Dunhuang that took away her mother and maternal love, the word "Dunhuang" is like a thorn in the heart, who can't move half a minute, she will hurt for more than 20 years if she moves.

Two months later, Li Chunhua died in Suzhou due to ineffective treatment of respiratory failure, Chen Qiong ended her work ahead of schedule, rushed back to deal with the aftermath as soon as possible, and then locked herself in the room and languished for several days before she got up, and then went non-stop to carry out the national tour of "Taihang Road", after the tour, she had to rehearse for the opening ceremony of the exchange meeting half a year later.

Because of Li Chunhua's words, she has not been able to enter the best state, even if everyone says that she dances more perfectly and dances more maturely than four years ago, but she just feels that she can't dance well, and she can't dance anywhere.

A sense of useless defeat filled her body and mind, and squatting in the corner of the dance studio, hanging her head and biting her fingers and sobbing was the norm for her during that time.

After repeatedly watching the video of dancing "Dunhuang" countless times, Chen Qiong, who is still in the abyss, does not know what makes Li Chunhua dissatisfied, and says that there is no positive comment, although Li Chunhua is not a major in dance, but it is indeed a master of Dunhuang art, under the double pressure of anxiety and self-denial, she almost collapsed her spirit and had to propose to her teacher Xu Luhua the decision to come to Dunhuang to collect style.

With the help of Xu Luhua, and Chen Qiong was going to dance the opening ceremony of the first International Silk Road Exchange Conference, and she was also promoting Dunhuang art, so the local provincial party committee came forward and transferred her to the Dunhuang Academy for a short period of work

Sometimes a lot of things are very funny, she hates Dunhuang, but she became famous because of Dunhuang, and finally fell down because of Dunhuang.

Success is also Dunhuang, defeat is also Dunhuang.

She was unwilling in her heart.

Unwilling to lose all her efforts in this one Dunhuang, because even Xu Luhua, the teacher who taught her to dance since childhood, said that she lost the charm of "barbarian" when she danced "Dunhuang" again this time, and became a soulless "barbarian", she shook her head in disappointment and said that she couldn't get on stage, so she just wanted to come and see this time... Li Chunhua used to deny what her Dunhuang soul was.

What the hell is it?