Approaching the Chinese New Year, the city of Beijing is empty, and people who come to this city to work hard, young, old, single, and married, have boarded the train or plane homecoming with large bags and small bags in a festive atmosphere of reunion and festivity. In addition to Beijingers, there must be a group of ———— homeless people like her.

The family called, and the relatives who refused to take her in after her father's death now recalls with enthusiasm how close the two families were.

She is not the prime minister who can hold the boat in her belly, and she will never forget the way her relatives drove her out with an embarrassed face. After sending off her relatives, it was only early in the morning, and her mood became very bad.

Picking up her scarf and coat, she planned to go out for a walk.

On the morning of the thirtieth day of the Chinese New Year's Eve, the road is not empty, and every household rushes to the last morning before the store and supermarket closes to comprador the ingredients needed for the New Year.

The weather was dry and cold, Chi An shrunk his neck, not wanting to continue shopping on the road, so he got into a supermarket in the community, not as clean and luxurious as Wal-Mart, but more life, the smell of fish and vegetables was mixed together, and the child shouted "Grandma, I want to eat this." The boss sorted out the Spring Festival couplets, picked them up and shook them, and fell to the ground with Venus.

Chi An stopped in front of the table where the Spring Festival couplets were placed, touched a pair casually, and picked up four small blessing words, the boss was an uncle in his fifties, and talked to her: "People have to pick words when they buy Spring Festival couplets, why don't you look at the little girl?" ”

Chi An replied: "If you don't look at it, there will be surprises, anyway, it's all good words, go home and open it to see, yo, it's like this, isn't it very happy." ”

The uncle nodded, "Hey, kid now, it's really interesting." ”

Celery, leeks, cabbage, lettuce, shiitake mushrooms, pork belly, dumpling wrappers...... Chi An plans to make a few dumplings by himself for the occasion and cook a hot pot.

When the checkout went out, the boss helped her wrap the Spring Festival couplets and put two pieces of colored paper into it, "Send you two gadgets, take scissors and cut them according to the picture, and it will become a window flower." ”

Chi An chuckled in his heart when he heard the "window flower", but he nodded politely: "Thank you, uncle, I wish you a happy New Year in advance." ”

When she got home, Chi An boiled the paste with flour, pasted Spring Festival couplets on both sides of her small courtyard door, and two small blessing characters were sticky to the face of the door, like a child's frozen red face, "her home" finally had a bit of New Year's flavor.

The other two little blessing characters, one on the refrigerator and one on the bedside, so that she can often see this red elf.

There was still a sticker left in the bag, Chi An hesitated, but still took out the scissors and slowly cut out a flower along the drawn pattern.

In fact, her hands are very skillful, even if no one teaches her, Chi An, who was seven years old at the time, also cut out a more exquisite window flower according to the appearance given by Wang Jiayi. She didn't dare to mention the window grille to her mother, so she had to keep it carefully close to the diary. She was very attentive and had a satisfied smile on her face.

Until the smile was broken by the mother's scolding: "What are you doing?" Show me. ”

Koikean replied timidly: "Window flowers." ”

"Window grilles? No wonder the teacher called to say that your grades had regressed, and I was unlucky to follow you, listen to that woman's yin and yang weirdness! Can't you fight for it? ”

Xiao Chi'an's eyes gradually filled with tears, and she suddenly mustered up the courage to cry and shouted to her mother: "Obviously, if you don't go to the parent-teacher conference, the teacher will call you!" The parents of the whole class were there! Only you didn't come! They know you're only going to gamble money every day! I hate even looking at me! Obviously you haven't been a good mother, what qualifications do you have to ask me! ”

Of course, this is all the imagination of seven-year-old Koike An. In her imagination, she had practiced this line thousands of times, but unfortunately she never had the courage to say it to her mother.

Koike Ann lowered his head as usual and apologized, "I'm sorry. ”

Mom rubbed the window flowers and still didn't understand her hatred, and dropped a sentence: "Like your father, a stuffy gourd, the more you look at it, the more angry it becomes." "Get up and leave.

Koikean picked up the window flower that was casually thrown on the ground by his mother, squatted on the ground for a long time and didn't stand up, tears hitting the ground one by one.

Chi An's tears fell uncontrollably, she looked at the window flower in her hand that was unconsciously crumpled by her, closed her eyes and wanted to clear the unhappiness from her mind, but the wave of memories came up wave after wave.

"Why is Chi An crying? You said she again? "It's Daddy's voice.

"She made a mistake, I can't talk about her yet?"

"Chinese New Year, why are you so angry!"

"Am I angry? I'm not as angry as you, I come back once a year and a half, and everyone can make money outside, what about you? It's like inviting a guest back empty-handed, and the children don't know you! Why didn't you die out there? ”

"Luo Fengxia, don't be embarrassed!"

"You have the ability to kill me today!"

Men's yelling and women's cries followed.

Her mother is lazy and loves to gamble, and her specialty is scolding and loud voice;

Her father, who is silent and gentle, works outside the home all year round, and occasionally abuses his wife.

More punctual than the Spring Festival Gala, probably only their family's Chinese New Year's Eve chickens and dogs jumped.

Chi An saw seven-year-old Chi An slamming the door of the room tightly, but he still couldn't stop the beating and scolding that penetrated his ears. Koikean sat down with his back against the door, crying quietly, tearing the window grille to pieces with trembling hands, while tearing up the window grille: "I don't want the window grille, I will study hard, please stop fighting, please do well......"

Chi An sat on the floor crying, caught up in memories and couldn't extricate herself, she hugged a small ball of window flowers, like a desperate horse, wailing, crying and suffering so much that she wanted to die immediately, until it was dark in front of her eyes, and she fell asleep.

——

When I woke up, it was five o'clock in the afternoon.

Chi An was so irritable that she opened the drawer, found two pills, and swallowed them raw without drinking water, but the bitterness and choking brought her a hint of pleasure in torturing herself.

Chi An came to the kitchen, washed and chopped vegetables, chopped some stuffing and began to make dumplings.

By the time the Spring Festival Gala opened, Chi'an's hot pot had also been boiled.

She sat down at the table with a blank face, picked up a plate of vegetables and poured it into the pot, followed by shiitake mushrooms, then crispy pork...... I poured it until the soup was about to overflow.

Still idle, picking up the soup spoon and poking it around in the pot, Chi An's expression became more and more impatient, "It's really slow, it's really slow." ”

Look up at the TV, it's as spectacular as ever.

Chi An didn't have anything to say, snorted coldly, and watched the Spring Festival Gala with his arms crossed.

The sketch responded to the "two-child policy", and the family ushered in a second child but ignored the boss, which generated a string of jokes. As the characters came on the stage one after another, the misunderstanding deepened round after round, Chi An's expression became more and more impatient, she got up irritably and wanted to do something, walking around, the hot pot boiled and rose to the table, she cursed and lowered her head to clean up, and the woman in the sketch raised her voice and shouted: "Girl, Mom is sorry for you!" Chi An slammed his hand and flipped the boiling hot pot to the ground.

"I don't need you to be sorry for me!" Chi An shouted hoarsely at the ground, "I'd rather not be born by you!" ”

"I'll never forgive you!"

"I won't be happy, and neither will you! It's all retribution! You deserve it! ”

The violent mood swings made Chi An gasp for breath, and she realized that something was wrong with her, and her expression gradually showed a little helplessness. There was a fire in her heart, and it burned her chest so violently that it pained her like death, and made her want to scream, to destroy everything.

Ji An picked up the scissors that had been thrown on the ground, and looked at the sharp blades in fascination with the light, the expression on his face becoming more and more confused......

"When you ......" Chi An's mobile phone suddenly rang, it was "When you", which was released in the first year of Windmill's debut and when he was still unknown.

Chi An took the scissors, was stunned for two seconds, and finally woke up from the frenzy, she picked up the phone, and there was Wei Heguang's voice on the other side: "Hi, Chi An." ”

“…… Hi. ”

"I wanted to send a message saying Happy New Year, but I still think it makes more sense to call."

Chi An was stunned, as if his soul had been emptied, and he still couldn't come back to his senses.

"Chi An?"

“…… Ahh ”

"What are you doing, are you busy?"

"It's fine."

"Hmm...... Happy New Year. ”

Chi An was still sitting on the ground, holding the phone in her left hand and scissors in her right hand, in front of her was the hot pot soup that she had knocked over and spilled all over the ground, she was silent for a long time, and finally said:

“…… Happy New Year. ”