There are still two days left before the final exam, but because of my illness, the cerebral blood supply is insufficient and I need to recuperate, and I have been lying at home for more than two days, in the bed in my bedroom. In bed, I don't have any other time to get out of bed except when I go to the toilet and eat, but I don't have any other time to get out of bed!

I'm really too lazy to die, I don't know how to say it, anyway, at that time, I could lie down in bed and sleep, and I would never wake up. To be honest, I haven't thought about that final exam since I fainted. I feel like it's too small compared to my health.

I don't know when I started to care more and more about my body. Maybe it's because of Li Xinyang? Anyway, I remember that the most I said after waking up in the past few days was that I couldn't let myself become weaker, after all, I want to have a healthy body and spend it with Li Xinyang in the future.

I want to spend the rest of my life with the people I care about the most. No matter who lives or dies with me and the person I love, or who gets old first, I am willing to accompany the person I love. But if God is willing to give me a chance, I would like the person I love to grow old like me, and I don't want him to spend his old age alone. Even if you don't have any family fun, you have to be happy!

What's the use of thinking about this? I think about the person I care about, the person I love, but does he care about me? I don't know, and I don't want to know. It's not that I don't really want to know, I'm just afraid, after I know, he doesn't really care about me, so it's better not to know, if I don't know the answer in his heart, I may still be able to deceive myself, but once I know, I can't deceive myself anymore.

It's not that you can't deceive yourself, in fact, you don't need to ask me to know, the answer is already obvious. If I cared, maybe I wouldn't have thought about it so hard! But if I don't care anymore, I feel a little bit back, I'm a little bit uncomfortable, or I don't know how to face that reality?

The people I like, the people I care about, I will care for the rest of my life. I'm an old man, and I like to love someone I love for a long, long time. No matter what happens in the future, no matter how much the world changes. I can all swear that I will always care about you, like you, and I can.

Li Xinyang, when will you come back? You're talking about this year's pre-Christmas days. It's already summer in July, and I don't know if it's hot there, but if it's hot, you must take care of yourself! Be careful to reduce your clothes and don't catch a cold! Forget it, I've thought of it all here, and I'm going to talk about something else. I'm still stepping out of bed, sitting down next to my bag, narrating, and writing in a journal!

In my diary, I wrote:

Today, I made a special decision. I decided to keep this journal as well. I'm going to continue to keep track of my moods, the bits and pieces of my life, and the daily routines that I think of every time I think of you.

Actually, in the past few days, I have fainted again, and it is the same symptom as last time, and my cerebral blood supply is insufficient. I don't know what's going on, but I'm actually trying to revise and review the final exam at the end of the semester of high school, because this exam is to register the results on my graduation certificate.

I don't know how to put it, but when I woke up that time, I felt very uncomfortable in my heart. Well, when I woke up, I saw my mom crying very loudly next to me.

At that moment, I seemed to have grown up all of a sudden, and my heart suddenly became very painful, and my mother, who I cared about the most, cried very miserably because she felt sorry for me. It was an unspeakable injury, silently leaving a deep scar in my heart.

I really didn't know what to do, and at that moment, I was suddenly overwhelmed. Why do I get this disease, and why do I have this way! I want to be a normal person, too! I want to live a healthy life, I want to be a person who is not distressed by my mother and father!

Li Xinyang, do you know? When I watched the two of them cry, or secretly cry behind my back, I felt sorry for them. I'm really too unfilial, I really don't miss them anymore. Why, why did I get this disease?

I thought that one day I would be cured, but when would that day come? I can't guess, I can't even control my own future. I just want to be my true self, is it so hard?

Li Xinyang, sometimes I really envy you! You are so happy, you have a healthy body, you have an enviable life experience. I want to be like you, too!

Actually, there are some things that I said in the last letter I wrote to you, but you know what, there are some things that I can write in the letter, but I must not write them in my diary. Because I'm not sure if anyone else has read my diary. I'm unlocked, because I think people need that to believe.

I want to say, I miss you again today. Today is the 13th of July, and Christmas is a few days away. You've said you'll be back before Christmas, so I'm already counting down. If you don't come back early, then I guess you'll be back on Christmas Eve.

Honestly, I'm going to get you a little Christmas present right now. Anyway, I've already chosen how to make the peace fruit to be wrapped on Christmas Eve. RT-Mart apples, I have secretly selected the varieties, and I will wait for December 23rd to go to RT-Mart to buy them.

Do you know the person I care about the most, who hasn't been back for a long time, and then suddenly comes back after that? I don't know when you'll come back, anyway, I've been repeating it for so long now, just to express one, I can wait until the time you come back, just the one I want to express!

My mom said that recently, in fact, not only me, but also me, and since then, I have to say that, I need to stay calm, I can't keep thinking nonsense.

The lack of blood supply to the brain may become the regret of my life. I need someone to get through the rest of my life with this disease. Do you know? The only thing I care about the most is you! Do you know?

It seems that the diary says this, but it doesn't have any effect! Li Xinyang, in short, I just want to express a meaning, I will wait for you to come back here, and it will always be true.

I closed the lid of my pen and closed my journal again, then walked over to the bed and lay down on it. Hey, I'm going to start my home life again!

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