"Don't, don't say it, I don't want to hear it." I don't want to accept the fact that I'm his wife, and I don't want to hear anything about his wife.

Even when his wife was dealing with Yun Cai's classmates, I heard a cow bark and was curious about his wife's identity, but I didn't want to ask, I didn't want to listen.

"Mo Ran, can you tell me, why are you so reluctant to accept that you are her?"

Guan Shi asked me why, and I couldn't say why, in short, I just didn't want to accept it.

I shook my head and said nothing, Guan Yan was silent for a while, and said to me in a very pleading voice: "Mo Ran, you try to accept that you are her, okay?" ”

I didn't speak, and Guan Shi said, "You know what? In many places, you are very similar to her, and the name is similar. She is the Phantom Cow clan, the men of their clan are all surnamed Fantasy, the women are surnamed Cai, and her name is Caiyun. ”

Although I heard the cow barking before, I guessed that she might be a cow, but when I heard Guan Shi say that she was a Phantom Cow clan, I was still a little shocked, and I said: She is really a cow.

When I heard the word Caiyun next, I instantly thought of Yuncai.

Clouds, clouds, these two names are also very similar.

I feel very uncomfortable when I think of classmate Yuncai, and then when I think of Guan Shi's kindness to classmate Yuncai because of that face.

It felt like there was a foreign body in my throat, and I couldn't vomit it if I wanted to, and I couldn't swallow it if I wanted to.

But she didn't like her name, she said she liked the word dyeing, so she changed her name to Caiyun Dye. She said that Caiyun was very cheesy, and it was different with the addition of a dyeing word. ”

"Caiyun dye, Caiyun dye......" I secretly read these three words in my heart, and the more I read it, the more I felt that this name had charm, and it was many times taller than Caiyun.

I can't help but feel that she is really a smart person.

Of course, she is a smart person, otherwise how could she create such an ingenious dish as perfectly.

"She likes Caiyun Dye so much, so our dormitory, study, garden, many, many places are called Caiyun Dyeing. She said that wherever I went, I could see her name and take her to heart. ”

It sounds romantic, but why do I feel so sad?

"When Cang Li said that you were her, I was looking forward to you being her, and when I heard your name, I felt that you were her, but, but ......"

When I heard Guan Shi's words, I remembered the scene where he asked me for my name.

He asked me what my name was, and I said it was Mo Ran, and after he read my name, he just read the word dye, and his eyes swept over my face, as if he wanted to see me through.

But I was so nervous and scared that I didn't even think about why he just read that dye.

Now that I think about it, I know that he pronounced the dyeing word because his mother's name also has a dyeing word.

"You are also very similar to her personality. Although she is not like you, she can endure anything, but there are some things, she can still endure it. For example, when I took a concubine, she endured it in her heart. ”

"And your preferences, it can be said that it is nature, she is a colorful cow clan, likes to be a vegetarian, likes water, and is good at swimming. You and she are exactly the same in terms of preferences. ”

"I should have thought that the country is easy to change, the temperament is difficult to change, even if a person changes again, some of her living habits and instincts will not change. What's more, she is still a Phantom Cow Clan. ”

"In you, I have seen her shadow many times, and I have wanted to think that you are her like Cang Li, but ......"

"Don't say any more!" Originally, I didn't want to hear about her, but Guan Yan said it, and I didn't interrupt, but the more he said, the more I felt bad in my heart, so I couldn't help but interrupt him.

It was only after listening to him say so much that I understood why I was so repulsive to the fact that I was her.

Because, I don't want to be a substitute for her.

And Guan Shi said so much, just to clearly express a meaning: he treats me as her.

Even though I know I'm her now, I can't help but feel sorry for myself.

I am me, how could I be her?

Even if I am her, then I am also the one after her reincarnation, and I am still different from the previous one.

I don't even know if I just said that I already liked me, whether I simply liked me, or if I liked me who was like her in name, personality, and nature.

In other words, if I put aside my name, personality, and nature, will he still like me?

Will you like my face, whether it is eyebrows, eyes, nose, mouth, face shape, as well as demeanor and temperament?

"Mo Ran, don't be so repulsive, you'll know these sooner or later."

Guan Shi was about to say, and I shook my head bitterly: "You really don't say it anymore." Don't you want to know why I'm so reluctant to accept the fact that I'm her? I know why now. The reason is that I don't want to be a substitute for her. ”

"Mo Ran, you're not a replacement." Guan Yan corrected me, "You are her, you are a person, how can you be a substitute?" ”

"No, I'm the replacement. What you just said, the feeling you just gave me, and the fact that you said several times before that you wished I was her, I felt that you were using me as a substitute for her. ”

"You say you like me, but in fact, what you like is not me, it's my shadow like her."

"Mo Ran ......" Guan Fan wanted to explain something, but I interrupted him: "Don't say no, that's it." From the first time we met, no, it should be the second meeting. ”

"The second time we met, if it weren't for Cang Li calling me mother, you wouldn't have treated me like that. From then on, you treated me as her, as a substitute for her. ”

"Mo Ran, I was wronged. I wish you were her, but I never thought you were her. Before I knew exactly that you were her, you were you, she was her, and I knew very well. ”

Guan Shi said that he was very clear, but I didn't think so, "You want me to be her, you are treating me as her, treating me as a substitute for her." ”

"No, Mo Ran, you misunderstood. I hope you're her, not ......" As he spoke, Guan Shi suddenly lost his voice.

He paused for a moment, and said in a low voice: "Mo Ran, I was wrong, I was very wrong. My biggest mistake was to believe in myself too much and be too confident in my own means. ”

"I should identify you with Cang Li when Cang Li identifies you as her. I should be kind to you when the little monk reminds me to be good to you. ”

"One thing I was wrong about was that I didn't ask the little monk about your background. I think he should know who you are and who I am. ”

"Otherwise, he won't do his best to take you away when he fights with me, and then he can take you away but changes his mind, so he can leave you with confidence."

"There is also an unforgivable mistake, that is, I shouldn't have brought back the Seven Faces Exquisite Dragon, and I shouldn't have let you suffer so many grievances."

"Mo Ran, I was wrong, really wrong, wrong, wrong......"

Guan Shi said several mistakes in a row, and the more he spoke, the lower his voice became, the deeper he became, and the more sad he became.

Hearing Guan Shi blame himself all the time and say that he was wrong, I was so distressed to hear it, and I wanted to say something to comfort him.

But just as I was about to open my mouth to comfort him, I suddenly felt something fall on my neck, wet and cold.

I thought of something, I wanted to look up, but before I could lift it, I was pressed down by Guan Shi.

Guan Yan pressed my head and pressed my head into his arms, and he lowered his head, kissed me on the top of the head, and said slowly: "Mo Ran, I know it's wrong." I don't ask you to forgive me, I just want to ask you one thing, do you still like me now? ”

"I ......" I was about to say that I still liked him, but I only said one word of me before I was interrupted by Guan Shi.

Guan Yan interrupted me and said, "Don't, don't say anything. Even if you don't like me, that's okay. I'll like you until you like me again. ”

When I heard Guan Shi's words, I knew that he was afraid that I would say that I didn't like him, so he interrupted me, and my heart hurt even more.

I know what it's like to like others and be afraid that others won't like you.

That taste was not comfortable at all, I deeply experienced it, and I didn't want Guan Shi to experience it again, so I hurriedly said: "Guan Shi, I still like you, it's just ......"

"It's enough to like me." Guan Yan was afraid that I would say something, so he interrupted me again.

"Guan Shi, you let me finish speaking, okay?"

Guan Shi didn't answer me immediately, but first hugged me into his arms, and after a while, he said, "Okay, you say." ”

"I know very well that I still like you, even when you brought Yuncai-san back, even if I want to leave you, I still like you. Loved it, loved it. ”

"Mo Ran." Hearing my confession, Guan Yan excitedly called my name.

I shook my head and motioned for him not to speak, "It's just that I can't think I'm her." As soon as I thought that I was her, I just, I ...... It's very painful, and it's very repulsive that I'm her. An instinctive rejection. ”

"I also know that I am her, she is me. The two of us are one person, and I shouldn't be so repulsive to accept the fact that I'm her, but ...... I can't. I really can't do it. ”

"While rejecting myself as her, I also have some rejection of liking you. It's not that I don't like you anymore, it's just that I don't like it pure, and I don't have the feeling I used to have. ”

"I don't know why I'm like this. I felt a lot of pain, very, very much pain. Pain that has never been felt before, more painful than I like you and you don't like me. ”

"I know why." Guan Yan said softly, "Because you haven't accepted that you are her." Mo Ran, when you accept that you are her, you won't be so miserable. ”

"Maybe, but when will I accept that I'm her?" I smiled wryly, feeling like I might never be able to accept that I was her.

Guan Shi didn't speak, so I guess he didn't know.

I continued, "I'm afraid that I won't wait for the day when I accept that I am her, and I will die in this agony, and I will wear down my love for you." ”

"No, it won't. Mo Ran, no. With a hint of panic in his voice, Guan Shi hugged me tightly and said.

I shook my head and said bitterly, "You don't know how I feel now, and even I can't tell how I feel now." I...... I don't know how to say it, I just know that this is not the life I want, I want to live the life I want. ”

"What kind of life do you want?"

"I want ......"

Later, I really lived the life I wanted, but I also ......

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