Hearing Guan Yan's words, my hand beating his chest suddenly stopped, and the hand that grabbed his collar instantly lost its strength and let go of his collar.

I looked at Guan Shi in a daze, feeling that this was even more unbelievable than the fact that he said that my brother and I were half-brothers.

But if this is true, then how protective my brother must have been for me.

My tears came up in waves, and then they fell in waves.

There are sad, touched, and others, tears of various emotions intertwined.

"Wife, I don't want to tell you, but after you go back this time, you will definitely have to face some gossip. Brother Phantom is afraid that it will be more difficult for you to accept it when you arrive, so he asked me to tell you in advance so that I can prepare early. ”

Guan Yan paused for a moment and said, "I'm afraid that you will be sad, so I haven't dared to tell you, and I haven't told you until now." ”

"Actually, you can not tell me." I looked at Guan Shi with blurry tears in my eyes, tears still rolling down: "Go back, they said let them say, I don't believe it, I definitely don't believe it." But if you tell me, I have to believe it. ”

"Wife......" Guan Shi approached me.

But I saw him like a great enemy at the moment, and when I saw him approaching me, I stepped back.

Guan Yan didn't want me to retreat, so he stopped, "Wife, you can't imagine what ugly words they will say. ”

Speaking of this, Guan Shi took another deep breath, and said in a low and slow tone: "Brother Phantom said that after giving birth to him, his mother was very weak, and he was in a coma for eight out of ten days. Even if she was awake, she couldn't move, and she kept lying in bed, relying on Brother Phantom to go out to find food to bring to her. ”

"But Brother Phantom is young, and it is not easy to forage for food, and sometimes he goes out for many days before bringing back a little food, which causes his mother to be severely malnourished and her body is even weaker. So after giving birth to you, I left. ”

"Ahh Although Guan Shi didn't say how I came here, he said that my brother went out to forage for food for many days, which indirectly told me that my mother was bullied when my brother went out to forage, and then I had me.

I couldn't accept that my brother and I were half-siblings, how could I accept such an unbearable, cruel, and infuriating fact, I screamed, stepped on the water, rushed out of Caiyunran, and rushed out of the room.

The moment I rushed out of the room, I looked at the moon and stars in the sky, looked at the lights under my feet, looked at the sky and the earth, but I didn't know where to go.

But I had to find another place, and I thought of Yuelong Lake.

I came to Yuelong Lake, plunged headlong, dived all the way to the bottom, and then came out of the water.

Rushing out of the water, still unable to suppress the emotions in my heart, I raised my palms against the water and shot out.

The water in front of me was pouring forward layer by layer, higher and higher, like a tsunami.

Guan Shi was beside me, he didn't stop me, he didn't persuade me to stop, just silently put the water I lifted back to Yuelong Lake smoothly.

He could put the water back, but he couldn't save the fish and shrimp that had been affected by my energy, and the many creatures in the water.

I saw many fish floating on the surface of the lake that glowed white in the moonlight, and I was indifferent.

"What's going on?" Suddenly, there was a concerned inquiry in front of me.

I looked up and saw that under the cold moonlight, Daji's white-clothed victory snow was drifting in.

On the other side, the little monk also came with Xiao Lin who was still asleep.

It must have been that I had just moved too much, and the energy fluctuations that were generated made them perceive.

"What's going on?" The little monk also asked.

I looked at them, but I didn't want to answer their questions, I didn't even want to face them.

Although when I return to the Demon God Realm, they will also know my identity from other people's mouths, but I just don't want to say it now.

I turned and left.

I don't know where to go.

I saw a light not far away, and it was different from other places, and it looked very warm.

I flew towards the light.

Guan Yan followed behind me, and I heard him say to Daji and the little monk, "Don't come here. ”

When I was about to fly to the light, I realized that the light was the light from the observation pavilion on Qingfeng Mountain.

I flew to the roof of the observation pavilion, faced the cold wind, looked at the city lights below the mountain, and tears rained down.

"Wife...... "Guan Yan approached me carefully.

I felt Guan Shi's caution, I felt that I was hurting the person I loved the most, hurting the person who loved me the most, and my heart was even more uncomfortable, so I turned around and threw myself into his arms, grabbing the clothes on both sides of his waist with both hands and crying bitterly.

"Wife......" Guan Yan called me distressedly and hugged me tightly in his arms, "No matter what kind of identity you are, you are my wife, my wife." ”

When I heard this, I cried even harder.

Guan Yan took my hand around me and patted me lightly on the back.

After crying for some time, my emotions were able to vent and I gradually calmed down.

After calming down, I realized that I had several mistakes, which can also be said to be inadequate.

First of all, I shouldn't blame Guan Shi.

It had nothing to do with him, he just told me about it, and I was angry with him.

Second, I shouldn't fail to accept who I am.

I don't accept my identity, I just don't accept my mother.

My mother gave birth to me with all the hard work and lost her life for me, and I can't refuse to accept her no matter what.

Therefore, I must accept myself, accept that I and my brother are half-siblings, and accept the fact that my biological father is unknown.

Third, I didn't control my emotions.

When Guan Shi didn't tell me about it, I swore to him that I could stabilize it, but it still didn't happen.

I apologized to Guan Shi: "Guan Shi is sorry, I shouldn't blame you. ”

Guan Shi immediately interrupted my apology: "Wife, I am your husband, your husband, and your closest person. If you are unhappy in your heart, and if you don't vent it to me, to whom? ”

"I don't blame you, are you feeling better now? If it doesn't work, you'll beat me up. ”

Guan Shi's words warmed my heart, I felt more sorry for him, and at the same time I loved him more.

"I'm much better, much calmer." I whispered.

Guan Yan's hand "touched" the back of my head and said, "Wife, you are sad in your heart, don't suppress yourself, don't think that you are a cultivator, you must be as calm as water." Sometimes venting one's emotions is also a kind of practice. ”

"Hmm." I tried to stop the tears, but the tears still rushed to fall, and I thought I should listen to Guan Shi's advice and not suppress myself.

I told Guan Shi how uncomfortable I was, how grateful, and how sad and angry I was.

I felt sorry for my identity, and I was grateful to my brother for taking care of me and protecting me, and I was angry that the people bullied my mother.

After telling Guan Shi how I felt in my heart, my heart was surprisingly calm.

"Guan Shi, I am slowly accepting my identity now, but I still feel so uncomfortable when I think that I and my brother are not the same father and mother." Speaking of my identity, I burst into tears again.

I feel that my identity is like a fish bone, stuck in my throat, I can't swallow it, I can't spit it out, it's uncomfortable.

"I know." Guan Yan put his arm around me and shook it gently, "The relationship between you and Brother Phantom is too deep, and I can't accept that there is a flaw between you." ”

"Well, I don't want the position of the Rainbow Bull King anymore." I deceived myself into thinking that as long as I didn't ask for the position of the Phantom Bull King, I wouldn't return to the Phantom Cow Clan.

As long as I don't go back, I won't hear the gossip about me.

I can still think of myself and my brother as brothers and sisters of the same father and mother.

"Okay, wife, whatever you want to do, it's up to you to be your husband." Guan Shi promised me.

"I don't want to go back either." I said willingly.

Guan Shi also promised me: "Okay, we won't go back, we will always be in this world." ”

"No, we have to go back, I have to snatch back the position of the Phantom Bull King." I cried.

Because, when I think of it, I know this cruel fact, and I have been hurt, and if I don't go back, then won't I suffer this hurt in vain?

"Wife, if you don't want to go back, don't go back, don't wronged yourself." Guan Shi wiped my tears.

I waited for Guan Shi to finish, looked up at him and said seriously: "I am not aggrieved. If I don't go back, if I don't grab the position of the Phantom Bull King, my injury will be in vain, and that is the real grievance. ”

"And before my brother left, I also told him that I must snatch back the position of the Phantom Bull King. This is what I promised my brother, and I must do it. ”

Guan Yan opened his mouth to say something, but I raised my hand and pressed his mouth, telling him to wait until I was done.

I continued: "The mouth grows on someone else, and others can say whatever they like, anyway, I think my brother and I are brothers and sisters with the same father and mother. If they dare to insult my mother, I will smash their mouths. ”

"The most important thing is that I must become the king of the Bull Color. As long as I become the king of the Colorful Bull, who of them will dare to say about me? Who would dare to say about my mother. ”

"As for the father, he had better not come to me, and if he dared to come to me brazenly, I would give him a taste of what it was like for me to be allowed to move around in an area as large as two small thatched huts."

After saying it in one go, I let go of my mouth and signaled that he could speak.

Guan Yan grabbed the hand I wanted to withdraw, put it on the lips and kissed it, "Wife, in fact, it was Brother Phantom's own idea to let you only move in an area as large as two small thatched huts. He was afraid that you would come into contact with outsiders and hear those gossips. ”

I was surprised to hear that it was my brother's idea to confined me to two small thatched huts.

After thinking about it, I felt reasonable.

After all, my brother is only less than 300 years older than me, and his abilities are limited before he reaches adulthood, and the only way he can protect me is to keep me from contact with outsiders.

Although it was unexpected, it did not affect my decision, and I still said: "Then let him taste this too!" ”

"Okay, then let him move around within the confines of a small thatched hut." Guan Shidao.

"Uh-huh." I couldn't agree more.

As soon as I finished speaking, I suddenly choked involuntarily, this is crying too much crying.

When that breath came out, I felt much more comfortable, turned my head to look at the lights under the mountain, and said, "Guan Shi, I want to go and see my mother." ”

"Good!" Guan Fan picked me up and took me to see my mother.

However, I suddenly changed my mind and said, "No, I'm still not going." ”

"What's wrong?" Guan asked.

I pressed against Guan Fu's chest and said, "I look at my mother like this, my mother must be worried, I don't want her to worry." Let's go to Yuelong Lake to have a look, I didn't control my emotions just now, and I hurt many innocents. ”

Guan Shi took me to Yuelong Lake.

When I went to Yuelong Lake, I saw that the little monk had not left.

I saw him take off his wig, wear a robe, hold a tin staff in his right hand, turn a rosary in his left hand, and stand by the lake, chanting words in his mouth.

Xiao Lin lay not far from him.

Seeing the little monk like this, a word flashed in my mind: transcendence.

Yes, the little monk is going beyond the limits of those beings who have been hurt by me, and making up for the mistakes I have made.

Knowing that the little monk was overdue, Guan Shi and I didn't bother in the past, and chose to fall behind the little monk.

When the little monk is finished, we will pass.

Guan Shi asked very directly: "Little monk, you have already broken your body, does it work?" ”

"Amitabha, the poor monk is still a monk." The little monk's words indirectly tell us that he didn't have a moment with Xiaolin Chunxiao.

It stands to reason that today is the big day for him and Xiao Lin, and he should have a moment with Xiao Lin for a spring festival.

I wanted to ask, but I was embarrassed, so I didn't ask.

But Guan Shi didn't feel embarrassed, and asked directly: "Today is the day of your and Xiaolin's great joy, why don't you spend the Spring Festival with her?" ”

"I don't want to spend Spring Festival with anyone else!" The little monk said while arranging his robe and tin staff.

Hearing the little monk's words, Guan Shi and I immediately understood, and understood that the little monk minded Bai Fengxiao in Xiaolin's soul.

The little monk sorted out his robe and other things, picked up Xiaolin and left.

I hurriedly said to his back: "Little monk, thank you!" ”

"You're welcome." The little monk stopped and said a word of politeness, and then left with Xiao Lin in his arms.

Looking at the back of the little monk who quickly moved away, I sighed and said, "Alas, I feel that I am not even as good as the little monk." The little monk's state of mind is more stable than mine, and he doesn't ask us what's wrong. If it were me, I wouldn't have been able to help asking. ”

"It's not a good thing to be too stable. Wife, don't overthink it. "Guan Shi 'touched' 'touched' my head.

I nodded, walked to the lake, and apologized to the secluded lake: "I'm sorry, I didn't control my emotions and didn't intend to hurt you, I hope you can forgive me." ”

After saying that, I stood still by the lake.

Guan Shi stood by the lake with me for a while before he said, "Wife, let's go back." ”

Originally, I said that I wouldn't go to see my mother, but when Guan Shi said that I would go back, I suddenly wanted to see my mother again, so I said, "Guan Shi, I still want to see my mother." ”

"Okay, let's go and see it quietly so they don't find out." Guan Shi's words are exactly what I want.

When I came to my mother's house, I found that my parents hadn't slept yet.

And it's already past two o'clock in the morning.

My parents were sitting on the edge of the bed, and the two of them were looking at my family's photo album.

The one I'm looking at is a picture of our family of four.

My dad and my mom are still very young, and my brother and I are still kids.

I remember it was the summer vacation when I was eight years old, and the day after my brother came from his hometown, we went out to play and take pictures.

It's been almost twenty years.