1. Swimming lesson 1

In order to ensure the all-round development of children's morality, intelligence, physical fitness, art and labor, Taixuegong Kindergarten decided to open a swimming lesson, which was taught by Jingchen.

Teacher Jian Rong asked Mr. Nie Su, the director of the Taixue Palace Kindergarten: "Teacher Nie, Su Shu also went to school in the Taixue Palace back then. Why not let her teach swimming lessons? ”

"......" Nie Su was silent for a moment, looked at the sky, and replied, "Su Shu is a fish that almost drowned himself in the water, and a stupid fish who once planned to commit suicide by jumping into the lake. ”

Jianrong: "...... So? ”

Nie Su: "So what do you expect her to teach, it's good that she can protect herself." ”

Su Shu, who was far away, sneezed: "I seem to hear someone behind my back saying that I am stupid......"

----------------------

2. Swimming lesson 2

Jingchen: "The children come with me to move their ankles, one, two, three, four, ......"

Jian Rong distributed lifebuoys next to her.

One was not careful, and Meng Xiaoyu was gone. On closer inspection, he was already naked in the swimming pool.

Jing Chen: "!! Oh my God, hurry up and save people! ”

Jianrong: "...... You don't have to save him...... Now the most important thing is how to put a pair of swim trunks on him......"

Jing Chen: "......"

-----------------------

3. Express delivery

Liangyu was pregnant with her second child, and Changjue didn't allow her to go out again.

One day she suddenly wanted to eat seafood hot pot, so she had to place an order online.

Beihai Shen Yu Shuijun received orders and shipped.

Meng Xiaoyu drove a small truck to deliver goods, and the truck had the book "Meng Xiaoyu Seafood Express".

Meng Xiaoyu said politely: "Please sign the order!" ”

Liangyu: "...... Are you sending yourself to your aunt to eat? What a good boy with a filial heart......"

Tips: "......"

------------------------

4. Sugar gourd

One day, Sushu wanted to eat something sweet and sour.

Meng Ze: "Daughter-in-law, daughter-in-law, this sugar gourd in the mortal world is delicious, I brought a lot of it, I'm afraid that you won't be enough, even the little brother who makes the sugar gourd will be tied back to the palace."

(In the same case, if it is replaced by Nanxiao, then -)

Nan Xiao: "My book, this sugar gourd in the mortal world is very delicious, I bought a bunch of it." Would you like to eat it? If you want to eat it, you can buy all the sugar gourds from all over the world. Want to eat? Please~"

(Sushu: Nanxiao, your uncle!) ）

In the first round, Nan Xiao lost.

-------------------------

5. A two-person world

One day, after bathing in the plain book, he scattered his hair and sat by the lotus pond, the wind stroked his long hair, which was indescribably soft and charming.

Meng Ze: "Little Yu'er, be good, can you go back to your bedroom tonight?"

Xiao Yu'er: "No, father, Xiao Yu'er wants to sleep with her mother."

Meng Ze (touched Xiao Yu'er's head and handed over a pill of immortal medicine): "If you are obedient, this will be given to you."

Xiao Yu'er (happily took the elixir): "Xiao Yu'er is obedient, let's go back to the dormitory." Father, you have to take care of your mother. ”

Meng Ze: "That's nature."

Su Shu: "What did you just say to Xiao Yu'er?"

Meng Ze (stepped forward and hugged Su Shu's shoulder): "Xiao Yu'er said that he wanted a sister. ”

Su Shu (cheeks slightly red): "...... Oh. ”

(Lights out time)

(In the same case, if it is replaced by Nan Mi, then -)

Nan Xiao: "Little pumpkin, you go back to the palace to sleep by yourself today." It's a good thing to spoil Lao Tzu, don't blame Lao Tzu for being polite. ”

Little Pumpkin: "I don't! I want to sleep with my mother. ”

Nan Xiao (flies up and kicks the little pumpkin): "Sleep on your grandmother's legs."

Su Shu: "Nan Xiao, what are you doing!"

Nan Xiao (turned around and smiled, Bidong Sushu): "This child is disobedient, let's give birth to another one."

Su Shu: "Nanxiao, your uncle!"

In the second round, Nan Xiao lost.

-------------------------

6. Horses

The emperor gave marriage.

Nan Xiao: "Lao Tzu doesn't want a princess, I heard that she is fat and ugly and has no sense of security, Lao Tzu takes a fancy to the little palace maid waiting beside her." Gee...... That little face...... That little waist...... The ghost is clever...... What can a princess compare? ”

Su Shu (pinching the fan and sneering): "I can't tell who is the protagonist, it's the hard injury."

Meng Ze: "It doesn't matter if she is a princess or not, the important thing is that she is a plain book, she is my child and her mother, and I recognize her when she turns to ashes...... Something seems wrong......"

Su Shu (with a turn of the fan in his hand): "There is nothing wrong, in the eyes of the gods in the sky, isn't this god reborn in the mortal world after the ashes?"

In the third round, because Nan Xiao couldn't distinguish the protagonist, he lost.

-------------------------

7. Ascension

Nan Xiao: "Meng Ze, tell me clearly, why didn't you ascend to immortal early or late with Sushu, but waited until I woke up and rushed to the palace before ascending to immortality?" I won't even be allowed to see the last side. ”

Meng Ze: "You still have seventy or eighty years of yang in the mortal world, I am afraid that you will be sad if you see the last side of Sushu." How should I live in the future? ”

Nan Xiao: "What a human talker."

Meng Ze: "I just like the way you can't get used to me and can't kill me." You have been in the mortal world for a hundred and eighty years, and it is destined that you will not be able to catch up with my child. ”

In the third round, because Nan Xiaoyang's life was not exhausted, he couldn't go back to heaven and lost.

-------------------------

8, Meng He 1

Meng He and Meng Yu squatted next to the lotus pond in Xuanluo Palace and talked.

Meng He (very melancholy, looking up at the sun): "I think I have played a little bit less, and I don't have much presence. ”

Meng Yu: "What is a sense of presence. ”

Meng He: "That's it...... It's the kind that often comes out and jumps...... It's presence. ”

Meng Yu: "Jumping? Then with lightning speed, he stripped off his clothes and jumped into the lotus pond, and a few carp came to fight, "Brother Little Lotus!" Look! I'll show you how to jump! That's it, and that's it, and that's it, and that's it! Isn't it easy? ”

Meng He: "...... I can probably understand why my sense of existence is weakened. Your little lotus brother is a plant, and he can't jump up by nature......"

-------------------------

9, Meng He 2

In the dead of night, Meng Yu was kicked out of his mother's room by his father. Meng Yu was very aggrieved, squatting next to the lotus pond, thinking about Xiansheng.

Meng He happened to be reading a book next to the lotus pond, and when he saw Meng Yu, he patted his little shoulder: "Why are you sad." ”

Meng Yu (finger to finger): "I don't think my dad likes me very much." He's been chasing me away lately. ”

Meng He: "No, Uncle may be afraid that you will be lonely, and plans to give you a birth (crossed out) and send a younger brother and sister." ”

Meng Yu: "Ah, brother and sister or something, that sounds great!" ”

Meng He (picked up the book and continued to read): "From then on, every night, someone accompanied you and was kicked out by your father. You are no longer alone. ”

-------------------------

10, Meng He 3

Meng Yu: "Brother Xiaohe, I'm so bored, I want to take off my clothes and take a bath." ”

Meng He (handed him a book): "When you are bored, come and study." ”

Meng Yu: "Brother Xiaohe, I don't want to study. I want to undress and take a shower. ”

Meng He: "It's better to study, it's better to take a bath than to study." ”

Meng Yu: "Brother Menghe, aren't you tired of studying every day?" ”

Meng He: "Learning is the most beautiful two words in my life. ”

Meng Yu (grabbed Meng He's sleeve and raised his face): "Then, what about 'Meng Yu', what kind of words are 'Meng Yu' in your life?" ”

Meng He: "To be honest, the two words of yours are basically the same word now. ”

Meng Yu (with a look of anticipation): "What word, what word?" ”

Meng He: "Go Ben." ”

(Yes, it's the naked of the red fruit.) Everyone understands that sensitive words cannot appear in the text. ）

-------------------------

11. Hair removal

Summer is coming, and in order to be able to wear shorts, Nan Mi plans to take off his leg hair.

was applying depilatory cream to his legs, when Nangong suddenly came in.

Nangong's eyes lit up: "Brother, it's the first time I've seen a man use hair removal cream." ”

Nan Xiao: "Well, then what? ”

Nangong: "It's better to be happy alone than to be happy." ”

Nan Xiao (handed the depilatory cream to Nangong): "Do you want to use it too?" Hair removal cream in half for you? ”

Nangong (ran to the door of the main hall and shouted): "Come and see, everyone, it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, my brother is going to take off his leg hair!" ”

Nan Xiao: "Riding a horse, Lao Tzu will take off his leg hair and you will take it off to the world." ”

-------------------------

12, little fairy

Jiuque: "To be honest, I'm really afraid that if I like you, these immortals from all over the world will think that we are grandchildren and grandchildren." ”

Nangong: "You are not old, really, you are the most beautiful in my heart." ”

Jiuque: "But they can't see my face clearly, and they think I'm ugly." ”

Nangong: "But I can see your face clearly." ”

Jiuque: "Why can you see clearly, many people can't see clearly. ”

Nangong: "Probably because I'm a beautiful, cute, rich, kind-hearted and discerning little fairy." ”

Jiuque: "......"

-------------------------

13, Su Ran Jinjuan

Jin Juan: "Auntie is so coincidental, this dim sum is exquisitely made and delicious." ”

Su Ran: "Then you eat more, if you want to learn how to make dim sum, I will teach you." ”

Jin Juan: "Jin Juan doesn't want to learn ......"

Su Ran: "Why? ”

Jin Xuan: "In this way, I can come to my aunt often." If you learn it, you won't find a reason to come to your aunt. ”

Su Ran: "...... Oh. ”

Jin Xuan: "Why is my aunt blushing?" ”

Su Ran: "It's nothing, I haven't been so happy for many years." ”