"But I don't feel it, Mo Yan, I found that I was numb to what you did, I didn't even know what would happen to me, don't come, okay?" I wanted to whisper to him, but after the words came out, he was so calm and indifferent.

Zou Moyan continued his development work as if he hadn't heard it, he seemed to be addicted to playing, he didn't rush to eat it, he slowly grinded me, I could see everything he did, but I didn't feel any excitement.

It was one of the hardest things in the world, and I finally understood what it was like to have no desires and no desires.

"Jiajia, be good." Zou Moyan didn't know when he had withdrawn the clothes on my body, held me in his arms, and his lower body also broke in, slowly stirring, and he let out a long sigh: "You are the same as two years ago, you still let me die like this." ”

I can feel him in and out of my body, but I can't feel any excitement and happiness, in the past, Zou Moyan was just a few clicks, I couldn't help but wrap my arms around his waist, but today is different, he moves very much, I don't feel anything.

"Mo Yan, I don't feel it."

I lay on his shoulder and let him ask for it, "You let go of me, I really don't want to." ”

"It's just the beginning, we've just drunk red wine, and we haven't eaten cake yet."

Zou Moyan dug a piece of cake with his hand, smeared it directly on my chest, and then began to swallow it in a very embarrassing posture, I looked at him in disbelief, why did Zou Moyan, who was sullen and without any mood before, become like this?

When we were together a few times before, if I just looked at the technology, Zou Moyan gave me the feeling that I was like a swinger who had read countless people.

And today, he is a man-eating demon.

But before, he was obviously a man who was very strict with himself for abstinence and desire.

Zou Moyan ate everything about me at once, I became a container for Black Forest cakes, he slowly tasted the taste of the cake, and I was also eaten by him from the inside to the outside.

The whole process, I was very calm, I never thought that this matter would be so difficult, in two hours, I didn't feel anything, there was no wave in my heart, the whole person was quiet and terrible.

This inexplicable affair really went on until seven o'clock in the evening, there were shining stars hanging in the night sky, I was held by him and leaned on the rattan chair, Zou Moyan pointed to the sky and said, "Oh, is it bright?" ”

"The stars in San Diego are brighter than here, do you remember that farm in Trove?"

How could I not remember that it was our first kiss there.

"At that time, you were only a freshman, and you usually looked vigorous, but in fact, it was just an appearance, like a twisted little girl in front of me."

I can't forget how beautiful it was at that time, just like I blocked the place where Zou Moyan might appear all over the campus, handing out his handwritten love letter like a junior high school student, and being crazy every day because of his smile and silly fun all day....

Those days were too simple, too beautiful.

Later, when we were together, Zou Moyan could still remember how many times I followed him, and he said that because of me, the pace of his life slowed down a lot....

Those memories flowed through my heart, Zou Moyan held me tightly in his arms, and whispered in my ear, "Let's go back?" ”

"But my clothes are dirty." I looked at my torn shirt and short skirt on the ground, and remembered, but was pulled into his arms by Zou Moyan, who put his suit jacket on my body, "I have spare in my office." ”

I stood up, it was cold underneath, and I looked down and saw that our bodily fluids were mixed together and flowed down my legs to the ground, and I felt my legs feel cold between them.

Zou Moyan didn't see it, and pulled me down the roof slowly.

The office was very quiet at this time, Zou Moyan let me go to the living room, he took out a dress and windbreaker from the cabinet and gave it to me, I wondered why he had these clothes, and when I saw that there were tags hanging on them, I felt a little comforted.

I went to the bathroom to clean myself briefly, and when I washed my face with cold water, I regained my instincts a little, I looked at myself in the mirror and suddenly felt that the world was quiet and a little scary.

The skirt is not my number, I usually wear the number 165, but on the top of this skirt, it is clearly written 170.

Women care about size and are sensitive, when I was in San Diego before, I was thin, and the number I wore was always 160, and I came back for the past two years, drinking and socializing every day, and gradually grew some meat, which is the number that is stable at 165, and the number of 170, I flashed the tall Li Nan in my mind, and there was no one else.

Li Nan, Li Nan.

Or in those two years, there was a woman I didn't know.

I got dressed and went out, trying my best to hide my discomfort, before the strength of the medicine was over, Zou Moyan pulled me to the underground parking lot, stepped on the accelerator all the way, and took me to a restaurant.

I don't feel hungry now, so when Zou Moyan asked me what I was eating, I didn't have a problem, and he ordered a steak and freshly squeezed orange juice for me.

Seeing that I was still calm, Zou Moyan stroked the back of my hand and asked, "Scared?" ”

I nodded, "Hmm." ”

"Don't be afraid, I won't be in the future." Zou Moyan's eyes flashed with an inexplicable emotion, and he looked at me with a smile, "Replenish your strength, otherwise I'm afraid you will be hungry at night." ”

All I was hovering in my heart was the little white pill: "Mo Yan, you.... Have you taken this medicine before? ”

"Eat." Zou Moyan looked at me, "It will make me very quiet." ”

"This medicine is.... Li Nan opened it? ”

"She's a doctor."

I don't know why, after Zou Moyan said this, I always felt uncomfortable with the clothes on my body, Zou Moyan kept looking at me, I knew that what I wanted to say couldn't escape his eyes, so I asked, "Who is this clothes?" ”

"It's a sample that the customer brought over in the afternoon, let's make this brand." Zou Moyan seemed to see my doubts and said, "They only took this one, I see that you are wearing a little bigger." ”

"It's not..... Other women's? ”

"Other women?" Zou Moyan frowned, "Who are you referring to?" ”

When Li Nan's two words came to my mouth, I didn't say it, at this time the waiter began to pass the food, Zou Moyan was eating salad, and I had no appetite at all.

In fact, I shouldn't have this kind of doubt, if Li Nan and Zou Moyan have anything, they will definitely stay in the United States and not come back. When I saw Li Nan that day, she also looked like she couldn't get it, I thought about the cause and effect relationship, and my mood slowly relaxed.

A woman's greatest ability, in addition to adding blockages to herself, also gives herself relief.

"It's just an imaginary enemy." I looked at the orange juice in front of me, the thoughts in my mind were messy, Zou Moyan sat opposite me, eating the salad on his plate thoughtfully, seeing that I didn't move my chopsticks, and put the sour plum in the small plate in front of me, "Eat something." ”

I sighed, "I don't want to eat it." ”

"How can you do it without eating?" Zou Moyan asked the waiter to serve the main course, and I looked at the medium-rare filet mignon really had no appetite, and I didn't move a bite.

Zou Moyan cut the steak into small pieces and put them in front of me, and whispered, "Eat some, your stomach will be uncomfortable if you don't eat." ”

I picked up my fork and forked a piece of the ox tag and put it in my mouth, like chewing wax.

My eyes were completely on the man in front of me, Zou Moyan may not know, I just like to watch him quietly, no matter what he does, or eat, or read, or play games, or even when he cooks in the kitchen, he is handsome.

"Look at me, I can't get enough." Zou Moyan smiled and dug out a mouthful of pudding and put it on my plate, "Oh, eat some of this." ”

"I really don't want to eat it!" I sighed helplessly, I wanted to lose my temper, but I found that my heart was like water now, and all my temper was released, I don't know if it was because the medicine was too strong, I still felt very calm, like an ocean without any waves.

Zou Moyan ate this dinner very happily, and he was in a good mood when he took me home, and I suddenly remembered that these days were not my safe period, and he did it a few times, but there was no measure.

On the way, I asked to go to the pharmacy, Zou Moyan asked me what to buy, and I said after-the-fact medicine.

"That medicine is not good for your health, don't take it."

"But I haven't been in a safe period lately." I muttered to myself, what if I did have a child, would you want it?

"It won't be such a coincidence, I'll ask Li Nan tomorrow if there is any medicine with fewer side effects."

I looked at Zou Moyan's calm face, and my hand couldn't help but touch the position of my lower abdomen, if there was really a child, would he like it?

"If you had a child, like a child, would you want him?"

Zou Moyan didn't answer, and when I was almost disappointed, his hand took my hand and said slowly, "Let's talk about it first." ”

I didn't know what he meant by this, but I knew that when he said this, those crooked thoughts in my heart disappeared in an instant.

When I got home, Zou Moyan put the bath water, I soaked for a while before I had a feeling, it was that kind of nervous feeling, for example, when I saw the red mark on my chest that was sucked out by Zou Moyan in the mirror, my face turned red, and I thought that he smeared the whole Black Forest cake on my body in the afternoon, and I didn't dare to look up in shame.

If it weren't for the effect of the pill in the afternoon, I think I would definitely have no strength to go back to Zou Moyan's torture, how could I still have dinner with him, and I could still stand in front of the mirror and watch the battlefield he left behind....

After washing, I went out of the bathroom, Zou Moyan was not in the living room, the door of the study was closed, I knocked on the door with a bath towel, Zou Moyan should be on the phone, and hung up when I came in and said a few words to the person on the phone, "Finished washing?" ”

I nodded, "You're busy?" ”

"Talk to Zhou Luo about something." Zou Moyan walked up to me and hugged me, "Does it hurt?" ”

I shook my head and asked him, "Does that medicine still have a pain-relieving effect?" ”

Zou Moyan smiled, "No, it seems that you are a little dissatisfied with my hard work in the afternoon!" ”

"Not really!" I slapped him on the shoulder and sighed, "It's just that the medicine is weird, and I'm especially afraid of the feeling of being desireless." ”

"I understand." Zou Moyan picked me up by the waist and walked to the bedroom and put it on the bed, "Next time I'll lighten it?" ”

"Don't have a next time." I just have to think about how I felt in the afternoon, and I feel sick.

"Okay." Zou Moyan kissed the tip of my nose, "Next time we'll try something else." ”

Zou Moyan said to do it, and then we really tried a lot of other tricks, and after a few times, I felt that the white pill was a gift.