"Notes on Going to the Grave" (21)
"What's my brother's name?" I asked.
"Do you ask Chinese or French? His Chinese name is Qiao Lu. Fu Lu Shou's Lu, this name is not used here. Your father started it and hoped that your brother would have a better fame and fortune when he grew up. Mom said.
"As soon as I heard it, I probably knew that he had obtained it, and only he could get this kind of name. Jolu and Jock, I don't know how ugly it is. When I was a child in elementary school in China, some of my classmates laughed at me for giving me a foreign name. I said.
"Well, your dad named you Jock because I loved chocolate." Mom said.
"I'll be chatting with you for a few minutes and I'll leave, how are you doing?" I said.
I don't know why, but a whole bunch of thoughts came through my head.
I seem to know why I was driven away, because a person who doesn't study really has little value in their eyes. From the fact that my father can give my brother such a name, you can know how much resentment there is.
"Very good, I understand your business. I'll call you tomorrow at this time. You get it here, and I'll get it with the social security number and the documents. Mom said.
I don't know why, I have a lot of words in my throat.
But I don't want to say it, because I don't want to quarrel and I don't want to quarrel.
At this moment I don't know if they owe me or if I owe them. Maybe I owe them a filial son, and they owe me a home.
This may be a matter of a few words, and it can be assumed that nothing has happened in these six years. But I knew in my heart that I couldn't bow to them in my life.
"It's good that the family is good, does he know that he has an older brother?" I said.
Mom didn't speak, the top floor was cold outside the style.
At this moment, how I wish my mother said yes, even if it was a lie.
I don't know how long it was, maybe just a few minutes.
But at this moment, I really feel like a year, and this feeling is the same as when I came by plane.
They tricked me into going to France, and they forgot about me at the moment. In this world, why can there be such a bloody thing.
Turning around and walking downstairs, my mother grabbed me by the shoulder.
"Anything else?" I said.
"Can you just let me take a good look at you?" Mom said.
"You came out stealing, didn't you? Doesn't it really matter if you don't go back quickly? I said.
"It's okay, I should have a little more time. And I feel compelled to tell you something. Mom said.
"What's the matter?" I slowly turned to look at my mother.
"You also know your father's temper, and he just bought the house at that time. The family doesn't have a lot of money, and the turnover on the company's side is not good. This is the case on the French side, where workers strike if they want to. Things piled up, and I happened to be pregnant again. Your brother originally wanted to defeat you, and your father wanted to train you to be a talent. But your performance at the time, the school said you hadn't been there for a day. Your dad was crying alone in the room after beating you and telling you to get out. Mom said.
"Then I left and never looked for me again, and my brother took care of him since he was born, didn't he?" I said, in a very light tone.
"We never gave up on you, really." Mom said nervously.
"I'm only coming to you today for an identity, and I won't bother you anymore. If my brother didn't know about my existence, he wouldn't have to talk about it in the future. I shook off my mother's hand on my shoulder and went downstairs without looking back.