113 (2) Late at night
"Dididi"
The QQ prompt sounds.
The heroine clicks on the penguin and finds that a stranger has added her.
She agreed.
After agreeing again, the other party sent a voice call, and the heroine clicked to agree.
"Hello!" Male.
"Hello!" The heroine said hello suspiciously.
"I would like to ask how you can kill someone without leaving a trace at home?"
"Well, why are you asking this?" The heroine said in fear.
"It's okay, I'm just curious to ask, if you don't want to answer, I'll hang up."
"Don't, I just know a thing or two."
"I want to hear about it"
"First you have to wipe the blood off the ground with his clothes, then clean up everything around, then light a fire in the house, burn the clothes to ashes, and then pour the ashes into the toilet, and as for the corpses, see what you do. As long as you are careful, there will definitely be no flaws. The heroine said.
"I want to burn the body, but what if I don't have a lot of gas."
"It's simple, you can use some flammable objects."
"What if you don't have it at home?"
"You can go downstairs and buy it, or borrow it from a neighbor."
"Okay, I'll go."
"Doodoo"
The conversation has been hung up.
The heroine smiled, and was just about to close the computer and pick up the tools when she heard a knock at the door.
"Knock Knock"
The heroine was stunned, and walked to the door with some fear, and saw an old woman through the cat's eyes.
It turned out that the other party had borrowed oil.
"Girl, why does your house smell mushy?"
"Huh? No, auntie, you smelled it wrong. β
Funny Story:
If you can hold back 5 and not laugh, you are ruthless
1. Five Yuan was kidnapped by a criminal gang and called 100 Yuan Banknote:
"Hey! Your son is here, and if you don't want us to tear up the ticket, you will exchange yourself for him! β
The hundred-dollar bill thought for a moment and said:
"Tear it up, you don't even have 5 dollars after tearing it up!"
2. A man was about to starve to death in the desert, when he picked up the magic lamp.
Magic lamp: "I can only fulfill one wish for you, say it quickly, I'm in a hurry." β
Person: "I want a wife ......"
The magic lamp immediately conjured up a beautiful woman, and then said disdainfully: "I'm dying of hunger and greedy for beauty!" Lamentable! With that, he disappeared.
Person: "...... Cake. β
3. The earthworm family was very bored this day, so the little earthworm cut himself into two pieces to play badminton.
The earthworm mother thought this method was good, so she cut herself into four pieces to play mahjong.
Father Earthworm thought about it and cut himself into minced meat.
Mother Earthworm cried and said, "Why are you so stupid? You'll die if you chop it so hard! β
Father Earthworm said weakly, "...... Suddenly I want to play football. β
4. The panda man wants to QJ the panda woman, and the panda woman struggles to resist and swears to the death.
After the failure, the panda man said indignantly: "We are all about to become extinct!" β
5. Tortoise and Hare Race...... The rabbit quickly ran to the front......
The tortoise saw a snail crawling very slowly, very slowly...... Say to him, "Come up, and I will carry you......
And then...... And the snails came up......
After a while.... .. The turtle saw another ant...... And say unto him, Come up also......
So the ants came up too.
When the ants come up...... See the snail above ...... Said to him: Hello
Do you know what snails say?
The snail said, "Hurry up, this turtle is so fast.......
6. There is a man and a woman having dinner
The girl kept asking the boy: Do you love me?
The boy glanced at the girl and went on to dinner
The girl was very angry and asked again: Do you love me?
The boy finally said: Love
The girl asked again: Then how do you prove it?
Suddenly, the boy took thirty dollars out of his pocket,
Let's ask the girl: Do you have ten dollars?
The girl took ten dollars and gave it to the boy......
The boy put forty dollars on the table
After a while .....
The girl was very angry and asked the boy: Do you want to prove that you love me!
The boy said, "I've proven it!" Forty is in front of you!
7. Go to the snack street in one day
Discover a shop that sells egg tarts
Each one looks very delicious, so I want to buy one and try it
I asked the clerk: Is this a single sale?
Clerk: No, it's Japanese.
8. One day, a family caught fire,
Mom and Dad escaped, leaving only one son still inside.
Mom was nervous and shouted outside the house:
Son..... What are you doing?
The son replied, "I'm wearing socks, ....."
Mom said, "What socks are you wearing when they're all on fire...."
After five minutes, the son still hasn't come out......
The mother shouted nervously, "Son, what the hell are you doing? Come out ~ It's all on fire, and I'm still staying inside....."
The son said, "I'm taking off my socks........"
9. A man went fishing in the river
I wore a leaf first~ I didn't catch a fish for a long time, and he changed a piece of bread ~ I didn't catch a fish for half a day~
He had no choice but to change the earthworm~, but he still didn't catch the bait for half a day~~
He was angry ~ took out 100
MB fell into the water and scolded:
"*-%#% What to eat! Go buy it yourself!!! β
10. A German, a Frenchman, and a Japanese were to work in the mines.
The boss was an American, and he said to the Germans: you are in good health, you are in charge of coolies.
Say to the French: you say you are an engineer and you are in charge of the plan of mining.
And to the Japanese he said: You are very thin. You are responsible for supplies.
Then the next week, they started working.
A few days later, the Germans and the French found that the Japanese were gone, and after a long search, they decided that they would go back to work.
When the Germans began to work, the Japanese suddenly jumped out and shouted:
γ Su
p
ise!γ
11. "I can't see too far," the patient told the ophthalmologist.
"Please come with me," the doctor asked, pointing to the sun in the sky, as he took the patient outside, "and what do you see there?" β
"The sun." The patient replied.
"Then how far do you want to see!"
12. One day, the animals smelled very bad in front of the Guangong Temple.
The snake said: I can't put such a stinky fart when I'm so young, it must be a cow.
The cow said: I eat grass, and I don't let out such a stinky fart.
The pig said: The one who farts will definitely blush.
Suddenly, Guan Gong rushed out, beat the pig away and said: How many times have I said it, I am born to blush.
13. There was a man who met God one day......
God was suddenly so kind that he intended to give that man a wish......
God asks ......
Do you have any wishes......
The man thought for a moment......
I heard that cats have 9 lives......
Then please give me 9 lives......
God said......
Your wish has come true......
One day, the man was bored ......
I want to say that it's okay to die......
Anyway, there are 9 lives
Just lying on the railroad tracks......
As a result, a train drove by......
The man is still dead......
Why is that?
Because that train has 10 carriages......
14. One day, the funeral home sent three people, and it was strange to say that their smiles after death were all ^_^ ......
The funeral director wondered why their faces were ^_^ the ones when they died.
pol.ice says: This ...... It's a long story...... Look at the guy on the left...... He was spending Spring Festival with his wife...... At the moment of the most passion ...... Stand...... Hung up
The administrator replied, "Alas...... May I die under the flowers...... Ghost is also romantic...... How did the middle one die?
pol.ice: The middle one...... He's ah... .... What a human tragedy...... He walked on the road...... Suddenly I heard that I had won the jackpot...... Prize money more than 700 million.
He laughed happily when he ....... but was hit by an oncoming car...... Outcome...... Hung up......
The administrator replied: Alas...... He really didn't have the blessing to enjoy the second half of this glorious and wealthy life...... And what about the rest of the one?
pol.iceοΌ ...... This one is a bit pitiful...... He was killed by lightning while climbing a tree
The administrator replied: ...... That's a little wrong, why do you laugh when you are struck by lightning......
pol.ice says: Because after he climbed the tree he thought ..... Suddenly a flash of lightning ......
He thought ...... Someone took a picture of him......
15. It is said that thousands of years ago, whether it was a male dog or a female dog, they used to squat when urinating.
It wasn't until the Tang Dynasty that things changed......
Tang Taizong, everyone has heard of it! He raised a pair of Peking dogs, and once Tang Taizong went to Huashan to worship the sky and took this pair to ......
Halfway through the sacrifice, the suddenly became anxious, so she ran behind a tree to solve it.
This is a very disrespectful act when worshipping the heavens, so it annoys the Jade Emperor,
The Jade Emperor ordered Lei Gong to strike a thunderbolt, which happened to hit the tree, and the tree fell down and crushed the female dog to death, and the male dog was very scared after seeing it......
From then on, every time the male dog urinated under the tree, he would stretch out one foot and push hard against the tree.
lest the tree fall and weigh on itself......