The car drove into the community, the surroundings were quiet, empty, and there were two days before Chinese New Year's Eve, probably at this moment to be able to reunite with relatives at home, should be very happy.

Sun Kai's family is in a neighborhood with me, after I parked the car, I saw his black Audi, I sniffled, looked up at Sun Kai's bedroom window, a gray curtain covered it, was pulled tightly, I thought to myself, this kid came back earlier than me.

I walked to the door of my house with my luggage, knocked lightly, there was no movement in the room, I frowned, and knocked hard twice, and then my father's slightly angry hoarse voice sounded.

"Who, so early, here, here..."

A happy smile tugged at the corner of my mouth.

The door opened, and Dad was stunned for a moment, but only for a moment, he returned to his grim face.

"Why, why don't you give me a notice when you come back? Hi you, didn't you say it was busy over there? ”

The father said incoherently, he took the luggage, and shouted to the bedroom: "Mom, my son is back, get up and cook something to eat." ”

"No need Dad, it's not six o'clock yet, you two are sleeping a little longer, I'm really not hungry."

I took off my coat and hung it on the hanger, and saw my mother walking out of the bedroom sleepily, she was a lot thinner, short in stature, thin in physique, white in temples, yellow in the face, and a little messy in her hair, which made my nose a little sore.

"Oh, why don't you call your mother when you come back?"

My mother walked over barefoot, I bit my lower lip, tears like uncontrollable, snatching out of my eyes, no matter how many ups and downs outside, stumbling, every time I came back here, it seemed that what annoying and boring were gone, and the drops of bitter tears dissolved my sadness and helplessness when I was adrift.

I rubbed my red and swollen eyes, driving the car for too long, making me tired and a little dizzy, I pulled up my mother and said softly, "Mom, I want to sleep." ”

My dad lit a cigarette, pointed to my bedroom and said, "Go to sleep, what are you crying for the New Year." ”

I burst into tears and laughed, yawned, and walked straight to the bedroom, when my mother suddenly asked me behind me, "Why didn't Xinyan come back with you?" ”

My heart chuckled, my hand pressed on the doorknob, and without looking back, I said, "She, she's gone abroad." ”

"When will you two get married, and will it be decided?"

Mom's expression was a little anxious, it seemed that she and her dad were worried about me a lot at home.

I turned around and said with a smile, "Come on, don't worry." ”

"Can you not be in a hurry, you are 30 years old, how can you still be as uncertain as a child, look at Sun Kai, you are now mixed with a good look."

My mother tucked her hair back at the back of her head, and her wrinkled cheeks were much darker.

Dad spat out a cigarette and said in a low voice: "The child just came back and drove a night's car, you let him sleep well, why did he just enter the house and ask questions, chattering endlessly." ”

The old mother glared at him, and said angrily: "This is our son, I don't bother to say it if it were someone else." ”

I sneered, looked at my mother and said, "Mom, I'm too sleepy, let's go to bed first." ”

"Go, go, I'll call you when you're ready."

Mom rubbed her hands, went into the kitchen and started to work, Dad nested on the sofa, no intention of sleeping, only I was sleepy, fell on the soft and comfortable bed, everywhere was filled with the smell of home, giving people a sense of peace of mind, stability, calming the nerves, I whispered: It's good to go home.

In a trance, I came to a swampy quagmire, and as far as the eye could see, I was shrouded in a white mist, and the sun in the sky was like a burning fireball, baking the whole earth to boil.

The swamp was like an unfathomable black hole, the mud wrapped around my legs, little by little downward, I screamed loudly, no one came to save me, the hysterical helplessness and fear, I couldn't breathe like sweat.

I gave up the struggle, rather than do tasteless tearing, it is better to die peacefully like this, my ankles, like a pair of powerful hands, dragging desperately, within a moment, I fell completely into the darkness, here is a deathly silence, there is no breath of life, I can't even feel my own heartbeat.

Suddenly, I saw a firefly flying towards me, and in this empty and hopeless darkness, that little bit of light made me excited.

The fireflies circled around my head twice and flew towards nothingness.

"Wait, wait for me..."

I stretched out a hand and staggered after the past, not wanting to give up this last bit of light.

I don't know how long I ran, but I only felt that my legs were weak, my limbs were sore, and the sweat soaked through my clothes.

The firefly stopped, turned into a dazzling white light, the unpredictable light, as if full of infinite spiritual power, flickered for a moment, and then turned into a white iron door, the door was hidden, in the gap, the light was still jumping, I knew that this was the best time to get out of the darkness, wipe the sweat from my forehead, and I walked towards the white door.

Suddenly, a string of silver bells of laughter sounded behind me, a voice that was both familiar and unfamiliar, and in this empty and untraced darkness, there was a hint of treachery.

"Who, who's there?"

I turned my head and stared behind me with a wary face, a blurry face slowly appeared, I frowned, trying to get a closer look at her face, but helplessly, the more I tried to look deliberately, the more hazy the face became.

The white door was completely open, and the white light washed away the darkness, stinging my eyes, and countless fireflies drifted in, illuminating every corner of the darkness.

I let out a scream and sat up from my bed, the winter sun shining through the window on my bed, giving me a warm and comfortable feeling.

The sweater on my body has been soaked with sweat, after a few breaths, I feel as relaxed as if I have come back to life, I changed my clothes, I walked out of the bedroom, and saw that the house was empty, on the dining table, there was a note, I was a little surprised, I walked over to check, and saw that it was written: I went to the door with your mother, there is a cooked meal in the pot, you heat it yourself.

I grinned, lit a cigarette, took my phone, and saw that Wang Ling sent me more than 20 WeChat messages, I sighed lightly and checked them one by one, most of them were sweet words about how happy she was when she went home, and how she thought of me, Xinyan also sent New Year's wishes, and a few selfies of her in Times Square.

I walked to the floor-to-ceiling window with my mobile phone, looked at the window of Sun Kai's house, and saw him shirtless, holding a cigarette, and watering the flowers leisurely.

I hurriedly opened the window and shouted with a wicked smile on my face, "Hey, bastard, haha..."

Sun Kai frowned, opened the window and looked downstairs, I laughed and continued to shout: "What about this, you blind bastard." ”

Sun Kai raised his head and searched for a while before he locked his eyes on my face, he sprinkled some water out of the window with a watering can, and scolded with a smile: "Your grandson, when did you come back?" ”

I leaned on the window and said, "It's been half a month since I came back." ”

"Fart, I went to your house yesterday, you talk everywhere and leak air, go downstairs, drink."

He put the watering can on the windowsill and threw the cigarette in his mouth downstairs.

I glared at him and said loudly, "It's closed everywhere, come to my house and drink, and call Xiao Qing." ”

"Go with Brother Kai, there is a lot of wine, don't be verbose, get dressed and go downstairs."

After he finished speaking, he closed the window, I went back to the bedroom stupidly, put on my clothes, and called Xiao Qing again, she didn't answer, I guess she was busy, I haven't seen her for a long time, I really miss her.

In the winter in the north, it is cold and makes people panic, the streets here are lined with snow, pedestrians are scarce, there are many cars, the sky is gray, sprinkled with a touch of light without temperature, the large and small shops have closed down, only a few vendors, still peddling New Year's goods.

Sun Kai and I hailed a taxi, knowing that if we bumped into him, we would definitely not drink less, so neither of us drove.

"Xiao Qing doesn't seem to have something to do, and she didn't answer the phone."

I muttered, glanced at Sun Kai again, and saw that he was lowering his head and typing, as if he was very engaged, and a wicked smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

I whispered, "Who, Mengxi?" ”

"Oh, uh, uh, no."

He said in a hesitant manner, which made me confused, and I instantly understood, squinted at him and said, "Little lover? Little three? Little beauty? Schoolgirl? Female subordinates? ”

Sun Kai stuffed his phone into his pocket, patted me and said, "Don't spray feces all over your mouth." ”

He pointed to an intersection in front of him, looked at the driver and said, "Master, stop ahead." ”

It's a very modest restaurant, with a shabby décor, sparse clientele, and a stumbling owner, a woman in her sixties, full of flowery hair and a staggering step.

I frowned and said, "You're talking about this restaurant?" That's too unsightly, isn't it? ”

"Okay brother, don't pick fat and thin, it's not easy to find a restaurant for the New Year, drink the bar with peace of mind."

The two of us sat down by the window on the second floor and ordered a few home-cooked dishes, spicy tofu, spicy shredded pork, braised hairtail, and deep-fried tenderloin.

"See, you can't just look at the surface of anything, people can't look good, the sea water can't fight, you see this shop is in tatters, but the dishes are a must, you can't find anything wrong."

Sun Kai drank most of the glass of liquor in one go, lit another cigarette and said, "How is your relationship with Xinyan?" Didn't you come back together for the New Year? ”

"Why is this the problem when everyone sees me?"

I took a sip of wine with a displeased face, and after putting down the glass, I added, "She went abroad to accompany the old witch, and she will come back after the New Year." ”

Sun Kai took a puff of his cigarette and said thoughtfully: "Then what about your shop, when will it open?" ”

"After the New Year, it hasn't been renovated yet."

The two of us greeted each other one by one, the two bottles of liquor soon bottomed out, Sun Kai drank with a red face, his tongue was straight, he frequently picked up his mobile phone, and chatted on WeChat.

Wang Ling sent me a video call, I answered in a daze, she was lying on the bed, covered with a quilt, looking a little haggard, her cheeks were not decorated by any powder, but she could still see the unusual charm.

I rubbed my cloudy eyes and wondered, "Why haven't you gotten up yet?" ”

"I'm sick with a cold, come back quickly."

She turned sideways, fixed the phone in the corner of the bed, and covered herself tightly with the quilt, leaving only that delicate face, which was cute and delicate.

I smiled bitterly and whispered, "I've just arrived home, and I'll go back after the New Year, you take care of yourself." ”

Sun Kai put down his mobile phone, walked over with a wicked smile on his face and said, "Yo, it's so beautiful." ”

"Fuck off."

I kicked him, but Sun Kai said nonchalantly: "You're not afraid that I will tell Xinyan?" ”

Wang Ling said weakly: "Don't be afraid." ”

Sun Kai laughed, pulled a stool and sat beside me, stared at Wang Ling on the screen, and began to ask questions, with a spring breeze on his face.

I glared at him fiercely, and said angrily: "You are fifty steps and a hundred steps of laughter, let's both be each other, from the moment you sit here, you have been chatting with a girl like crazy, as if I am the light bulb that does not know the depths." ”

Sun Kai was full of wine, he stood up slowly, and said unhurriedly: "On the road to success, there will always be a few confidantes, it is not easy to be a man, there is nothing wrong with this." ”

I turned off the video call, glared at Sun Kai and said, "But I feel guilty." ”

Sun Kai sneered a few times, helped me pick up a bottle of beer, sat down opposite me and said: "If you think like this, then you don't have to, because you are not married, you can't be considered cheating, but I am indeed the out-and-out Yanagi Hui who can't bear loneliness, because I am married, Mengxi belongs to the kind of virtuous and dignified woman who makes you look at it without passion." ”

He poured a glass of beer, bumped into me, and said with a sinister eyebrow: "So, you have to take advantage of the fact that you are not married to Xinyan, indulge yourself, and don't have any burden in your heart." ”

"Phew, you don't say anything."

I took a big sip of beer, burped, and said with a sad face: "To be honest, this matter, I really dare to tell you, no one will support me to go to find flowers and willows, and do nonsense, but I am very entangled now." ”

After hearing this, Sun Kai put down the wine glass, leaned over his face and said, "Are you really emotional?" ”

I didn't say anything, picked up the beer bottle and poured wine into the cup, the wine foam overflowed, dripping on the table, I wiped it with a tissue, and muttered: "It's this kind of damned, inexplicable feelings, that makes me upset, I'm afraid that if I really get together with Wang Ling, it will hurt Xinyan's feelings, if I choose to marry Xinyan, Wang Ling may have to die or live to find a short-term view, I fucking know what is true and fake, right and wrong, I think now, if I didn't leave my hometown at the beginning, Maybe you won't encounter such a helpless thing. ”

I was drunk and started talking nonsense, maybe after a hangover the next day, I can't remember what I said that day, but this impromptu and angry drinking game really let me release my long-suppressed emotions vividly.

Sun Kai leaned back in his chair and sneered, "You're really greedy." ”

"I don't want to."

I retorted weakly, grabbed the bottle, and drank most of the beer.

Sun Kai let out a long sigh, looked at me and said: "Xinyan and you are sincere, everyone can testify, but this woman is the first time I have seen her, I don't know her, and I won't comment on her, what happened to you with her outside has nothing to do with me, but..."

He lit another cigarette, took a puff lightly, and said with a red face: "But, it's you who make the choice, if you move your true feelings and can't let go of your hands, then cut through the mess quickly, don't play with other people's feelings, if you don't know whether it's love or love, then I can't help you." ”

I whispered: "The affectionate peony contains spring tears, and the powerless rose nest Xiaozhi..."

"What?"

Sun Kai raised his eyebrows, seeing that I was reciting scriptures, that lonely and demented look made him feel like a complete madman now.

I said curtly: "I don't have a score in my heart, because I am worried about the two women, I keep cutting, and the reason is messy, but the paper can't contain the fire, and after all, it will be in broad daylight, just like you." ”

"What's wrong with me? Since I was a child, I have been the hardest-working, hard-working one, I have been promoted and raised by ability, and I have embraced left and right with ability. ”

Sun Kai threw away the cigarette butt in his hand and stood up with a hula, the irrepressible anger and annoyance did not frighten me.

"You're still virtuous, your home is here, your roots are here, your soul will be buried here in the end, you can't escape."

I laughed to myself, a little hideous and bitter.

"You're crazy, you're crazy."

Sun Kai sat down and muttered softly, he was like a walking dead who had lost his soul, his eyes were as big as light bulbs, and he didn't know what was squirming in his mouth, but I knew that it must be an insulting swear word to me.

The table was full of staggered, the ground was in a mess, the beer bottles were poured horizontally in the corner, a few dishes that had already cooled down, there were white oil stains solidified on them, Sun Kai was lying on the table and had completely fallen asleep, I salivated, stood up with difficulty, and helped him out of the restaurant.

The cold wind outside the house whistled, and it did not blow away the smell of wine on our bodies, but the cold touch made my stomach twitch violently, and the pain of turning over the river and the sea and tearing my heart and lungs made me cry and cry myself.