If you know anything about depression, it is not difficult to know the meaning of the big black dog.

Lu Yi didn't know if the big black dog painted by Xiao Fei was the same as the kittens and flowers he usually painted. Still, this big black dog is actually a lingering shadow that is entangled in Xiao Fei's heart every day.

Does the big black dog painted by Xiao Fei also mean that he is asking for help from the world?

The more Lu Yi thought about it, the more he couldn't sit still, he stood up and began to pace back and forth in Sanping's living room.

It was 3:40 a.m., and Xiao Fei had already fallen asleep. Lu Yi originally planned to sit in the living room and read a book for a while, and fell asleep on the sofa when she was sleepy, in Sanping's house, there were the most books, so much so that a special study room could not fit it, and she had to add a bookcase in the living room, so she barely finished loading her books. Lu Yi always felt that Sanping's home was not popular enough, but it was more than bookish.

In the past, when Lu Yi read a book, he only read two lines, and his eyelids would fight. But tonight I don't know what's going on, I opened the book, the page was obviously Chinese characters, and the big black dog in Xiao Fei's painting book suddenly appeared on the page in front of him, struggling to chase the words.

Lu Yi touched the scar on his neck that had completely healed, which was scratched by Xiao Fei. Looking back now, Lu Yi was still amazed that Xiao Fei, who looked thin and weak at that time, could have such great strength.

That was when he first met Xiao Fei. Sanping went abroad to perform, and she brought Xiao Fei to him for the first time and asked him to help take care of him for more than a month. After sending Sanping away, Lu Yi returned to the studio and saw Xiao Fei staring at the painting he was creating.

"Like to draw?" just asked casually, but when I turned around, I saw that the other party was flushed, and I understood in my heart.

But he never thought that Xiao Fei would be so obsessed with painting, so obsessed that he would steal his painting tools.

Lu Yi, who was woken up by the loud noise, immediately bounced up from the bed, and then rushed to the studio - he left a separate space at home for the studio.

Turning on the light in the studio, he saw Xiao Fei, who was holding the canvas, brushes and paints, standing in the white light, looking at the chair that he had kicked off.

"What are you doing?" Lu Yi was a little confused, he couldn't understand the situation in front of him.

Xiao Fei raised his head when he heard Lu Yi's words. When Lu Yi saw Xiao Fei's eyes, he immediately chuckled in his heart - this kid was stealing things.

But Xiao Fei didn't rush out of the door with the things in his arms, on the contrary, he let go of his hand - the things in his arms immediately fell to the ground - he rushed towards Lu Yi, and pinched Lu Yi's neck with both hands.

Lu Yi fell back to the sofa in the Sanping living room, he pressed the scar scratched by Xiao Fei at that time with his hand, thinking that it would be better to wake up Xiao Fei now and have a good fight with him.

"Silly boy, you might as well come and beat me, it's better than hurting yourself."

When Sanping walked into the bright Italian International Airport, her head was still dizzy, and her ears still seemed to have the thunderous applause in the concert hall.

The show was a success. After shaking hands with the orchestra members and the conductor to say goodbye, Sanping flew to the airport. With an hour to go on the plane, she walked into a fancy café, ordered an espresso and found a random spot.

When her body touched the soft sofa like cotton, the cells in her body that were originally noisy suddenly quieted down. She propped her head in her hands, closed her eyes, and constantly, deeply—inhaled, exhaled, inhaled, exhaled......

This is the café where she and Yonghe have been. This is the country where she met and fell in love with Yonghe.

She could choose other cafes, but she couldn't choose where she wanted to perform. Now that she came—almost forcedly, she walked in.

Similar to masochism, but Sanpei believes that this represents her once again bravely facing the fact that Yonghe has passed away.

"Your violin, it's playing badly." Yonghe looked at Sanping, who was reading a book, and said suddenly.

It was a winter night in the third year of their relationship, and there was goose down snow outside the window, but it was warm inside, but Sanping still wore an exaggerated turtleneck cardigan, leaning on Yonghe, who was only wearing a single coat, holding Maugham's "The Moon and Sixpence" in his hand, and he was fascinated by it.

Yonghe turned his head slightly, and he could see Sanpei's lowered eyes, exuding a charming, focused look, staring closely at the book in front of him, his slender fingers slowly turning the pages. This is an aura that even if you play the violin on stage, you don't have it.

Yonghe said softly: "Your violin, play it badly. ”

Sanping let out a casual "um", and after more than ten seconds, she suddenly sat up straight and turned her head to look at Yonghe in disbelief.

"My violin, do you play badly?" Sanping's voice trembled a little - she started practicing the piano at the age of five, except for the first ten years of her practice, she was constantly beaten by her father, who was also her violin teacher, and said that she played badly, when she went out to compete, perform, and went to study at a special conservatory abroad, no one gave her the evaluation of "violin playing badly" in person.

Yonghe smiled and gently touched Sanping's long and smooth hair with his hand, as if he was saying some lingering love words, and continued: "Yes, the first time I heard you play the violin, I thought you played badly. It's, that kind, you know, it's like somebody standing behind you with a whip, and if you don't pull it, they'll give you a whip; You pull the wrong one, and you will be given another whip. In this case, the sound coming from the violin in your hand can be said to be noise. ”

"You don't belong to that stage, but in this world, there must be a second stage waiting for you."

"...... you heard for the first time?" Sanping remembered that it was a certain performance she had in Italy, and Yonghe, who was originally traveling in Italy, was invited by the organizer to listen to Sanping's performance because of his status as a famous novelist in China. After the performance, Yonghe and the person in charge of the organizer came to the backstage and met Sanping, who was sorting out the violin. That was the first time Sanhei and Yonghe met.

"Did you feel rotten then? Why didn't you tell me earlier? "Sanping's mood is a little complicated. She thought it was incredible, but she couldn't tell where it was; At the same time, she was a little faintly relaxed, why is that? She didn't understand.

She, growing up, didn't quite know what she was thinking.

"I don't think it's necessary. But today, I don't know why, just say it. Yonghe looked at Sanping with a smile, as if he was not afraid that Sanping would be angry at all.

“…… I really can't help you. Sure enough, Sanping just shook his head and returned his attention to the book in his hand.

"However......" He had no intention of stopping the conversation. When Sanpei looked up at him in confusion, he took out a silver shiny thing from the pocket of his pajama pants, and before Sanping could react, he quickly grabbed her right hand, and without saying a word, put the thing on the ring finger of her right hand.

Sanping raised his right hand in surprise, looked at the silver shiny ring ring on his right hand, and was speechless.

"Let's live well together." Yonghe's face was red, but he smiled brightly.

Sanping took away the hand that had been supporting her head, endured the numbness in her hands, and she looked up and blinked her eyes vigorously several times before she could see the time on the wall.

It's time for security. She grabbed the bag beside her, drank the cold cup of coffee, and turned and walked out of the café.

Carefully opened Xiao Fei's door, Xiao Fei, who was covered with a thick quilt and had his eyes tightly closed, was lying on the bed, sleeping peacefully. The scars on the face that were beaten by the senior students before are not as horrific as they were at the beginning, but they are still very conspicuous. Sanping stood at the door, holding the door frame with his hand, and did not approach, but just looked at his adopted son who was breathing evenly and with a calm face from a distance. Unconsciously, it turned out that he had been infected with the unique temperament of a teenager, between immaturity and maturity, with two thick eyebrows and thin lips, which originally grew on a baby's fat face, which looked cute and extraordinary. Now, the baby fat is slowly fading, the face is gradually showing sharp edges and corners, and the thick eyebrows and thin lips have added a few points of juvenile heart to him. Sanping thought to himself, Xiao Fei's silhouette was the same as his biological father, but the charm of his eyes was so similar to his biological mother.

Xiao Fei's biological mother's eyes, no matter what time they are, are like a pool of gentle blue lakes, rippling in the depths of their eyes, exuding a gentle and peaceful light.

It was a soft white light that slowly dispelled the huge shadow that Xiao Fei's father had brought to Xiao Fei.

Xiao Fei, bathed in this light, has a distinct love and a distinct hate. And when the light was suddenly extinguished, the nightmarish darkness overwhelmed him once more. This time the submersion robbed him of his emotions and blurred the boundary between love and hate in his heart.

But still with a little hope, in the later time, shuttled through the cold eyes of relatives. This hope is constantly extinguished, and it is constantly ignited by his own hands. He has lost his light, and he may be losing that hope, but he has always clung to it.

"Coming back?" Lu Yi appeared behind Sanping and asked softly.

Sanping withdrew his thoughts and gaze, turned around and closed the door gently, smiled apologetically at Lu Yi, and pointed to the living room.

"This time, really, thanks to you, I wouldn't know what to do." After Sanping sat down opposite Luyi, he hurriedly said.

"Don't talk about these, I've been friends for many years, and I'm still seeing each other like this. Besides, Xiao Fei and I are already good friends now, and my good friend is sick, of course I have to take good care of it. Lu Yi said as he took the cushion that was originally placed on the single sofa from behind and handed it to Sanping, who took it and put it on his lap.

Lu Yi didn't like the feeling of cushions on his back, and he suddenly remembered that when Yonghe was still alive before, there was a big sofa in their living room that could sit four people at the same time. And when Yonghe passed away, Sanping sold the big sofa he picked up with Yonghe at home, replaced it with a few single sofas, and put it in the living room.

"When Xiao Fei wakes up, let's go out to eat, shall we?" Lu Yi proposed, "Don't cook either, you just came back from a rush, and you didn't have a good rest." ”

When Sanping returned home and finally sat on the soft single sofa, she finally felt tired. She nodded, agreeing to Lu Yi's proposal.

Then there is a complete loss of consciousness. The winter sun shrouded her warmly, and she breathed long, but her brow could not be stretched.

Lu Yi looked at Sanping, who was asleep, and then turned his head to look at the courtyard, the leaves that were swaying up and down in the wind, and his brows were furrowed tightly.