Sanping felt that her state was much better - it was only at this moment that she knew that she had already lived once.

Many times, in a room covered with golden sunlight, she typed on the computer, looked up, and found that there was only her and the wind in the house. She listened intently to the movement of the yard, and heard the sound of birds bouncing gently on the eaves and bouncing away; Hear the sound of the wind gently crashing against the branches and thick leaves of the trees; Outside the fence, I heard the sounds of cars passing by, children running by, and horns sounding...... Every now and then, she was in a trance, and she remembered the violin she had played for a long, long time, and now she had never even touched it; She remembered her father, who still couldn't understand her last meeting; She remembered the pale hospital room when she opened and closed her eyes, and the monotonous, boring days, like the mottled walls of the ward, lifeless; She thought of Lu Yi, Granny Yu, Xiao Fei, and Yu Yun, and she felt very lucky. In the end, she thought of Yonghe, and she felt that she was still not lucky enough.

Why can't my life be filled with another eternal peace? Why?

From the start of treatment to the doctor's approval for discharge; From the beginning of writing to the publication of a number of novels and poems one after another, Sanpei has never stopped asking himself this question in the process. She knew it was an unanswered question, but she couldn't help but ask, like a stubborn old man clinging to something that others thought they shouldn't be holding onto.

A knock on the door interrupted Sanpei's thoughts. She turned her head to look at the door for a moment before running to open it. It was Lu Yi, who stood outside the door, carrying a full dish in one hand. Sanping took a closer look and saw a fish jumping around, the scales on its body glowing in the sun.

"Why didn't you tell me in advance?" Sanping was a little irritable, but he still turned sideways and let Lu Yi into the house.

Lu Yi stuck out his tongue, "I'll pay attention next time." ”

"Preferably. If you come over next time without saying hello like this, you see if I let you in. Sanping was the first to turn around and enter the house, and Lu Yi closed the door with a smile.

Sanping also felt that his temper was getting bigger and bigger. If she had anything uncomfortable before, she would have endured it at most, and maybe she would have a smile on her face. Now it doesn't work, the smile on her face is becoming more and more unstable, and she often speaks out about the things that make her uncomfortable - hard, unsparing, and embarrassing to the other party.

But there's no denying that she's obsessed with that feeling – and that's pretty cool, too!

Lu Yi put the dishes on the counter and said to Sanping, who stepped forward and rummaged through the fresh ingredients in the plastic bag, "I will make fish for you and Xiao Fei to eat tonight." ”

"Okay." Sanping responded casually. After about five seconds, she frowned, "Isn't that good?" It's going to bother you a lot. ”

Lu Yi only needs to tilt his head slightly to see Sanping's lowered eyelids. Outside the courtyard, the clouds in the sky drifted over, just blocking the sunlight, and the room was dark for a while, and her face was in the half-light and half-darkness that he could reach. Lu Yi took a deep breath, and when Sanping turned his head strangely to look at him, his mouth was one step faster than his head, "I can take care of you like this all the time." ”

"What?" The clouds drifted away, and the sunlight poured in from outside again. Lu Yi clearly saw Sanping's puzzled expression.

The string in his head finally caught up with his mouth, and Lu Yi found that his face was hot. He turned around, turned his back to Sanping, turned on the faucet, and began to wash his hands.

"What did you mean by that?" Sanping went around to the front of Lu Yi and stared at Lu Yi. Lu Yi lowered his head, constantly rubbing his hands that were not dirty in the water flowing from the faucet, and began to miss Sanping before he entered the hospital for treatment - Sanping at that time, he would not pursue or investigate, at least on the surface, she was slow to accept a lot of care and love from him.

The current Sanping is no longer dull, just holding a heart so loudly, in the sun, in the wind and rain.

Getting along with such a Sanping, Lu Yi can no longer be as open-mouthed as before.

But he didn't want to go on like this.

Lu Yi turned off the faucet and propped his hands on the side of the pool. He raised his head and looked directly into Sanping's eyes, "Meaning, I like you, I like you very much, and I want to take care of you all the time." ”

At this night's dinner, Xiao Fei felt that something was wrong, and he could clearly detect who was wrong.

The dishes are very delicious - the fish is steamed very deliciously, the cabbage sum is also very sweet, the soybean and pig's trotter soup is very thick, the white rice is also fragrant, it is a very simple and homely dinner, Xiao Fei is very satisfied. But when he raised his head from his eyes full of satisfaction, he saw Lu Yi and Sanping, who were extremely embarrassed tonight.

There is still interaction, but I always feel that the body movements of the two are too stiff. Xiao Fei stared at the two of them strangely for a while, and a thought suddenly flashed through his mind. He looked at Lu Yi incredulously, and Lu Yi glanced at him, then nodded heavily.

Xiao Fei suddenly felt funny, he shrugged his shoulders and continued to bury his head in picking fish bones.

After dinner, Sanpei said that he wanted to continue writing novels, pushed the dishes and chopsticks, and entered the room. Lu Yi looked blankly at the position where Sanping had just left, then raised his head and said to Xiao Fei, who had already stood up to clean up the table, "It's over." ”

"I always wonder if you're too worried." Xiao Fei didn't raise his head, "If you like it, you confess, there are no more than two results - she refused or she accepted." What is there to worry about, it doesn't prove anything. ”

"It's not that I'm thinking too much, it's that I'm thinking too simply." Lu Yi also stood up, helped Xiao Fei pick up the bowls, and took them to the sink, "She and I have been friends for more than ten years. If she rejected me, not only would I lose a girlfriend, I would have lost a good friend. I can't accept this loss, it's too painful. ”

"What if?" Xiao Fei stopped brushing the dishes, "She hasn't explicitly rejected you yet?" ”

Lu Yi shook his head.

"And how did she react?"

"Just ......" Lu Yi leaned aside and watched Xiao Fei wash the dishes, "I didn't say anything." After I confessed to her, she said she wanted to read a book and went into the room. As soon as I cooked the meal, you came back and she came out of the room. ”

Xiao Fei frowned. Lu Yi suddenly went crazy, "Why do I want to say this to a kid who has never been in love!" ”

"How do you know I'm not in love?" Xiao Fei glanced at Lu Yi, and Lu Yi was stunned.

"You study hard first and pass the college entrance examination, okay?" Lu Yi is really crazy.

Xiao Fei couldn't help but laugh. Lu Yi paused and covered his face with his hands.

"Okay, okay, I'm not going to tease you." Xiao Fei finally stopped laughing, "She will definitely give you an answer, sooner or later." Now, you just let her be quiet. She's just come out of the hospital, you can't ask her to admit anything right away, it's too fast and too urgent for her. ”

Lu Yi quieted down, he thought about Xiao Fei's words, and nodded. Then, he stretched out his long arms, hugged Xiao Fei from behind, and hugged him.

"What are you doing?!"

"You're so sensible, I like you so much~"

"Fuck off!"

Sanban was lying on the bed without a quilt. She listened to the sound of Xiao Fei and Lu Yi talking outside the door for a while, raised her right hand, and rubbed her eyes.

Until she heard the sound of Lu Yi closing the door after saying goodbye; the sound of Xiao Fei running into his room and running out of the room; Finally there was the sound of the bathroom door shut, and water rushing out of the shower—she slowly sat up from the bed, got out of bed, opened the door and walked to the living room, sat down on the sofa in front of the bookshelf, and began to think about the afternoon.

It was only when Lu Yi confessed so frankly that she could finally explain the faint doubts about Lu Yi in her heart. She is a very introverted person. Even after receiving treatment for depression, her physical perception and emotional feelings, which had been sealed for more than 30 years, finally opened up a little, but no matter how brave she tried to express herself, this personality trait of hers still did not change.

In fact, except for Yonghe, which appeared later, Sanping has no friends who can talk. Lu Yi is very active and lively, but she still can't match the young man who studied with her in the past with Lu Yi in front of her. In her impression, Lu Yi has always been the same as in the previous years, and it has not changed.

So, self-righteously, she thought that Lu Yi just regarded her as the Sanping when she was studying before. This is the love of classmates, not love.

But on the other hand, Lu Yi is not a perfect actor. Sometimes, his gaze is too hot; Sometimes, his breathing was clearly audible - even if he felt a little strange, Sanping still didn't think much about it - how could she think too much about it before, she didn't even dare to think about her own affairs, let alone facing the road.

In this way, she rationalized everything about Lu Yi.

Sanping never thought that when she buried her head and seemed to be "processing" Yonghe's departure, but in fact she was busy working, Lu Yi was no longer the boy he used to be, he had grown into a person with dreams, hopes, ambitions, and desires. His love for her is getting more and more day by day, so much so that he no longer wants to bother to hide it, and he no longer wants to stand still, but looks at her eyes in a daze and confesses everything about himself.