Her grandparents died early, and when she was a child, she had no one to take her, so she always followed her cousin. My cousin was five years older than her, and the two of them went to mow the grass together, and my cousin always helped her to mow first and then her own; When she was in the fifth grade, her cousin used the money she earned when she first went to work to buy her beautiful stationery, telling her that she must study hard, and that she must not be like herself. She learned sewing machines at her cousin's house during the summer vacation of her second year of junior high school, and when she had her first menstrual period, she was scared and cried, and her cousin comforted her and taught her how to use sanitary napkins; She entered the hospital with appendicitis in her first year of high school, and her cousin heard the news and rushed to Zhenze Hospital directly after finishing the night shift from Shengze; At the beginning of the second year of high school, I didn't know what kind of strange disease she had, and my cousin was anxious like an ant on a hot pot all day long; She once suspected that her cousin was not satisfied with Li Ping the first time, but it was only because she heard that his mother worked in the hospital that she was willing to go to Suzhou with Li Ping a second time, so that she could take her to the doctor. Thinking of the poem "Peacock Flying Southeast" to her cousin, her cousin asked her curiously, what is the self-hanging southeast branch, and after listening to her explanation, she leaned forward and leaned back with laughter: The ancients were so funny, they said hanging death so well, I laughed to death. Unexpectedly, this time my cousin hung herself on the southeast branch. In this way, it is even more sad and painful.

Auntie helped her up: It has nothing to do with you, it's her bad life. But soon, the aunt also burst into tears. It was hot, and the body could not be kept at home for a long time, and soon, my cousin was transported to the Pingwang crematorium. The twenty-seven-year-old cousin was gone, turned into ashes. She felt like she had been hollowed out.

When she returned to Suzhou, her mood was also difficult to calm down, and she was sad and cried when she thought about it. Early in the morning of the 25th, she suddenly came with an "old friend", a lot of volume and abdominal pain, didn't she have it, it stands to reason that she will not have menstruation again, Li Ping hurriedly took her to the hospital, and it was a natural abortion after examination. Fear of what comes! Li Ping comforted her that it should be the reason why she was sad these days, and we will still have it in a few days. However, she had a hunch that her pregnancy would not go well. Sure enough, until the end of 06, her stomach still didn't bulge, but her menstruation was more disordered, and there were a few times, but the amount was a bit too much, and her stomach hurt a little. Although the degree was milder than the last spontaneous abortion, and she did not test positive with the early pregnancy test strip before, it still made her a little panicked: she was not pregnant, but she had gynecological diseases. So when this happened again, the two went to the hospital again. After a check, I was shocked, and the doctor said that she had a spontaneous miscarriage again.

She didn't believe it, and said that she didn't measure it with a test strip. The doctor asked her how many days of sex she had on average, and after listening to her for three days, the doctor shook his head: "How often do you let the fertilized egg implant?" I still suspect that your cervical erosion has been in the third degree, and after examining her lower body, I said that the cervical erosion was unexpectedly not very serious, but her uterus was small and she was prone to miscarriage. Then I asked her if her menstruation had always been irregular, and she said that since she had seen hyperthyroidism, it was quite regular until the first spontaneous abortion. The doctor asked her to check whether the hyperthyroidism had recurred, and the results were normal.

Anyway, the result of this examination is that she has habitually miscarried, and it is difficult to conceive. The cause may be frequent sex, her uterus is underdeveloped, or both. She weakly asked the doctor if the uterine dysplasia could be optimistic, the doctor said that since you had normal menstruation before, then try it with medication first, but remember, you must wait for normal menstruation before having intercourse, the later the better, the less the number of times, the better, generally after conception It takes more than 40 days to have a reaction, you have a habitual miscarriage, you don't take it easy, how can you get pregnant.

After more than half a year, her menstruation was normal, but people began to gain weight, which Li Ping attributed to the reason for those drugs. She doesn't care, as long as she can give birth to a baby smoothly, she strictly follows the doctor's instructions, and after having sex once, at least let Li Ping touch her again after two months.

On the evening of the thirtieth day of the Chinese New Year's Eve, when he went to his grandparents' house for Chinese New Year's Eve dinner, Li Ping suddenly told everyone that he went to the hospital to investigate, it was his problem, and now the only way is artificial insemination, but this is not sure to be successful. Li Ping's grandfather thought about it for a long time and said, forget it. On the way home, she was very angry: even if it gives the old people a glimmer of hope, it's good, you have completely disappointed them like this! And in the Chinese New Year's Eve, do you still want everyone to have a good year?

"You can't always live for someone else, can you? I think you're a little crazy for the sake of your children, and we should live for ourselves! ”

"Grandparents are someone else, my own children are someone else, so I'm someone else, right?" She was aggressive.

"That's not what I meant."

"That's what you mean, you're so selfish! Well, from now on, let's live for ourselves. ”

"Am I selfish? Will selfishness take the blame on oneself? Before I had sex with you, I was afraid of hurting you, I was cautious and suppressed myself, and now you have to have sex once in more than two months, who is selfish? I'm so good to you, you can't feel it! You're unreasonable! Li Ping was also annoyed, and when he got home, he hid in a small room.

Good? What's good? Isn't your good just for the purpose of having sex with you? Her heart was cold.

The next day, according to the custom, I was going to my grandparents' house to pay New Year's greetings. However, it was half past ten, and the door of the small room had not yet opened, so she had to go to the two old men alone. When grandpa saw her, he barely squeezed out a smile: Xiao Yang, you are still young, if you want to leave, we will not stop you.

She swallowed tears in her stomach: As long as you don't chase me, I won't leave.

After lunch, when I returned home, Li Ping was not there. But the soup dumplings she got down in the morning were still in the pot, and she couldn't help crying: what a reunion, he doesn't even want to see me now, and he won't accompany me back to his parents' house tomorrow to pay New Year's greetings. With tears in my eyes, I went to the south gate to buy some children's toys and clothes, and then waited for the last train at the south bus station and returned to my hometown.

The reason why I wanted to get home later was because, in the past, when Li Ping came back with her, he drove the van from the store directly to the door of the house, so although some people in the village were already curious about why she had been married for so long and had not been pregnant, they saw that their husband and wife were very affectionate, so they didn't come to meddle in their affairs; If they go back early this time, when they see her coming back alone, they probably can't help but ask if she was driven back by her husband's family because she couldn't have children. How do you ask her to answer? Say yes, she's not dead yet, and she's not driven back! Say no, then why did one person come back?