"Don't get it, stand aside, don't get in the way!"

"Hmm!"

The pot next to it was about to catch fire, and the grass was still slowly washing the garlic. Cao'er's mother couldn't bear it anymore, snatched the garlic seedlings from Cao'er's hand, put them under the faucet and flushed them, cut them into small pieces with her hands and feet, and threw them into the pot.

Cao'er held her mouth aggrievedly, she didn't go, she didn't go, she didn't go, she stood by the side.

"You said that you're in the fifth grade, and you don't distinguish between onions and garlic, so let you go to the vegetable field to pull a green onion, and you will pull the garlic back!"

……

"What use do you say?!"

Cao'er Niang looked at Cao'er who was standing silently on the side, and she was even more angry.

"Look at your good daughter, you can't even tell the difference between onions and garlic when she's so old!"

Cao'er Niang watched Cao'er's father come in from the living room, and couldn't help but count her father together.

Cao'er's father didn't say anything when he heard it.

Cao'er vaguely felt a little hurt to her self-esteem, thinking in her heart, grandma has always taught herself little by little, always in such a depressing atmosphere, who can do things well?

She couldn't help but think of last weekend, when her father and mother slept until eleven o'clock and didn't get up, she stood in front of the corridor in front of the living room door, not knowing what to do, and waited for more than two hours. If you get up late, you will be stabbed. But it doesn't seem to work if you get up early, the early meals are all on top of the cupboard, and the grass is so low that you can't take it off at all.

I had no choice but to stand in the corridor and wait. Fortunately, a colleague of my father came over and saw her standing, and when he asked if he couldn't get food to eat, he helped her take down the food and warm it up.

At lunchtime, this colleague mentioned this incident, but Cao Erniang said:

"Who told you not to cook?! If you don't know how to cook, you have to do it! ”

Cao'er continued to bow her head and pick up the rice without saying a word, and continued to wash the dishes honestly after eating.

She remembered that her father had said in private that it would be inconvenient for her to take care of her food, clothing, housing and transportation in the future. That means you have to listen to your mother.

Well, this is all heard, but Cao'er's fear has not diminished in the slightest.

Cao'er's mother also dated Cao'er, hoping that the mother and daughter could get closer.

But no matter what the reasoning is, Cao'er listens well, but it can't do anything. Cao'er Niang is also helpless.

But if you say that the grass is not good, the grass mother doesn't think so in her heart:

This child is extremely kind-hearted, even eating vegetables, delicious food, she is reluctant to eat more, always leave it to her parents to eat, only when everyone has finished eating, and the leftovers, she will eat what she wants to eat. And when it comes to doing things, as long as the child determines what should be done, she will definitely insist on it. said that washing the dishes after meals every day, since Cao'er's mother said it once, this is Cao'er's initiative to do a fixed job, no matter what her parents say about her, how unhappy she is, she will clean up the dishes and chopsticks after eating, and it has not been changed until she is an adult.

Then again, Cao'er's mother and Cao'er's father never said that they couldn't eat at the table, but she was usually reluctant to sit around the table with her parents to eat.

But Cao'er is very good to her mother. She went to the river to wash clothes, and heard people talking about her mother's lack of good treatment for her daughter, so she ran back to comfort her mother and asked her not to take it to heart.

And no matter what Cao'er's mother or her father says about her, she doesn't talk back, and she still does the work she should do. But it is this child who is too slow to do things, too clumsy in his hands, and very silent, often unhappy, and seems to be a wordless resistance. Cao Erniang was thinking that maybe her daughter was not biological, and it was still difficult to accept herself.

Sometimes, she really wished that when she blamed Cao'er, she could say a word back and let herself know what she was thinking.

But in fact, Cao'er has an extremely forbearant kindness, silently thinking about adults. She doesn't contradict her parents because she naturally feels that she shouldn't contradict her parents as a child, and she doesn't want her already angry parents to be even more angry because of her rejection.

She loves her grandmother who has pulled her up since she was a child, and emotionally, she is also the closest to her grandmother. But, in the same way, she also loves all the people in her family. In her heart, she cares equally about whether every relative is living well, and she treats every relative equally.

Every Spring Festival night since she moved, Cao'er packed up all the dishes and chopsticks, and before going to bed, she would silently recite the names of every loved one she knew in her heart, wishing them happiness and health in the coming year. Once she misses a relative, she will definitely do it all over again, and feels as if she is sorry for that relative, why did she miss her.

Cao'er's delicate kindness is not understood by many people. She is not easy for people to understand, including the teachers in the school, she never greets when she meets, and even when the teacher takes the initiative to greet her, she often walks over with her head down, and she should not even say a word. Her self-isolation made the teachers feel that she was really introverted, but the kindness on her face overflowed with her heart, but everyone around her couldn't help but pity her.

It's just that as she gets older, she begins to have her own thoughts and tempers. When her mother sometimes called her stupid or blamed her for not doing her well enough, and didn't like her to go back to her hometown, her self-esteem began to be hurt and she felt that she was not understood.

Her parents hoped that she could argue even if she was dissatisfied, but she longed in her heart for her parents to be close to her. She longed for her father to say a word to her, even if it was to beat her.

She hoped that her mother would be more gentle with her and not talk to her about those things. Those truths are good, but she still doesn't understand, after listening to it is still in the clouds, she still feels afraid and overwhelmed, she only hopes that when she can speak, it is okay to hold her hand, hug her shoulder, and pat her shoulder, so that she will be free to communicate with adults to inquire when she does not understand.

As long as she uses enough warm body language to eliminate her cold fear of her parents, in fact, whether it is slowness or initiative, it will be completely different.

But she really didn't know how to communicate with her relatives to express her emotional needs, so she had to sulk in her heart while not talking back to her parents according to reason when she was blamed by her parents, and she was angry with her parents and herself.

The love and love between Cao'er and her parents is misplaced in this way: her parents feel that they have tried their best to reason and educate her, but she does not understand the reason at all, and her heart only blindly longs for the emotional and physical language closeness of her parents.

Cao'er plays a one-man game in her fantasy ideal home every night: Cao'er is both the father and mother in that family, and the father and mother's children. Cao'er also often re-enacts the scene of Bai Bainiang's blame for herself in the fantasy play house.

For example, when the children of the ideal family are washing vegetables, the pot is about to catch fire, and the mother who cooks will say:

"Ah, haven't you washed it yet? It's okay, it's okay, mom will help you wash it, you see how mom washes it first, and next time you have to wash it faster! ”

The child will happily reply, "Ah, Mom, I'm sorry, I washed slowly, next time I will wash faster." ”

In order to wash the dishes quickly and cleanly, the child will also ask his mother for advice in his leisure time, practice a few more times, or practice secretly, or let his mother guide him to practice until he reaches the standard. And the mother will be like a grandmother, she will hug the child when she has nothing to do, or take the initiative to hold the child's hand wherever she goes, and she will be intimate.

But in reality, her father and mother almost never held her hand, and their harsh criticism in telling them to do housework made Cao'er disgusted with housework since she was a child.

She hated housework and felt that housework was not as important as studying, and it was simply costing her life.

This kind of disgust for housework, to a large extent, is because the teacher is clearly taught step by step in learning, whether it is at school or at home, no one interferes with the accusation, she is relaxed and happy, unlike housework, she is always controlled, when she does it, she is worried that she will not be satisfied with her parents if she does not do it well, and when she does not do it, she is worried that she will be blamed by her parents for being lazy when she has nothing to do, which always makes her entangled and bored.

But her parents think that she is lazy and clumsy, and they should train her, otherwise, how can they run a family in the future? Cao'er and her parents have never been able to understand each other, and they have always been back-to-back with their daughter.

And the consequences of this are not just the boredom of the grass or the disgust of housework. What's even more profound is that Cao'er's fear of this real world that was born in her heart since she was a child has not been alleviated by the existence of her parents, but has intensified.

At the same time, because of her idealistic genes, she longs for the warmth and understanding of her parents for their children in the TV series, and this kind of desire that she can't think of, and she doesn't know what kind of causal seeds will be planted in Cao'er's heart.

Moreover, Cao'er's many talents were suppressed in the family environment that made Cao'er full of tension, anxiety, panic, boredom, helplessness, and helplessness.

Of course, there is sunshine at home, and my mother will also have times to encourage her, or to be kind to her, and even her favorite classmates, my mother will also be warm at home. But these are too weak light compared to the shadows that grass has born because of her home, and it cannot awaken and release the enthusiasm and sunshine that are hidden in Cao'er's heart, and Cao'er is still trapped in the emotional swamp of anxiety and depression in her heart.

Indeed, for children before the age of 12, parents are more likely to have clear instructions or drives for them to do things, enough physical contact with their children, and enough tolerant and warm family emotional atmosphere. Otherwise, it can easily backfire and form a vicious circle.

For example, if Cao'er Niang can go against the norm and not accuse her daughter of being slow, she can help her gently when she is slow, and then still talk and laugh with her to help her let go of her mental burden. Or for the things that I want her to do well, I can do it with her, and give her a good emotional atmosphere in the process of gradually doing a good job, then, when Cao'er does things no longer focus on worrying about whether the result is appropriate, but concentrates on the process of doing things itself, and is naturally in a relaxed state.

Then the enthusiasm and sunshine hidden in the child's heart will be released, her talent will naturally be revealed, and her parents will guide her according to her revealed heavenly father and help her learn to use her spiritual will to control her own talents, and her growth time will not be in vain.

However, grass is grass after all, and she has the tenacity of grass. In order to seek a breakthrough from the current situation of anxiety and boredom at home, Cao'er, who loves to read, in addition to reading the composition books and fairy tales of the big sister and sister next door, also began to read the magazines about family life subscribed by her parents at home.

When ten-year-old Cao'er saw an article saying that the ability to distinguish between right and wrong was relatively weak in pampered children since childhood, she secretly thought to herself that she may have been pampered by her grandmother since she was a child, so she couldn't tell the right and wrong of the contradiction between her parents and her grandmother, and she couldn't tell the right and wrong of the contradiction between herself and her parents. Therefore, the little grass made up her mind to pay more attention to the things around her and improve her ability to distinguish between right and wrong.

Since then, examining oneself through reading books and improving one's abilities in all aspects has become the most important channel for Cao'er.