I stood in the doorway, hesitated for a moment, then raised my hand and knocked on the door.

"Come in—"

The voice inside was a middle-aged man's calm and strong voice, only two words, but people couldn't help but want to bow their heads and surrender.

I knew he couldn't see me, but I bowed down, pushed the door open, and walked inside.

The door of the temple opened as soon as I entered, and when I entered, I realized that there were two soldiers standing behind the door, and when I had fully stepped into the room, the door was immediately closed again.

The palace was covered with thick curtains, and the surrounding doors and windows were all pitch black, even if the sky outside the door was still bright, the room was also pitch black.

There were candles lit in all corners of the room, and the dim light, through the curtains, reflected the shadows of the place, and I stood there for a while before I got used to the light.

In the middle of the curtain, there was a small path that twisted and turned, and the road was very narrow, and I couldn't see where the tail was, and I looked back at the two guards behind me, who stood there silently like sculptures, even without looking at me.

I knew that I had to walk the road ahead.

Moving forward, slowly stepping into this curtain, just a few steps, the entrance behind me is invisible, when I turn back, this road is only the way forward, there is no way back.

The curtain was like a living thing, and every time I took a step forward, it tightened with my steps, and I reached out to touch it, and the seemingly light cloth behind it was so hard that it couldn't be pushed at all.

Not only behind me, but also in front of me, left and right, it's the same.

This curtain, this room, there is a strangeness, but it is such a strangeness, I have to face it, I have to go forward.

There is no way out, there is no way out, you can only move forward, not backward.

Now that I know the result, I no longer look left and right, look forward and backward, just bite the bullet, keep the pace unhurried, and try to move forward calmly.

The curtain seemed to have no focus, and I walked for a long time, but it was still not there.

Just as I was about to collapse, I finally saw a light ahead.

I saw an exit, and I could barely contain my excitement, and I quickened my pace and walked towards the light.

As soon as I stepped into the light, I thought I had finally reached the end, but I didn't expect that I had walked into an illusory dream, a dream that I didn't want to wake up to.

After the light faded around me, I saw the tribe I used to live in, everything was as I remembered, everyone was busy with their own business.

The sun was just right, the breeze was not dry, and I was standing on the edge of the mother river, beside me the livestock grazing with their heads bowed.

Suddenly, something pulled at my trouser legs, and when I looked down, it was a pink doll, about two years old, biting my fingers and babbling at me.

"Auntie, hug-"

This is a boy, his face is pink and cute, and he has a tiger's head, and when he looks into my eyes, he smiles, and when he sees me staring at him, he immediately stretches out his arm and asks me.

"What do you call me?"

Feeling incredulous, I bent down and crouched down in front of him.

"A-Niang, looking for A-Da, hungry-"

The boy sniffed, looked at me aggrievedly, tugged at the corner of my coat, and lowered his head.

"Ah Da, who are you?"

Call me Ah Niang, call Ah Da, isn't this my child with whom?

"Ning'er, it's noon, why don't you go back to eat?"

Someone behind me whispered my name, just one word, and my pupils suddenly shrank, and my eyes quickly filled with tears.

This is my mother's voice, this is my mother, isn't my mother dead?

I turned around in disbelief and turned my head slowly, without blinking my eyes, for fear that in a blink of an eye, this person would disappear from my eyes.

My aunt is really standing in front of me, still the same as before, holding a small tambourine, looking at the doll next to me and laughing, teasing him to see the small drum.

"A-Niang—"

My voice was full of trills.

This is my aunt, my mother-in-law!

"Dudu, come here, come here!"

A-Niang patted the small tambourine, teasing the child next to me, this child, when she saw my A-Niang, was not timid at all, and took a staggering step to chase the drum in her hand.

"Dudu good, are you hungry? If you're hungry, can you take you to eat? ”

A-Niang hugged him, walked back, walked a few steps, and when she turned around, she saw that I was still there, and immediately shouted, urging me, "Ning'er, what are you looking at, let's go back to eat together, it's going to be dark!" ”

Only then did I realize that the sky was still clear just now, and the sunny sky was already dusk, the red glow was burned out, and the night was coming.

I struggled inwardly for a while, and then I took a step and chased them into the depths of the tribe.

It was the annual bonfire festival again, and I saw Ah Da there, the patriarch, Mina, and other familiar faces, all sitting around, singing and dancing.

Ah Tian sat next to me, he was still dark-skinned, but his face was more mature than before, and the doll sat in his arms, pointing to the roasted meat and fruit on the shelf, babbling and babbling.

When I look at Ah Tian, he will look at me very gently and smile, his eyes are intertwined, and I suddenly realize that if nothing happened, then everything now is my life in three years.

It's still our tribe, it's still a familiar clan, it's still a familiar life, I will marry and have children with Ah Tian, we will have our own children, and we will continue to stay together with Ah Da and Ah Niang, living an ordinary and repetitive life.

In the past, I thought that such days were boring and boring, and they were not the excitement and thrilling that I was pursuing.

But now, after my heart has wandered for a while, I sit back among them again, and I am happy, gratified, attached and reluctant, all deeply surrounding me.

All of a sudden, I wanted to live in this fantasy forever, and I was drunk and dreamed of death.

I know that this is just a dream made up for me in the curtain, and I also know that this dream is not real, but on the contrary, my heart just wants to rely on it, that is, it wants to have.

Mother River, tribe, this is the place where I have lived and existed since I can remember, if I can, I really want to accompany it, accompany the people living in this land, look at the clouds and clouds, mountains and rivers.

Reason and emotion constantly impact each other, constantly collide with each other, one of them makes me sober, the other makes me continue to indulge, I am in the midst of this, hesitating, indulging in awakening.

What I don't want is everything in this illusion, and I came here for all that once existed.

Dreams and reality, dreams are illusory, reality is cruel, how to choose, I actually have the answer in my heart.