【16.】

The long-awaited and long-awaited finally came to Shen Duo's birthday, and all kinds of unpleasantness before this can be ignored, such as Hu Wei, such as Mrs. Shen.

And also...... The night before my birthday, I had a special guest.

Liu Xin.

She was calmer than I had expected, sitting on the couch and looking at me with a nonchalant expression.

Shen Duo hasn't come back yet, I told him that I want to invite Liu Xin to come today, he probably wants to leave some time for the two of us, so that's it.

She didn't speak, so I had to break the ice first: "Liu Xin...... I didn't want to hide it from you for so long. I just haven't been able to find the right opportunity to tell you. ”

Perhaps it was such an exculpatory sentence that made her unhappy, she frowned and asked, "Five years, three years of getting along day and night." Sister, you told me you didn't have a chance? ”

"Okay...... At first, I was cowardly, afraid that I would be angry when I knew the truth. ”

"I'm not angry now?" Liu Xin smiled coldly, "Sister, I never thought that it would be you." ”

I was at fault first, and all my words sounded so pale and weak, after all, I was hiding it, after all, I knew her intentions and didn't speak.

"How big of a deal will it be?" Her voice grew louder and louder because of anger, "If you tell me five years in advance, even if you tell me three years in advance, how big of a deal will it be?" Are you when I was a child? Do you and I don't know how to love? Between the trade-offs, are you the only ones who understand? ”

Liu Xin ......, "I was in a hurry to grab her hand, "Don't be like this." ”

She dodged me: "Don't do that? So what should I do, for the past five years I have confided my love to you like a fool, like a clown in the face of your pure love. Do you know how surprised I was when I got your call yesterday? You're my sister! How can you do that! ”

In the face of such questioning, I could not say a word. Every word she said used to be the words I asked myself in my midnight dream, and I couldn't even answer myself, so how could I answer her in a high-sounding way?

"Yes......" she laughed suddenly, "he's always been so special to you, I used to think he was to me...... But it turned out that it was all because of you. ”

"It's my fault, I don't want to quibble with you." My eyes were slightly red, but I was afraid that these tears would be too pretentious at this moment, so I had to force it back, "I don't want to go to this point with you, if I had told you earlier, maybe it wouldn't be like this, but I didn't...... Liu Xin, I can't turn back time, or even if it is really going back in time, I will choose to hide it again. I'm this kind of person, you can say anything, but I also have my own troubles. ”

"Sometimes I envy you, you can say your love unscrupulously, but I can't, you know what kind of person he is, I am three years older than him, and when I toss and turn for my age and family history, no one comes to share my suffering, no one comes to enlighten me unpleasantly. I can't bear not only the guilt of you, but also my sadness. ”

I am not a person who is good at showing vulnerability in front of others, and there are some things that I would rather hide and make myself uncomfortable than listen to others.

But this time is different, I may only say some words that I have suppressed in every way to let Liu Xin understand my difficulties. It is true that I should not hide it in any way, but the beginning of my relationship with Shen Duo is so vague and uncertain for me, how can I express it to Liu Xin?

Did you say to her that Shen Duo stood under the street lamp for a long time, or did she say that the subtle change in the expression on Shen Duo's face every time he saw me?

She probably didn't expect me to say these words, don't look away from me, but her eyes are red: "Anyway, it's all your reason." ”

……

This sentence is too familiar, when I played with Liu Xin when I was a child, I was always so strong-worded, even if it was really my fault, I was cheeky and didn't admit my mistakes, more than ten years have passed...... I still use this trick. But it can no longer be described with such a frivolous word as cheeky, brazen, about that.

I held her hand, and she finally didn't break free again: "Xin Xin, it's my sister's fault." But I don't mean to hurt you, I didn't mean to. ”

She suddenly got into my arms, hugged me and cried out with a "wow": "You bully! You bully people!! ”

I finally couldn't hold back any longer, tears fell one after another, Jiang's mother came over with tea, saw us like this, wanted to persuade but didn't know what to say.

I patted Liu Xin on the back: "Good boy...... I'm still your sister. Are you really annoyed that I can't do it? ”

"When I first heard it, I couldn't believe it." She tugged at my clothes and cried pitifully, "I'm angry, but as soon as I see you...... I just don't think I'm angry. Sister ......"

I finally couldn't say a word again, and lay on Liu Xin's back and cried silently.

I left Liu Xin at home for dinner at night, I kept crying and crying, and then Liu Xin gradually stopped, but I was still shedding tears.

"Sister......" she shook my arm, "why do you look sadder than me?" ”

I couldn't speak, I felt that I was not only wrong, but compared with Liu Xin, how despicable my actions were. This sister, this sister I have always cared for, has always thought in my heart that I am protecting her. And tonight, I feel that the wayward one is always me.

When Shen Duo came back, it was just in time for dinner, and Liu Xin saw him and looked a little restless.

He smiled: "I've wanted to invite you to play for a long time." Your sister has been babbling several times. ”

Liu Xin was a little uncomfortable: "Well......"

Shen Duo has a lot of uncharacteristic words, one moment to talk about this interesting story, and another time to talk about that gossip, which is like two people in his usual life. Liu Xin watched him speak, and the admiration revealed in his expression was impossible to ignore. I sighed, feeling sad and powerless for the first time because of something like this.

It was already past seven o'clock after eating, and Shen Duo said that it was late and asked Liu Xin to stay. She looked at me and nodded in agreement.

When I was in bed at night, I couldn't sleep. Liu Xin beside me didn't have a voice, and after a long time, she suddenly called me: "Sister." ”

"Huh?"

She turned over and looked me squarely, "You don't know how much I envy you. ”

Before I could speak, she added, "I still can't control myself...... Seeing him still makes his heart beat faster, and it feels like he is sixteen years old again. ”

Her hair fell out, and I reached out to help her pull it up.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with liking like this, and I plan to keep liking it." Her eyes were so bright in the dark, exuding a girl's unique light, "But I know that he will be happy when he is with you." Compared to my own happiness...... I want him to be happy. If you don't really like it, I don't want it. ”

"Liu Xin ......" I touched her face, and at this moment, the young and immature face was full of stubbornness and persistence, "Sister wishes you happiness." ”

Her hand covered mine: "Sister, I have loved someone and know what it feels like...... Shen Duo calls you by your name differently than when you call someone else. If you're his happiness......"

Liu Xin's voice was already choked, and tears flowed into my palm: "Then please ...... Be happy forever. I'm just one of his suitors. He has so many suitors, but you are the only one who can stand by his side. …… It's just you. ”

I reached out and took her into my arms, and my heart was filled with guilt and self-blame.

That night, Liu Xin sobbed in my arms until she fell asleep.

That night, I didn't sleep all night.

That night, Shen Duo tossed and turned, lonely and sleepless.

It was the night before his birthday.

It is also the last tranquility before the change comes.