It was a wonderful night, everything was so beautiful, the little couples on the street were playing, and the old people were taking the children of the family for a walk.

The real night life is really beginning, the lively street market is still preparing, everyone is ready to go, to enjoy the joy of life, to enjoy the leisure time in the hard work.

Everything is so "beautiful".

And I, lying on a cold bed, looked at my crippled body, looked at the familiar and unfamiliar walls around me, and my eyes were full of unwillingness.

Why, why, should I have been at the age of spilling my blood to my heart's content, and I could only lie in this cold and lonely room.

Gently picking up the checklist next to me, looking at the trauma that was examined everywhere in my body, I felt extremely hopeless, I felt so helpless, I couldn't feel the beauty of this life.

I tried to resist the damage that the disease did to me, to persevere, to fight it.

But I was defeated, I was defeated, and the tribulations of life and the disdain in the eyes of my family made me have no intention of living.

I struggled to get up, lifted the quilt on my body, got out of bed with difficulty, and walked tremblingly to the window to see this beautiful night life.

But I myself am already useless, and as long as I move my body, it will be like a thousand needles piercing my body, and the pain is incomparable.

Yes!

I shouted.

Looking at my unassuming body, my heart became furious, and a nameless karmic fire rose from my heart.

But I can't help it, I caused all this myself, and I don't have any right to blame others.

I am ashamed of the mistakes made by my youth, and those past events have become unbearable and faded with time.

The mistakes you have made may benefit you for the rest of your life, or they may make you suffer for the rest of your life.

In the process, we have learned a lot, but we have also lost a lot.

The older you get, the more lonely you become, the more lonely you become, the more confused you become.

When I was a child, my friends frolicked and played happily together, and when I grew up, everyone went their own way, walked their own way, and struggled for life, and no one cared about whom.

Occasionally, a small party may also be unhappy because of the issue of interests.

I was confused, really confused, for some reason, when I was only sixteen years old, I seemed to have experienced too many things and understood a lot of truths, which gave me a lot of pressure at that time, like a mountain pressing on me.

Others treat me like a dog, and destroy them.

My relatives treat me like a dog, what a way.

Human nature in this world is as cold as snow, and it hurts to the heart.

I endured the severe pain in my body, staggered to the window, opened the window, and watched the night life.

Looking at the beautiful picture scroll outside the window, looking at it, I was very envious in my heart, thinking about it, tears flowed unconsciously.

I used to be an innocent and innocent child, but where did he go, was he lost because the road was too difficult to walk?

No, it's not.

I used to have a beautiful vision, fantasizing about a harmonious life with my family, no quarrels, no disputes, everything is so beautiful.

But this world is not fair, God is not fair, they all say that good people live a safe life, but why do bad people live for a long time.

God has ruined many people, it has annihilated too much humanity, and how many beautiful families have been scattered.

It ruined a young man who was a teenager in the flower season, and when I was a teenager, I traveled from south to north and enjoyed too much cold eye ridicule.

My heart full of yearning for life also changed, and I stayed up all night, and I thought about it too much at that time, and even counted my whole life into it.

After that, I studied hard so that I could have a happy family and live a happy life without worries.

But this can never be done, because man does not live to enjoy, but to suffer.

Even though I said that, I did it anyway.

In the future, I studied hard and worked hard to do everything well, because I had a belief and a vision of life.

But God doesn't have long eyes, it doesn't look at whether you do or not, it just acts according to its own ideas.

I still remember the lyrics that I used to like.

"I once dreamed of holding a sword to the end of the world and seeing the prosperity of the world."

"Look at the world outside the window, the noisy and bustling night."

The world outside the window was beautiful, and I couldn't see it anymore, so I could only stay in this cold room, enjoying the darkness.

Three months ago, I was diagnosed with various problems, and the doctor said that I only had one month left to do what I loved.

Such......

At least there won't be too many regrets.

When I heard that, I felt like the sky was falling, and it seemed like the end of the world was coming to me.

With such swiftness and sorrow, my heart was so cold that I no longer wanted to do anything, but quietly waited for death to come.

Before that, I had a beautiful girlfriend, a lovely son, and a harmonious family, and at that time, they were the only ones in my world, and they were the only ones left.

My parents once cut off contact with me because of one of my willfulness and never saw each other.

At noon that day, I told my parents about my business plan, boasting that I could make a lot of money, and there was little risk, and I would basically make a sure profit, so that we could enjoy life in the future.

But what about them? Listening to my words, they began to be silent, not knowing what they were thinking, quietly listening to my business plan, without the slightest word, and for some reason, they finally scolded me.

I am so ambitious, I think about good things, and I never think in bad directions.

After listening to my parents' words, my heart felt a little cold for some reason, but at that time, I had strong self-esteem, and I would never allow anyone to question me, and I always felt that my choice was right.

I said to them: Father, Mom, shouldn't people develop in a good direction? Why do you only think about bad results?

What if the bad outcome really came true?

They shook their heads, sighed, and finally took away the funds I was going to start a company, leaving me with no money to start a business.

I was furious and said to them, "Wait, I can build my own business empire from scratch without funds." ”

So the next day, I left the house and vowed never to return home until I broke out of the world.

In this way, I left, crawling in society alone, suffering too much, but the breath in my heart supported me and made me persevere.

Later, I improved a little, but then the busy work made my body worse day by day.

Eventually, the bodily functions reach their limits, and the various organs seem to be rusty, and they stop working and do what they are supposed to do.

When I was hospitalized, the company closed down because no one took care of me, and I was glad at that time, I had a good wife and son, at least they were with me, and I still had a smile on my face.

But then, she ran away and left with one of my brothers who was in business, and my son was also taken with me, and I felt that my innocence had collapsed, and my heart was completely cold, and I could no longer melt.

I don't have the face to go home, otherwise I will only be greeted by cold eyes and mockery, and those disdainful eyes.

Today is my last day in this world, I don't have any nostalgia, and I don't want to be nostalgic, this world is really dirty, everything is so dirty, I really can't be nostalgic.

I slowly walked to the bed and lay down, enjoying this last moment.

After thinking about it so much before, I had a minute left in my time, and slowly my breathing became rapid, and my vision was blurry, and then I looked back at my life, and finally the corners of my mouth rose slightly.

"Thinking about your whole life"