"Actually, I don't want to die, but ......"

Su Lang put down his chopsticks and lowered his head again. Begin to talk about the causes and consequences that we don't know.

We know from Sulang's mouth. His mother is the director of the sales department in the company, and her performance has always been very good. And his father is an engineer in a construction company, the kind of wayward profession that can not even take the words of the leader seriously, and the leader does not dare to provoke. But in such a family that everyone thinks is perfect, Su Lang feels a trace of care and warmth.

Su Lang has been taking care of his life and learning since he can remember, and his parents don't have time at all, whenever he wants his parents to accompany him for a while. They will always excuse themselves for various reasons.

"Mom's unit is busy, so I don't have time. Next time, next time, my mother will be with you. ”

Mom said as she busied herself with her clothes. Try to make yourself refreshed, and then stuff him with a few hundred dollars. said: "Buy some delicious and fun by yourself, and then Mom will leave first, baby goodbye." After saying that, he would put on his bag and hurriedly walked out the door.

And what about Dad? He would always say, "Dad still has work to do, and it's related to people's livelihood." You're also a big kid, you have to learn to take care of yourself, you can't always pester your parents, go ahead, play by yourself. ”

Su Lang didn't really understand what people's livelihood issues were, he only knew that his father would often work hard to design some bridges and roads. Many of the beautiful viaducts in the city are from my father's handiwork. But so what? The works he designs always serve the broad masses of the people. But as a father, he doesn't spend a moment with his children!

Mom would always give some cash to compensate herself. And Dad would always tell himself something big things he didn't understand. So, Su Lang had his own solution.

With the money given by his mother, it was always easy for Su Lang to meet some new friends. At first, he was happy with them, but slowly, he realized that he didn't get along with them. New friends always do strange things, and sometimes Su Lang sees it in his eyes and thinks that it is not good. But he was reluctant to leave them, because it was only among them that Su Lang felt that he was needed and taken to heart.

Later, his friends would always take him to do some bad things. For example, smashing down the school glass, or bullying the younger students. In their words, it would be exciting to do so. At first, he was still very resistant, and often left with excuses, until one day......

Su Lang remembers very well that it was the school's basketball open, and he was the main player. The teacher requires that one of the parents be present. In fact, the teacher's idea is very simple, that is, parents want to cheer up the school and have more contact with their children by the way. But when such a simple thing arrived at his home, it changed its nature and became a mutual blame between parents.

"Can you take a leave of absence? My project is very important, and there are dozens of people in the department waiting to pay salaries to support their families. These were Mom's words, and barely gave a chance to refute them. went out with a backpack, and when he was about to go out, he routinely stuffed Su Lang with some money as compensation.

Dad looked at Su Lang, still thinking about how to explain. But Su Lang opened his mouth first. "I know, I know. There are projects that are very busy, which is related to the convenience of many people's travel. It's okay, you go get busy, I've grown up. ”

Dad smiled when he heard Su Lang, and he rubbed Su Lang's head. "It's really a young man, I know that I think about my father, it's really good. Let your grandparents go, rest assured, anyway, the teacher won't really treat you because of this. ”

Su Lang looked at his father's face, and he seemed very relieved, because his son was very sensible. But does he really understand his son? Didn't he know that Su Lang was actually talking back?

It turned out to be the norm at home. However, Su Lang couldn't get over. There are too many such things, and Su Lang has too much backlog in his heart. This made him feel like he was a dispensable person in the family, and he would only always embarrass his parents, kicking himself around like a ball, and finally pushing it to his grandparents. In that case, why did you need to be yourself in the first place?

With the money given by his mother in his pocket, Su Lang walked aimlessly on the street, and happened to meet the group of friends.

"What's the matter? Lethargy? Your dad and mom don't care about you anymore? It's nothing, in fact, everyone is like this. Anyway, we have money in our pockets, so it doesn't matter what they do. ”

Friends said this, but Su Lang still couldn't get interested. Think about yourself in the basketball open, and other people's parents are cheering for you in the stands. And when it came to himself, it was just that his grandfather was wearing reading glasses and trying hard to find his eldest grandson on the field. When he thought of this, Su Lang felt like crying.

"Don't be sad, why don't we do something exciting today? Make sure you don't think about anything then. A buddy put his arm on Su Lang's shoulder and said mysteriously.

In the past, Su Lang would definitely refuse or leave with an excuse. But today he didn't want that, and suddenly a ridiculous idea popped into his head.

"Okay, but it could be a little more exciting."

Su Lang said this, and managed to arouse the interest of his friends. A little more exciting? Hearing this, everyone's eyes were shining.

The excitement in the mouths of friends is that they decide to go to the supermarket to steal something, even if they obviously have money in their pockets, even if they are not reluctant to spend money. And Su Lang's so-called more exciting is the live broadcast, the live broadcast of them stealing things in the supermarket. In this way, even such a ridiculous thing hit it off between them. They knew there were cameras in the supermarket and they knew they might get caught, but they decided to do it anyway. Sometimes Su Lang would think, maybe they actually wanted to be arrested that time, right? That will attract the attention of your parents in another way. Essentially, they are a bunch of poor kids desperately trying to prove their existence.

The whole process went unexpectedly smoothly, not only did it go unnoticed in the supermarket. Even the attention rate of the live broadcast is rising, although they didn't show their faces, just filming and explaining the process, but there are still good people who click in to watch. And there are even a lot of people who give gifts! Say something "young and promising, born calves are not afraid of tigers, and young heroes are brave." Something like that.

"Are they all a bunch of fools? Can't you see that what we're doing is wrong? Su Lang couldn't help but feel a little strange.

But there were still some reprimanding words that deeply stimulated his heart.

"A group of depraved children, it's hopeless."

"There is no distinction between honor and disgrace, how can today's children be like this, it is simply sad, the sorrow of their parents!"

"A group of children with fathers and no mothers are dead, it's too embarrassing for your parents......"

The friends didn't think much of these words, but laughed when they saw them. But Su Lang was different, these words deeply pierced his heart. He wanted to refute what caused them to be the way they were, but he still didn't say anything, because he didn't think it was useful. So, he began to be confused, not knowing what he should look like.

"I don't know why I thought of dying, I'm afraid of dying too. But at that moment on the roof, the thought of wanting to die was very serious and deep. If I hadn't had you at that time, I'm afraid I wouldn't have survived that moment, right? ”

Hearing him say this, my heart couldn't help but feel a little sour, and I could only force myself to show a slightly ugly smile.

"Now that you've come to this day, don't think about that kind of stupid thing anymore, even if your parents have to do that to you, but in their hearts, you are still indispensable, otherwise what is the reason why they work so hard? Without you, everything they do would be meaningless. So stop saying that the world doesn't need you anymore, even if the world really doesn't need you. But you are still what they need, and you are their most precious existence. ”

Su Lang looked up at me again, his eyes had already returned to brightness, and he nodded vigorously.

"I know, I've already figured it out. In the time since you saved me, I thought about a lot of things that I had never thought about before, and then I realized how stupid it was to think and do what I had thought about before. I kept chasing after what was already in my hands, but I didn't know it. I always thought I was insignificant to my parents, but what I didn't know was that it was really just what I saw. Although they don't talk about their children and lead them in their hands all day long, like other parents. But I'm still around them all the time, because they put me in their hearts, and they're just used to keeping their love hidden. So for their sake and for myself, I want to live a better life. ”

After saying such a bunch of long words, Su Lang seemed to really let go of a heavy burden. He let out a long breath, and his warm smile appeared on his face again.

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