Because I didn't have a certificate with me when I went out, I had to go back to my second home.

I don't even know if she's moved, so I can only go back with the mentality of giving it a try.

When I opened the door, I was a little surprised.

The rooms that have always been clean and tidy are in shambles, the garbage cans are full and no one takes them out, the landlord has turned off the water and electricity, the leftovers in the refrigerator smell foul and rotten, and some even have maggots.

And she was lying in bed, unable to afford to be sick.

She was so sick that she coughed incessantly, and she was only skinny and skinny.

When she saw me, she still smiled gently: "Xiaolan, are you back?" ”

I asked her what was wrong, and she still didn't say anything to the previous one, only that she was a little tired, so she forgot to clean up, so I don't want to be angry.

I wasn't angry, I just cleaned up the garbage in my room, paid the utility bill, and replaced the light bulb that was no longer on.

And she leaned back on the bed and looked at me with a gentle smile.

"I'll cook for you." She said, "What do you want to eat?" ”

"No, I'm not hungry." I said at the time.

But she struggled to her feet, and I saw her skinny legs tucked into her empty pants, as if a gust of wind could blow her down.

There was nothing to eat at home, so she made a winter melon cup.

When she came out of the kitchen with a steaming cup of winter melon, she was a little dizzy, her hands were unsteady, and the hot food spilled on the floor and also on her, and she fell to the ground coughing up blood.

I carried her to the hospital, but we didn't have the money.

We don't have any money.

Our meager income was not enough to pay for expensive medical bills and cure her of tuberculosis.

I could only watch day after day as she coughed down, thinned down, and moved infinitely closer to death.

When I was taking care of her, I saw cigarette butt burns on her arms, as well as knife scratches, new and old, densely packed.

I know how they stayed, but what I don't know is how she digested the shamelessness and insults her only son had given her while she was suffering.

I finally paid the price for my stupid self-esteem.

I want to repent, I want to save her.

In order to make money, I have done everything that can and cannot be done, and I have done all kinds of evil.

It doesn't matter, as long as I can save my mother, I will admit it to being in prison for the rest of my life.

I used all the money I got to buy her medicine, but I still couldn't stop the Grim Reaper from approaching, and I was running out of ammunition.

She took my hand and smiled softly as before: "Don't do bad things, Xiaolan, be a good person." ”

I kept my head down and didn't speak, I couldn't be a good person anymore, and I was going to disappoint her.

She used to send me to school, I hated it when my classmates at school pointed at me and skipped class every day, she wanted me to be a good person, but I slipped deeper and deeper into the unpredictable abyss.

She wasn't always angry, and when I skipped class, she would tell me with a stern face that there should never be a next time, and when I took money out of my wallet and threw someone else's wallet away, she would slap me in the face.

She said, you can't do this, you have to take the right path, do you also want to live like your mother for the rest of your life?

I sometimes talk back, I've been like this for the rest of my life, can you handle it?

More often than not, I'll be silent, I've been arguing with her for eighteen years, and I don't want to quarrel anymore.

Nothing matters, I just want to save her.

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