Walking out of the circus tent, Gotland looked up at the moon, which was bright and bright on weekdays, but now dim.

He felt that his future was like this moonlight, and he originally thought that the future was bright, but he was wrong, and the audience would not like his show forever.

The short-lived glory is no match for the boredom of the show. The original splendor was only a flash in the pan, just like the first eight years of his clown career, the roadside was full of flowers, but the flowers eventually withered, leaving a bare land to the sorrow of the passerby.

He sat down on the steps by the river, smiled wryly, and asked the horse trainer next to him, "I'm far worse than you now." Now the ranking of circus shows is magic shows, horse training shows, animal taming shows, tightrope walkers, opening shows, and trapeze shows. You see, both of my shows were at the bottom of the line, and only in the opening show were a few kids cheering for me, and you were the second one. ”

The trainer patted him on the shoulder and said, "Life is like this, flowers are not red for a hundred days." Look at the opening point. I'm in second place now, but it's hard to keep doing that. ”

"Well, Mr. Shu Shu must be able to sit firmly in the first place, his magic skills are unmatched."

"Haha, it's not necessarily, maybe he'll be down at some point. Weren't you also a clown star back then? ”

Gotland's face became gloomy and he lowered his head, he was poked in the sore spot by the horse trainer, and he didn't want to say a word.

He wanted to lose a little temper with the trainer and take the opportunity to vent the resentment that had accumulated in his heart. But he held back, after all, he only had this one friend, not to mention that the trainer was really good to him.

He saw the shadows of the two people in the street lamp for a long time, as if the souls tortured by the world were arbitrarily bent and forgot their own hearts. He meditated in his heart: no matter how painful desire makes us, friendship will always change.

The trainer turned his head and saw Gotland's appearance in a daze, and was immediately amused: "Silly boy, what do you think?" Instead of letting those jumbled thoughts occupy your brain, think about retreats. What can you do if the Joker can't do it anymore? ”

"If you can't do it, how can it be?" Gotland asked rhetorically, "You're thinking too much. The circus needs clowns, and even if my show isn't as popular as it used to be, I'm not going to be out of work. ”

"Alas, I'm worried about you." The trainer sighed.

"I'm scared too, you don't need to be afraid of anything for me." Gotland stalls.

The trainer looked at the dim moon and said in a tone similar to self-talk, "I know you're afraid, but you're only afraid of what has happened now, you're just afraid of your current state of being left in the cold." The reason why you are afraid of him is because you have lost the fame and popularity you once had! I don't think that's enough, or that you're afraid it's useless. ”

Gotland frowned: "Then what do you think I should be afraid of, or what are you afraid of for me?" ”

"I'm afraid for your future. Now that you're in this situation, there's no one to say what bad things will happen in the future. ”

Gotland thought for a moment, then shook his head and said, "No, you don't need to be afraid of this, as I just said, I won't make a career." ”

The trainer sighed again: "You're running away now, no, you've been running away all the time. You're running away, so you don't get scared about the future. In fact, the truth is that your worries about the future are buried in your heart, and it is like a volcano.

It can erupt at any moment and drown you over. ”

"Okay, let's not go on." Gotland stood up, his voice trembling imperceptibly, "I said I wasn't scared, so don't guide me anymore." It's getting late, so let's go home. ”

Without waiting for the trainer's answer, Gotland walked in the direction of home without looking back, his shadow stretched longer by the streetlights. He could feel that the trainer was following him, worried about him.

He didn't want to look back at the trainer, for what the trainer had just said made him very upset.

"Well, am I really running away?" He muttered to himself. Before he knew it, he had already walked to the door of the house, and the cold wind blew away his sorrow all the way.

Worried that the trainer had really followed him, he looked back and saw that the trainer wasn't there.

He nodded with satisfaction: "Well, it's good, my friend has gone back." Otherwise, it will be dangerous too late. ”

It was twelve o'clock in the evening, and he could not sleep, so he got up and wrote a note to Miss Robles:

Miss Roberts, I like you, and I know you know I like you.

I remember when I first appeared in front of you, you were not yet Mr. Upper Dahl, you were poor, and I was a superstar in Modo, and the top clown actor in the Modo circus.

But now, because of Mr. Dahl, you are getting better and better. And you won't accept my gifts and money.

I know you like Mr. Dahl more, and while I don't think it's perverse, I respect your idea.

I'm sad for you. But I felt that my frustration was not the only source. I often feel inexplicable fear, I can't put it into words, and I can't figure it out.

My colleague Mr. Horse Tamer, who is my best friend, came to the circus four years ago and we hit it off and talked about everything. He thinks he understands what I think, but I'm afraid he does. I'd rather he didn't understand anything.

Miss Roberts, I don't expect your favor. If you want to be my friend, I feel very satisfied.

What I want to ask you is, if I am down, will you still be friends with me? I hope that you and my colleague Mr. Horse Trainer will never leave me.

Love you Gotland

The next morning, as soon as it was dawn, he hurried to the bakery, but he did not dare to put the letter in it, so he took it out and stuffed it under his pillow as soon as he went out in the morning, and only hurriedly brought the envelope.

He clasped the bakery's hand tightly and said, "Please be sure to give this envelope to Miss Robles, for it contains my love and shyness for her." ”

When the owner of the bakery saw his excitement, he immediately agreed.

About seven o'clock Miss Robles came to the bakery to get to work, and the shopkeeper handed her the Gotland envelope: "The lad named Gotland gave it to you." ”

Robles felt a little annoyed, but she couldn't help but feel a wave of emotion in her heart.

She took the envelope and walked into the corner, opened it quietly, and saw that there was nothing inside. She pursed her lips and said to herself, "This person is sick......

A week later, the Gotland show was still the same.

On this day, before the show began, the circus director called Gotland to his office again.

elder brother

Tran took a heavy step, and the fear in his heart grew as he felt a sense of foreboding, and he didn't know what was going to happen in a moment.

"Knock knock." Gotland knocked on the door, "Commander, are you there?" He himself felt a sense of fear in his voice.

"Come in yourself." The head of the regiment's voice was lazy and perfunctory.

Gotland sat down in his seat tremblingly, and he swallowed the worry in his heart and looked at the commander's mouth with a pretense of composure.

The head of the regiment looked at the documents in his hand and said, "Gotlan, look at your current show, it has become like this again!" Tightrope walkers can get some applause, but your performance, even children don't bother to watch it. ”

Gotland lowered his head, his eyes were a little red, silently looked at the buttons of his shirt, and whispered, "Little child...... There are still some people who like to watch my opening show. ”

"Hmph." The head of the regiment scoffed at this, "Just a few children, do you still think you are very powerful?" ”

"No, I don't think I'm awesome. So what are you going to do now? Gotland lifted his heavy eyelids as if he were about to cry. His hands kept rubbing together, nervous to the extreme.

"Well, you go to the door of the circus and give out balloons to the children, or dress up as a clown and do some cute or exaggerated funny moves." The head of the regiment spoke in a resolute tone, not allowing Gotland to refute him.

"So be it, Captain. Thank you for taking me in. Gottland readily agreed. Because he knows that he has no confidence, and he no longer has the capital to refute. His popularity has been exhausted, and he can only be arranged by the head of the regiment.

He felt as if he was humbled to the bone, and he couldn't straighten his waist. Walked out of the office with his brain blank.

The trainer came over and comforted: "It's nothing, as long as you think more about the way back now, at least you won't be unemployed." ”

"Back?" Gotland glared at the trainer, obviously a little stunned, "Do I have a way out now, this is already the worst-case scenario!" ”

The trainer put his arm on Gotland's shoulders and said, "Listen to me, Gottland. I thought you were just avoiding thinking about your future, but now I think you're too scared of your future to run away. Actually, your heart is trembling, do you feel it? Calm down and don't panic too much so you can keep your brain clear! ”

"Enough! If you are my friend, you should encourage me instead of throwing cold water on me over and over again! Gotland roared.

"I'm talking about your heart!" The trainer's voice also began to grow louder, "I know what you're afraid of, I know what you're running away from, I'm your best friend, that's why I'm telling you!" ”

"Alright, don't say it! I don't want to see you! Gottland ran out and came to the door of the circus.

He watched the sunset in the distance, like his own business, gradually dissipating between heaven and earth. Even the clouds on the horizon did not want to pay attention to this remnant scene, preferring to be accompanied by the bright moon and stars in the dark.

In this way, day after day, Gotland, who only acts as a clown for customers, has more and more inferiority. The little ones will be amazed to see him and the balloon in his hand when they first come to the circus, and then walk into the circus venue without paying any attention to Gotland.

Gotland spends all day in anticipation and loss. He remembers every day when he used to be a superstar in Modo City, but he still can't figure out what he was afraid of.

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