The author is a person with a very low IQ and EQ, especially EQ.

I don't need others to talk about my low level of emotional intelligence, I know how many pounds and taels I have. I'm used to being open-mouthed, I'm used to showing all my moodiness on my face, and an emotional person like me is undoubtedly a kind of society hates.

I don't really want anyone around me to pay attention, it's just a visual manifestation of an innate bad emotional intelligence.

This kind of low emotional intelligence is a kind of helplessness that you know you can't do and is not governed by your own emotions and thoughts. At least with me.

Although I often come into contact with a lot of chicken soup or poisonous chicken soup, I also understand that putting my emotions on the surface for outsiders to see, this is a very immoral thing in the first place, in fact, it can also expose the flaws of my personality nakedly. It's a pity that when God created my wonderful flower, he clearly installed such a shortcoming.

And people with a personality like me abound in this world. Do you know what this character will lose? Intuitively defeated by the so-called human sophistication.

I have a classmate who now lives abroad. When I was chatting with her the other day, I heard her mention it. She said that after living abroad for a while, you will find a problem, foreigners especially do not like to pay attention to other people's privacy, you don't have to expect too much intimacy between them and you, and even work for a few years, always retain a sense of distance between each other. And this sense of distance will make people very comfortable. If you need to ask others to do things for you, it is one thing, and this kind of favor makes her very happy. However, she returned to China for a month, and she complained that she was not frivolous by herself, but really suddenly defeated by the enthusiasm between the seven aunts and eight aunts in her hometown, and even the neighbors she didn't know, and even panicked!

She was also born in a town, where the people are simple and there are few new things from outside, and this person who has been abroad for a few years has naturally become a local celebrity. She said that she went back to the United States a while ago, and at her mother's request, bought a lot of local things and mailed them back. The reason is that when she went home, the neighbor delivered vegetables, bean bags, this and that, and she needed to exchange gifts.

She was originally studying and working in the United States, but as a result, it took half a month just to buy gifts for her neighbors. This is acceptable, but what she can't accept is that several of the things she bought back were mailed back on the grounds that they were not suitable and asked for a change of yardage! She said she was crazy! She couldn't count the neighbors who sent her things, after all, people were warm and kind. But she said that she felt that this kind of tough courtesy and sophistication were simply moral kidnapping! She spent a lot of money and time tossing these things back and forth. And she is not happy with this kind of communication, even crazy!

After that, she rarely went home. If she is going to spend a lot of money on airfares to bring her family to the United States during the winter and summer vacations, she doesn't want to return to China. As she herself said, she loves her homeland, but she doesn't love this kind of human affection and sophistication that goes beyond the normal range. If she doesn't buy it, her mother will be criticized in her hometown, and if she doesn't change it, her family will be counted down by the neighborhood in her hometown. There is no way, the best way to bite the bullet is to take 36 plans and hide as the best policy.

Indeed, Chinese will regard many interpersonal and human feelings as so-called face projects, and this kind of intersection that is all put on the surface is indeed laborious. We are affected by the social development and living environment, and we are well aware that this status quo cannot be changed at all.

For people born in 1988, there should still be some intersections. Because, in our era, study, work, and even marriage would be linked to the word favor.

And now the post-00s, it's not that they are powerful, but that in the era when they were born, many social forms have undergone some changes, which have affected their perception of human feelings to a certain extent, so when you see more post-00s children, they all look very open.

In my eyes, the children of the post-00s are far stronger than the post-80s. Maybe it's created by the times, for example, if you want to do anything, plan anything, have the conditions and ability, your parents can come forward to solve some problems, if you can't solve it, they will feel that they will let it go, their destiny will not engage in a lot of formalism, and life will become extremely complicated, need is need, need is need. If there is really something to appeal to others, then it is simple, you help me do things, I will give you money, and it will be OK after paying back the favor.

It's a pity that most of the post-80s people are not like this. Most of the parents of the post-80s generation also have the same characteristic, that is, parents and children want to listen to themselves half, so contradictions naturally arise. Regarding this, the post-90s generation cannot avoid it.

For example, what university do you want to go to? The family will definitely ask you. After you finish speaking, you will be vetoed. Then each took a step back, and finally settled on one. Parents said that they could find someone to help, but you have to remember the good of others for this favor, and you have to pay them back when you have a chance in the future. As a result, this favor has been returned for more than 2 generations! In fact, in the eyes of the other party doing things, you are just one of the countless individuals, but the needs of the times are like this.

It was originally an unintentional trivial matter, but occasionally it was brought up, and it happened that someone helped you, so good, you can go back to this favor.

This is a common problem of the post-80s, human affection is greater than the sky.

Personally, I'm actually more rejecting the thing of human affection. Because I found that many people actually put this kind of human sentiment book into love, which makes it difficult for me to accept. I have a friend Xiaoxi, and Xiaoxi's husband works in the automobile industry. It used to be a beautiful few years. Of course, the beauty or not is only relative. Later, her husband came down from the unit for various reasons, set up his own business, and opened a car-related company.

Engaging in sales is his husband's specialty. Xiaoxi told me that once her husband actually told her that if someone wanted to buy a car, she would introduce her, and he would give Xiaoxi 5,000 yuan per car as a commission. Xiaoxi thought it was funny. Although there was some tension in the relationship between the two at the time, it had not yet fully reached the level of rising to the level of interests, after all, for her, marriage was not a business activity. Xiaoxi said that at that time, she felt inexplicably wanted to laugh, when was the thing of human affection rubbed into love? In terms of withdrawing from love, this kind of interest relationship is put into family affection, has it also changed its taste?

Xiaoxi's husband did this, inadvertently opening up the strangeness and distance between the two people, and it also showed that Xiaoxi's husband is a person who uses favors and money to measure some relationships. I know that in this society, many families are like this, and I will not comment on whether this is right or wrong, after all, this is just a contradiction caused by the difference in the perception of the three views.

After I quit my first job after graduating from college, my family wanted to find relatives to arrange my next job for me. I refused very harshly. I don't need it, it's not that I don't need help, it's that I don't feel like I need to owe someone a favor, it's as simple as that. First of all, you need to understand that the job you get through personal favors may not really be right for you. At the same time, you will lose a lot of opportunities for independent choice, including limited upside. This point, just like the ancient Chinese system of continuous sitting, the person you have a relationship with, if his enemy happens to be your boss, then, okay, boil it, resignation will be said to be bad or bad, if you don't resign, you will be put in small shoes every day. OK, the bane of human affection.

You have to understand that you can't be good, but you have to be independent. This independence does not mean abandoning the necessary human feelings, but giving yourself the opportunity to do what you want, rather than being held back by human feelings for a lifetime.

I once had a girl next to me, a typical big, beautiful and white, and her family was very superior. But her ability to work, including her ability to adapt to society, is still lacking in my opinion. It's a pity that I'm the kind of person who is very unsuitable to be a leader, because I am soft-hearted. Especially for those kids who have just graduated from college, I rarely pull down my face and have fun with them.

At that time, I told her a lot of great truths gained from social experience, but as a result, she prevaricated back with a word, saying that her family would find her a job, and he did not need to adapt to social skills. I was speechless for such an answer. Forget it, after all, I haven't lived to understand, and not worrying about being told by others is also a kind of letting go of myself.

Later, when I was thinking about the world alone, I suddenly thought of her. Can you say that if she gets a job at home, she can do nothing herself? Not really.

This affection has ruined her ability to adapt to society independently, and even more so her independent personality. As a result, human affection became an accident.

His parents could have arranged a lot of things for him, even marriage. However, what the world requires is not that if you have money, you can not be capable. Money doesn't equal ability, and that's a fair thing.

It is said that the highest goal of life is to know the world without being sophisticated, in my opinion, this sentence is more suitable for the post-00s, and even the post-90s are worse. In fact, the post-80s generation basically can't do it. You are like our generation of post-80s people, who have completely entered the age of 30 years old. I think you can be unsophisticated? You want to escape from the world, and society won't.

I used to learn the post-00s like human feelings and sophistication, this thing can be stopped, the point is up, if I do things with you, it is the same thing, and there is no communication between them.

Unfortunately, I can't, because the environment in which I live determines the group of people I live in.

Therefore, the tiredness of the post-80s generation, on the one hand, is the human affection that cannot be shaken off and the sophistication that cannot be thrown away. In the meantime, only by achieving relative independence of personality can all accidents be avoided. Here's the nightmare of 1988.