In the summer, the night always comes so slowly, I used to be afraid of the dark, but now I always look forward to the night coming, only in this way I feel that I don't need to see anything, I don't have to think about anything, and I am full of security.

Recently, I have been thinking about staying alone quietly for a while, I don't want to see people, I don't want to talk, and I see the moon being shrouded by erratic clouds from time to time, and my heart hurts. My father left very suddenly, so suddenly that he didn't know what to do with the hatred in his heart and the resentment in his heart. In the battle between people and cars, after all, people are still so fragile, careless, and broken so completely.

The recent rain seems to have not stopped, the day my father left, it was the beginning of this rain, looking at my father's thin body was only wrapped in a white cloth, lying alone in the house, the people who came to see the face, there was only a sigh for the rest of his life. Eventually, when the time came, watching a spade of loess stretch the distance between me and my father, resentment and hatred seemed to be less important, and the smoke and clouds dissipated with my father's departure。。。。。。

When the people in the courtyard were talking about the words of indemnity division and other words, they just wanted to leave the place of right and wrong early, and say goodbye to their grandmother before leaving, perhaps, they would never have the opportunity to go again in that mountain in their lives. My grandmother was old, and my father, who was frail and sickly when he was a child, won more love and pity from my grandmother, and he didn't have to participate in too much field work, and had more time to read.

Since I was a child, I like to look through my father's notes, and I can write well, and I can write scriptures and calligraphy very well. In the neighborhood, my father is the most ingenious one, who has something to do, I like to ask my father to help, and my father is also happy to help, so when my parents leave, relying on the friendship that my father promised, I also ate the hundred family meals in the alley。。。。。。

Time is the most ruthless, it will mercilessly consume people's will, change people's state of mind, on the way to growth, I don't know if it is because of not being with parents all the year round, and gradually become the father does not know the son, the son does not know the father, the discord of the three views produces a contradiction that cannot be reconciled for a while, each has its own reason, and it is impossible to judge right and wrong.

There are a lot of things, I think I don't think about it, and I will forget it after a long time, but every time in the dead of night, the regret and pain of my father's departure will unconsciously resurface, and when I am alive, I can unscrupulously raise the bar and gamble, but this time, there is not much meaning in losing and winning. Recently, I always think of the days when I was in Chase with my father, because he was busy with business, so he often didn't have food after school, but as soon as he came back, he would take me to make a good meal. In order to go to school registration, I went to Hongsibao with my mother, and two years later my father came to Hongsibao, and came on a motorcycle, taking the rag doll that I had been holding and sleeping, and there was a zipper under the doll skirt······· It's a pity that the last time I was with him, I still invited him to eat noodles at the newly opened noodle restaurant in town······· My sister-in-law said that two days before my father left, I took my niece's kindergarten pick-up card in the afternoon and said that I was going to pick up my poor baby, who was born prematurely when I was a child, and my father gave me a nickname········ It's been a long time since I've heard him call me by my nickname, and I haven't had a chance to hear it again.

The deepest pain is often the most wordless. I know that my father's departure hurts my grandmother's heart the most, but my grandmother didn't cry in front of outsiders, but just said when she looked at my father for the last time, my big eyes, my nose, you go first, wait for me, my mother will accompany you soon.

Since I was a child, my parents were not around, so I have been longing for true love and companionship, and I don't care about the rest at all, I just want to be quiet, and the people around me are happy, but in the end, I found that everything is impermanent, what I want, it seems that it is not difficult, but it is the most hopeless to get. Originally, I wanted to be safe, but now I understand that people are actually powerless, so in the days to come, I don't want to leave no regrets, just ask for a clear conscience, and learn to cherish it in a few days.