After printing the contract and coming back, Lin Ximeng sat in a chair,

"When he comes back, tell him that he has moved his home." Yun Gu's words were still echoing in her ears.

Fan Tianfu, oh, this man doesn't belong to her Lin Ximeng! He has a home! There is a wife! The thought that Fan Tianfu would have to go home every night from now on to sleep with that woman made her heart feel like a mess.

Later, this mess turned into some dry and hard branches, which shoehorned her heart to pieces, and she burst into tears.

Fan Tianfu came back, and when he saw the faint tears on her face, he sat down beside her, rubbed her white floral skirt on a black background, and whispered, "What do you look like in these patterns?" She touched the patterns and whispered, "Like locks and keys." ”

"Yes, I wanted to say that when I drew you that day."

"Locks and keys," she said to herself,

"So much."

"It's like your life, you open a lock, and there's a lock waiting for you to open."

"What if I open one and never want to open the others?"

"This is the highest state of life."

"What if this one doesn't belong to me?"

"Whoever opens it belongs to whom."

"Really?"

"Yes, you open it and it's yours."

"What if I'm not sure?"

"Actually, you should be sure." Lin Ximeng stopped talking, stood up and poured a glass of boiled water for Fan Tianfu, and when he brought it to him with both hands, Fan Tianfu was just about to grab her hand, she broke free all of a sudden, turned to the other side of the boss's table, hesitated, and said, "Your ...... Been here. Said to have moved home. Fan Tianfu suddenly felt as if he had been touched by something.

He frowned, put down his glass, and leaned back half-reclining in the boss's chair. He closed his eyes and said nothing, indicating that he understood.

After a long time, he suddenly sat up straight, opened his eyes, but his eyes did not look at her, and said, "I suddenly have the idea of becoming a monk. ”

"Really?" She was surprised.

"Yes." Lin Ximeng pondered for a moment and said, "I agree and support. Fan Tianfu covered his mouth and smiled: "Then you will be free." She didn't understand it for a while, but when she did, her face was flushed, and she couldn't help but smile.

"Really, I'm going to follow Mr. Kwong."

"I'm going to be a nun."

"Where did you become a nun?"

"Where you go, I'll go."

"Monks are still allowed to bring their families?" Fan Tianfu joked. Lin Ximeng looked serious: "Whether it's allowed or not, I'm going anyway." Fan Tianfu sighed and whispered, "Go and close the door." She obediently went to close it.

"Come here." She had to walk over. He let her sit on his lap, took her into his arms, brushed the hair from her cheeks with his hands, stroked her face, and said in a low voice, "Ximeng, I love you." Her eyes were moist and she was biting the corners of her lip with her teeth.

When Fan Tianfu's fingers gently swiped across her face, a pampered sense of happiness welled up in her heart, and her breath trembled slightly because of it.

"Ximeng, do you want to know how you got to me?" She didn't feel a shock. Yes, how she got to this man, even she doesn't know.

She only knew that this man asked to see her urgently, and there was no news after the meeting; Months later, he suddenly came out and stopped her on her way to Shanshan's fashion company, and unconditionally asked her to come here.

He said, "I want you to come to work with me!" The tone of this sentence is almost a command. whereas

"As long as you can come!" This sentence clearly says: "I don't care what your conditions are, but you must come!" ”

"Yes." Lin Ximeng replied in a low voice.

"Let me tell you," Fan Tianfu said succinctly,

"I left the army and came back to start a business with a very clear purpose, that is, to find an ideal partner, to put it bluntly, my ideal woman." Lin Ximeng raised his head in astonishment, stared at him for a long time, and then asked carefully, "Tianfu, what did you just say?" Fan Tianfu repeated what he had just said, with a serious expression and a resolute tone, and no one could question the authenticity of his words.

Lin Ximeng still couldn't figure it out, looked at him in confusion, and said cautiously, "You...... It's not that the cause is ...... Is it your life? You came back for the sake of your career? He shook his head categorically and firmly denied it.

She still couldn't believe it, however, with Fan Tianfu's narration, she had to believe it. It turned out that the brothers of the Fan family were able to get to this day because of their mother's credit.

This is something that the brothers of the Fan family will never be able to repay. However, while they were thanking their mother, the mother unconsciously left a faint pain in the hearts of her sons, that is, the marriage of her sons.

Her sons can be said to be all dignified and showed their good talents very early. But because his family was so poor, very few people came to his house to propose marriage.

The mother, who has been battling poverty for decades and is exhausted, is afraid that her son will not be able to marry a daughter-in-law if she is poor.

This is common in rural areas. Therefore, as long as the woman asks someone to propose marriage, the mother will agree to it for her sons.

And when the son, under the mother's words and deeds, from the sensible to know loyalty, filial piety, etiquette and righteousness, Confucius and Mencius thought is deeply rooted in their minds, even if they are not satisfied, but out of filial piety to the mother, it is inconvenient to say more.

Especially after the failure of Fan's and his entourage to resist marriage, the brothers below had to submit one by one.

In this way, in this big family, the career and marriage of the Fan brothers are out of touch. In their careers, they are all expected to succeed; In terms of marriage, in addition to the concept that the mothers feel that their sons have married their daughters-in-law and become a family, the sons are dumb and eat Coptis chinensis, and there are bitter words.

Fan Tianfu is a small name among the brothers, and he is the most understanding of motherhood since he was a child, and he is deeply loved by his mother.

Before joining the army, Aunt Yun's family asked a matchmaker to come to Fan's house to propose marriage, but Fan Tianfu didn't take a fancy to it and expressed his unwillingness. The mother said, "If you want to be good-looking, you can eat or drink?" As long as you can live honestly. Her mother is really filial to her mother-in-law, and she is famous in the village. In the last words of his mother, Fan Tianfu's marriage was also resolved.

Three years later, he received a letter from his family asking him to go home and get married, and the wedding period was half a month. For half a month, he was like a death row prisoner waiting to be executed.

When the date of execution came, he returned home. When he got home, he put it off for as long as he could, until he couldn't put it off any longer.

"You," Lin Ximeng interrupted his memories and said,

"Can't you say you don't want to?"

"I didn't say it. I was so stupid that I had only one thought: as long as she could be good to my mother. Ximeng, only I know, what is a misstep into a thousand years of hatred, I didn't say what my heart didn't want to say, which left me with endless regrets. Three days after getting married, I returned to the army. The photos taken on the wedding day were all torn apart by me, and I didn't leave a single one. My laughter is worse than crying! And she, you've seen her, heavens! I don't know who's punishing me! I don't know what I did in my last life! With her**, let's make an analogy, a person who is hungry and thirsty, facing a big pot of food that you don't want to eat at all, if you don't eat it, you will starve to death; Eat it, and it disgusts you. In this case, eat? Still not eating? As long as you want to live, you have to eat. Fan Tianfu fell into an unspeakable pain, closed his eyes, and it took a while for him to open them.

Ximeng, after all, I am in the prime of life, energetic, and a flesh and blood body, and I ate it. However, after each meal, he repented to the extreme, and insulted himself: 'You bastard!

You worthless thing! You can't afford not to eat? Can you die if you don't eat it? So he punished himself.

I punished myself in many ways, pulling my hair, biting my arms, pinching my thighs, sometimes smashing my head against concrete walls, and using physical pain to relieve the disgust of numbness and eating those things.

In this way, year after year, this marriage became my heart disease. The more this happens, the more I work hard.

This can not only comfort the mother one after another with military merit medals, in exchange for the mother's favor, but also forget that he is a man of flesh and blood.

That's why I'm doing a better job. Those honors brought me a colorful and colorful external world, however, my inner world, I really dare not touch.

In addition to bitterness, it was still bitterness, and it had to force laughter in front of people, including in front of parents and brothers.

Who can believe that a man like me, who is full of blood and feelings, has not yet fallen in love in his thirties, and has not even tasted love.

In the army, so many young women soldiers cast me with admiring and suggestive glances, but I avoided them as if from a flood of beasts, lest I should spoil my honor.

One of them is a dancer of the propaganda team, slender, beautiful, always a 'Fan squad leader' when I see me, at that time, I like her deep in my heart, eager to be close to her, I can't see her for a few days, my heart seems to be missing something, but whenever I see her, I pretend not to care.

Suddenly, one day, I saw her sitting side by side with a young man in the shade of a tree in the playground. When I asked someone, she said that it was her boyfriend who came to see her in the army.

I wasn't in love, but I tasted the taste of falling out of love. I was in great pain. In fact, at that time, her boyfriend was very ordinary, and she knew from her eyes that she loved and hinted at me, as long as I took the initiative, the situation was completely different.

Still, I avoided her. When she left the army, she gave me a photo, which was a group photo of her during the performance.

The dancer only said half a sentence: 'Squad Leader Fan, I ......' tears came out.

"I still don't know what she's going to say. But I know I've let her down. Every time I went to receive the honor amid the applause, my tears welled up. Only I know what kind of taste I have inside, too bitter, too astringent. Sometimes in the dead of night, I often imagine that I can use a sharp dagger to stab myself in the chest, so that those bitter things can flow out a little, and make me feel better, even if it is a little bit......" Seeing that Fan Tianfu was about to fall into a painful mileage that he couldn't extricate himself from, Lin Ximeng immediately said: "Tianfu, tell me, why did you behave so well when we met for the first time?" ”

"Excellent?" Fan Tianfu was in good spirits.

"Excellent."

"I think so." Fan Tianfu smiled slyly, and then continued,

"I tried my best that night, but I wasn't sure if I would be able to conquer you. On that day, although you were not retouched by makeup, your posture and demeanor could not be concealed, and your speech and demeanor all showed that you were a woman of great weight, not one of those frivolous women. It's like this boss desk, it's covered with a heavy cloth, you want to know the quality and grade of this boss desk, just open a corner to know, you don't need to open it all at all. But one thing is for sure, you don't feel bad about me, and that's what I know through the act of asking for buns. Lin Ximeng smiled, Fan Tianfu still remembers her move to ask for buns.

That night, at the end of the meal, she asked for some steamed buns and said she would take them home for the children. This move came as a surprise to everyone present.

Even Fan Tianfu was shocked by her move at that time. Either this is an otherworldly woman, or this is an overly cheesy philistine, it is impossible for ordinary people to have this action, even if they want to, it is impossible to say it, and she actually said it generously and really took it away.

This made Fan Tianfu more and more unpredictable. It was at this time that I saw her letter. After reading it, he immediately knew that his purpose had been achieved.

He was so excited that he didn't sleep all night, and called her at dawn, but as soon as he dialed the number, he immediately turned on the phone again.

Oh my God, is he dizzy? He calmed down, locked himself in his office, and little by little cleared his mind.

"Think about it, if I let you come to the company, what does it mean to me, isn't it clearly there? In this way, I read your letter every day, read it again and again, and I have already memorized it well, and I am conflicted in my heart. ”

"Isn't that what you want?" Fan Tianfu hesitated, not knowing how to speak. Lin Ximeng suddenly understood something.

"Ximeng, I love you." He hugged her tightly and murmured,

"Now, I won't change it for my girl." A shadow still crept up on her heart. She asked with difficulty: "Tianfu, do you care that I am married?" ”

"Ximeng, it doesn't matter if you get married or not, the important thing is that I love you." She listened to him continue: "I have been tormented by inner contradictions for several months, avoiding you and Liu Daguang. They neither said they wanted you to come, nor did they say they didn't want you to come, but they watched your movements in secret. That day, I suddenly knew that you were going to Shanshan Fashion, and I couldn't hide anymore. I had to make a final decision quickly. And the two different outcomes of the choice will obviously push my life into two completely different situations, even the difference between heaven and earth. That night, I smoked three packs of cigarettes, and I was not much better than Wu Zixu passing the Zhao Pass. It wasn't until it was almost dawn that I put out my last cigarette, went to the window, looked at the street that was getting brighter, and said to myself, 'Big deal...... Pick up the picture folder and wander the world. ’”

"But you're sorry to me." Lin Xi dreamed of that incident and said with a little resentment.

"That's fire reconnaissance." He said proudly. Lin Xi dreamed of it, and she remembered his move: "Why did you think of moving?" ”

"I rarely went home after I got married, but I had an excuse for not going home when I was in the army, saying that the army was busy with work and was far away from home. Coming back from the troops, this excuse is not appropriate. It's okay to say that you are busy with work, but Wutong is only a few dozen miles away from home after all, and there is a car, which will be there in dozens of minutes. In this case, I still don't go home, and my family can't help but feel anxious, including hers, who thinks it's abnormal. Some time ago, behind my back, they worked out a way to let her move to Wutong with her children and rent two houses dozens of meters away from the company. In this way, I don't have to worry about not going home. ”

"Do you fight?" She asked.

"I wish she had fought with me. But how? One is in the sky and the other is underground, they can't reach each other at all, they can't bump into each other, how can they fight? ”

"Does she love you?"

"Who knows."

"Who knows?"

"Once I asked her, 'If I, you, your brother, and the three of us are in the same boat, and the boat is about to sink, and between me and your brother there must be one person who will go down, and if he goes down, he will surely die, and let you choose, who will you push down?' She said, 'Push you down!' I asked: 'Why don't you push your brother down?' She said, 'That's my brother, how can I push my own brother down?' She couldn't help but look at the man lovingly.

"Tian Fu, have you thought about divorce?"

"Do you want to? I tried her, and she said that if I filed for divorce, she would die. ”

"Then we'll fly away."

"I'm desperate to take you away right now. However, if you think about it, once we leave here and go to another world, I am afraid that the whole Wutong will talk about us, condemn us, and make a storm all over the city. In particular, I am deeply worried about the damage to the reputation of my extended family. To put it mildly, I used to be proud and proud to live in this big family, and now, I even envy those homeless street children. When Fan Tianfu said this, Lin Ximeng seemed to see himself ten years ago.

At that time, like Fan Tianfu now, she valued her reputation far more than her life, so much so that she didn't even have the courage to wear a new dress.

Now more than ten years have passed, and she has already walked out of that misunderstanding. She finally understood that a good reputation was a shackle, a shackle, which bound her wings almost so tightly that she could not fly.

It wasn't until she smashed the shackles and shackles that she was able to travel lightly, fly into the sky, and soar freely.

She often thinks that it was all thanks to the books. If she hadn't read so many philosophical books, perhaps, she would have fallen into the mistake that she thought she should be like this and should not be like that, and she would have cherished and protected her feathers more brightly and beautifully than anyone else's.

Of course, she will never have wings. There is no doubt that Fan Tianfu is still the same as she was ten years ago. The contradiction between his wings and his excessive love for feathers pained him.

Because of this, she wasn't very sure if she could finally have him. She waited for him to choose between wings and feathers.

And what about Fan Tianfu? Will Fan Tianfu collect fragrant wood and **? Lin Ximeng couldn't help but look behind Fan Tianfu.

Behind him, on the beautiful and antique root carving, the shining red five-star yellow military hat was carefully placed.

It's so eye-catching, and it's so natural. And she knows very well that this choice is painful. It is almost like the childbirth of a pregnant woman, and the pain of childbirth almost kills her physically; And the pain caused by this contradictory choice almost killed her mentally.

She often thinks that Guo Moruo's "Phoenix Nirvana" may have been born after a similar choice.

The phoenix of fragrant wood and **, when she regained her life in pain, how happily she sang about her rebirth!

And what about Fan Tianfu? Will Fan Tianfu collect fragrant wood and **? Lin Ximeng couldn't help but look behind Fan Tianfu.

Behind him, on the beautiful and antique root carving, the shining red five-star yellow military hat was carefully placed.

It's so eye-catching, and it's so natural. She could barely help but shudder. Heaven!

There are too many traditional and old-fashioned things in Fan Tianfu's bones! And he has too few opportunities to accept new knowledge and new ideas!

It's too cruel to make him **! Isn't it? He was now only in the process of gathering fragrant wood, and this pain had already made him think of becoming a monk.

Although this sounds like a joke, it is enough to prove his contradictions, his distress, his helplessness, and he even has to escape the pain that ** is facing.

Lin Ximeng looked at the beloved man before Nirvana distressedly, feeling that he was powerless. At this time, anything she says will be superfluous and useless.

Just like when she was **. The difference is that at that time, no one around her looked at her, no one understood her, no one encouraged her, and no one gave her a little psychological courage.

She bent down and hugged him. She didn't say anything, just hugged the man tightly; Then, looking up at the handsome face deeply; Then she kissed passionately on that tender and beautiful lips, she wanted to kiss encouragement, she wanted to kiss courage, she wanted to kiss understanding, comfort, air, oxygen...... Kissed into the man's body.