I had mixed feelings, from the age of ten to twenty-four, for a whole fifteen years, I repeatedly tasted failure, fell and got up, fell and got up again and again, but I started from a small corner of Haicheng Dance Company, step by step out of the country, and finally walked to the center of the world ballet stage, raising the glass of success. It was the wife of the French Prime Minister at the time who presented the award to us, and I was so fortunate to have her wear a heavy medal for me and receive the certificate from her.

Everyone in the audience warmly congratulated me on my award, although when I first entered the competition, I felt that Westerners were somewhat disdainful of Chinese ballet. But when I stood on stage, they accepted and respected me with the same sincerity and enthusiasm. This is the charm of ballet and the support point for me to continue to pursue my dreams.

Paul came to congratulate me. "Paulkwa, you're amazing." Xiao Se translated, "He said, in this country famous for art, in this field that has always been dominated by Westerners, you surpassed all Europeans to win the gold medal, so that the world can see the ballet talent of Chinese, great!" ”

I can't seem to think of any other words to express my gratitude and excitement other than saying "thank you" over and over again.

A waiter came over with a bottle of wine, took the bottle, turned the cork, and the cork jumped away, and the smell of wine overflowed, and everyone cheered.

Both Paul and Schoese raised their glasses to celebrate me. I sipped my wine and looked at Xiao Se.

"Tong Xin, a toast to your award! Cheers to your future! He smiled and suddenly shook my hand, "A toast to our next meeting and our future!" ”

I clinked glasses with him, and the cups "ding" with a crisp sound. I tilted my head sideways and listened to the clinking of glasses.

Xiao Se tilted his neck and dried the wine in his glass.

The waiter poured more wine into his glass, and he drank several glasses in succession.

I was infected by him and drank two glasses in a row. Originally, I wanted to continue drinking, but Xiao Se couldn't help shouting: "Don't drink, your alcohol is poor, if you get drunk and can't get up, how can you catch a plane tomorrow."

"Would you like another drink?" I held the cup in one hand, half coquettish, "It's rare to be so happy, and if you're drunk, you won't have to say goodbye." ”

He restrained his smile and sighed. "Then drink."

I toasted again, and I saw the beautiful and dazzling light reflected on the crystal glass of light, and gradually, I felt that the whole room was shining with brilliance, like a room of jumping stars.

I was carried into the hotel room by Xiao Se, and by the time I left the venue, I was already drunk and staggering. Paul drove us back and the hotel waiter helped bring my suitcase into the room first.

Xiao Se laid me down on the bed and sat down beside me. I reached out and stroked his eyebrows, the bridge of his nose, and his lips. "You're so good-looking." I laughed happily.

He grabbed my hand and put it over his eyes. My fingers were a little wet. "Are you crying?" I asked confusedly.

He didn't speak, just grabbed my hand tighter.

"I want to cry." I muttered again, as if to myself, "I've been thinking about it for almost four years, and I'm finally together, and I'm going to be separated again." I got the medal and the certificate tonight, I'm very happy, but I'm also very sad, tomorrow after the separation, I will start thinking about you every day, I don't know what year and month I want to think about. When you have a girlfriend one day, you must tell me as soon as possible, so that my thoughts will be broken......"

I don't remember what else was said afterwards, but I felt his strong arms wrap around me. I cried out in my heart: "Hold me forever, never leave me again!"

"Tong Xin!" He called me, so gently, so gently, so tender that it broke my heart. My eyes were hot, and tears were pouring into my eyes, and they were about to burst out. Through his eyes filled with tears, his face seemed to be immersed in a pool of autumn water, blurry and distant.

He kissed me suddenly, I unconsciously wrapped my arms around his neck, closed my eyes involuntarily, moaned involuntarily, and couldn't help but respond to him enthusiastically, tears wetting his face.

I lingered with him half-drunk and half-awake, and he tossed and called out my name in my ear: "Tong Xin! Tong Xin! Tong Xin! ......" this call turned into my deepest heartache and most helpless grief, mixed with the surging pleasure, such a strong impact and shocked me. I clung to him as desperately as a drowning man grabbed a life-saving driftwood and rose and fell in the stormy seas......

No matter how heartbroken and tearful we were last night, in the morning, we still smiled goodbye. "Don't send me to the airport, seeing me off will only add to the sadness." I said to him. I still remember what he said all those years ago, and I say it deeply.

Paul drove me up and took me to the airport. Xiao Se and I kissed goodbye at the door of the Louvre Hotel, and the early morning sun shone on the ancient building, illuminating a long history. The sun was shining on Xiao Se's body, and he stood there waving to me, draped in a dreamy color. I leaned on the window and watched as the color grew farther and farther away, eventually disappearing from view.

Farewell, Xiao Se, farewell Paris, I took away the glory I dreamed of, but I left behind an unforgettable love!

From Paris to Sea City, I returned with honors and a new page in my dance career. It was probably time for the troupe to start rehearsing a large number of new dance dramas. My life seems to have revolved around training and competition all these years, and there is basically no real "dancing" except for the Chinese version of Romeo and Juliet, dancing is an expression that I particularly crave for it.

The first dance drama we rehearsed was Giselle, one of the masterpieces of Romantic ballet in its heyday in the mid-19th century. I was very excited to be the heroine, and "Giselle" is a work that every ballet actress in the world loves very much and wants to jump to. Because, this work has a strong dramatic tension, as well as extremely beautiful and strong appeal. If you perform on stage, it will be very enjoyable.

From the point of view of concept, the most valuable thing about this drama for me is to say "true feelings". A tragedy of love and forgiveness, Giselle, a rural girl in the prime of her cardamom years, is devastated to the point of a nervous breakdown when she learns that she has misused her love for the cynical son of a nobleman, Yalbate, and kills herself by Yalbate's sword. While paying his respects at Giselle's tomb, Yalbat was haunted by the ghost of the dead, but fortunately Gisele's ghost guarded him until dawn. The story shows the pure kindness of the maiden to the infection of the suitor and the purification of her soul.

I learned that in the 80s of the last century, our dance company rehearsed "Giselle" for the first time, and the heroine at that time was Xiao Se's deceased mother Ye Ying, which was also the last dance drama Ye Ying starred in. At that time, Ye Ying, as a well-known ballet artist and principal ballet star of the company, co-starred with the principal star actor of the Bolshoi Theater in the whole play "Giselle", which was widely warmly welcomed. Perhaps, as Xiao Se said, I have a deep fate with their family, and in the dark, I am following in the footsteps of Ye Ying, and unremitting pursuit and struggle for our equally beloved ballet.

As an annual drama carefully created by the company, the rehearsal of "Giselle" is directed and produced by the troupe's director Yu Xingpei. After Ye Ying withdrew from the stage, Yu Xingpei took over as the heroine of "Giselle", which has long been integrated into her blood, and it is also an important part of her love and dance career. Her rehearsals for our dancers are almost "demanding", and the choreography of some of the dance sections is also unique and refreshing.

As early as when I was in dance school, I skipped the clip of "Giselle", but I was too young and immature at the time, and I had no experience in acting, and I didn't understand feelings, so it was difficult to understand the inner emotions of the characters. And now, after experiencing a love affair with Xiao Se, expressing the delicate emotional changes of the characters in the play has become my strength.

"If your lover breaks up with you, don't hate him, because years later you will recall how precious the joy he brought you." I don't remember who said it, but it was a reflection of my heart. When I was in school, I had to ponder for a long time about emotional drama, and this time, when the music sounded, I immediately felt an unprecedented throbbing, that was a feeling of being completely melted by the music and completely pulled out by the plot, Giselle's fate and my emotions were clearly and truly intertwined, I freely interpreted the emotional world of a kind girl who was suffering because of love, and often couldn't help but cry, whether it was for Giselle or for myself, I couldn't tell the difference.

With New Year's Day just around the corner, Giselle will be the opening act of the Company's 2010 Chinese New Year season. On December 18, my birthday sent him an electronic birthday card, telling him about my recent appearance in "Giselle" and my fate with Ye Ying about the show. He was probably very busy and never responded to my emails.

On the weekend night before the performance, because of Yu Meng's birthday, a few of our good friends got together again. Yu Meng's birthday is at the end of the year, just like Xiao Se, she has not been in the mood to celebrate her birthday over the years, and she is even a little resistant to this kind of birthday party. But this year, Luo Wenhao took matters into his own hands to do it for her, and even her friends invited her for her, so it was naturally unreasonable for her not to appear as the protagonist.