Until, until, that day, I was under the Bodhi tree, the first time I saw the 'girl', she served me a cup of tea, when she got up, her sleeve brushed the back of my hand, as if she had missed it in the previous life, and the empty 'hole' in my heart in this life is nothing more than the first encounter in this scene.

I know that I am not truly pure and have no 'desires', but because I am too easily attached to becoming a demon, I have a Buddha in my heart, which is also Master's wish.

I saw her follow Uncle Jue into the meditation room, I sipped tea, there was no 'wave' in my heart, in my opinion, she was just like those 'women' who believed in men and kindness under the mountain, and I was not even the slightest curious about her face under the black gauze hat.

When I was in Fahua Temple, it was the master who asked me to come over, and he said, Banxuan, go to the capital, take a look, and then walk around.

I have always understood that Master is afraid that one day the Buddha in my heart will eliminate the last bit of ordinary thoughts, and in the end, the rest will either be as cold as ice or destroy myself, and he wants me to find a little souvenir.

But memorial, I have never told the master, I have no memory of this world, I have no memory of this world, I don't owe them anything, all the ugliness, what do I do, as long as I kill the Duan family, but this long-cherished wish, even if it is King Min, if I don't want to, he can't embarrass me.

I feel that Master has given me another kind of world, which is higher than the ordinary, and my heart is like a half-mystical time more and more, and I am not afraid, but faintly expectant, in fact, Master's kind of dry sitting is a hundred years of life, and I think it is also 'very' good.

In the blink of an eye, you will already be old, and the misery of the world will be a passing cloud.

So when the little novice asked me to save her, I deliberately delayed it until late, and only after the dusk was 'colored' did I go down to Fahua Temple.

In my heart, I naturally don't want to care about this kind of nosy, but Master said that if a child's request is pure, even if it is satisfied, this is also a kind of life.

I watched her being molested by a girl who was also a 'woman', and her face did not change at all, and her pale eyebrows seemed to be filled with a lot of water with thin ink, and then they were smudged, which made her whole person as peaceful as a white 'jade', or the kind of slight cold that could not be warmed.

According to what Yuanfang said, I made a move, this is a very simple thing, I thought that in a place like Xiabeifang, a deep boudoir like her would avoid it like a snake and scorpion.

I remember a long time later, her hands were very small and white, and her fingers were very slender, but she held the golden hairpin very hard, and the scarlet 'mystic' blood 'color' splashed out of the man's eyes, dyed her dress, and wiped her fingers red.

For the first time, I thought that the color of blood could be so beautiful.

Like the fireworks of hell that are not extinguished in life and death, burning fiercely and tenaciously, tenaciously interspersing between heaven and earth, the vigorous vitality of wanting to live is frightening.

My heart was shaken, the things on 'Hua' Jiu had always been something I had envied and that I had never had before.

It can't be said that there is no, when I was in the mud alley, there were also those who worked hard to live, even if the back was broken and crawling, it was still to live.

It's just that later, when was it consumed? When he promised Xi Huayue not to do anything to Duan? When you are tossed by that killing intent and don't 'become' into a human form?

Or when you are chanting Buddhist scriptures with Master......

Anyway, I've forgotten, I just remember that I'm going to kill Duan, so there will be nothing to 'wave' at the heartstrings, and I can wait to grow old, and then I can die.

For the first time, there was a 'girl' who could make me linger on her for a while.

When I was Mr. Xi, I followed the king of Ningjun to enter and exit the 'flower' mansion freely, this high 'gate' compound, I just stepped into the Xi family and knew that it was the same as the Xi family in Zhaozhou, I watched her step by step in this crisis-ridden family, tricks to turn the tables, to her smile with a light smile to attract spiders to eat people, from beginning to end, pile by pile, I have never seen other expressions on her face other than cold and ruthless.

I remembered my former self, when I entered the Xi Mansion and knew that I had collected my sharp wolf claws, I also calculated like this, and plotted to seize the Mulberry Garden of the Xi family, and stood in the 'gate' of that house as an 'illegal' child.

In a sense, she and I are both lonely people walking on the dark road.

But I still have a Master, but what does she have?

After that, I'm willing to give her a hand when she needs it, why not? Just like the one Master pulled me when I was about to go crazy.

For me, this is a simple matter, comparable to the time it takes me to lean over to pick up a fallen Bodhi leaf, and I know that for 'Hua' Jiu, it may be a glimmer of life.

I have always disdained what the Buddha said that saving a person's life is better than building a seventh-level floating slaughter, but if the object of homeopathic action is 'flower' nine, then I am willing to spend some time.

I think that I have been walking alone for too long, there is no light, no sound, except for the obsession of wanting to kill Duan, and now, when I see 'Hua' Jiu, I feel that maybe I can look at her more, like looking at my former self.

This 'woman' is destined to be excellent, and the gentle light she hides like a pearl under her indifference will one day be discovered by a man, and then treasured, day and night not to be shared.

The first person I ever saw who admired Hua Jiu was her cousin, a proud man who had a reputation for being a genius, and who would also have a soft side in front of her.

I found out as Mr. Xi in the liquidation of the dowry in the 'Hua' Mansion of King Ningjun, and with just one glance, I knew that she would never choose this man.

It's just that his love from the very beginning is not pure enough, and his feelings for her are mixed with too much calculation and utilitarianism.

How could a person like 'Hua' Jiu with such a hard heart look at such a flawed relationship.

At that time, I didn't realize why I knew her to the point where I was like this, and the 'exchange' between us was only a few words, and she didn't even know how many faces and identities I had.

But I just know as much as I know myself.

After that, she went to Fahua Temple to ask for approval, and Uncle Jue asked me to send her a letterhead, the rain and fog were hazy, and I saw her standing in the rain and saluting me, and the already light 'colored' eyebrows instantly merged with the rain and mist, like a rain man who would melt away at any time, without the breath of a living person.

I gave her Bodhi leaves, as well as the blue-faced oil paper umbrella, Bodhi leaves I naturally knew that she would use them, in fact, I also mean that, after all, sometimes Banxuan's identity is 'very' easy to use, and it is even easier to bluff people.

But the oil-paper umbrella, I just think she looks like a 'yin' spirit who can't see the light of the sun and the moon at that moment, with a cold beauty, but deep in her heart is a frozen despair, and the 'yin' spirit naturally has to hold an umbrella anytime and anywhere.

I think I may have to be entangled with this 'girl' in this life, but on the day of her wedding, I watched her marry Princess Yonghe and enter the 'flower' sedan chair of Zhaozhou Xi's family, and it was at this moment that I realized that she had been making such a calculation.

For Princess Yonghe, it was just a means for King Min, he needed a neutral princess to join his camp, I even planned to come, as soon as the princess married to Zhaozhou, I would retreat from the identity of Xi Jia Zixiao, from now on there is no such person, I can be a noble and pure like a fairy Banxuan, or a layman Mr. Xi, but in short, it will not be Xi Zixiao, I actually hate that identity.

In the station, I asked her several times, will she regret marrying the son of the family?

She said with a light smile on her lips, no.

I can foresee that as soon as she marries into the Xi family, she will face the fate of being widowed, and I can also foresee that the people of the Xi family will not treat her well......

But I can't say any, I can't say a word.

That night, I stayed up all night, and for the first time in so many years, I had a heavy feeling in my heart, as if there was a person suddenly hanging there, and I couldn't ignore it, but I couldn't manage it at all.

Everything was as I expected, the Xi family embarrassed her, even wanted her to be a concubine, asked her to be a widow, and even wanted to rob the mulberry garden I deliberately left.

I saw her guarding "my" corpse, listened to her sigh how Xi Qianqian and Xi Huayue treated me, and could even feel the resentment in her tone, and then she said that if she died, I am afraid that no one would hold a vigil for her......

I can't tell what it feels like to hear those words, but I feel that the golden abacus that I have always been used to holding in my hand suddenly became heavy, and I rushed out and said a penny, if you die, I will keep your spirit.

She said that she would not wait for the expiration date.

Those four words actually made me feel sad, and when she said this, she looked exactly the same as the last time in the rain and fog, fluttering not like a living person, without weight, thin and without a sense of existence.

The first time I realized that this 'girl' was afraid that I would not be able to leave it in my life, that was when she walked in the mourning hall, she held my fake corpse, and would rather be injured than let go, I took her out of the fire, I was nervous about whether she was injured, and at that moment I clearly realized that since the day she married me, it is a responsibility that I can no longer give up.

Yes, she is my wife, my duty, an existence that I cannot abandon until I die.

However, in the eyes of everyone, Xi Zixiao is dead, and I am just Mr. Xi, Mr. Xi's bookkeeper.

With such a cognition, naturally in Xifu, within the scope of Mr. Xi, I can protect her as much as I can, and this is the only thing I can make up for a little.

Day after day, I began to want to be close to her, she was my wife, and there would be something wrong with being close to my own wife, because in my heart, she was as important as Master, an indispensable part of me.

Then, I realized that she was actually wary of me, and even more disdainful of Xi Zixiao.

I'm glad I did, fortunately, she was just a little wary of Mr. Xi, not annoying, and what really made me want to restore Xi Zixiao's identity was that I noticed-

'Flower' nine pairs of Huayue have a heartbeat.