Chapter 37: Courage
In the face of failure, we are not afraid, we will not stop fighting, forge ahead, regain self-confidence, set sail, and ride the wind and waves.
Failure after failure has made the young biologist's hair gray. But he didn't want to give up, time was pressing, and if he couldn't succeed tonight, then tomorrow he would have to roll up and leave.
He had made a promise that he would be able to complete the study within a week. But now nine days had passed, and he was two days late, and it was only after his begging that he had been given an extra three days. And now, with less than three hours left, he no longer has the confidence he had before, he can't help but have a crisis of trust in himself, and he has begun to deny himself, this negative attitude once made him fall into deep self-blame and despair.
He wanted to use alcohol to kill his sorrows, but there was only alcohol here, but he still had his own tricks up his sleeve to make a normal taste of liquor. After a few minutes of making the liquor, he lay down in a chair with a beaker containing less than 100 milliliters of liquor, took a sip and felt dizzy after a few seconds.
Alas, it seems that I can't drink too much! My eyes are not good, my fingers are not good, my legs are not good, what else can I do to make it?
He angrily threw the beaker to the ground, and the beaker shattered with a snap, and the liquor spilled on the ground in a radiant shape.
He had already smelled the smell of liquor in the air, looked down, and noticed the appearance of the liquor spilling on the ground, as if he had found some kind of breakthrough. He pondered quietly.
Yes, yes, that's it! That's right!
He began to growl, waved his arms, and hurried to the workbench to continue his experiments.
Half an hour later, he sat down on the ground, his eyes no longer shining as before.
He failed again, and even if he received a sudden inspiration, it still couldn't save him, and it still couldn't increase the success rate of the experiment.
He lay on the ground, looking at the ceiling, his hands clenched into fists, and slammed them on the ground.
One hit, two blows, three strokes,......, his hands were already red, he completely ignored the pain in his hands, he already had the idea of self-harm, he wanted to torture himself, he wanted to use himself to vent the anger and dissatisfaction in his heart, and it was useless to punish himself for not being angry.
He picked up the broken glass shards of the beaker on the ground, held a sharp shard of glass in his trembling right hand, slowly approached his left wrist, and as soon as he touched it, he quickly threw the glass shards away.
He didn't dare, he was afraid of pain, he was afraid of bloodshed.
He crouched on the ground and cried with his head in his hands, pounding his head hard. At this time, he had another idea in his head, and this idea was even better than the previous one. So, he straightened his big white coat and returned to the console.
More than twenty minutes later, he failed again.
Yes!!!
He yelled, his voice echoing through the lab, in the hallways, throughout the building.
The security guard downstairs glanced up, shook his head, and sighed: "Crazy again."
He slowly retreated to the corner of the room, where he sat down like a crouching prisoner, holding his head and waiting for the unfair treatment of his fellow inmates.
He was utterly hopeless.
He began to make excuses for himself, he felt that this was all he had learned, that his PhD was not enough to complete this experiment, that he had tried all the methods he could think of, and that he began to wonder if the experiment itself was wrong, if it could not be done at all? Then, he began to think again, he didn't sleep well today, he was not in a state, if he had enough sleep and could have a better mental state, he decided that he could do better. After that, he began to wonder if there was a problem with the raw materials for the experiment. Is it because the people in the materials department have not prepared the materials? Is someone targeting themselves? Oh yes, someone must be trying to hurt me!
He was thinking like this, and suddenly felt relaxed, it turned out that it was not that he couldn't do it, but that the materials themselves couldn't do it, and there were other people who were cheating on him.
Just when he wanted this to end, and then he told his boss early tomorrow morning that someone was going to pit him.
Immediately afterward, he thought, no, that material has been tested by himself, there is no problem.
He hurriedly found the material list, looked at it carefully again, spent a few minutes and hours, and rechecked it, and the result was that there was no problem, and it was genuine.
He was even more depressed, and he even had the idea of doubting others, and he began to wonder if there was a devil who had entered his body and controlled his brain, so that he could have such immoral thoughts.
He put down the bill of materials and test results, sat down in his chair, and began to seriously reflect on himself.
Since there is no problem with the material, and there is no problem with me myself, could it be that there is a problem during the operation?
So, he decided to calm down his mentality, calm down, he was ready to carry out the experiment step by step this time, there would be no jumps in between, and he would stay on the console, not leaving every minute or second. He had to keep an eye on his hands to make sure nothing went wrong. He had to keep an eye on the computer screen to make sure that he could see any changes in the data during the experiment.
Experiments that used to take less than half an hour to complete, this time he took an hour, and if the results still didn't work, then he had less than an hour left.
Be sure to succeed! Be sure to succeed! It must be a success!
He kept shouting in his heart, his eyes glued to the computer screen, just waiting for the green word success to appear.
Time passed minute by minute, the computer was still checking the results, the tension in his heart had turned into suffocation, he felt that his heart was about to stop, in order not to let himself wander, he always maintained a high level of attention, and his breath was only once every ten seconds. His eyes were thick and bloodshot, and his pupils were wide.
His spirit was close to breaking down, and if it turned out to be a failure, his world would fall apart, and he would be plunged into endless darkness. There will be no meaning in his life.
Why is it so slow?
He waited a long time. It's like waiting a day.
Hey? I haven't been doing it for so long in the previous experiments, is it going to be successful?
Thinking of this, he suddenly became excited and looking forward to it, and he didn't have the impatient mood he had before.
Backbite! The computer rang and startled him.
Two big red fonts appeared in his eyes, and he was stunned for a moment.
How so? Waited so long or failed?
He sat down in his chair, his mind was gone, his mind was blank, there were no relatives, no friends, no happy laughter.
He closed his eyes, adjusted his breathing, and slowly began to accept reality. He looked at the time, and there were still more than twenty minutes until tomorrow.
He just sighed softly, walked to the door, picked up the broom and dustpan, and swept away the shards of glass scattered on the ground.
He had given up, and he was not going to continue torturing himself.
He's ready to leave here tomorrow. He has a doctorate degree, even if he leaves this company, the world is so big, doesn't there be a place for himself?
He stood in the doorway, ready to turn off the lights and leave here.
Even in the advanced stages of obsessive-compulsive disorder, he gladly accepted the unfinished experiment.
The sudden brightness of his mood made him full of hope for the future, and he felt a little lost and reluctant in his heart. He's been working here for three years, and he's got a feeling for the bottles and cans here, and while it's not enough to want to talk to them, the familiarity is rare. With these familiarities, you will be relieved to start experimenting, and you will be more handy and fluent.
He lowered his head and sighed, his experiment was not successful, so he couldn't continue to stay here to do experiments, what was the use of thinking about this?
Turning off the lights and closing the door, he wasn't going to lock it either, because he knew he wouldn't come again tomorrow.
His lab is on the twenty-first floor, and he needs to take an elevator to get downstairs.
As he watched the elevator slowly rise from the first floor to the twenty-first floor, he began to think about what his boss would say about him and criticize him tomorrow, how his colleagues would laugh at him, and how his only best friend might leave him.
He accepted the worst, and this little humiliation didn't have a big impact.
Bite! The elevator stopped on the twenty-first floor, the door opened, he walked in, and pressed the button on the first floor.
Just when he thought the elevator would go down, the elevator continued to go up inexplicably.
Well? Going up? Could it be that there are still people working overtime and not going home?
He watched as the elevator reached the twenty-fifth floor, and then slowly slowed down.
Twenty-five floors? Isn't that the boss's layer? Is the boss still there? Damn, it's over, my experiment hasn't been finished yet, and I haven't figured out the wording to explain to my boss tomorrow! What can I do? Or do you mean I'm done? And then tell him tomorrow that he lied? No, no, I'm not that kind of person. If I lie, it will have a negative impact on my reputation and will have an impact on my job search in the future. But what to say? Oh yes, don't say anything, keep it mysterious, and let the boss guess for himself, hahaha.
Bite! The elevator stopped on the twenty-fifth floor, clicked, and the door opened, but there was no one.
He poked his head out to see that there was still no one.
Whew, no one is good, and the province will show its stuffing as soon as it is nervous.
Click, the elevator door closes again, however, the elevator is still going up.
Well? Is there anyone else up there? Wrong! This building has 25 floors! There's no floor up there!
He saw that the elevator showed that the number of floors he had reached had reached was thirty.
He began to worry, wondering if he knew something he shouldn't have known and had come somewhere he shouldn't.
The elevator door opened, but he didn't dare to go out, and cowered in the corner of the elevator, waiting to see who would come in. However, after waiting for a long time, no one came in, and it stands to reason that the elevator door will automatically close at this time and go to other floors, but now the elevator door is still open, but it is not closed.
Could it be that I am waiting, I, going out?
He thought word by word in his heart, and then stepped out of the elevator step by step, and as soon as he left the elevator with his hind feet, the elevator behind him closed with a click. He quickly turned around to stop the elevator from going down, but how could he have that ability.
He pressed the button next to the elevator door and wanted the elevator to come up, but after pressing it for a long time, there was no response, and the light on the button was not on. He looked up and saw that the elevator had returned to the first floor.
Holy, so fast? Is the elevator the rhythm of escape?
He turned to look at the floor, there were no lights, no corridors, as if it was a large room as soon as he came out of the elevator.
He pulled out his phone, turned on the flashlight on it, and began to explore his surroundings. There was no sound around, no furnishings, and I walked around and didn't even see a window.
Hey, anyone? Anyone? People? People? Is it? Is it?
He only shouted a word, and then he heard a burst of echoes.
Hearing his own voice, he instantly felt a chill spread from under his feet. He shuddered, and then he noticed that the temperature here was very low, probably less than ten degrees.
He was about to call his good friend and ask him to come to him, but when he looked at it, he realized that the signal here was only one bar.
He tried several times to get through to the phone, but his voice was intermittent and he couldn't hear what was being said. His good friend woke up from his sleep and heard the sound of his mobile phone and his intermittent voice, and asked several times before he roughly understood that he was trapped in the company building.
His good friend is a painter in the Propaganda Department, who is more introverted and loves to paint. The two met by chance at an exhibition held by the painter, and since then they have often gotten together to chat, become familiar with each other, and become a pair of good friends.
His good friend drove to the company in the middle of the night, said hello to the security guard, entered the building, took the elevator to the 21st floor, and saw that the door of the laboratory was not locked, and the lights inside were not on. So, his good friend wanted to call him and ask him where he was.
After his good friend dialed the number, he waited for a long time and no one answered, and he immediately became worried.
Later, his good friend wandered around the twenty-first floor to see if he was in the toilet.
After turning around, he still didn't find anyone, and his good friend was a little anxious. At this time, his call came, and his good friend quickly answered the phone.
Feed? Where are you? I can't find you!
I...... Three...... layers, which ...... Black...... Oooo
Before he could hear what he was saying, the phone hung up, and his good friend vaguely heard a three-word word.
Is it on the twenty-third floor? Well, go see, and if he's not there, I'll leave him alone.
His best friend took the elevator to the twenty-third floor, which was equally quiet, no one was here.
Okay, you're playing hide and seek with me? Okay, you go ahead and hide. Calling me in the middle of the night to play hide and seek with you? Play by yourself, I'm gone!
His good friend angrily pressed the button of the elevator, but after pressing it for a long time, there was no response.
Well? Broken this is? No way? Is it broken at this time?
He decided to go downstairs to the twenty-second floor and take the elevator.
The elevator button on the twenty-second floor was also not lit, and his good friend ran to the twenty-first floor, which was also unusable.
Nima, what's the situation? Is it a prank?
In this way, his good friend didn't plan to take the elevator anymore and went straight to the stairs, while he sat on the ground on the thirtieth floor, looking at his phone, waiting for his good friend to call.
When he was a little sleepy, he lay down on the ground and fell asleep.
The next morning, his boss was looking for him, but he couldn't find him for a long time, and later someone said that he had seen him on the thirteenth floor. By the time the boss felt the thirteenth floor, he was still lying on the ground. The boss was very angry, and he was still sleeping at this time, so he walked over and patted him, but he didn't respond.
The boss saw that hey, he was sleeping quite dead, so he kicked him, but he was still indifferent.
It won't be ...... Dead, right?
The boss thought about it, squatted down tremblingly, and touched his neck.
Cold!
The boss instantly retracted his hand, and hurriedly beckoned his subordinates to call the police, and by the way, called the people from the hospital to come over.
On the other side, his best friend was still sullen and angry with him about what happened last night.
A few hours later, his experiments were discovered in his laboratory. At this time, people learned that he had completed the experiment. For the record, the experiment was completed at 11:31 p.m. last night.
Finish.