Saturday, April 2, fine

My mother took me to Yanma Street to buy candy, and there were so many sweets there.

I asked my mother why it was called Yanma Street.

Mom said that in the past, big cigarettes and marijuana were sold on the street.

So why is it still called Yanma Street and not Candy Street?

Mom picked out several kinds of sweets for me. I said I just had to eat the boo-flavored ones. My mom bought me a boro-flavored one.

Actually, I like to eat them all, but I know my mother doesn't have any money.

There was a madman on Yanma Street, who looked so pitiful. I secretly gave him a candy.

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Monday, May 16, cloudy

Help mom kill chickens today.

I grabbed the chicken's feet with one hand and its wings with the other. The mother put a handful of hairs on the chicken's neck, then cut the hairless area and used a bowl to catch the blood coming out of the chicken's neck.

The chicken must be in pain, struggling fiercely. I couldn't catch it, and as soon as I let go, the chicken ran away. When it ran, its neck was still bleeding, and after a while, it stopped walking and fell to the ground. There was blood everywhere on the ground.

Although it's pathetic, it's been a long, long time since I've eaten chicken, and I'm pathetic too.

But my mother wouldn't let me eat it.

Mom said the chicken was for Dad.

She cooked the chicken, took another bottle of wine, and put it on her father's grave.

Mom said that today is Dad's day.

But Dad is dead, and dead people don't eat chickens.

Mom said Dad would eat it. Mom is so superstitious!

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Tuesday, May 17, cloudy

I secretly went to the cemetery last night.

I don't believe Dad would crawl out of the grave and eat chicken. If I don't go, the chicken will definitely be eaten by the wild dogs, not the dad.

The chicken was delicious.

When I was eating chicken, I suddenly missed my dad.

I don't remember what he looked like.

When I was young, he loved me the most, often carried me to Mangdian to play, and took me to ride a wooden horse. After that, he rarely came back, and even when he did, it was in the middle of the night.

Then he died.

Everyone said that he was a bad guy and a poisonous man.

I think what they say is true.

One time my father came back with blood all over his body, and my mother kept crying. Dad pulled out a packet of white powder. Mom gave Dad an injection, and after the injection, Dad pressed Mom on the bed very hard, and Mom screamed loudly in pain.

They thought I was asleep, but I did. I really want to get rid of my dad.

At night, the cemetery is very dark, with only a little light from the stars coming in.

I was full, and left half a chicken at the grave.

Dad, though you're a bad person, I miss you.

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Tuesday, May 31, light rain

Mom is smoking again.

When she doesn't suck, it gets very uncomfortable, and when I see her uncomfortable, I feel very uncomfortable.

Mom said she could see Dad when she smoked.

But she didn't allow me to smell her smoke, saying it was poisonous.

I told her to stop sucking.

She said that when I grew up, she would stop sucking.

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Friday, June 3, fine

The knife baby said I stole his eraser. I said I didn't steal. He hit me, and I hit him. He complained to Mr. Luo.

Teacher Luo asked me why I was stealing erasers. I said I didn't steal. Teacher Luo threw my schoolbag to the ground, and the colored pencil that Enkun Ah Gong bought for me broke, and I was very sad.

Teacher Luo asked me to owe to Dao Wazi. I don't owe anything. I didn't steal, so why should I owe?

He said that if I hit someone, I would have to pay a debt. But the knife baby hit me first. Why didn't he owe?

Teacher Luo scolded me for being a poisonous xie and asked me to stand against Libijiao. In the corner of the classroom, you must stand against the wall, and you are not allowed to move.

When I was standing in the corner, the knife boy hit me in the back, and my classmates threw me chalk and drew turtles on my back.

I didn't cry.

When I got home, my mother saw that I had black green on my hands and asked me what was wrong? I said I fell at the mouth of the dam.

My mother asked me if it hurt, and I said no.

I wanted to cry, but I didn't.

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Sunday, June 19, fine

There were a lot of terrible strangers in the house, and they all had strange pictures painted on them.

My mother told me to hide in the back room and not go out.

I heard them talking outside, but I couldn't understand a word.

Then they left, and I heard my mother crying outside.

I went out and asked my mom what was wrong? Mom doesn't speak.

I saw some money on the table.

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Thursday, July 7, rain

Mom really stopped smoking. I guess it's because I've grown up. I'm already good at picking tea, and when I'm a little older, I'll be able to help my mother pick and dry it.

But Mom seemed to be sick. She went to Mandian for injections. I saw a lot of black spots on her arm from the injections.

I don't want to go to school anymore. Anyway, no one in the school liked me, they all said that I was a descendant of bad people, a poisonous xie.

I don't want to be a poisoner, I want to help my mother cook, do laundry, and do farm work.

They all said it was tiring to work, but I didn't feel tired at all. As long as I'm with my mother, I'm not afraid of anything.

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Tuesday, August 2, cloudy

Mom is getting thinner. She's been getting weird lately, often saying she's leaving, she's going to find her dad.

They said that the mother had a disease called Aizi.

There are many people who have been injected in Mandian who have contracted this disease.

I think my mother is sick and my father is dead, where can I find it?

I went to find Nkun Ah Gong, and I said to Ah Gong, "Ah Gong, I want to find a new father so that my mother will not always miss my father." ”

Nkun Ah Gong smoked a cigarette and said, "Okay." ”

Ah Gong is getting older and older. I told him not to smoke. He always said, "Good. "But it kept pumping.

My grandfather gave me a fish and asked me to give a ton of soup to my mother.

I happily went home and made fish soup for my mother.

I said to my mother, "If you eat fish soup, you will be cured." When you are well, Nkun Ah Gong promises to find me a new father, so that you will not be sad. ”

Mom happily ate the fish soup. I think I'll have a new dad soon.

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Saturday, August 27, cloudy

Mom kept coughing and vomiting a lot of blood.

I went to find Nkun Ah Gong, and Ah Gong found someone to send my mother to Mangdian. We took the car in Mangdian to Ruihekou.

My first time in a car. The speed of the car is fast, like flying. But mom was very uncomfortable. I saw her so uncomfortable that I wasn't in the mood to look out the window.

We arrived at the hospital at the mouth of the river in Rui. The doctor gave my mother an injection. There is a long, thin tube attached to the tail of the needle with a bag of water attached. Drop by drop water flowed into my mother's body, and my mother's dry face became moist.

I washed my mother's face and she woke up.

My mother took my hand and said, "Beauty, I want to go home." ”

I asked her, "Why?" ”

"It's not comfortable here, it's comfortable at home," she said. ”

We stayed in the hospital for two days. The doctor said, "You can go home." "We went home.

Mom was lying in bed, I washed her hands, and she asked me to get my dad's picture.

I took my dad's picture off the wall and gave it to her and went to cook.

When the meal was cooked, I went to call my mother, who was already dead, holding the picture of my father tightly in her arms.