"In the past, I just refused to grow, but now that I think about it, people can't always live in their own ideals."

Holding the water glass elegantly, Song Jiajia's face was self-deprecating, "Life is always unsatisfactory...... Good night, I'm getting married, aren't you happy for me? ”

Barely cheering up, Mu Wan'an looked at her, "What kind of person is it?" Is it good for you? ”

"I'm a doctor, I have a good job, and my mom loves it. It should be said that people from that era liked it very much. The character and family background are still passable. ”

Speaking of this, Song Jiajia's eyes finally brought a little vividness, "Speaking of which, both of us are married women, and in this year, both of us have married ourselves." What are you going to do? You can't always spend the rest of your life alone, right? ”

Hearing the meaning of her friend's words, Mu Wan'an shook her head, and she sighed:

"I know your intentions, but if I can't get over this hurdle myself, no matter how much you say, I can't accept it. If you think about it, in the past few relationships, I have always made the same mistake over and over again, and I am too easy to invest in a new relationship, the so-called giving-type personality, which is me. If I'm still so tired, I don't want to be in a relationship anymore. Like you said, at this age, what are you tossing? ”

"Look, you just said that I ...... Aren't you the same now? ”

couldn't help laughing, Song Jiajia looked at her, "You are different from me, I am forced by the pressure of life, so I can't enjoy love." But now you are simply the heroine of a fairy tale, life is only a few decades, just a game, what can you not afford to lose? ”

"You couldn't have said these things before."

couldn't help but look down at the cup of fruit tea in front of her, which she ordered for herself, Mu Wan's night couldn't tell the sadness in her heart.

After sending Song Jiajia away, when she returned to the hotel by car, she saw the high school she had attended, and couldn't help but stop the driver and walked in by herself.

Because of the construction of a new campus, the old campus here is vacant, people walk in it, even time seems to go back, she stood in front of the classroom where she had stayed in the third year of high school, facing the empty classroom, suddenly remembered her high school days.

Her high school was a little more cautious and self-contained than others. The only luxury and relaxation in life probably came from my friend Song Jiajia.

They are people of two worlds:

Song Jiajia is a member of the entertainment committee of the class, she has a wealthy family, she has a great father who is often mentioned by the teacher, her mother is also elegant and generous, she is also very popular in the class, no one will not like a lively and cheerful classmate;

And she grew up in an orphanage, although the head teacher didn't say anything, but her classmates would faintly talk behind her back - there are too few children who can go to high school and grow up in orphanages, and most of the orphanages she is in except for her have gone out to work after completing nine years of compulsory education.

Occasionally, she wondered where the children who had lived with had gone. Why is there no news after separation, like water entering a river?

No one can tell her why, just like no one can explain why Song Jiajia became good friends with her.

One is a lady of the sky, and the other is an orphan girl who is low to the dust.

Later, in order to chat with her from time to time, Song Jiajia deliberately chose the seat next to her, and she often quietly came over with a small note when the teacher was lecturing:

"Good night, do you know that boy in our class likes you?"

"Who?"

She glanced at the teacher who was impassionedly solving the problem, pretended to take notes, and pushed the note back.

"It seems that you don't know, if you don't know, forget it. But I have one thing to share with you, I am with Ji Chen!! ”

She used several exclamation points, presumably very happy, Mu Wan's night couldn't help but raise the corners of her mouth, and then wrote:

"Is that the school grass that is one year above us?"

"It turns out that you are not a nerd, you also know these gossips, hahaha, yes, it's him, I thought he would be difficult to chase, but I didn't expect it to be easy to catch up. But I think in fact, our Xu Shuo in this session is also good-looking, one Ji Chen and one Xu Shuo, it is simply the façade of our middle school! ”

"Is it that pretty?"

crumpled her original note and changed it to a piece of paper to write it down, Mu Wannight knew that the teachers at this stage were all cracking down on early love, and she couldn't let her friend be caught by the teacher because of passing a small note.

The friendship between girls is particularly precious with the sharing of secrets, Mu Wan'an doesn't know how her relationship with the school grass has developed, but one day, she suddenly handed over a small note in math class:

"Actually, I think it's best when love is still not available, I used to think that Ji Chen was a kaolin flower, but now when he says those fleshy words to me every day, I think he has changed his core."

"Are you here to abuse a single dog?"

"No, I'm really complaining to you!"

At the end of this sentence, Song Jiajia also drew a distressed emoji, Mu Wannight couldn't help but smile, but Limak maintained his usual calm appearance and replied:

"Didn't you think this relationship was good before? How could you suddenly feel this way? ”

"Actually, I've always felt that we're all students now, and we like most of them emotionally, and we can't talk about love. I've only known him for a long time, and he said that he loves me, which I think is too unreliable, and I was a little speechless. ”

Seeing Song Jiajia's words, Mu Wan'an sighed distressedly, she didn't know how to relieve this kind of girl's heart, so she could only comfort her awkwardly:

"I think it's because you're thinking too much, isn't it good that he likes you? It's not good if you're the only one who pays! ”

"You're right!"

Encouraged by her friend's words, Song Jiajia was suddenly full of vitality, and seeing that her friend seemed to have eased up, she quietly tore up all the notes, and then began to continue studying.

Song Jiajia's relationship didn't last long, and soon after the two chatted, she said with a depressed face when she had lunch:

"I'm also a single dog now, and I just broke up with him this morning."

"Why?"

Somewhat curious, Mu Wan'an looked at her suspiciously, "Didn't you like him very much before?" ”

"I used to think that he was the flower of Kaolin, a god in the sky, but now that the god has descended to earth, I am naturally not interested."

Quite bored, poking the food in the bowl with her chopsticks, Song Jiajia raised her eyes to look at her, "By the way, good night, haven't you ever thought about falling in love?" How many people in our class are talking, and besides, you are good-looking and have good grades, I don't know how many people like you. ”

"I don't have those thoughts for a while."

Thinking of her own situation, Mu Wan'an couldn't help but show a trace of helplessness, the environment forced her to grow, she thought of the caring people who were kind enough to provide her with education, and her expression couldn't help but become more and more determined:

"It's not that you don't know my situation, I'm different from you, and I can't live up to the help of others."

"Also, when you get admitted to college, you will meet better people!"

Song Jiajia's face was full of encouragement, she reached out and high-fived Mu Wan, after cheering up, she remembered what she said about going to college, and couldn't help sighing:

"Alas, I don't know what kind of people I will be with in the future...... But no matter what the future holds, I must find someone I like. Otherwise, what's the point of life? ”

……

From the past to the present, the girl she once thought would never compromise on life finally lost to life.

Mu Wanye walked past the desks, followed the memory to find her own, and sat down slowly, she looked at the dark green clipboard that had not been replaced by a dust-free blackboard, and her face was indistinguishable in the gradually darkening room.

She sat there until another figure appeared at the door, and she came back to her senses:

"It's you."

The two of them haven't seen each other for a long time, former high school classmates, sincere couples, and couples who share hardships, but they can't say anything else after they meet.

The feeling in her heart was complicated, Mu Wan'an didn't know how he knew he was here, but he didn't want to delve into more, she sat in her seat and didn't get up, just looked at the familiar blackboard:

"Actually, I knew you when I was in high school."

A Ji Chen, a Xu Shuo, is a man of the year in middle school, Ji Chen is still a little far away from her life, and Xu Shuo is a classmate, no matter how much she doesn't listen to things outside the window, she can't only read sage books.

"I thought you didn't have an impression of me at all."

The hand on the blanket was a little stiff, Xu Shuo looked at her, her figure looked so unreal in the dim sunset, "At that time, except for Song Jiajia, you rarely talked to others, I remember that you always bowed your head to read and do questions...... Everyone else hated the politics teacher because she had the top 10 people on stage to endorse her, but that was the time I was most looking forward to. You stand on the stage and face us in a straight voice, as if you were looking at me and talking. ”

"I thank you."

Looking back at him with some surprise, but the surprise was only a matter of a moment, she didn't know how to face this love since she was young, but now she can finally deal with it calmly:

"Thank you so much, I used to think that no one paid attention to me and no one liked me, but now I finally know that I also have someone who likes me."

"Why do you think that?"

couldn't help but show a wry smile, Xu Shuo's eyes stared at her tightly, and he finally understood something in his heart:

He lost her.

Irretrievable.