He just stayed on my face like this, there was obviously pity in his eyes, and there were still those things I was familiar with in his eyes, but when his mouth was opened and closed, it was so clear, sharp, and could sting me, so he said without emotion: "Zhou Mo, you let it go, we are no longer suitable for more than the touch on the body." ”

As if I had been stung by an insect in the wilderness in the spring, I took my hand back in a hurry and embarrassment, and then watched him slowly leave me with a blurred vision of the heartache of the heavens and the earth cracking.

He quickly took a quilt from the bedroom into another room, and he was busy, all like he had been so attentive to me before, but he was close enough to reach me, and far away from me.

A fear surged through me that was stronger than the fear I had faced a few hours earlier, and I felt like I was about to lose him completely.

So I went crazy, struggled to get up, stumbled and staggered all the way in the direction where Lin Zhicheng was.

When I went to the door of the guest room and saw him making my bed there seriously, the overwhelming impulse dominated me, making me stagger a few steps forward, and so stubbornly and scoundrel hugged Lin Zhicheng behind his back.

After his body stiffened a little, he quickly tried to break my hand off, but I stubbornly tightened it.

I couldn't see Lin Zhicheng's expression, but I knew that he must have frowned, and he said for a while before he said, "Zhou Mo, don't mess around." ”

Alcohol is such a good thing, it kills the reserve in my bones, it makes me simple and straightforward, my hands are still imprisoned in him, I say, "I'm not fooling around, I still want to be with you." ”

Lin Zhicheng's body shook a little, and we were silent in such a strange hugging posture, and finally it was Lin Zhicheng who broke the silence, and there was a little emotion in his voice that I couldn't tell, he said, "Do you still want to be with me?" So why did you get divorced in the first place? Why are you so determined to leave me at once? Why do you say that you are too tired, why do you not have the courage to go down with me? ”

His voice got lower and lower as he went to the back, like a strong air pressure pressing down on me, I pushed it all away in the heaviness, and my tears immediately rushed down, I said: "Lin Zhicheng, I regret it, I want to regret it." ”

Lin Zhicheng's body stiffened again, and he asked in a trembling voice, "Do you regret it now?" Because I moved across the street from your house to live with you for two years? Because I'm afraid you're in danger and follow behind your team? Because I appeared like a god in danger and delivered you? Or is it because you don't feel like you've met anyone better than me? ”

I was stunned, even if I was confused, I knew to tighten my hands and hold him, I leaned my face on his back, he couldn't see my expression, which gave me a lot of pretentious courage, I quickly said: "I regret it a lot, from the time you said that you were looking for someone to propose a divorce settlement, from the time when you took away your clothes from the house, from the time when you took away all the mint from the balcony, from the time when I opened my eyes and found that I had lost you, I regretted it all the time, I thought I had been redeemed, But I found that leaving you was hell for me. ”

Lin Zhicheng suddenly broke my hand.

Or he was still merciful, and he might have been afraid that I would fall to the ground, and when he broke my hand, he half-supported and half-tugged and laid me on the bed.

Tears blurred my eyes, and I couldn't see his expression, but his tone suddenly hardened, and he said slowly: "But for two years, you have had many times of regret, but why have you ever looked back at me?" ”

I lowered my head, my hands twisted into a ball, and I seemed to be trying to twist them into a net, to catch the person I loved so much in front of me, but it was actually a ridiculous fantasy.

And I was like an ostrich, I buried my head lower, my voice weakened, and I whispered: "I have been to Hongde many times, and I thought I would meet each other under the pretext of laughing, but I didn't see it every time." I think it may be fate is gone, and I'm more afraid that I'll become a disturbance, so I'll never dare to be blatant. ”

Lin Zhicheng may have been stunned.

He hadn't spoken for a long time.

I wanted to look at him a few more times, so I looked up at him.

In the entanglement of my eyes, my rampage once again dominated me, and I stood up with a thud, and reached over to hold his face, my lips like those of the fish in the aquarium that like to hit the transparent baffle, and I pressed it against his lips like that.

However, without the hot and gentle past, all I touched was cold, he struggled to break free, and his voice was vague: "Zhou Mo, don't be like this. ”

I tasted the bitter dark beer on his lips, mixed with the coldness, and my voice was also muffled, and I said, "Lin Zhicheng, please make me regret it." ”

But Lin Zhicheng's next words made me shudder even in this warm and even hot summer, his eyes widened in this kiss that I was forced to kiss, he stared at me and said, "Zhou Mo, I have a new life." ”

My feverish brain felt like a bucket of ice had been poured head-on at once, and the biting cold spread from beginning to end, and I let go of him in a hurry and looked at him in disbelief.

Lin Zhicheng seemed to spread his hands indifferently, he straightened his collar that was torn by me, and after doing all this, he continued slowly: "I hope you bless me." ”

I stared at him, trying to find a clue in his face, but to no avail, I tried to steady my voice, but when I asked, I trembled and intermittently, and I tentatively asked, with a lot of despair, "Are you married?" Are you remarried? “

Lin Zhicheng did not answer.

At this point, silence seems to me to be tantamount to acquiescence.

After a minute of staring at him, I finally lost the battle, and I put my hands on my shoulders and tried to take back those cheap tears in a gesture of self-preservation, but after a few seconds, I couldn't help but cry.

Lin Zhicheng suddenly reached over and touched me and said, "Don't cry, okay?" “

I threw his hand away and said, "Don't touch me." ”

Lin Zhicheng opened his mouth, he hesitated, sat down next to me, and was silent again.

I knew in my heart that I shouldn't blame him, time was barren, and it was his freedom to choose what kind of life he chose, and I didn't have the qualifications to ask again, but it hurt and hurt, and it spread from the inside to the outside of the heart into a vast patch, these chaotic emotions dominated my reason, and they made me ask unconsciously after being silent for a while: "Lin Zhicheng, since you have a new life, why do you still live opposite my house, why do you still follow me up the mountain, why do you let me go first when I am in danger, Tell me why? ”

Moving towards a position a little farther away from me, Lin Zhicheng seemed to have sorted out his thoughts before he said: "I'm actually about to move away, and I'm booking a moving company the day after tomorrow." As for what happened on the mountain, in my life plan, it was also the last time I would follow you. If it weren't for the heavy rainstorm, I would have followed you all the way to the shoreline, and I would have accompanied you from afar to see the last sunrise over the sea, and then disappeared without a trace. I'm 32 years old this year, and although an old man of my age has a glamorous career, although he looks like a dog, and although he is warmly embraced by people wherever he goes to eat, I don't have a sense of accomplishment at all. No one knows how dreamy and abnormal my past two years have been, and it's too tiring to follow in someone's footsteps. I've had enough of these days, I need stability, I need stability, the true meaning of life is not to be better experienced in firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea? And when I'm at this age, what qualifications do I have to dream? I can only wake up, I can only follow the script that the world can agree with, so that my grandmother, who is nearly eighty years old, will not break her heart for me when I am young, and when I am older, she will be anxious and insomnia for my later life. I've been selfish countless times, but I'm sick of being so selfish now, so I'm going to land, I'm going to make a compromise with my life, so I have to go. ”

His voice reverberated throughout the space, and then reverberated through countless reverberations again and again into my eardrums, clear and cruel, but it was too hard for me to criticize.

I understood what he was saying, he wasn't married, but he had someone else.

Still clasping my shoulders, I tried to squeeze a forced smile out of my face, and like all women who are not exempt from vulgarity, I asked softly, "Is she okay?" ”

Lin Zhicheng stretched out his hand to smooth a fold on the sheet, and said for a long time: "I don't want to mention her, you will be sad to hear it." ”

I don't want to mention her, you'll be sad to hear it.

But Lin Zhicheng, you won't know, this sentence hurts me ten million times more than if you don't love me anymore.

Just like a good heart, someone poured gasoline on it and set it on fire, and those spreading fires quickly engulfed me, drowning me, and my heart was completely burned to ashes in such an instant.

Look at how much I can deceive myself, look at how much I deceive myself, I think I have walked so many mountains and rivers and so many ravines and ravines in the past two years, I think I have crossed myself.

But I'm actually very pathetic.

I'm still drowning in the cover-up, I'm still moving backwards, I'm still in the ruins of time to give all my deep love to the same person, my heart has not opened up my horizons and let new people settle in, I still let you, who have become a guest in my life, Lin Zhicheng, has always lived in my heart.

Look how pathetic I am.