It was already deep in the night, and I looked at the ceiling, remembering the decision I had just made, and my hand, unconsciously resting on my chest, only felt a little dull pain. I tried to sit up and gently run my hand down my chest to relieve the pain I had just had, but it didn't seem to work. So I simply gave up sleeping.

I picked up my phone and walked to the window and looked at the endless darkness. Obviously there was no difference from the past, but I felt that the night tonight was extraordinarily thick, and the dense black swallowed the light of the stars and moon, and even erased the traces of their existence, like a thick cloth tightly over the entire city, so oppressive that I was a little suffocated. The sky tonight is a bottomless pit that devours the soul of man.

The pain in my heart reminded me that it wasn't a dream, it was a real breakup.

I took out my phone and looked at it quietly, quietly, as if what I sent him today was not a simple breakup text message, but all the joys, sorrows and sorrows of my life. Because now I feel that my body is empty, and my mind is also empty, as if my whole vitality is gradually weakening.

At this time, I remembered that whenever I ate with my grandmother, I couldn't help but glance at the extra set of dishes and chopsticks, which I heard were prepared for my grandfather, who had not been home for more than 60 years. Thinking of my lonely grandmother's insistence on love, I firmly believe that my decision to break up was not wrong.

After waiting for a day, I finally gave up after not receiving a reply.

I lowered my eyes, heh, didn't you even bother to give me a reply? Take a deep breath, suppress the discomfort in your heart, and rest.

The white flowers have a fidium, and the flowers are shaken down. My first love was like the last fallen leaf swept away by the autumn wind, quietly ending.

I packed my bags and set out on the journey home.

Home is on the other side of the mountain, familiar and distant. If love is like this mountain, then I think his love is born from looking down, and there are more and more women to see, while my love is born from looking up, and there are fewer and fewer men I can see, and in the end he is the only one left in his eyes. After breaking up with the only man in my eyes, what I lost was my whole world. Autumn is deep, and I walk casually on the road, looking at the fallen leaves flying in the sky. Holding a leaf that had just fallen from a tree, he asked, "Do you know what love is?"

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

When I had dinner with my grandmother in the evening, maybe I fell out of love today, and I unconsciously set my eyes on the extra pair of dishes and chopsticks that my grandmother put away. I finally couldn't help but ask, "Grandma, do you still love grandpa?" ”

Probably didn't expect me to ask that, but Grandma was a little surprised, and then said, "Yes." ”

"How much love?"

My grandmother thought for a moment, then told me, "I can't measure this love in real terms." ”

A wife who has not been accompanied by her husband for decades, even if she has no relatives or friends, even if she is full of gray hair, she will survive the turbulent era alone with her children without regrets, and will never remarry. It is difficult for me to understand how my grandmother loved her missing husband with all her heart and waited for her husband's return, day after day, year after year, under such difficult conditions.

Grandma stood up and hobbled back to the room. After a while, she came out of the room, still holding a photograph in her hand.

I watched quietly, and she sat in a chair with trembling hands and red eyes, looked at the picture and said:

"I've missed him all my life, I've loved him all my life, and I've wasted my whole youth waiting. But I have no regrets, and I am even full of gratitude, even in the days when I miss you every day, just because I miss his old voice and appearance, I have a lot of fun. ”