Xin Di attended the wedding and returned to the city to continue working, and when he received a call from Lu Fei that day, his voice was anxious.

"Xiaodi, do you have any news from Xiaochen? I've been out of her phone for almost a week, and the weather forecast says there will be a blizzard in the area from Lugu Lake to Aden. ”

Xin Di was surprised, "Don't you know? Tatsuko didn't go on that hike, she returned to Kunming last Monday and went to Beijing on Tuesday. Yan Xuhui's guy set up a photography studio and invited her to work, and she accepted. By the way, she changed her mobile phone number, and I'll report it to you. ”

Lu Fei wrote down the number and was silent for a long time.

He texted Xin Chen at Lijiang Airport: "No matter what, please believe that I love you." ”

Xin Chen's reply was: "Thank you, but I'm afraid I don't have the ability to love someone as you asked, I'm sorry." ”

The reply left him speechless, and it was the last text they ever made. He called Xin Chen's mobile phone again, but he couldn't get through, and he didn't receive a reply to his text messages.

He anxiously collected the weather in the area, and his phone was on 24 hours a day, fearing that he would miss a single message, but she never heard from her. He knew that she would definitely try her best to keep in touch with her family, so he called Xin Di, but he didn't expect to hear such unexpected news.

He leaned back in his chair and looked at the LCD screen of his computer, thinking: she really didn't drag the mud and water, and decided to cut off the connection between them. His persistence, perhaps really a part of his obsession, brought her just unwelcome trouble.

He still dialed the number, and Xin Chen quickly answered: "Hello." ”

"Xiaochen, have you found a house to live in Beijing?"

"Yan Xuhui provides staff dormitories, which can be shared with colleagues, with convenient transportation and an environment."

"That's good, the weather in Beijing is changeable in autumn, you pay attention to your body."

"Okay, thanks."

Lu Fei's tone was still calm, without any questioning or anger, but such a polite conversation clearly revealed the distance, Xin Chen put down his phone and thought, isn't this what you want?

She was pushing a shopping cart and shopping for necessities at a supermarket where it was bustling with people on weekends. A week ago, she was still quiet and silent, and the noise in front of her made her feel a little weird.

That day, Xin Chen was basking in the sun at the Rig Inn and surfing the Internet, and it was easy to open the mailbox, and he received an email from Yan Xuhui half a month ago, to the effect that he had set up a studio, was recruiting, and wanted to invite her to work in Beijing, but he couldn't get through her mobile phone, and hoped that she would reply to the email as soon as possible.

As soon as her heart moved, she immediately called Yan Xuhui, "Is that position still vacant?" ”

Yan Xuhui laughed, "If you call a little later, I'll give it to someone else, come over immediately." ”

Xin Chen originally planned to hike along Lugu Lake in the next few days to see if there was a possibility of climbing Lion Rock, but she immediately decided, "No, I have already paid for today's room and finally enjoy a day of freedom." I will go back to Kunming tomorrow and Beijing the day after tomorrow, so it is decided. ”

After checking out the next day, she texted the team leader, Lao Zhang, telling him that she would not participate in the next part of the trip, and at the same time reminded them to pay attention to the weather conditions, and then returned to Kunming, said goodbye to her father and stepmother, repacked her luggage, and came to Beijing.

She carried a large bag of things from the supermarket back to a two-bedroom apartment house in the North Third Ring Road, where Yan Xuhui used to live.

Yan Xuhui's family is good, after resigning from the north, only a short period of downfall, his mother came to visit him, saw that he shared a dark basement with others, and suddenly mother's love and tears flooded at the same time, and insisted on buying him this house. Xin Chen came to Beijing three years to look for a job, and lived here for a few days.

Most of Yan Xuhui's friends have regarded art as an ideal or career direction, struggling to survive in this big city where there are as many opportunities as there are disappointments. In contrast, Yan Xuhui did not suffer much from the beginning, and his development in the fashion photography circle was also very smooth. He never minded when his friends made jokes about him, half envious and half sarcastic.

He went to the airport to pick up Xin Chen and brought her here directly. When she asked about the rent, he only smiled, "Employee welfare, you don't need to pay the rent, but I have a colleague, a pony who does photography, lives with you, don't mind, right?" ”

Xin Chen certainly doesn't mind, she knows the expense and hassle of renting an apartment in Beijing.

Yan Xuhui explained to her the details of life such as riding in a car, he now has plenty of money and bought a new BMW, but he actually has no experience in the life of ordinary salarymen. But any man has a careful and subtle desire to care for the girl he once liked, even if he already has a girlfriend.

Xin Chen officially settled in the city that she left in a hurry three years ago, and the first thing she did was to change her mobile phone number, and when she removed the old mobile phone card, she hesitated and threw it into the trash.

She didn't mean to avoid Lu Fei, nor did she want to play the poignant and mentally retarded game of "disappearing in the vast sea of people", she just thought that it would be good to disconnect like this.

The autumn in Beijing is said to be "a burst of autumn rain and a burst of coolness", which comes really and thickly, the leaves quickly turn yellow, and the wind brings coolness, compared to the four seasons of Kunming and the hometown is still full of verdant in November, the autumn is indifferent to the sky and the clouds are light, it is a completely different feeling.

The pony who lives with Xin Chen is a skinny Guizhou boy, a little neurotic, but also outgoing and active. He came to Beijing two years earlier, and under his guidance, Xin Chen quickly adapted to the city, commuting by subway and using the southeast and northwest to identify the direction of the road. In his free time, he goes out singing with his colleagues and occasionally goes on short hikes on weekends.

I met Lin Yueqing on the Internet, and when she talked about her current life, she used the evaluation of "very satisfied", Lin Yueqing smiled and said that maybe he would use Beijing as the first choice for work after graduation.

Yan Xuhui invested heavily in expensive digital backs, flashes and a series of professional equipment, and at the beginning of the studio's establishment, the staff structure was relatively simple, but photographers, videographers, photography assistants, professional makeup artists, makeup assistants, and planning copywriters were all available. Xin Chen and another colleague are responsible for graphic design, retouching and post-production, Yan Xuhui himself is the natural art director, and his girlfriend Shun Shun is in charge of finance, administration and outreach.

Shunshun is a graphic model from Beipiao, speaking a pure and fluent Beijing dialect that can't hear any accent, after dating Yan Xuhui, he gave up his unpopular modeling career and concentrated on being his agent, very shrewd and capable. At first, she saw Xin Chen with a faint sense of precaution, but Xin Chen's work is a purely technical job, she is serious and focused, and she is frank in dealing with people, her performance made Shun Shun quickly relieved, and after concluding that she could not threaten herself, she immediately treated her affectionate and easy-going.

In November, Beijing entered a cold winter, and there was no snow, but the weather was dry and cold. Xin Di came to participate in the launch of China Fashion Week, and David Fan naturally followed.

Xin Chen took a leave of absence to see Xin Di's special press conference.

A designer has been showing at fashion fairs and fashion weeks within a year, and this kind of investment and craftsmanship is naturally eye-catching in the industry. This press conference, different from the last brand release in March, played the name of Suomei's design director, and was more of a display of Xin Di's personal works, giving up the last decent professional wear style, including a lot of evening wear and creative wear elements, and the theme is a simple two words: flowers.

The arrangement of the whole conference did not highlight the specific flowers, but the clothes carried an innocent and unrestrained youthful atmosphere, the design imagination was uninhibited and beautiful, and the personal style was strong.

Accompanied by rock music, one by one models walked through the catwalk, dizzying, making people feel that the best years of life seem to be dressed in brocade clothes and clothes, no barren pain, no lost doubts, eyes full of light fur slow belt, placket wind, happy and frivolous, high-spirited, really have the feeling of flowers, when the final Xin Di came out of the curtain call, the audience stood up and applauded for a long time.

In the evening, Yan Xuhui invited them to sing, and a large number of people were so lively in the big private room. Xin Di and Xin Chen sat in the corner drinking and chatting, Xin Di looked tired, Xin Chen asked her: "So calm, it makes me worry, you are so excited, today is really worth being excited." ”

Xin Di sighed, "In order to do this press conference, I communicated with Lao Zeng countless times, and finally he approved my idea and agreed that the designer's personal style and brand strategy can also be integrated and complementary." The process was too laborious, and now I don't feel much about it. It can only be said that the most proud work in the past few years finally has a chance to see the light of day. ”

"You can really see where people's time is spent, and you can see that your efforts are not in vain when you look at your press conference." After a pause, Xin Chen whispered, "I'm proud of you, Dizi." ”

In Xin Di's memory, this was the first time Xin Chen praised her talent in such a direct way, she only felt that her eyes were hot, and she held her cousin's hand tightly, both of them were not suitable for the sudden exposure of feelings, they didn't look at each other, they all looked at the TV screen, and after a while, Xin Di asked: "Chenzi, are you adapting here?" ”

"Fortunately, the heating will not be provided until the 15th, and it has been cold for the past few days."

"Did Lu Fei come to see you?"

"We're just talking on the phone once in a while, and he's okay to come and see what I'm doing?" Xin Chen's telephone contact with Lu Fei has now become sparse and polite, usually talking once every ten days and a half, a brief greeting and then saying goodbye.

Xin Di couldn't help but be surprised, that day she attended Ye Zhiqiu's wedding, took a late flight back, and met Lu Fei at the airport, she asked him where he went on a business trip back, but he replied calmly: "I went to Lugu Lake to see Xiaochen." She knew how busy Lu Feixin's work was, so she would squeeze out time to take a six-hour car ride after getting off the plane to visit Xin Chen in an inaccessible place. She knew that it was useless to ask Xin Chen, so she could only sigh.

Yan Xuhui brought the fruit plate to them, "Xin Di, it's a waste of talent for you to stay in a mainland city, if you go to Beijing or coastal cities to develop, you should have made a show at Fashion Week two years earlier." ”

"Here it is again, is it good for you to change something fresh, speaking of Dai Weifan, if he had come to Beijing back then, he would have become a famous model; Speaking of my family, Chenzi is that if he stayed in Beijing back then, the value of the retouched picture would have been the same as that person, and Beijing is your lucky place, so you don't have to do this. Hey, you are not allowed to exploit and squeeze Tatsuko, do you hear? ”

"How can I have it, Xiaochen himself can testify, I care about her. But she is too introverted and quiet now, and she will introduce a handsome guy to her, and she will ignore it. ”

Xin Chen glanced at him, "Pull it down, look at his appearance, he looks like a copy of David Weifan who is 10 years younger, I want to walk with him, and some people will say that I coveted my sister's boyfriend in an attempt, so I pinned my affection on him, and I can't stand it." ”

Yan Xuhui hehe Zhile, "Don't say it, he really looks like Lao Dai, when will I call over and let you all see it, and promise to scare Lao Dai." ”

Xin Di just laughed, but suddenly realized something, and when Yan Xuhui walked away, she grabbed Xin Chen, "Did you hear what my mother said?" ”

"Nothing, don't think about it. It's time for the song I ordered, and the microphone was given to me. ”

Xin Chen stood up and sang, Xin Di was a little depressed, walked out of the private room, sat on the sofa in the hall outside, recalled what her mother had said, and then thought of Xin Chen's sudden departure, she couldn't help but feel uncomfortable. She has always felt sorry for her cousin, seeing that she is not living as freely as before, but she chooses to bury everything in her heart and digest it alone, and even so careful that she avoids dating a man who looks similar to David Weifan, she can't help but feel gloomy.

"What are you thinking, why do you suddenly seem unhappy?" David Vavian walked out and sat down beside her.

"I'm thinking, my feelings have always been too simple, and I can't stand it when I see other people's plots a little complicated."

David Fan laughed, "Have you gone mad?" I've always believed that simple and clear feelings lead to happiness. ”

Xin Di was taken aback, and looked straight at Dai Weifan, who was furious by her, "Hey, I'm not flaunting myself." That's right, I've made a lot of girl friends before, but I've never tried to split legs, I haven't stepped on a few boats, and if I feel that I can't continue, I must make it clear to someone not to play ambiguous. I really think that if you complicate your life, it will be chaotic and boring. ”

Xin Di smiled and leaned into his arms, "That's right, it's rare for you to say something that I admire." ”

Xin Di's release at Fashion Week was well received, and the album produced by Yan Xuhui and Dai Weifan was also praised by industry insiders. For a while, Yan Xuhui's studio had a booming business, and Xin Chen was also very busy.

On this day, Yan Xuhui called her to the office and introduced her to a slender girl in a beige suit sitting in the office, "Xin Chen, the graphic design of our studio." Then he said to Xin Chen, "This Miss Ji Ruoli is the representative of the curator of the art exhibition promotion we received, and she has some specific requirements for the design and processing of the poster, so let her tell you directly." ”

Ji Ruoli looked at Xin Chen in surprise, but Xin Chen had already had the ability to see no one silently, she sat down and took out a notepad, "Hello Miss Ji, please list your requirements, I will come up with a plan that is as close as possible when designing posters and retouching." ”

Ji Ruoli regained her composure and began to talk about her request, she spoke clearly and clearly, Xin Chen wrote it down, and then briefly checked with her to see if there were any omissions.

Ji Ruoli added: "The sponsor of this art exhibition is Haotian Group, I flew to Shenzhen yesterday, and the vice president of the group, Ms. Lu Shi, had dinner and communicated, she agreed with my idea, and did not make special exaggeration in publicity, and acted as low-key as possible." ”

Yan Xuhui nodded in agreement, "This is rare, now that businesses sponsor art exhibitions, they can't wait to take the lead, and put their LOGO printed in front of them, and they have to be mentioned in every publicity, the purpose and utilitarianism are too strong." ”

"Ms. Lu has a high artistic appreciation, and we have a good personal relationship, and we have the same philosophy in this regard. ”

Xin Chen didn't interject, and listened quietly until they finished speaking, and then he got up, "Miss Ji, after coming up with a preliminary plan, I will contact you as soon as possible and hand it over to you." I'll go out and do things first, goodbye. ”

Next, Xin Chen and Ji Ruoli met more times than ordinary customers, Ji Ruoli often came over, behaved meticulously and strictly, required perfection, and paid great attention to details, and Xin Chen's patience was so good that she could not disagree, she attached importance to every request, but it was not unprincipled pandering, and she would express her own views when discussing with her, and insist on certain handling techniques from a professional point of view.

Xin Chen's always calm tone made Ji Ruoli unconsciously reflect on whether there was anything inferior to her demeanor, and such a vague comparison made her a little discouraged.

Finally the poster and brochure were finalized, it was already past the end of work, Xin Chen packed up the things on the table, Ji Ruoli said: "I should have sent you, Miss Xin, but I made an appointment with Lu Fei for dinner today, so I will go first." ”

Xin Chen's hand paused slightly on the desk, she thought, finally this seemingly impeccable disguise still has gaps, but the next moment, Xin Chen raised his head and smiled at her, and the shallow dimple on her left cheek that had already been engraved into her memory appeared, "Miss Ji, don't delay your time, I wish you a pleasant evening." ”

Ji Ruoli sat in her bronze BMW Mini Cooper, holding the steering wheel with both hands, looking ahead, the lights of the underground garage were dim, but what appeared in front of her eyes was Xin Chen's smile, which clearly implied that she understood and didn't care about what she said.

Probably only with complete confidence in a man would bring such an unconscious condescending posture, she thought fiercely, with self-pity and anger.

How could she possibly have a pleasant evening?

The appointment with Lu Fei was half a month ago, when she accidentally met Xin Chen in Yan Xuhui's studio, and after returning home, she called Lu is phone first and asked directly: "Sister, isn't Lu Fei with her?" Why did Lu Fei go back for her, but she came to Beijing to work? ”

Lu is euphemism said: "Ruo Li, I don't know the specific reason, and I don't plan to ask Lu Fei, he has his life, like a sister, and it is impossible to care too much." ”

She had always been sensitive, and of course she understood the hints, and her face suddenly became hot, and she knew that she was so familiar that she had overpassed. That's right, she and Lu Fei's family have gotten along very well since they met, Lu Fei's parents and sisters treat her very kindly, and Lu Fei has always talked to her, even if she broke up with Lu Fei, the two are in contact, and the work cooperation is also very smooth.

However, her identity is an ex-girlfriend after all, and if she asks again, she still has delusions in her heart that she doesn't dare to face. At the thought of this, she broke out in a cold sweat.

She finally made up her mind and packed up her apartment. Lu Fei had stayed with her for a limited number of nights, leaving not many things behind, two shirts, two ties, two sets of underwear, a pair of pajamas, a razor, and a few English financial magazines, which could be thrown away.

She knelt on the carpet in the bedroom for a long time, but called Lu Fei's mobile phone and asked when it would be convenient to hand it over to him: "I also want to go to your place to get my things back." ”

Lu Fei was obviously surprised by this call, "Ruo Li, you have the key from my side, you can go and get it directly, and just leave the key when you're done." ”

Ji Ruoli smiled sarcastically, "It's really organized, so you don't plan to meet me again in the future?" Could it be that your new love, oh yes, is an old love, and is so strict with you? ”

Lu Fei only said, "Ruoqi, I hope we are still friends." Well, I may go on a business trip to Beijing in a while, and I'll contact you when I come. ”

So there was this date tonight.

In the restaurant they both liked before, eating an unusually dull dinner, Lu Fei asked about her work, she hesitated, took out an invitation card from her bag and handed it to him, "Recently, I have been preparing for this art exhibition, and our company will hold a reception on Christmas Eve, to see if your time is convenient, you can go to participate in it when you have time." ”

Lu Fei took it, "The day after tomorrow is Christmas Eve, I'm afraid I'll have to go back that day." He paused suddenly, his gaze resting on the inconspicuous small print on the invitation: Xuhui Photography Studio promotes the whole process.

"This should be the last time I test you." Ji Ruoli smiled bitterly, "So, you know that she is in Beijing, and you also know where she works, right?" ”

"Of course, I know that I keep in touch with her, although not very often."

"Can you satisfy my damn curiosity, what are you doing now?"

Lu Fei looked at her and smiled slightly, "She wasn't sure if she wanted to be with me or not, so I decided not to disturb her and wait for her to figure it out." ”

"Is there a deadline for this wait?"

Lu Fei beckoned to the waiter, ordered the checkout, and then simply said, "At present, no." ”

These two words smashed heavily into Ji Ruoli's heart.

The two of them left the restaurant, and she drove him back to his apartment and went straight in to pack his things. The pajamas, underwear, coats, and sweaters in the bedroom, I took a suitcase and stuffed it in, and then went to the bathroom in the master bedroom, looking at the dazzling array of skin care and skin care products, thinking about the number of items that Lu Fei left on her side, she was irritable, she didn't know that there were not many overnight stays, and so many things would be put in.

Probably I still want to be involved in his life too much, every time I come over, I will buy a bunch of useless things, Lu Fei once said with a little amusement that she probably has a fetish, and she didn't explain. In fact, her favorite thing to buy is all kinds of ingredients, piling up the refrigerator to the full, and at the same time buying back the recipes with great interest, and cooking while researching, she never gets tired of it, and now when she thinks about it, she feels desolate.

She picked up the cosmetics on the shelves and threw them into the trash can, making a ping-pong sound, Lu Fei walked in when she heard the sound, she could only laugh self-deprecatingly, "I'm really unnecessary to come here, I'm too lazy to ask for it, you asked the hourly workers to throw it all away." ”

She went to the study to get a few of her own books, and her eyes touched the photo of her and Lu Fei on the desk, which was taken on the beach in Beidaihe, she developed two and framed them respectively, one in her own residence, and one here, and said with a smile at the time: "Let you always face me." She walked over, picked it up and put it down, and couldn't help but think with a little malice, not to mention the photos, from the layout to the furnishings of this house, there is nothing without her thoughts and imprints. Whatever he disposed of, she sneered at the thought of it.

She took out the key and handed it to Lu Fei, "Okay, we're completely broken, you can rest assured that you can live here in the future." ”

Lu Fei took the key and put it on the coffee table, "I thought that I would be on a business trip to Beijing in the future, so I could stay in a hotel, and I would return the key to my sister." ”

She thought discouragedly, it turned out that leaving this trace was also delusional, the man in front of her had decided to say goodbye to that period of life completely, and there was a sour feeling in her eyes, she could only try to hold on, "Very good, we probably won't be in touch next, right?!" ”

"Ruoqi, we said it, and we won't say sorry or forgive anything like that." Lu Fei remained calm, "But I do feel sorry for you, and maybe the last thing I can do for you is to disappear from your life completely." ”

Ji Ruoli was silent, and only said after a while: "That's not necessary, Lu Fei." Probably only after the breakup does not care about the other party at all, it is possible to be friends, give me time, and one day I will let go. ”

On Christmas Eve, Yan Xuhui asked several staff members to go to the reception of the art exhibition, and the day before he specially instructed them to pay attention to dress etiquette, "Wear grotesque, trendy, street, and sexy points, you can choose as you like, just don't wear the usual clothes for work, people will doubt your professional ability." ”

"If there is a purchase fee, I dare to wear Chanel." Xiaoyun, the young girl who was doing the project, muttered, of course, just talking in private.

The weather is cold, everyone is dressed formally, Xin Chen is wearing a small dress skirt, the dark green silk fabric is gorgeous and with a gloomy low-key, which is very flattering to her skin that has become fair again, the cut is fluent and concise, the square neckline, revealing the delicate collarbone, as soon as she took off the coat outside, Shunshun was suddenly amazed, and asked what brand and where to buy it.

"My cousin's design is the only one."

Shun Shun called enviously: "The next time I see Xin Di, I will definitely ask her to help me design one." ”

The reception chartered a bar in the 798 Art District, and as soon as I walked in, I saw the shadows of the clothes and temples, and the eyes were full of richly dressed men and women, among whom there were many familiar faces. Xiaoyun next to him excitedly pulled Xinchen to look at a certain star, Yan Xuhui said angrily: "Every time you come to the studio with a model with a flat head and a face, you will be excited, I really shouldn't have brought you here." ”

"Boss, the more this is the case, the more you should take me out to see the big scene, one day, I will cultivate to the point where Xin Chen is not alarmed."

Before the words fell, Xin Chen glanced ahead, "Hey, Johnny Depp." ”

Xiaoyun almost jumped up, "Where, where?" ”

She saw clearly that there was a chubby, half-bald foreign man standing in the direction of Xin Chen's signal, and several colleagues around her were already laughing so hard that she couldn't straighten her waist, so she knew that she was fooled, angry and funny. Xin Chen couldn't help but smile and patted her comfortingly, "If you come back twice like this, you will also be calm, which is much more effective than going out with the boss." ”

Xin Chen absentmindedly drank a cocktail, this kind of activity people move around freely, greet and talk with friends, naturally divided into large and small circles, she chose to stand with Xiaoyun, free from the excitement, but also comfortable. Xiao Yun looked around with wide eyes, and told her from time to time who had come in, and who was talking to whom, she only smiled and listened, in an unfamiliar environment, it was a reassuring thing to have an acquaintance by her side.

Speaking on behalf of the organizers, it was Ji Ruoli who wore a black evening dress by MiuMiu, with her hair curled behind her head, looking elegant and moving. She briefly introduced the famous artists and curatorial ideas covered in the art exhibition, and thanked the guests present. This was followed by a lively performance, with popular singers singing songs on stage, and occasional lucky draws, where guests came in with invitations to receive number plates, and prizes ranging from limited edition keychains, crystal ornaments, designer perfumes, to autographed photos, signed CDs, hugs or kisses from the celebrities.

Finally, this kind of glamorous prizes can naturally enliven the atmosphere, this round of lottery numbers was reported, Xin Chen looked at it, it was actually his own, the DJ on the stage announced, the prize depends on the requirements of the winner, it can be the kiss of any star, "regardless of gender", he dragged out his voice and added these four words, causing the audience to scream. Xin Chen casually handed the number plate to Xiaoyun, "I've sent it to you, see who you want to eat tofu, on." ”

Xiaoyun was so excited that she hugged her quickly, and rushed to the stage, Xin Chen looked at it with a smile, this girl of her age was so happy that she was envious. A hand reached over and took the glass she had drunk in her hand, and handed over another glass of wine. She looked back in surprise, Lu Fei in a dark gray suit appeared in front of her, and she smiled slightly, "Thank you." ”

The two stood side by side, neither asking or explaining why they were here, as if such encounters were daily and commonplace. On the small stage, Xiaoyun is interacting with the DJ enthusiastically, surrounded by laughter, whistles, stomping and cheering, everyone has a smile on their faces, and the atmosphere is so light that it makes people feel a little dizzy.

"It's snowing lightly outside." Lu Fei whispered.

Although coming from a city where there is only occasional light snow in winter and it melts immediately, after seeing Tibet and the Meili Snow Mountains, Xin Chen has no new sense of snow. At the end of last month, the first snow of winter fell in Beijing, but the snow came and went in a hurry, not pleasantly, and then it was still dry and cold, but fortunately there was plenty of heating indoors, which was better than the wet and cold winter in my hometown. She still walked to the window with Lu Fei, and sure enough, the snow outside was fluttering and falling densely, and under the illumination of the street lights, I saw the north wind wrapped in fine snowflakes swirling and flying all over the sky, and it was foggy far and near.

Xiao Yun rushed over with a blushing face, "Xin Chen, I'm so happy, I decided not to remove my makeup or wash my face tonight." She was in too much of a hurry, and before Xin Chen could turn around, she had already hit her elbow, and the wine glass in her hand was poured, and half a glass of wine suddenly spilled onto her waist.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Xiaoyun scrambled to try to remedy.

Xin Chen took the tissue handed by Lu Fei and printed it on the wet place, and shook his head with a smile, "It's okay." She looked down at the small dress skirt, the wine stains on the dark green hue were not obvious, but the wet wet was uncomfortable sticking to her body, "I'd better go first and go back and change my clothes." ”

She patted Xiaoyun and motioned her to continue playing, Lu Fei said, "I'll send you, I drove my friend's car here." ”

He took her out to get her coat and put it on her, and the cold north wind blew through the crack in the door, and she couldn't help shrinking, and the wet part of her waist was instantly cold.

"Wait here, I'll pick up the car." He walked into the snowstorm.

She knew it would be difficult to hail a taxi today, and it wasn't fun to be dressed so thinly on the side of the road in winter, so of course she was waiting where she was.

"He still can't help it." Ji Ruoli's voice came faintly from behind her, and when she turned around, she saw Ji Ruoli standing behind her, her face with delicate makeup was a little pale.

"Miss Ji, it's very windy here, beware of catching a cold." Xin Chen saw that she was only wearing a thin evening dress and reminded her.

"What does it feel like to see a proud man bend over for you?"

Xin Chen looked at her in surprise.

Ji Ruoli's eyes were unusually bright, but his voice was very soft, "I have loved him for five years, and I have always regarded his pride, calmness, and wisdom as his most valuable qualities, and I am willing to look up to him quietly." But all of a sudden, I found out that he would give up all his reserve in front of another girl, how do you think I feel? ”

"There's no need to compare these." She said perfunctorily.

Ji Ruoli snorted, "Yes, you can tell me directly, this man just loves you, everything he does is willing, I should lose so much that I have nothing to say, and I don't have the capital to ask why." ”

"This is not a war between who fights whom, Miss Ji, no one wins or loses. I have a long past with him, and it's a part I can't get rid of. You love his pride, calmness, and wisdom, well, I admit that's what makes men very attractive. But when I met him at the age of 14, he was just him, with no strings attached. I would have liked him as naturally as I did the ice cream in the summer and the sun in the winter. Xin Chen tugged at his coat and tilted his head to think, "If you want to drill the horns, do I have to ask why I loved like that, but I just left; Why do you want to say goodbye after leaving? This kind of question is destined to have no answer, and there is no need for us to pursue it and get along with ourselves. ”

Lu Fei appeared at the door, looked at the two of them, and after a moment of silence, he reached out to support Xin Chen's waist, "Let's go." Then he nodded to Ji Ruoxi, "Good night, Ruoqi, the snow is a little heavy, pay attention to safety when driving home." ”

Lu Fei opened the black Lexus car door parked in front of the bar, Xin Chen sat in, Lu Fei leaned over, sent the hem of the long coat that fell at the door for her, then closed the door, turned to the driver's seat, got in the car and started the car.

Xin Chen said: "I live in the North Third Ring Road ......"

"I know where you live." Lu Fei interrupted her, turned on the steering wheel and drove the car onto the avenue, paused for a while and continued, "Yes, I know. I also did something very boring, and I stayed downstairs at your house last night, thinking and thinking, and I don't know whether I should go up and disturb you. ”

His confession, coupled with what Ji Ruoli just said, Xin Chen could only be silent. Looking out through the car glass, I saw a vast snowstorm, and the red taillights of the car in front kept flashing.

"Occasionally when I wake up in the middle of the night, I ask myself why I chose to leave in the first place."

"Is there an answer?"

"All I know is that if I had to do it all over again, I would have made a different choice."

Xin Chen shook his head lightly, "You're also a bull, Lu Fei." If you stay and guard such a willful and insecure girl, you will probably only indulge her to be more dependent and want to desperately hold on to you, plus all kinds of practical problems, that relationship may still have no future. ”

"You accepted everything, understood everything, and looked at the past so leniently, which only made me question my choices even more. Did I really love you as I thought I did? I love your beauty, your courage, your frankness and innocence, and even your willfulness, but I only ignore your insecurity, ignore it when you need me the most, and comfort yourself, when you grow up, you can understand. What to understand? Lu Fei let out a short laugh, "Is it too selfish to understand my love?" ”

Xin Chen smiled bitterly, "I beg for mercy, don't criticize yourself, Lu Fei, I really can't stand such a heavy conversation." Now I feel more and more that personality is a kind of fate. I've never been a tolerant person, but I don't want to blame anyone else, let alone my own life. Feelings are like sand, holding them in the palm of your hand may be able to stay for a while, once you desperately grasp it, it will definitely leak out of your fingers, and no one can resist it. After you are gone, my life will be neither miserable nor depraved, so your self-reproach will mean nothing to me. If this continues, I will become an abuse of your old feelings, and you are inexplicably abused, why bother? ”

"Yes, the past is not recoverable, and the days to come are long. You're not accepting someone else right now, so give me a chance and we'll start over, okay? ”

Xin Chen turned his face sideways, his forehead against the window glass, and was silent for a long time. The wine on her clothes had been steamed by the heat in the car, and it had dried thoroughly, and the smell of wine lingered in the closed car with the smell of perfume she spilled, bringing a meager sense of drunkenness. Lu Fei didn't continue to say anything, just looked ahead intently. The weather and the flow of people and vehicles going out for carnivals on Christmas Eve have made Beijing's traffic even more congested, with all the vehicles stopping and stopping and driving slowly on the windy and snowy roads. However, no matter how much you stumble on the road, there is a moment to arrive, and finally, the car stops under the apartment where Xin Chen lives.

Lu Fei stretched out his hand, unbuckled Xin Chen's seat belt, stroked her hair, and looked at her with a smile, "I'm embarrassing you again, right?" Yes, I tried to convince myself that it would be good to wait quietly, but I couldn't resist coming to see you. ”

Xin Chen turned his head and pressed his face to his warm palm, "You're tempting me, Lu Fei." ”

Lu Fei's voice sounded in a low voice in the small car, "If I can bring you more happiness, I am a little tempted, but unfortunately, so far, I seem to bring you more troubles." ”

"I've been tempted. I know that you will be very good to me, and with you, I will probably be able to enjoy your very accommodating and gentle love. The temptation was too great for me, but I didn't dare to ask for it. Xin Chen took Lu Fei's hand off his face and looked at him squarely, "Listen to me, Lu Fei." When I was fifteen or sixteen years old, I didn't think about anything other than my own feelings, but now I have to think about everything. For example, will my uncle be affected by my indiscretion? Will your family accept your choice? ”

Lu Fei was a little angry, "Is this all you are thinking about?" Do you question whether a man who is almost 30 years old has the ability to be autonomous about his feelings and life? If I can't even control this, how can I let myself bother you. ”

"Yes, you see I'm so realistic, in the face of a man's show of love, the first thing that comes to mind is no longer feelings. Since I was a child, I have caused too much trouble to my uncle, and I can no longer rely on small sales, just to covet that little bit of enjoyment to trouble him and embarrass the people who really love me. Moreover, my current requirement for love is just to be happy with each other, and I always feel that there is nothing worth wronging myself, and I don't want to face the opposition of your family. ”

Lu Fei couldn't help but remember that he had stood outside Xin Chen's house and heard her say something similar to another man, so he and that man were treated no differently to her. He calmed down, "What if I say that none of this is a problem? ”

"Then the problem comes back to me. At the end of the day, I'm not brave enough, I'm probably not loving you enough, I don't have the ability to love someone at all costs, you heard that conversation, my ex-boyfriend realized it, sooner or later you will realize it, disappointed and disillusioned with me. ”

"Don't equate my feelings with him." Lu Fei said clearly, while Xin Chen smiled.

"Of course, you treat me differently, if you are disillusioned, you are willing to let go categorically, and now the breakup will not hurt me. But you're the man. Xin Chen sighed softly, "Lu Fei, you are too self-disciplined, and you have inexplicable guilt for me, even if you are disillusioned, you will still persist and endure the choices you made." If I accept this temptation, I will be so selfish that I cannot be saved. ”

"You have set a premise for my actions, insisting that my love for you is based on guilt and misunderstanding, so all my actions have become a logical paradox in your eyes, do you think this is fair to me or to you?"

Xin Chen looked ahead blankly, at this time the snow was small, only scattered snowflakes flew, silently pounced on the front windshield, turned into water droplets and slowly slid down, dragging out a long trace, and then was disrupted by another string of water droplets and flowing down in one place.

"We've known each other for almost twelve years, and I left you and talked to other girls about getting married. Xiao Chen, if I still say that I have loved you for so long, I am really cheeky. Yes, I just can't forget you, and when I'm happy and lonely, I will remember you. And thank you that life didn't play tricks on me to the end, and didn't let me come back after you married another man and completely forgot about me. You see, when it comes to selfishness, I'm definitely more selfish than you. ”

"If we continue to debate the review like this, it is doomed to be fruitless, and it is a bit ridiculous." Xin Chen smiled bitterly and reached out to the car door, "It's too late, I have to go to work tomorrow, you go back early to rest." ”

Xin Chen went upstairs and took the key to open the door, but saw a pair of women's boots in the entrance, and the door of the pony's bedroom was closed, and there was a faint ambiguous voice inside, of course, this was not the first time he had brought the girl back for the night. Last time she went to the bathroom sleepily in the morning, she bumped into a disheveled girl coming out, and she was really startled, but the other party was surprisingly calm.

Now she's pretty used to it, and she's only talking to ponies in three chapters: no access to her room, no use of her personal belongings, no use of public space for children. Pony readily agreed, and did most of the same.

Don't be too fussy about sharing a room. Xin Chen could only comfort himself, it was much better than hearing the voice from his father's room.

She quickly took her pajamas and went to take a shower, then went back to her room and closed the door tightly. She walked to the window, this window is not facing the side of the road, separated by 11 floors, plus the light snow is falling, looking out is just a blur, the lights near and far with a trance halo, in a blink of an eye, she has been in this metropolis for two months, and this long year is coming to an end.

In such a twilight of the year, the year of the emergency is withering, plus going home for thousands of miles, staying in a bustling city that accommodates more than 10 million people, it is really like a speck of dust. She couldn't help but think that among the thousands of people tonight, the only one who was firmly thinking about herself seemed to be the man who had just driven away.