At the age of almost forty

Understood the parents

I also understood myself

So many ridiculous things have been done

The color of life is also fading

In fact, there is no regret

There are so many things to regret

I had to deliberately forget

When the weather is nice

Just sit on the balcony

Look at the sunshine and look at the passers-by

I want to give it to friends from afar

Call and say safe

Separated by thousands of rivers and mountains

It also blocks the friendship of youth

Actually, there is no such thing as forgetting

There are so many things to forget

I just don't want to try to remember

When the storm is raging

Just standing on the balcony

Look at the swaying branches

and pedestrians hurrying by

I'd like to hear from you

Know where you are

Peace to you

I don't have to

Regret and forgetting

What a futile thing that was

In fact

You've been with me

In different memories of my life

Feel free to reach it

Zhang Mian - "A Man Who Almost Forty Years Old"

When Zhang Mian rode his bicycle to the east of Zhangjia Village, he stood on the high soil slope, the sunset pulled him and the bicycle very long, in his impression of more than ten years, he had never seen such a big sunset, larger than the iron ring he pushed when he was a child, the sunset is Zhangjia Village where Zhang Mian lived, under the sun, those tile houses, trees, antennas are so holy, and there are relatives, friends, pigs, horses, cattle and sheep that he can't see on the soil slope......

When it was almost dark, Zhang Mian rode a bicycle around the door and returned to his grandmother who lived alone, his grandmother had already fallen asleep, and he was taken aback when he opened the door to see Zhang Mian, and then he was happy from the bottom of his heart, Zhang Mian was his grandmother's eldest grandson and his favorite one.

When he was in Zhangjiacun Middle School, Zhang Mian lived with his grandmother in a courtyard in his hometown, the gate was a green painted iron gate, and there were two mulberry trees in the yard that could produce black and sweet mulberries in summer.

It seems that no matter what age a woman is, as long as there is a man she trusts by her side, she will not be afraid, and she can sleep peacefully.

Her husband, Zhang Mian's grandfather, starved to death when Zhang Mian's father was nine years old, and Zhang Mian's grandmother, like many widows of her time, lived alone and finally died quietly.

Zhang Mian's grandmother returned to the house, staggered to make a bed for Zhang Mian, every time before coming back, grandma would fold the quilt on Zhang Mian's bed neatly, and only spread it out when she came back to sleep, every time Zhang Mian wanted to come by herself, she let Zhang Mian rest.

"What day of the week is today." Grandma asked.

"Friday, I missed you, I was supposed to be back tomorrow."

"Flim-tongued, didn't make a mistake." Grandma still doesn't seem to be at ease.

"No, milk, it's cold when you sleep."

"It's not cold, put a hot water bottle, you had a lot of fire when you were a child, and sleeping in my arms in winter is like a small stove." Grandma often told Zhang Mian about his childhood on cold nights, as if she would get warmth when she said it.

Zhang Mian's grandmother chattered for a while, and because she often went to bed early, she fell asleep when Zhang Mian didn't answer.

Zhang Mian turned on the electric light, and the electric light line was divided into two strands, one on the edge of his grandmother's bed, and the other on the edge of his own bed.

Zhang Mian carefully took out the white paper bag given by Yanzi, he originally wanted to see it on the soil slope of the wheel kiln factory, the soil slope is a place where Cao Xiaoshan and Zhang Mian often go when they play together, he is not in a good mood on the soil slope, he did not expect that the swallow not only took pictures, but also prepared it for him a long time ago, it is definitely not temporarily wrapped today. Another reason is that Zhang Mian always feels that if it is opened on the soil slope, Cao Xiaoshan can see or sense it.

He doesn't want to share this matter with Cao Xiaoshan, this kind of happiness really belongs to himself, and others will have less happiness if they know it.

I remember once when Zhang Mian saw a photo of Yanzi from another junior high school classmate, he was very surprised and sad, feeling that Yanzi was not his swallow, this is a pain that is shared, even if I think about it too much, even if it is Yanzi's normal interaction, for a person who loves her deeply, it is also sad.

In the quilt, Zhang Mian carefully opened the white paper bag, he originally wanted to see it tomorrow morning, so that he could look forward to one more night and be happy for another night, but this selfishness retreated without a fight in the face of strong desire.

The photo is the most common seven-inch color photo at that time, Yanzi is wearing a light-colored coat, standing next to the rockery in the photo studio, probably because of infrequent photography, her body is slightly stiff, but her face is still a face of longing, white and sacred.

Zhang Miangang put his finger on the face of the swallow in the photo, and quickly retracted his hand, if he touched it, he couldn't forgive himself. When you return to Gaojia Village, you must give this photo a mold, so that you can feel at ease and touch it boldly.

In the first years of getting along with Yanzi, Yanzi gave Zhang Mu a few more photos, and they even had a group photo of Zhang Mian sitting and standing on the side.

Although there is a story behind each photo, the first photo of the swallow that Zhang received kept him in a happy package for the rest of the week.

The kind of joy that pervades the heart will only appear once when you are in first love, when the first door of love, happiness opens the lock of the first door, so that the person who loves you wants to see and hug.

Zhang Mian watched it over and over again, this is the legendary never tired of seeing, and he was also guessing whether the purpose of Yanzi to give this photo was to save face, or out of recognition of Zhang Mian, or a good impression.

Whatever the purpose, at least Yanzi doesn't hate Zhang Mian.

This photo was finally put in a green cover album by Zhang Mian, if nothing else, Zhang Mian can still find this photo when he returns to his hometown, it is estimated that it will be different from the current description, but there is no point in verifying.

The night in the countryside was particularly quiet, and Zhang Mian was so excited that he didn't fall asleep for a long time after turning off the lights, and he even had a sense of relief.

He thought of the girl he first met many years ago under the pine tree of Zhangjiacun Primary School, the girl who passed by his door every day, the girl who was lying on his desk and staring at his back in class, the girl who read in the morning under the rape flowers at the school gate......

The girl named Swallow.

A sixteen-year-old boy fell in love with a girl when he was ignorant, just like Liu Ruoying's "Later" sang, a boy fell in love with a girl.

When Zhang Mian mustered up the courage to approach her, the girl named Yanzi did not refuse, and began to associate with him amicably.

Everyone's first love may be different, and happiness and beauty are similar.

When the winter chill enveloped Zhangjia Village, Zhang Mian also slowly fell asleep.