"Chen Chen, have you packed your luggage?" Ji Mu knocked on Ji Chen's door, Ji Chen looked up at his mother and nodded.

Ji Chen's mother is a very gentle woman, a typical housewife, who listens to her husband in family affairs, and has no decisive color.

So in Ji Chen's memories, when he was accused of "drug abuse", no matter how much his mother felt sorry for her daughter and missed her, she was strictly forbidden by her husband.

"Almost." Ji Chen looked at the full suitcase.

She is a boarding student, and the school is only half an hour's drive from her home, but it takes about an hour by bus.

"If I go to see Dr. Su again tomorrow, I will see Dr. Su once a month."

Ji Chen heard the worry in her mother's words, and when she was diagnosed with severe depression, her mother cried like a tearful person. She put away all the sharp things in the house, replaced the porcelain bowls with enamel or plastic bowls, and didn't let her enter the kitchen. At that time, Ji Chen couldn't cry or laugh, but she didn't know why it was difficult for her to laugh. As if her facial muscles were being pulled by a tension, she wanted to laugh, but sadness came from her heart.

During this period of time, her condition has finally improved, and she always can't help but be excited when she sees Liuge, as if the whole person is alive and can laugh, and she won't smile and smile and find that she has burst into tears.

What a strange sickness.

"It's okay, Dr. Su also said that I am slowly getting better now."

"That's what my mother is worried about, and I'm finally getting better, and I'm going to school again." Ji Mu sighed. In the eyes of her and Ji's father, Ji Chen's illness was caused by too much pressure on studying.

Ji Chen didn't know how to comfort and enlighten his mother. Two months ago, she was like a sister to her mother, and she suddenly felt that her mother was very strange, she didn't know how to get along with her, and in the face of her mother's cold and warmth, she only felt embarrassed and at a loss. It's like a stranger suddenly becomes very enthusiastic about you.

Ji Chen stuffed the last thing into his suitcase, and then sat and looked at his mother, who didn't know what to say to her. The two of them looked at each other speechlessly, and suddenly Ji's mother cried, she covered her face and choked up.

"You rest early, mom will go back first."

Ji Chen said "um", and then lay down on the bed after his mother closed the door.

The mother in my memory also loves to cry, but it is because of her that she cries.

Ji Chen closed her eyes, and the scene that came to her mind was the summer of one year, she was standing outside the door of her house, and her parents were making a lot of noise in the house. The two of them quarreled so fiercely that they forgot to close the door.

"I'm not going to see her! If she was the daughter of my Ji Lin, she wouldn't have taken drugs! This kind of person who makes the family unfortunate ruin the door! If you dare to go behind my back to her, we'll get a divorce!" If she really treats you as a mother, why don't you want to think that she still has a mother to raise when she is addicted/drugged! ”

"Ji Lin! No matter how she is, she is also our daughter! She did something wrong, and we can make her change! How can you say don't want her! We've raised her for so many years, how can you say don't want it! Ji Lin, you're still not a person! Ji's mother cried silently, but the words of blaming Ji Lin were to the end in one breath.

"Can you make a face! Before and after the police came to our house, didn't the neighbors see enough jokes! Where do you want my old face to go for half my life! Don't think about what you don't have, stay at home for me, I'll take care of things in the next two days and we'll move! Don't cry for me, don't forget you have another one in your belly! What's in your belly is our baby! As for that, you deserve to die! ”

It was obviously a hot summer, but Ji Chen felt cold in her hands and feet, and her parents abandoned her like this. They're her closest people! But he abandoned her so easily.

Ji Chen had never been so cold, she was clutching her chest, the clothes on her chest had been crumpled by her, she was convulsing all over, crying hysterically.

It's so strange that none of these things have happened, and this emotion comes quickly and crazy, wrapping her whole heart together, kneading her heart, as if she has really experienced it, powerless, sad, and a little disgusted.

Even her parents don't need her anymore, is there any reason why she has to live? Her relatives who are related to her are disgusted with her, and in their eyes, she may be just a dirty rag, just throw it away.

Ji Chen covered her mouth, for fear that she would cry too loudly and alarm her parents outside the house, who were already worried too much about her.

Why, do you have those memories, those emotions, that is really your own fantasy?

In her fantasies, are even emotions so real and sad?

If these are not her fantasies, but real, is that why her heart hurts like this?

So, is she really a person who has already died once? After his death, he returned to his eighteen years old.

It's just unbelievable.

But even if Ji Chen chose not to believe it, those heart-wrenching emotions and low emotions reminded her all the time that this was true, really, really.

"Is there really such a thing as being born again?" Ji Chen looked at the chandelier hanging on the ceiling, this chandelier was asked for by his father when he graduated from junior high school, it was very beautiful, even if it was a pile of glass, but after turning on the power, the yellow light refracted through the glass balls looked extremely warm. The joy of seeing it for the first time was gone, and when Ji Chen looked at it, he kept wondering, would it suddenly fall down, it wouldn't be smashed, it just happened to hit her head, if that was the case, would he be relieved like this?

The tears slid into the hair as a tear trail on the skin, and the tear streaks didn't fade away for a while, but the hair was so wet that they stuck together.

Ji Chen lay on the bed, trying not to look at it as much as possible, to think, she forced herself not to "look" at those memories, not to snoop.

She didn't want to see these things, and only in dreams or in some similar situation could she elicit these memories. It's just that some memories are too heavy, and they are not at all what she can bear at this age. So her body will react, most of the time there will be uncontrollable tears, or muscle spasms all over her body.

The time when she had a muscle cramp was her first seizure, and the surgeon was helpless about her condition, and the first thing that came to mind was psychological illness, and then she saw Su Pei.

Everyone thought she was mentally ill, and it was, but even she didn't know where her illness came from. It is like a wind in transit, coming as it pleases, without warning.

In addition to the physiological aspect, the most common thing is that I always dream and have extra memories out of thin air.

Ji Chen wanted to deny all this, it was not true, but it did exist in her mind.

I'm going to school tomorrow, and Ji Chen knows that he should adjust his state well, otherwise, he will definitely look bad tomorrow.

Under the guidance of Su Pei, she learned some ways to calm her emotions and empty herself as much as possible, and I don't know how long it took, Ji Chen no longer cried when she lay on the bed, and her body no longer cramped, she changed the wet pillow towel, and then lay back on the bed again. She was so tired now that she had no strength at all, but she couldn't sleep. Because she was afraid of what she would see in her dreams tonight.

Generally speaking, those memories that make her "sick" will always make her experience it deeply again in her dreams.

Ji Chen put his hands on his stomach and thought about tomorrow with his eyes open.

It's good to see Liuge again tomorrow.

When she thinks of Liuge, she always inadvertently lifts emotions in her heart. After all, it's someone she's liked for so many years.

No matter how much Liuge rejected her thousands of miles away in her "memories", and even forgot about her as a person, but she just couldn't help but like him. I like this emotion, it's really subtle.

Her parents hurt her so much that she could blame them, because it was her parents, and she could resent them; But she couldn't hold a grudge against Liuge, because it was all her own wishful thinking.

The track of my life is not as it is in "memory". At least Liuge now knows who she is, knows her feelings, and does not shy away from her, and is still close to her.

Thinking of this, Ji Chen could ignore those messy things. It doesn't matter what his memory is, no matter what illness he has, her white moonlight is now dangling in front of her eyes, and she doesn't hurry up to hug her thighs, how can she have any time to take care of her illness.

Sometimes, Ji Chen really wants to stay at home, although it gives her the feeling of being at home, but as long as she stays at home, Ji Chen will feel at ease. When she first got sick, she was a little clinging to her parents, and she had to make several phone calls every day when her parents were not at home, for fear that she would be abandoned. But since she met Liuge, she just wants to stick to Liuge every day, as if Liuge can give her all the security, this person will not abandon her and will not hurt her.

However, in the previous life, he was also among the people who hurt her deeply.

Dressed in a neat suit, holding the bride in white gauze, with the blessings of relatives and friends, he smiled happily like a child who saw sugar. That was the first time Ji Chen had seen Liu Ge smile so happily. Both in the previous life and in this life.

In fact, when she did something wrong, Liuge's gritted teeth and hideous face were also particularly cute, because these emotions were for her, not for others, but for her.

These made her feel extremely excited and happy.