The next day, with my father's scolding, I reluctantly got up early. It's just that I got into a fight with my mom because of all the trivial things, and I lay in bed and didn't want to think about it.

But after a while, I heard the sound of throwing things, bang, bang. I couldn't sit still and hurried over to keep the peace.

There is a type of question in the argument called Emergencies, and I write it very well. According to the idea of solving the problem, the first step is to calm the emotions of both sides, block the father who is swinging his fists and legs, and then understand the cause of the matter, and then, according to the panacea of dealing with the contradictions between the people according to the official ape, I began to make peace with the mud, and the two sides each played fifty boards.

Generally, this process can successfully resolve an emergency. But today's situation is a bit special, my mother may have seen me go home, someone supported her, and she frequently made difficulties and refused to give up. So I could only take the second move, sacrifice myself, lead myself to disaster at the critical moment, stand up for my mother, and return to the room to heal after a successful beating.

After this tossing and turning in the morning, I feel that the school is really good, and the military training does not seem to be tiring at all. After a while, my mother told me that she went to work, and when she heard the sound of the security door closing, the stone in my heart was put down. I also hurriedly got dressed, packed up, and secretly went out to the Internet café.

After arriving at the Internet café, I quickly picked up my beloved little AK, stuck a grenade in my waist, and began to shuttle through the rain of bullets. This Internet café downstairs has plenty of comrades at all times, so I joined a 32-person desert map (DUST2) and chose bandits. I especially like a lot of people playing this map together. After the selection of bandits, I always immediately pull out a grenade to rush out of the small door, and then hide behind the big box opposite the small door, as long as there is no delay for a second, just to be able to squat before the police turn back to the box, so that the police will take care of the big wooden door and the opposite bandit shooting, will not notice that there is a person hidden behind the wooden box behind, and expose the back to me in the mobile shooting, I will be crazy in the back to collect people's heads, looking at the lower left corner of the screen +300 green words keep flashing, cool adrenaline secretion at high speed, refreshed.

Before I knew it, it was already eleven o'clock, and I didn't feel tired, but I didn't eat in the morning, and I was a little hungry at this time, so I stretched, then got up and got off the plane, walked out of the Internet café, and went to a place outside the three stations to eat tofu brain. This tofu brain stall is an open-air tricycle, often parked at the door of the baked cake shop at noon, the car pulls two buckets of tofu brain, holds a big umbrella, the shop is a small man about 30 years old, wearing a white coat all the year round, two black red flower sleeves, and a mustache at the corner of his mouth. He would set up four small stools on either side of the tricycle, and I would buy two pancakes and sit on the small stools, and use the fence next to the tricycle bucket as a table to eat.

When the shopkeeper saw me from afar, he shouted with a slight male accent: "I haven't come to Sasa for a long time~"

I replied, "I'm going to school~"

"Yo roar, the colonel gave birth to Sa."

"Well, Eastern University."

"Dongsen? Learn to sa ziyo? Planting trees? ”

"Net nonsense, which stipulates that Dongsen is learning to plant trees? Study law. ”

"Haha, I don't know how to do this."

While I was talking, the store had already covered a basin with a plastic bag for me and filled a bowl of tofu brain.

Bian Sheng said: "Put more daylily on you, defeat the fire, you have nowhere to vent at your age, and you have acne flowers on your face." ”

I laughed and scolded in his tone: "You turtle son, make such a meat joke with Lao Tzu." You are holding back your hair and sprinkling it on your face, and Lao Tzu will tell you two meat jokes. ”

"If you want it, you have to get it, if you have the ability, you can tell Lao Tzu a XING climax, and Lao Tzu will let you eat my tofu for nothing."

On a whim, I really told a joke: "I said that a few people and friends had a party, found a big hotel, and after entering, they began to order." One of the eldest brothers asked, do you have any chickens here? I saw that the waiter looked sneaky, looked left and right, secretly put his head to the eldest brother's ear and stretched out a finger, made a shushing gesture and said, Don't be noisy, I am. ”

I don't know why, every time I tell this joke, the image that comes to my mind is that the person who ordered the food is Zhu Haolin, and then says "Shhhh The waiter is also the image of Zhu Haolin. The incomprehensible direction of thinking may stem from the fact that when you open the bedroom door every day, you will see the eldest brother directing and acting in some funny jokes, right? If life is boring, and making yourself happy is a process of climbing upward, then Zhu Haolin should be the pinnacle of self-entertainment.

After listening to this, the shopkeeper heheed for a while, and said, "Fucking thought he was going to make Miss Sa, and it was very prodigal." But it's not fun, you have another one. ”

I thought for a moment: "One more, one more." ”

What I have is that my eldest brother learns jokes from various channels every day, and then drags me to spread them, and I am now a porter of jokes.

It is said that the two chicks went to the bathing center to find the lady, and after washing, they came to the rest hall, and then picked up the consumption list and researched, which is the service is to find the miss. The list reads 28 pedicures, 38 health massages, and 88 Thai bone loosening............

And one of them said to the other:

"Let's look back, which one is more expensive and which one will definitely be."

Another person agreed: "Yes, just order the most expensive, waiter!" ”

The waiter came running over and asked, "Sir, what kind of service do you need?" ”

"Come on, come on, this, 288, sheep scorpion package."

The waiter said with a serious face: "I'm sorry sir, the sheep scorpion set meal, in the restaurant on the second floor." ”

The shopkeeper laughed when he heard this.

After laughing, the shopkeeper asked, "I don't know how much it costs to find a young lady?" ”

I had a black line on my face: "I haven't looked for it, how do you know this." ”

Then he said, "I'd love to give it a try." ”

I replied: "Haha, I'll find an African black girl when I'm looking for you, and when I think about it when I'm old, the picture is all black, and I can't remember anything." ”

He said: "It's good to be cool now, and then think about it when you're old, we rural people have a short life expectancy and don't want to go so far." ”

The shopkeeper's words choked me, do rural people have a short lifespan, why do you say this? I was deep in thought. After the shopkeeper said this, he stopped talking. After a while, I finished drinking the soup base in the tofu brain, got up and patted the crumbs of the baked cake on my pants, took out a dollar, and told the store, "Let's go." ”

The shopkeeper nodded at me, "Come again." ”

I raised my hand and walked home, and on the way I kept thinking, how many bowls of tofu brain have to be sold for a dollar to find a young lady; Miss Africa is not more expensive; Tofu brain white is still a girl's body white; Who did Bai Juyi send to Guangling? It turned out that there was a song hall opposite the house, and I heard that there were young ladies, and when I heard the adults chatting, they all stood outside in their underwear in summer; White long legs, delicate breasts, curved waists, delicate tongues...... I'm shamelessly hard. Then I leaned against the side of the road to calm down, and I was full of horn. At this moment, the mobile phone rang, and I woke up from a spring dream.

Xiaobei hurriedly shouted: "Fifth brother, hurry up, hurry up!" ”

I was shocked and hurriedly asked, "What?" ”

"There is a red Radius KTV on Central Street, fast, bring more people!" Saying that, Xiaobei had already hung up the phone.

I recalled the details of Xiaobei hanging up the phone for me just now, the phone was very noisy, and there was a scolding voice, I analyzed, it was not a joke, and I specified who I was working with.

I hurried towards Central Street. Hongledi KTV is very famous, I have been to the high school reunion twice, and it is only a 20-minute walk from where I am now and the place Xiaobei said. As I walked, I wondered who to find for help, and I didn't know who to look for, because it would cost money to find someone, and it would be a burden to my family to take responsibility. The key thing is so urgent, it's too late to find someone. I gritted my teeth and thought to myself, no one is looking for me, let's go and see what the situation is first.

When I walked to the street where Red Luck was located, I turned the corner and saw a large crowd of people not far away, and I was confused when I saw the formation, and there were about thirty or forty people gathered outside, thinking that this was a dead end.

I pretended to be casual and went to the periphery to scout the situation. After observing for a while, I can see that the situation is not as bad as I imagined. Such a large group of people, most of them are watching the excitement. The crowd moved forward, and in the first row were 5 young people dressed in non-mainstream clothes, full of purple and red, who were the enemy soldiers. The middle one looks like a rustic look. There is also a long-haired inch, wearing a black hurdle vest, holding a machete in his hand, squatting on a flower bed with his legs crossed. About 5 meters in front of the flower bed is a yellow wall, I saw the eldest brother, the third brother, and Xiaobei standing in front of the wall, the third brother holding a long mop in his hand, Xiaobei and the eldest brother holding half a brick in their hands, and the three people blocking the two girls behind them, it was Xiaohu and Tian Xue.

The two sides just held each other, neither scolding nor rushing, the hurdle vest casually chopped the mud on the edge of the flower bed with a knife, pinched a cigarette in his left hand, raised his back with every puff, and blew a pillar of smoke into the sky vigorously, it felt like saying "Brother plays with you like a cat playing with a mouse".

This dude, arrogant.

When they saw me, they were obviously a little excited, I hurriedly shook my head, and motioned to them with my eyes to keep quiet, I thought to myself that I would use the safest way to get these brothers out.