On this day, I was studying at home with Liuding Liujia, when Lao Wang walked in and said, "Nine guys, there is a life!" ”

Hearing this, I didn't know whether to be happy or depressed, so I replied lightly, "Young man? Or the elderly? ”

This is the rule of our Eight Immortals, no matter what coffin we carry, we must first know who the deceased is, the old have the price of the elderly, and the young have the price of the young people.

He said: "The old man, who has returned to his life, is eighty-seven years old this year, and the master wants to invite us to carry the coffin, but another group of fake immortals is robbing business. ”

The so-called 'fake immortals' means that the deceased's own village does not belong to the industry of the Eight Immortals, they only carry some old people who have returned to life, and when they encounter young people and people who have died unnaturally, they will avoid them, and once they meet those who have returned to life, they want to get a piece of the pie.

Since the rise of the profession of the Eight Immortals, the fake immortals and us are constantly in dispute, the fake immortals say that we love to pretend to be hypocrites, and those who carry the coffin have to wear a high hat and call themselves the eight immortals. We scolded the fake immortals for being ignorant, and an ordinary person had to participate in the affairs of the eight immortals, in order to make some foreign money, and the deceased who had to be rectified could not get peace after death.

Later, for the sake of 'business', the fake immortals and the eight immortals often fought, and even went to the news in Hengyang because of this matter, and in the end, the police station gave us a death order, asking whoever carries the coffin to have the final say, and whoever dares to make trouble will close the number.

Even so, we still have constant conflicts with the fake immortals, although there are no large-scale fights, but the kung fu on the lips is a common thing, and it is our eight immortals who suffer. The reason is that we are from other villages, and the fake immortals are generally from this village, and their mothers-in-law are even more fierce, and they will not let us go if they don't scold us and peel off their skins.

It's no wonder that they are, after all, there are too few ways to make money in the countryside, except for occasionally building a new house and making some money, that is, by carrying the coffin to make some money, to put it simply, carrying the coffin is a fat difference in the eyes of the fake immortals.

I made up my mind at the moment, followed Lao Wang out, and spent 30 yuan to invite the most splashy widow Liu in our village, and asked her to go with us, Lao Wang scolded me, "Jiu Yanzi, you kid is too bad." ”

Speaking of this widow Liu, her real name is Liu Qingxiu, thirty-seven or eighteen years old, her head is full of white hair, her whole body is white, and even her eyes are a little white, some people say she is a foreigner, and some people say she is a yin person, in fact, it is a kind of albinism in medicine, not the kind they say.

She is famous in the vicinity of our village for one hundred and eighty miles, up to the eighty-year-old man, down to the six-year-old child, no one is not afraid of her, as long as she goes to that station, the other party is timid, definitely not because of appearance, but her mouth is too vicious, to what extent, let me tell you, her husband is scolded by her can't stand it, hanged herself, and people give her the nickname of the white-mouthed Diao woman.

On the way, Lao Wang told me that the deceased was from Li Village, named Li Huoda, who had been sick for several years, and he didn't pick it up in one breath, so he returned to the arms of his ancestors.

Originally, Lao Wang wanted to call the other Eight Immortals over to be strong, but I said a word to him, and Lao Wang dispelled this idea, I said, "Are a dozen men worthy of her?" As I spoke, I glanced at Widow Liu, and Lao Wang nodded again and again.

When we came to Li Village, before we entered the village, we were stopped by several women and scolded: "One-eyed dragon, you little loach, which widow did you come to our village to look at?" Aren't you afraid that your daughter-in-law will make you kneel on the washboard? ”

They ignored me directly, I was secretly happy in my heart, who knew that Lao Wang, this bastard, actually yin me, he said: "I am now messing with Jiu Yanzi, and I have something to tell him." With that, the bastard winked at me on purpose.

If it weren't for the sake of him bringing me into the industry, I would have wanted to smoke him, I said that I was yin, this bastard is more yin than me.

"That's... A few aunts, have something to say! I smiled politely at them, as the saying goes, don't hit the smiling person, I think it can be resolved peacefully, there is no need to make a fuss, the folks in the big hometown, look up and don't look down, and be embarrassed to meet in the future.

"You are a coward, you don't go to Guangzhou to find a job at a young age, and you even carry the coffin, you are not afraid that you will not be able to marry a daughter-in-law in the future, and if you do this business, are you worthy of the parents who gave birth to you and raised you? Your parents raised you so big, so they asked you to carry the coffin? An older shrew scolded.

As soon as I read a book, I didn't care about this group of shrews, so I glanced at Widow Liu and said, "Aunt Liu, if you win the scolding, you will be given an additional ten yuan salary." ”

"Okay, Jiu Yanzi, Aunt Liu didn't misread you!" Widow Liu walked out from behind me.

I have never seen a person with such a huge lethality, the moment those women saw Widow Liu, they were first shocked, then involuntarily took a few steps back, and then as if they had seen a ghost, they exclaimed: "The white-mouthed woman is here!" After saying that, a nest of fire dispersed.

The shadow of the tree, the name of the person, this is the 'charm' of Widow Liu, how can it be compared with ordinary women? Unless they are tired of living, they will scold Widow Liu.

I shrugged my shoulders helplessly, stuffed forty yuan for Widow Liu, and said: "Nine people, if you encounter this matter in the future, you will definitely not be wrong, this group of little shrews, the old lady scolded more than a dozen, and they can be invincible." ”

"Okay!" I nodded, and asked Widow Liu to go back first, and walk with Lao Wang to the village.

It may have been that the women told the story of Widow Liu, and we went to the deceased's house without any further resistance.

We were received by a middle-aged man, with a Chinese face, a bench head, dressed in linen and filial piety, when he saw the two of us, he was a little excited, and said: "Lao Wang, we have met once, you must do a good job of my old man's funeral." ”

"Definitely, definitely!" Lao Wang nodded.

The middle-aged man invited the two of us in, made us a pot of tea, and said, "Lao Wang, you also know the situation of my family, the three brothers are all farming at home, and they have no financial resources, I want to let you eight immortals hold all this funeral!" In terms of price, I hope you can give a discount! ”

Lao Wang only knew how to carry the coffin, and he didn't know anything else, so he looked at me and asked, "Jiu Yanzi, Lao Xiucai praised you for having fairy roots, do you have the ability to do next?" ”

"All?" I asked.

Before Lao Wang could speak, the middle-aged man glanced at me, looked surprised, and said, "Yes, does the little brother have this ability?" ”

As soon as I heard it, I wondered, dare I be so famous? You must know that in general funerals, the main family will invite some elderly 'experts', like this kind of hairy boy, not to mention the funeral, even carrying the coffin will be disliked, why didn't the main family dislike me?