(Kid's Extra)

I am a redeemed person and a sinner.

Keep reassuring yourself that there is no choice. But only I know that when I was ten years old, it was because I found my sister, and then I was left behind. Since then, Ziyao's name has become a taboo at home, I have nightmares every night, I always feel that my left arm is hurting, it is Ziyao crying, complaining, and hating.

This pain slowly disappeared as it grew, and I was overjoyed, thinking that Ziyao had finally let go and breathed with peace of mind. But God told me not to get carried away. With a light stroke, I was beaten back to the prototype, the familiar pain was rampant, and the mood escalated, this is Ziyao roaring, angry, and retaliating.

She hated us for forgetting her, and hated me for taking her place. So since she's in pain, let me be with you.

At first, I endured it and didn't let my family know, but my sister's eyes were so sharp, and the pain was drilling into the bone marrow, so it didn't take long for my sister to find out. At that time, her expression made me never forget, staring at my shoulder, word by word: "Tong Ziyao, it's useless to complain, this is your life." ”

It turned out that I was not the only one who felt that Ziyao was still there.

The family has entered a bleak cloud again, and it is impossible for a second Ziyao to change my bones. My sister stares at me every day with strange eyes, and I know in my heart what she is thinking, but there is already a Ziyao in the body, do we have to integrate the three sisters into one?

It was morning when I received a call from my sister, I was still sleeping, and when I got to my sister, I was stunned. She was covered in blood, but before I could say anything, she said it wasn't hers. And in the back of the car lay a man, missing his left arm and legs...... I looked at her in horror, no, it wasn't what she did.

My sister didn't have time to talk to me, so she took the medical supplies I had brought with her and began to stop the man's bleeding and bandage him, and threw me a bag and told me to take it back to my father. I almost fainted when I looked at the contents of the bag. Although half of Ziyao's bones were connected to me back then, I was unconscious at the time, and I had never seen that bloody scene with my own eyes.

I refused to leave and asked my sister what was going on. It was a deal, she said, and she saved his life at the cost of his hand. She added that it was providential. I don't understand what she meant by the providence of the latter, but I only know that the man's left arm and left leg were wounded by themselves, or if they were gunshot wounds. And this person is her client, and the two of them are on a business trip to other provinces, what happened there. When I asked again, my sister didn't want to answer again, only saying that the less I knew, the better for me.

But is it really good? After that, my father left home and died of illness; My sister wandered away and suffered humiliation; Mother washes her face with tears all day long; The madness of tearing filled my mind, but I couldn't do anything but paint.

Stepping into the gallery and looking into the calm eyes of the boss, I got that job in the best possible light. I finally have a place to breathe, and I feel comfortable smelling the ink here. I didn't want to leave more and more, and many times I almost opened my mouth to the boss Sister Xia, wanting to stay there, but the words shrank back when they came to their mouths.

Abnormal people are always afraid of appearing in front of others. Even if Sister Xia doesn't deliberately come close, she is still afraid that she will notice my abnormality, so a normal statement is a safe distance. No one knows, I am excited to go to work every day, and I am tormented every time I get off work. Occasionally, when Sister Xia went out to talk about work, and when I was the only one left in the gallery, I could kiss each painting and smell the ink on it.

That's when I met him.

If my world used to be gray, then after I met him, it became colorful. As he walked into the gallery, the afternoon sun hit his back, and the whole person was shrouded in light and shadow, and I squinted and felt dazzling.

The stream trickles into his heart, opening his heart to another person for the first time, and letting him walk into his own dark world. In the space of the dark tide, a light gradually turned on, thinking that it could drive away the darkness, and I tried to get closer. He said that I was normal, and that it was the paranoia of my sister and father that was imposed on me that led to today's situation; He also said that psychological illness is the same as physical trauma, and we must not shy away from medical treatment, but dare to face it.

I'm normal. What a nice word.

The heart is sunny and not afraid of sadness. That day my sister said that I had become pretty, and I smiled sweetly. Introduce your sister to him, and if the mental illness can be cured through treatment, why not try it once? When my sister came back, I asked her how she was doing, and she stretched between her eyebrows like never before, and she said, "It feels good."

I'm happy that maybe one day, we can really live normally. I hope that the haze will dissipate soon, that the pain can stop, that my father can come back as soon as possible, and that Ziyao can not hate. He rubbed my hair and said, "Silly girl."

yes, I'm just a silly girl. So after colliding with my sister's lover, I followed unknowingly and almost stepped into hell, but my sister came quickly. The first time I saw my sister lingering under the man, I stared at him with wide eyes, and at that moment, all the darkness in my heart was pouring out, and I wanted to stab him in the chest with a sharp knife.

But my sister said to me "go" with her mouth! There was no humiliation in her eyes, and she calmly did not look like humiliation at all.

I stumbled out of the guild hall almost in despair, and when I found him, I fell at his feet, and lay on the ground looking at him, muttering in my mouth that it was useless, and that my heart was full of sores, which could never be healed.

He crouched down and looked down at me and said, "Since it's a sore, dig it up."

The sore had grown for so many years that it had almost rotted there, and to dig it up, you had to cut the flesh and scrape the bones. I enjoyed the process, my body hurting but my spirit was happy. As soon as I am happy, I am inspired, and if I don't have a white paper easel, then choose that white wall. This is the most unbridled painting ever, and after I finish it, I sweat profusely and look back to see my sister looking at me with obsessive eyes.

She said: Xiaohan, so beautiful.

I walked up to her and looked at her: Would you like to?

Not long ago, she told me about the accident two years ago, saying that she had sold her heart to the devil and lived only for me. And the demon was also a victim of that fear, pitiful and pathetic, so she didn't hate.

So at this moment, she bent her lips and smiled, reached over to stroke my hair, and whispered: For you, sister is willing.

I closed my eyes and grinned at her when I opened them again. There was no pause in the steps of the basement, and it was clear to my heart that this was the last time I saw her, and that it was all going to be over.

When I received a call from my mother, my heart was numb, was it painful? No, everything is willing, she is my sister. It's just that the surface has to be done, the tears of sadness, the expression of sadness, are in place. Deceived their eyes, and removed the pair.

On Tiger Cliff Mountain, there was a scorched corpse that was not formed, and finally there was a flood of pain somewhere.

Sister, you are not dead, you are still here, our three sisters are finally together, and Ziyao can no longer hate.

I thought that when I turned to ashes, my secret would be hidden forever, but it was like a hand that could do everything to peel off the coat layer by layer, exposing the rotten things. I went to him in a panic, my sister used such an extreme way to annihilate all possibilities, and it can't be over, so what else can I do?

It's just that I didn't expect that this time I fell at his feet again, lying on the ground weakly, looking up at the same angle, my vision was blurred. He didn't crouch down, he looked at me with his head down and pity in his eyes.

I don't understand, pity what? Didn't he always treat me with a normal attitude? I came to him just to listen to him and to lean on his shoulder. But why, does he have pity on me?

In the fog, he seemed to hear him whispering in a very gentle tone: "My good girl, it's your turn." ”

It was as if there was a thread of thought, and instructions were engraved on it, and I had no thought except to do it. Walk into the gallery, cut out a sketch portrait, write a suicide note, and what else? Cut the pulse with a knife, lie down and die quietly.

The gallery is my favorite habitat, where I feel at home; The sketch portrait is by far my proudest work, because the man in it is probably the only one who can resist my dark state of mind, apart from him.

His name is Gao Cheng, I never knew that human eyes have magic before I met him, that day he walked in the door and asked Sister Xia, just looked at me lightly, and there was a feeling that his heart was touched. Moreover, he was so good-looking that I immediately wanted to draw him. I made a request with trepidation, but I didn't expect it to be refused. Simply looking directly into those eyes, I feel that I can touch the deepest depths, I can trace his charm on paper, I can engrave the complexity under his eyes, and I can tell him the secrets of my heart without any scruples.

It's just something that's too rotten, and it's still pressed in the depths.

Writing that letter, there is the suppression of the order, and there are also some words I want to pour out to Gao Cheng for the last time. I don't know if it's psychologically dark to a certain extent, even if it's uncontrollable, it's still possible to do something beyond instinct. For example, a messy paper cutter, for example, a blood-stained painting drawn with life at the end.

He must not have imagined that I would expose him in such a way. Why? Because he once made me think that I was normal and focused on the sun, but it turned out that I had always been stranded in the dark hell.

Whether it's me or my sister, it turns out that we are just his tools.

When I close my eyes, I have never felt a moment of peace, no pain, no sadness. The last thing that remains in my mind is the day he walked into the gallery like a fairy in the sun, confusing my ......<