Chapter 294: I Play the Dog, You Play the Girl

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"Actually, I also like puppies," I said to Ye Qian seriously, "There are puppies in many love stories I've written before!" ”

"I remember that you have a love fable," Ye Qian thought about it, "it seems to be called "The Girl and the Dog", right! ”

"Yes," I smiled, "it was written many years ago!" ”

"Why don't we perform that love fable!" Ye Qian suggested.

"Okay," I said seriously, "do you remember the content?" ”

"I don't remember it all," Ye Qian smiled wryly, "because I watched it a long time ago!" Or I'll watch it again and we'll do it again, okay! ”

"Good!" As I spoke, I walked into the study, took the book "Sad Orange" that I had published, and handed it to Ye Qian, "You read it first!" ”

Ye Qian smiled.

She began to flip through the book with interest.

I went to the study, opened a bottle of red wine, and began to drink it comfortably.

Time passes little by little.

"Come here!" Ye Qian shouted in the bedroom, "Let's start performing!" ”

"You play that girl," I walked into the bedroom and said to Ye Qian, "I play the puppy!" ”

"You play a puppy," Ye Qian said with a smile, "Are you exalting you, or are you insulting the puppy?" ”

"Lift me up," I laughed, "and let me be a puppy!" ”

"Okay!" Ye Qian walked up to me seriously, pretending to be sad and stroked my head and muttered, "Little dog, you can help me!" How can I break up with that scumbag boyfriend? ”

"Wow!" I said seriously, "As the saying goes, men are afraid of getting into the wrong business, women are afraid of marrying the wrong man, and they are afraid of following the wrong master." It's a misfortune for you girls to marry the wrong man like our dogs with the wrong owner! However, if you accept your fate because of this, and hold the negative attitude of 'eating and drinking spicy food if you keep up with the rich, eating bran and vegetables when you keep up with the poor, and eating fart and drinking wind when you keep up with Hanako', it is the misfortune of misfortune and it is absolutely unacceptable! ”

"Yes!" Ye Qian nodded lightly, "People should be loyal, but don't be foolish; People should give, but don't lose themselves. Happiness is like wearing shoes, whether it is comfortable or not, only you know, not for others to see. ”

"You're right," I said with deep understanding, "and let me say that the first master was an official, rich and powerful. I used to think that after following him I would enjoy all the glory and prosperity, and live a happy and happy life, but I was wrong, and there was not a single box of dry dog food he received that I could eat, either banknotes or gold necklaces; Someone else brought real dry dog food, but he threw it out the door. When I went downstairs to play, I was either kicked by laid-off workers or beaten twice by retired veteran cadres, and they threatened to skin me! Other dogs don't play with me either, and I look like a corrupt official and smell of corruption. Sasha, who fell in love with me at first sight, also said: 'You are good in nature, but your background and environment are not good!' 'Hey! I was so sad that I thought about running away from home and committing suicide several times, but I never succeeded......"

"You are so pathetic!" Ye Qian stroked my head sympathetically and said.

"By chance," I said suddenly happily, "I accidentally rubbed on my body, and my master looked at me with a frown for a long time, looking very annoying. I simply didn't do it, I just didn't do it, I just rolled on it every time I urinated, and after rolling the feces and urine, I drilled into his arms and rubbed on him, and I enjoyed it. Hehe! Within a few days, he sent me away like a plague god, without even asking for money! ”

"Huh! That's a great idea! Ye Qian laughed happily.

"Since then, I have had countless owners," I said, shaking my head, "but most of them are quacks, profiteers, escorts, and the like who have brought disaster to the country and the people." I can't figure out why there are so many people like this now? I annoyed them, and I tossed them in another way, and in the end, it was how they picked me up and sent me away......"

"That guy also said that he bought it for me from the pet market for 2,000 yuan!" Ye Qian said indignantly.

"He's a liar!" I was equally indignant and said, "He picked me up on the side of the road, and it didn't cost him a penny!" ”

"I don't want to live with this liar again!" Ye Qian gritted her teeth and said.

"Yes!" I also gritted my teeth and said, "It's better to live with a dog than to live with such a stinky man!" ”

"Then how did I break up with him?" Ye Qian asked me with difficulty, "You are a dog, do you have any specific experience and methods?" ”

"Of course I have this," I said proudly, "although I have jumped out of the sea of suffering, but considering that there are still many fox friends in dire straits, let's talk a little bit about the experience of changing dogs for owners!" It can be used as a reference for dogs when they get rid of their masters, and it can also be used for men who enter the wrong line and women who marry the wrong man when they abandon the darkness and turn to the light......"

"Tell me how!" Ye Qian urged.

"Okay," I began to sum up with a wagging head, "Yin and Yang Reversal Method: when the master wakes up, you rest, close your eyes and recuperate, and when the master rests, you wake up, screaming and making trouble; True drama and fake practice: pretending to bite the master to play, shaking his head and tail, playing and playing to be real, with an innocent face; Feces and urine shell method: deliberately defecate anywhere, rub after defecation, rub the owner after rubbing feces and urine, and enjoy it; Anti-guest method: when you see the living person, you are very affectionate, like a couple, and you don't react when you see the host, like a stranger; Nervous insanity: learn to be a civil and martial drunken maniac, moody, eat feces and lick urine and run wildly, upside down; Self-mutilation: No eating, drinking, no calling, sickness; It's useless to take injections and medicines, and you won't die or live......"

I spoke with great interest.

Ye Qian listened attentively.

"Of course, the method of use varies from person to person," I admonished after I finished explaining the method, "This dog suggests that mental destruction should be the main thing, and physical damage should be used as a secondary thing, so as not to be thrown downstairs or stuffed into the refrigerator by the grumpy owner!" ”

"Yes!" Ye Qian muttered to herself, "Breaking up is an undesirable ending for any party in love." However, for various reasons, the continuation of some feelings can only hurt each other more deeply, and only the end is the wisest choice. ”

"You're right!" I said solemnly, "If you agree, you will stay, and if you don't, you will go." If a love always brings you hurt and pain, then it is better to simply get rid of this burden, move forward lightly, and find your own true happiness and future! ”

"A wrong love is a tragedy; To end a tragedy is to start a comedy! Ye Qian muttered to herself, "I won't let the short-term pain drag out the long-term pain, let the long-term pain drag into a marriage, and finally ruin my own happiness, not to mention, even the happiness of the children will be ......."

"As long as you want to break up, there is no one in the world who can't get rid of it!" I said happily and jumped up and down.

"That's right! There is no one in the world who can't get rid of it! Ye Qian smiled and jumped up with me.

"I seem to hear the sound of the key turning the door lock," I looked up at Ye Qian and said, "I guess that scumbag friend of yours is back!" ”

"I know," Ye Qian said and touched my head happily, "It's time for me to perform!" ”

"Yay," I said happily, "we've made a success!" ”

"Fun!" Ye Qian smiled.

"It's fun!" I smiled.

"Thank you for teaching me how to dump my scumbag boyfriend," Ye Qian said with a smile, "I want to learn and use it on you!" ”

"Then I'm a carpenter's flail—self-inflicted!" I smiled wryly.

"It's time to rest," Ye Qian said and yawned, "Don't touch me, let's sleep separately!" ”

"I know!" I said and turned away stupidly.

Dead.

I didn't feel sleepy.

The ghost blows the lamp

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