It rained overnight.

Shangguan Jingyu sat alone by the window and sat all night.

Naturally, Fleur and Su Yan didn't understand what she was thinking. In fact, since Shangguan Jingyu fell into the lotus pond and woke up, the whole person was in a strange state.

Crying is not like crying, laughing is not like laughing.

The previous tears were just acting. And laughing...... Even if Yanran chuckled, she was always hurt and never really happy.

Now, she always likes to sit quietly alone, so quiet that it is frightening.

"In the past, young ladies would cry and laugh, and be happy and sorrowful, and never sat for an hour or two like now. Now, I sat all night. Fu Yuan stood worriedly at the end of the corridor, looking at Shangguan Jingyu, who was sitting by the window with an indifferent expression.

The redness and swelling on Shangguan Jingyu's face had faded, if he didn't get a slap, how could he calm the anger in Shangguan Feng's heart. As a daughter, she knows her father too well. Shangguan Feng does things, and he doesn't remember grudges. Even if Fleur saved her first, if Shangguan didn't feel guilty, he would definitely not let Fleur go.

It's worth it to exchange a slap for a way to live.

It's just that she's not going to say anything to Fleur.

Su Yan sighed lightly, "There are too many things in my heart, and I don't know how to talk about it, so even she can't find the direction herself." In the long run, she will suffocate herself. Morning and evening...... Something is going to happen! ”

Fleur stared at Su Yan in horror, "Miss can't think about it?" ”

What is it that makes the young lady like this? Because of the marriage? Or was it because you were robbed last time and you were frightened? Or is it ...... What did Xiangye say last night?

Fleur couldn't guess and couldn't figure it out.

"That's hard to say." Su Yan shook his head, "Some people look glamorous, but their hearts are full of holes. There are always hurdles in people's hearts, and it depends on whether you can pass your own level. After that, the road is immeasurable. Can't get by...... Some people can't think of going to a dead end, and some people have a green light ancient Buddha who has survived. ”

She looked at Shangguan Jingyu's sluggish expression, "In her heart, I'm afraid that there is a dead knot, and it's very sad." ”

"How's that to be?" Fleur asked.

"I know Master Yiyan in the National Temple, why don't you try it?" No makeup frowned.

Fleur thought about it, but finally nodded.

The Dharma is boundless, and the shore is the shore.

But where is her shore?

Martial law has been placed in the eastern capital, and the assassins are searched everywhere. Shangguan Feng was not in the mansion for a long time, and no one dared to stop Shangguan Jingyu's entry and exit. She just went out from the main gate generously, saying that she was going to the national temple to worship incense and pray for blessings.

After the last time she made a fuss, the house was already much quieter, and all the doors and courtyards did not dare to make a mistake.

Shangguan Jingyu also relieved his heart, listened to the persuasion of Su Yan and Fu Yuan, and entered the National Temple.

*

In the simple and quiet meditation room, two cups of tea and sandalwood are overflowing.

It is to be silent, to be here, to feel that the whole heart has been purified. The Sanskrit sound in the ears is reassuring.

Sitting on the futon, Shangguan Jingyu looked at Master Yiyan in front of him expressionlessly. In her early years, she had met Master Yiyan, otherwise the situation would be so chaotic, and she would not dare to go out easily.

"I can't imagine that after a few years, the young lady is already in time." Master Yiyan is a kind old man, wearing a robe and two white eyebrows. He smiled and made tea for Shangguan Jingyu, without the slightest thought of worldly dignity and humility. Between words, such as the elders are gentle.

"My father said that my name is still due to the master." Shangguan Jingyu nodded respectfully to show his gratitude.

Yiyan smiled gently, "Then the young lady knows the word Jingyu, what is the reason?" ”

Shangguan Jingyu shook his head, "I hope to teach you." ”

"If you expect too much in everything, you will be disappointed. Therefore, it is too rigid and easy to fold, and it can be overcome with softness. When Mrs. Xiangye was alive, she came to the temple to ask the old man to give the name of the flesh and blood in the abdomen. Yi Yan said what happened back then, and he was also full of emotion, "The so-called Jing Yu, a combination of rigidity and softness, wishes peace and joy." ”

As a parent, what you hope for is nothing more than your children, who live their lives in peace and joy.

She smiled wryly and sipped her tea.

But when it touched my mother, I still felt a faint pain in my heart. I couldn't help but let go of my vigilance.

"Miss has a bad complexion, and she looks like she is overwhelmed, but what's the trouble?" Yiyan changed the subject.

Shangguan Jingyu shook his head gratefully, "No." ”

"The wind outside can be considered free?" He asked.

She bowed her head, "Riding a horse and howling the west wind, how can you not be free?" ”

Yiyan reached out of the window, as if grasping something, and clenched his fist in front of her, "Lao Wei grabbed it." ”

"Catch the wind?" She scoffed, "How can you catch it?" ”

"When I say catch, I catch it." Yiyan smiled, "If you don't believe it, you can try it." ”

Shangguan Jingyu frowned, and also followed his example and reached out of the window to catch the wind. Then, she looked into her palm and chuckled.

"Did you catch it?" Yiyan asked.

She shook her head, "I can't hold it, I can't hold it." ”

"Born from the heart, there is a demon in the heart, how can you be at ease?" Yiyan sighed lightly, "There is a demon in my heart, how can I grasp freedom?" You can't even do it yourself, so why bother? ”

The eyelashes slowly drooped, and there was still no emotion on her face, "I used to think that I hated someone, hated it to the core, and hated to eat it on the skin." ”

"But...... Heaven has given me a chance to return all the damage to its original origin. You say, what should I do with him? ”

"Love is in the bones, you can't forget it, you can't cut it off. But what about my hatred? Nothing has happened, he has never loved me, he has never hurt me, he will not even remember me, so how can I hate him? ”

She lowered her eyes, a little dazed, and there was still no ripple on her face, "Grabbing a handful of air, talking about love and hate that no one can understand, how much it hurts, do you know?" ”

"I know how stupid it is to deceive yourself. The more you know, the more you think about what will happen later, and the more you are powerless to change, the more painful it becomes. Knowing that it will happen, but unable to stop it, how powerless it will be. ”

"I'm really tired. Master, do you understand what it's like for everyone to be drunk and sober up? I'm not a natural winner, I just want everyone around me to be okay. ”

After that, she drank the tea in the cup.

Yiyan still looked at her with a smile, "Wouldn't it be better to say it?" ”

Shangguan Jingyu shook his head, "But no one will understand." ”

"If you feel uncomfortable, then let it go!" He spoke lightly.

"I'll ...... when I've arranged everything," she hesitated.

Yi Yan shook his head and sighed lightly, "The five poisons of Buddhism are greed, hatred, stupidity, arrogance, and suspicion. The so-called seven sufferings are birth, old age, sickness, death, resentment, love and separation, and can't ask for it. Each man has his own life, and he will meet by fate, and every man will redeem his own karma. ”

"Only by letting go can you be free, and only when you give up can you gain. Everything is fate, isn't it better to follow fate? ”

Shangguan Jingyu was silent, looked up at Yiyan's kind appearance, and reluctantly pursed his lips.

It's not that you don't laugh, it's that you can't laugh.

It's not that you don't cry, it's that you can't cry.

It's as if all emotions are trapped and unreleased. She felt a taut string in her brain, which would either heal without medicine or collapse and die.

If there is no harm that has happened, should it be hated?

Once upon a time, she loved that man as if she were her own life.

"I'll go for a walk!" Shangguan Jingyu felt that he was about to suffocate, and Yiyan's gaze was extremely gentle, but it was also extremely thorough. She felt embarrassed to be seen through, picked up her skirt and ran out.

She kept running to the backyard, all the time.

Until he ran out of breath, until he leaned on the pillar of the porch in exhaustion, gasping for breath.

The roses in the backyard have bloomed early, but the leaves are still lush. When the frost falls, the leaves will wither away. She stood firmly under the rose-covered walls, as she had done when she was younger, and looked up at the rose-covered thorns.

Not far away, Su Yan sighed and shook his head.